Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer created it all. I'm just so grateful she allows us to play around with her characters.
Just two more chapters of Unloved Unwanted. I really appreciate all your support and feedback, and I love hearing your thoughts!
Marcus POV
The last miles quickly disappeared beneath our feet, and before I knew it we arrived in Volterra. Didyme's eyes widened at the sight before her. Aro had added wings to the original castle, expanding it as the Volturi grew, but we were creatures of habit, and as such, our quarters still existed in the central tower that had been our original fortress. Our rooms had been modified, of course, adding modern creature comforts such as plumbing and electricity as humans created the marvels. The last renovation had occurred less than a decade ago, so if the amenity existed, we possessed it. The décor was deceptive, though, other than newer furnishings and a modern bathroom, Didyme would feel as if she'd stepped back into the suite we'd shared over millennia ago.
I grew nervous. Would she like it? Would she feel welcome? Would she continue to allow me to hold her hand? Or would she shy away when we were alone? She'd kissed me before we went up the cliff below the Romanian's castle. Yes, it had been a chaste one, but a kiss it had been. Would she allow me the liberty again? The love that bound us together was as strong as ever; my gift made that clear, but my gift was not specific, lacking in details. The questions buzzed around me like gnats bothering the grazing cattle in the fields. I wanted to roar in my frustration, but I knew I wouldn't. I'd been handed my forever again…and I would be patient. I'd learned that lesson in overdoses since I'd thought I'd lost her.
I'd been in a tizzy before we left, cleaning the room that had become a veritable bachelor pad. It was my use of the power of positive thinking, envisioning her there, and I wanted everything to be just right. The place was already immaculate, but I'd found particles of dust, and I'd rearranged the furniture a hundred times, seeking an arrangement that would be more welcoming. In the end, Isabella had come in and patted my hand in comfort. She'd then proceeded to rearrange the sitting room, placing it back into exactly the arrangement in which it started, with Didyme's portrait as the focal point.
"It's okay for her to know that you gazed upon it every day, Marcus. Trust me, it will flatter her."
Sulpicia and Athenodora had helped me decorate the room years ago, so I knew it was pleasing to the eye, but the room really lacked the warmth provided by the small mementos of life. I'd been as good as dead for too long. The only thing that did make it somewhat personal was the painting, her painting, in the space above the mantel, and a few small items that Isabella had left scattered around.
The sound of the throne room door being thrown wide open brought my wandering thoughts back around. The Guard hadn't relaxed their vigilance until we moved into the castle. Our best fighters swarmed in, racing throughout the empty structure to check for any surprises or interlopers. We'd gone together, willing to concede that the next inhabitants of our home could be the Romanians if the fight had gone the other way. Unsurprisingly, they found it empty, silent as the tomb it had sometimes represented to me.
Demetri stepped in front of Aro and grinned broadly. "All clear, Master," he murmured.
He all but shivered in anticipation. The Guard was high on the thrill of the fight, and I knew as soon as Aro gave the signal, they'd grab their mates or current liaison and race for their private quarters. I'd witnessed this a thousand times over the years. This would just be the first time I had something to celebrate.
"Alice?" Aro murmured.
She was a pistol, I had to admit. I saw Demetri's eyes almost cross as she playfully rubbed her head, taking her time. She then giggled and popped her eyes open. "Nope, not a thing."
"Dear ones, thank you for your service. You're dismissed," Aro stated softly.
The word "dismissed" hadn't even left his mouth before bodies started flying. Demetri grabbed Heidi and I heard her tinkling laughter for a moment as they darted out of the room. Light blond/brown hair fell over Felix's shoulder as he snatched Jane and ran. Mates dashed hand in hand out the doors, and the single unattached ones grabbed whoever was nearest. I distinctly saw several threesomes disappearing together.
Alice shook her head, and the commotion all but drowned out her words. "But, I was going to say that has more to do with the wolves than anything."
Aro looked over to her and smiled. "I know. I just wanted to make them wait just a moment longer."
"Oh!" she said, and then smiled conspiratorially at my brother-in-law.
The Cullens were a little more sedate, but I would hazard a guess that, if the werewolves and shape shifters hadn't been present, they would've vanished along with the Guard. Their celebration would wait and be tinged, I was sure, with sadness. They would be sending the Quileute home. Lovemaking for the mated Cullens would wait for their friendships to be given adequate accord.
Isabella moved to stand before Didyme and me. Through the chaos still occurring, I saw Edward making his way toward us as well.
"Marcus, I'm sure you'll be leaving to go to the Hot Springs?" she asked.
Looking to Didyme with a question in my eyes, I answered. "I would like to." When she nodded softly, I answered in a more assured tone. "Yes, we will."
"Good! I know that you told Aro that no one should even think about visiting for a decade, but I need to say goodbye to Jake, and I don't want you leaving without my…"
I placed my fingers to her lips stopping her. "Just call me before you come, okay?"
She grinned mischievously. She then placed her hands over her eyes and said in a fake horrified voice. "Absolutely. I'm not sure I would want the visual I'd get showing up unannounced."
Didyme even chortled a little at the adorable picture she presented.
"Where will you be taking Isabella, Edward?" I asked, knowing that resourceful young man in front of me would have already planned his honeymoon in detail.
He looked to her with most likely the same expression of hopeful expectation I had Didyme. "Years ago, my father gave my mother an island as an anniversary gift. It's just off the coast of South America. With Aro's permission, I am envisioning a long, sun-filled honeymoon on the beach."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Bella yelled out in pleasure.
The look he gave her all but singed my hair. "All alone. Sun, sand, water…"
She stepped toward him on instinct, already imagining the feel of the sun and him against her skin. I cleared my throat to stop her.
"Newborn," I explained softly to Didyme in explanation, but I saw that declaration only made her eyes widen further. I had so much to tell her. I told her as much.
Isabella narrowed her eyes at me, like the fact that I'd called her a newborn was insulting, but then she shrugged. "Didyme, I imagine that having Alice's version of appropriate battle gear on isn't your version of comfortable. We're about the same size. May I escort you to my room? I'm sure that many of the dresses that my mother bought when she thought she was going to 'doll me up' might just be to your tastes."
Didyme's eyes lit in obvious pleasure at the idea. I hadn't had time to even consider obtaining her clothes, and I was immensely grateful for Isabella's intervention. I pulled her into my arms, giving her a hug of thanks. Being the boundary pusher she was, as soon as I released her, Bella linked her arm through Didyme's without any thought to my wife's previous skittishness and pulled her forward. Didyme only gasped, but she willingly went with Isabella, with only a small lost smile and large luminous eyes sent back to me. I wanted to squeeze Isabella again; she wasn't going to allow Didyme to believe she was too tainted to touch.
As the girls walked through the door and out of my sight, I slumped. I wanted to run after them, but Edward's hand stayed me. He stepped to my side and said very softly, "Marcus, let her take a shower and put on clean unsullied clothing. It will make her feel immensely better and she'll also be free of anything that reminds her of them."
"Are you reading that from her thoughts?" I whined like a child, eager for any information that would be beneficial in the conquest of my wife's fears.
He grinned but said in support, "Yes, and many other things." He nudged my shoulder in male camaraderie. "Just take it slow. She's going to be fine. She wants you as much as you want her."
The trembling overtook me for a second. I'd been attempting to keep an iron control over it, but my need blazed through for a moment. The thought of kissing her made me dizzy with need. I was like a hormonal teenager.
"Edward, how bad was it?"
When he looked down toward the floor, I knew it wasn't good.
"Marcus, just let her lead the way. She'll come out of it. I know you believe it to be worth it. You can replace every memory they ever forced on her. What they did…it wasn't making love or even sex. It was all about revenge, rage, and well…just evil. Woo her."
"Are you presuming to tell me how to romance a woman?" I teased him.
"Absolutely not…as if I could," he chuckled, before turning solemn. "Marcus, this is painful for me. I wish I didn't have the memories I have, but I do." He turned to me with solemn eyes. "You are exactly what she needs. Don't be horrified when you see the scars they left." He unknowingly raised a hand to his chest smoothing over the torn fabric there…fabric that covered ripped and healed flesh. "Cherish her exactly the way you know how to do. Shall we?" he motioned toward the door.
To utilize his own words...as if it was even a question. He held a hand up in silent acknowledgement to Carlisle. I brushed my hand across Aro's as we began to exit the room. He stopped us with a hand to my arm.
"Marcus, my love to you and Didyme both. I promise you will not be disturbed. Keep your phone charged, and I will call only if it is imperative. Whatever amount of time you need. I would like though for you to visit in the next few weeks." He stopped and stared at me with a pleading look. "I missed her as well. I understand your need to…reconnect," he smirked. "I'm not known for my patience." He paused before continuing. "However, I will try."
"That is all I can expect," I said very seriously, my lips quirking minutely.
Edward and I made our way through the halls quickly. When we approached the hallway, it was all I could do not to tear into the room. Her scent carried in the air, enhanced by the warm moist air coming from the shower. Isabella stepped into the hallway ahead of us. She carried a bag in her hands and I saw her zip it before she looked up at us.
"I'm no Alice, but I packed her a few things. I'm sure that Alice will have her wardrobe ordered in no time flat, but for now, I've supplied the important things."
"Thank you." There really wasn't much more I could say.
She handed me an outfit. "She's waiting, I'm sure. I told her that you'd bring this to her."
I gulped in nervousness, then leaned in and kissed Isabella's forehead in farewell. Edward nodded at me as I turned to walk toward the room. I turned again when I heard Isabella giggle and only a curmudgeon wouldn't smile as the two glided, hand in hand, down the hallway toward Carlisle and the others. Young love….
Turning to the door before me, the realization hit me of what awaited…rediscovered love.
My hand shook against the door. Taking a deep breath, I pushed it open and moved quickly across the sitting room to the bedroom. Placing the bag just to the side of the doorway, I moved to place the sundress across the bed, smoothing the material out. The simple yellow cotton sheath was going to beautifully contrast with her skin and dark hair.
She'd been in the shower forever, but I remembered Edward's words about her needing to rid herself of everything that reminded her of them. I wished I could erase the memories.
Moving to the closet to collect a bag, I quickly packed a few more clothes to supplement what was already stored in my room there. The sound of her feet across the carpet captured my attention and looking up my mind froze. She was wrapped in a towel…only a towel. Her dark brown hair looked black in its wetness, and it hung half way down her back. The fullness of her breasts was emphasized by the line of the towel as it draped across her, and the length of her fragile looking legs was nothing short of miraculous. What little air I had in my lungs whooshed out and Didyme jerked at the sound.
In that moment, I wanted to go back and redo what I'd done to Stefan and Vladimir. Roasting in the eternal depths of hell on earth hadn't been good enough, long enough, or tortuous enough. I just hadn't wanted to make her relive abuse in any form, even if it would have been extremely satisfying to me. Tearing them limb from limb, or placing them in the Iron Maiden would have reminded her of how she'd been treated. So would have ripping into them with my own hands, which had been my personal fantasy of retribution. What I'd done had been excruciating for them, but hopefully not anything that would spark any memories or flashbacks for her. Her well being, not my own personal need for vengeance, had come first. I calmed, knowing again that I'd done the right thing.
Holding my hands up in a show of peace, I froze.
"Please don't do that," she murmured, looking at me with her beautiful eyes.
"Do what?" my hoarse whisper responded.
"Rethink your reaction to me." She looked down at the thick carpet, her shoulders sinking in defeat. "I don't want you to treat me as broken. I know I am, but of all the individuals I know, your belief that I'm not is the most important."
Agony tore through me as her words struck home. "You are far from broken; you are the strongest person I know. I can't conceive how you survived for so long. It makes me cringe to think of how many times I begged Aro to put an end to my suffering, yet all the while you were there waiting. To think that my selfishness might have denied us the chance to be together again, even without knowing it, makes me sick. And Darling, I'm not rethinking my reaction to you; I'm attempting control it. If I had my way, we would be in that bed right now."
My eyes had to be as black as night at this moment, because I was rigid in need. The grey silk of the unused bed had never seemed more alluring. I pressed on before she would feel the need to respond to my declaration.
"However, when I am privileged enough to grace your bed again, we will not be emerging for weeks, so for now, please excuse me if I indulge in some erratic behavior."
She actually smiled at my teasing. "Marcus, have you ever been erratic? That isn't a word I would ever associate with you."
I thought for a moment. "I suppose not, but then, I was never separated from you before. My hands are shaking, Didy. I feel as nervous as I did the day I asked your father for permission to court you."
"Nervous? Why? You know me better than I even know myself." She seemed totally astounded at my statement.
"And your understanding of me is no less thorough, which means you know how distracting you are to me, standing before me unclothed. Really, Darling, some pity here, please?" My lips twitched and my hands tugged at my clothes in my agitation. I couldn't help the words that tumbled from my lips. "You are the most bewitching creature and even more beautiful today than the moment I first met you."
She stared at me with solemn eyes, assessing me. I stood still, letting her eyes wander across my face. Finally, I saw a small quirk to her lips.
"I'll get dressed," she said softly, but I could hear the warmth that had crept into her voice.
Just before she stepped back into the bathroom, I said softly, "Didyme…" she turned to me, a fearful look on her face "…the past years have been hell. The moment Alice saw you in her visions with Edward, it was if the heavens opened up and poured sunshine down upon my shriveled soul. We've been given an unimaginable gift in this new chance at life, and I plan to relish every minute of it."
"Marcus…" her voice choked out "…I will cherish every moment as well." She hurried through the door, and before I could even move, she was back again, standing as still as a statue in front of me. "Are we going to this house you spoke of?" The yellow cotton sundress swayed gracefully around her, distracting me.
"Yes, but not until nightfall. Aro will assign guard members to remain in the woods around us for protection, and honestly, I don't want to interrupt their fun."
The noises from around the castle were clear. A haunted look came back into her eyes. It was time to move.
"Will you join me in our sitting room?"
I wanted her away from the specter of the bed, even though I was quite certain they hadn't abused her solely in the context of a bedroom. Moving to the Bose system, I turned on some soft classical music before kneeling before the grate to stoke a fire. The sound of her soft exclamation caught my attention. Turning, I found her gazing at the picture above me. Embarrassment surged through me, as I knew she must know my addiction.
"Who? What? How?" She stood still and silent again. "I don't understand…" she finally settled on.
"I had it commissioned many years ago…from drawings that I made." My eyes had dropped to the floor unable to look upon her face. Would she see me as the pathetic shell of a man I'd become. Would she find me and my worship of her unworthy?
The feeling of her fingertips ghosting across my hair brought my face up quickly. She stood just a few feet from me. Had I imagined it? Had she really touched me? Slowly…go slowly.
"It is more beautiful than I could ever hope to be."
"It does not do you justice," I retorted with passion.
A glimmer of a flame appeared beneath my fingertips, and I slowly fed it bits of wood and chips coaxing it into a small fire. Only then could I place the larger pieces of wood that would generate the heat that would surround and caress us. My hand stilled again, as it had on the door before I walked into the room earlier. Wasn't that just what I needed to do with Didyme? Small pieces…to build the flame.
Rising, I smiled gently at her. "Didyme, I also need to take a shower. Will you excuse me?"
She looked slightly panicked.
"I'll just be in the bedroom." When I stepped toward the door, she moved with me almost like we were connected.
"Didyme, I'll be taking a shower." A step back was countered with a step forward.
"In the shower…" I could see she wasn't getting the idea. "Naked." The word came out hoarsely. I was imagining a shower with her in the tile and glass masterpiece that Sulpicia had masterminded.
I counted it as a victory that she didn't back away from me. She didn't follow me, but she didn't flee in fear either. It was probably the quickest shower I'd ever taken. A quick trip back into the closet elicited a chuckle from me.
"WEAR THIS!" was scrawled in Isabella's hand writing. The sign was pinned to a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.
What was she thinking? Smiling, I plucked the note off and flipped it over in my fingers.
"DON'T WEAR SHOES, EITHER," was printed on the back.
I grinned, realizing she was on to something. I would look casual and relaxed in these. I might be a mess inside, but I would look far from the men she'd been enslaved by for millennia. Grabbing a brush to run through my wet hair, I slowly walked back into the room. Didyme turned slowly toward me and it seemed almost as if she took a breath of relief. She had one of Bella's books in her hands. A look of astonishment crossed her face as she took in my appearance.
"The Mona Lisa," I explained. She arched her eyebrow at the version of her face adorning me. It was a simple black shirt with a printed version of the famous painting. "The man who created your portrait went on to paint it. It's one of the most famous paintings in the world. The shirt is Isabella's idea of a joke."
Her lips quirked, before she announced, "She has been good for you."
"She is an irreverent newborn, what can I say."
Her face twisted in curiosity. "Tell me," she breathed out, before sitting on the couch. "I want to know everything…"
Moving toward her, I lowered myself to the floor before the couch in a last minute decision. She totally controlled me, and I wanted her to know that. I was at her mercy, and she had immeasurable power in this relationship.
"May I?" she asked, pointing to the brush in my hand, and I shivered in anticipation, giving it over to her. "Lean back, Marcus," she instructed softly, and I willed every muscle in my body to be still.
I felt such exquisite pleasure when I felt her fingers pull my hair into sections. Waves of longing washed over me, softly gliding across my skin and heating me as it moved. The smell of her saturated the air around me and I breathed it in deeply, saturating my lungs and chest with it. Almost as if it was life giving blood, the scent saturated my pores and my body sucked it in as if it was nourishment. Wound after wound mended, and although I wanted her badly, in that moment I thought I could stay here forever, just feeling the pleasure of her tiny fingers preparing my hair for brushing.
Her hand was unsteady as she brought it to my crown. The long tentative stroke she provided with the brush was as gentle as a stir of the wind.
"I have missed this so much," she noted. "Your hair is like silk in my fingers." I felt her clench them a little, sinking them into the thick, damp mass.
I did attempt to control it, but I moaned anyway. I felt her still, but when I didn't move she began her ministrations again.
"Marcus?"
"Yes?"
"The stories?"
"Oh…so sorry. I was distracted," I answered honestly.
She scratched her nails across my scalp, causing me to purr out loud. This time she jumped, but didn't shy away. She wasn't ready for me to initiate anything sexual, but I could at least make a little contact. Turning slightly, I placed one of my hands to her side and turned it face up.
When I felt her fingers creep into my outstretched ones, I smiled softly and began. For the hours that it took for the day to wane, I spoke. I told her of the years just after her capture, and my and Aro's struggles. She knew most of it from the reports Vladimir and Stefan had used to taunt her, but there was quite a bit she didn't. I spoke to her of the miracle of Carlisle Cullen and how he'd saved us all. She'd stopped my history lesson at that point, when she'd asked if Aro was in love with Carlisle, and I'd hesitated for a moment.
"Irrevocably," I'd finally answered. "I would almost like to tell you 'no,' but it would be a falsehood. He hopes, of course, that with time he will wear Carlisle down, but I am not as optimistic. Carlisle loves Esme, his mate, beyond comprehension. If there is a way, though, Aro will find it."
Didyme had smiled, a true smile, at that point. "It is good that there are still a few things my brother desires that don't just fall at his feet. I like this Carlisle."
I smiled with her, agreeing. "It makes him want Carlisle more, but honestly I don't think that it would satisfy him even if Carlisle gave in. Carlisle is an obsession with Aro; he wants to possess him. But it is more…he loves him almost as much as he loves Sulpicia."
"He left?"
"Yes, in our self-righteousness, we thought we knew what was best."
We spoke of the dark times after Carlisle fled us to pursue his own way, and she asked about the Cullen's diet. I'd explained it as best as I could. She'd learned the histories of each and every guard member, including our newest additions. She was intrigued about Isabella and Edward's story, and I knew that she felt no small degree of affection for Carlisle's son. He'd saved her, plain and simple, and she knew it as well as I did.
We'd laughed softly throughout the day and moved in careful, guarded way around each other. When I rose from placing more wood on the fire, my gaze was irrevocably drawn to her face. She'd grinned seeing my eyes grow black with desire. This time she patted the space beside her on the sofa. I sat; glad to feel the heat of her radiate along my side. The mere inch that separated us was exquisite torture.
I informed her of the Volturi's business arrangements, and mentioned the things I'd been involved with…too little, I realized. We also spoke of those she'd known and that had been lost over the years.
Before long, I heard several heartbeats approaching in the corridor outside.
"Come," I said, enthusiasm infusing my voice. I blurred to my closet, throwing on some tennis shoes and quickly grabbed the bags.
Didyme stood just inside the doorframe, watching the portal across the room intently, like a cornered animal. Damn, I hadn't thought about how it would feel for her.
"Darling?" I said, capturing her attention. "They have brought you something to eat, and then they'll follow us to the chateau."
As I tore into the flesh of the human they'd provided and watched my mate do the same thing, I pondered how strange this must all seem to her. She was royalty to the men that waited on her. They treated her with respect and decorum. She actually flinched when they called her Mistress, but it was done with such respect that it was but a momentary flash of discomfort. I heard her hum as the human blood infused her, bringing a slight flush to her face.
The miles quickly passed behind us and once again she gasped at seeing the house before us. Aro had put a lot of thought into this chateau. It was beautiful, no doubt, but where the palace was cold and glittering, this house exuded warmth. Only the family and friends knew of this home, and it was here that Aro's inner nature could truly be seen. It was still exceedingly ornate and pretentious in places, but where the castle stopped at that, the chateau went further.
Aro's warmth came through wherever one looked. It was found in the simple touches that provided the hopsitality, the amazingly personal pictures, Felix's masterpieces scattered here and there, the care he'd put into each room. In a way, Aro was naked here. He allowed those that knew him to see just a small portion of the tortured soul he was. I had to admit that I almost hoped that Aro won…and that Carlisle bathed him in the golden light only he could offer. If nothing else, I hoped Carlisle stayed with us forever. Even if he never became Aro's lover, he, along with Sulpicia, would at least provide a balm to the agony and responsibilities that Aro experienced daily.
I led Didyme to the second floor and into the large suite Aro had designed for me. Here I'd had nothing to remind me of her, but I hoped that, by the time we left, I'd have enough to last forever.
"Your room…"
"Our room," I interrupted her.
She turned and smiled at me.
"Our room…" she murmured, turning back to look around. "It is beautiful."
She seemed more relaxed, and I realized that perhaps it had to do with the fact that we were the only ones here. The guard prowled the woods kilometers away, but in effect we were cocooned in our own little world. The sense of serenity this place always provided invaded my senses, and I knew she probably felt the same way.
"It is peaceful, is it not?" I offered to her.
"Immensely," she said before moving over to look at the pictures I had placed on the mantle.
Pictures were superfluous for vampires. Our memories were so perfect in recall, that I could see the events even more clearly in my mind than could ever be produced on the flimsy paper. But I was glad that I had a few as Didyme could see the snapshots of the events of our life over the last few decades.
"Didyme, I'll be but a moment," I said motioning to the door that led to our closet.
I quickly moved to the walk in space and hung my and her clothes up, taking immense joy in seeing the items Isabella had given her hanging beside mine. The long scarlet silk robe caught my attention as my imagination raced, but my hands stilled when I reached into the bag and drew out a simple one piece bathing suit. It was absolutely prudish in comparison to what I'd witnessed being worn…and not worn…in this house…but it was erotic to me. Would I be able to control myself if I saw her in this? My body hardened at even the thought. Fantasies of making love to her rushed through my mind.
"Marcus?" her voice startled me, and I spun around to face her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," she said softly, taking in my startled gaze. She then cracked a smile. "What had you so preoccupied, my Heart?"
I was speechless, still lost in my passion fueled delirium. She moved slowly toward me and knelt to pluck the fabric from my hand.
"What is this?" she held up the material looking at it from every direction.
"It is a bathing suit." My voice came out harshly. "Aro harnessed the hot springs in the area and there is a large pool on the first floor. It is customary when in the presence of others to wear a suit into the water."
"We used to go swimming naked, Marcus," she said softly, almost in an accusatory manner.
I couldn't tell whether or not she was upset, angry, or scared. We'd always practiced total honesty, and one of the strengths of our relationship had been our ability to always discuss everything without fear of recrimination. I would not change that now.
"I would go swimming naked with you in a blink of an eye, Didyme. I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells here, not knowing what is acceptable to discuss, expect, or hope. I want to touch you, to feel my lips on you…to make love to you. But more importantly, I want you to know how much I cherish you. I will wait as long as it takes, Didy." I raised my hands to her, holding them palm up. "When I am allowed to touch you, I don't want you to feel their hands instead."
She looked at me with wide eyes.
"Carlisle's daughter, Rosalie…she was raped. She was dying in the streets when Carlisle found her and changed her. She came to me and shared how the experience made her feel." I could still see the sincerity written across her face as she spoke about Didyme's possible reactions. "It is ironic, really, because I would never have expected her to approach me. She's been quiet, really, but when Alice told us what she saw, she sought me out to disclose her history with me. She didn't find her mate, Emmett, until several years later, but she shared that, even then, his touch, although totally different from theirs, could generate flashbacks if he went too fast or did something that was reminiscent of them. She suggested that I allow you to take the lead. She said it would be much worse for you than her, because at least some of her memories were erased by her change."
I watched to see how she would accept my words.
"Why would you even want to touch me, Marcus? I'm soiled now…"
I hissed at her. It was instinctual, and I couldn't help it. She hissed back, which I thought was a positive really.
"I don't care what lies they told you or what they did to make you believe it, Didyme. It would not matter if you'd had to…" I struggled with the next word "…sleep with a million men since then. You are still my mate, and my other half. There is nothing that will change that. Nothing…"
She sank down to sit fully on the floor beside me.
"Did you feel disgust coming from me when you kissed me below the castle, Didyme? Or did you feel the passion I felt, the desire of a thousand years without you that has built up within me? Did you feel disgust, or did you feel love and need when your lips touched mine?"
"Love so pure that it hurt."
"Exactly. What happened with them, happened with them. I am me, and I am your husband, and I love you." She startled when I told her I loved her. She had to know that hadn't changed. "That is all that matters." I'd done my best to infuse my voice with all the love, desire, and hope I felt.
Rosalie had told me to attempt to get her to cry…to let it all out. She'd attempted to keep it in, she explained, and had railed at Carlisle, Esme, and Edward as a result. Until Emmett had gotten her to that point, she'd been unable to start healing.
It worked.
Didyme's hands blurred to her eyes and she began to choke with sobs that were held fast within her; human grief trapped forever behind the frozen façade of a vampire. Damn! I wanted to wrap her in my arms, but I didn't know if she would allow it. Her body trembled and my stress increased exponentially with not being able to comfort her.
"Didy! I need to hold you…may I?"
The only answer I received was a single gasp that was louder than the others, so I risked everything. I placed my fingertips gently to her shoulders and when she didn't flinch, I moved slowly and gently to pull her into my arms. Inch by inch I was able to pull her shaking body onto my lap, and when she finally felt my arms surround her, it was as if a string snapped…she collapsed against me, her head lolling to my chest.
Cooing to her, I rose, pulling her into my arms and moved into the sitting area. Lowering into one of the overstuffed chairs, I pulled the thick blanket from the back and wrapped it around her, tucking the edges around us. For hours I sat with her, comforting her as she mourned. At some point I began humming, an old ballad that had been a song of our people. She'd allowed me to caress her hair and I softly combed through it with my fingers and massaged her scalp gently.
Finally, she began to settle, the sobs coming farther and farther apart. Wanting to soothe her, I increased the pressure of my fingertips against her scalp, dragging my fingers through her hair with a slight tug. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the chair allowing myself to enjoy the feel of her against me and the slide of the silk of her hair through my fingers. The blanket felt comforting as if it enclosed us in its embrace. Sounds of the night filtered to us increasing the calming ambiance, and I smiled slightly as I heard several birds screech as they found the interlopers in their forest. The air of hesitant hope was thick, and I relished feeling it seep into my psyche.
Finally, Didyme softly rubbed her cheek against my shoulder causing me to smile. It was a familiar touch, one she'd done a million times in the past. My dead heart thrilled at the long lost feeling of contentment, that all was once again right in a world that I had thought irrevocably shattered.
Reaching over to the side table for the control, I turned on the surround sound, filling the room with soothing music. I hadn't thought to build a fire here, but I wasn't about to move. I was enjoying the feel of her pressed against me too much to even contemplate it. Reality hit me and I smiled broadly. Didyme was alive and clinging to my side. We were safe and our worst enemies had just been destroyed. The only way it could be better would be if I was making love to her.
"What is that smile for?" she asked quizzically, and I realized how unfeeling it might look for me to be smiling at a time like this.
"I am counting my blessings, actually."
A quick tug at my hair elicited a yelp. I opened my eyes in astonishment to see her looking up at me intently.
"Share!" she demanded, and I wanted to break out in laughter. Here was my Didyme…so bossy.
I decided to address the most difficult thing first. "I was given the pleasure of destroying Stefan and Vladimir…" she stiffened slightly "…and with the destruction of their armies and fortress and the message it sent, I would guess we've insured ourselves many decades of peace before another threat arises. To some degree, Aro is as happy as I am which means that Caius will be satisfied as well. Carlisle and his family are here with us, and I suspect that they will be so entrenched in our lives that, once their time of servitude is over, they will stay. Most importantly…I have you in my arms. It is surreal, to know that you are here with me in the flesh. I'd created my own little fantasy world by which to survive and of course you accompanied me in that fantasy, but you are really here…" I left off unable to really describe my sense of happiness.
No more Chelsea having to follow me around and bind me with her powers. In fact, I realized, she hadn't been with me for weeks. Since we'd found out that Didyme still existed. It was time that she be able to have undivided time with Afton.
"Didyme, actually, I am just at a loss for words. Blissful, delighted, ecstatic, exultant…they all just seem inadequate for what I'm feeling." I squeezed her lightly, but quickly not even giving her the chance to feel threatened.
I closed my eyes and leaned back against the chair again, slowly blowing the air in my lungs out. "I keep waiting for someone to pinch me and for me to wake up and discover that I am the first vampire in history to sleep…and that this is all just a dream."
I roared as pain lanced through my side, and I sat up. The little minx…she'd pinched me. She giggled at the look on my face, which I was sure was astonishment.
"Wake up!" she snorted out.
My astonishment gave way to laughter, clear gut wrenching, soul-healing laughter. I was thrilled when her giggles joined mine and turned into soft but true laughter as well. I hugged her again, and quickly kissed her head before rubbing at my eyes.
I froze, though, when I felt her lips against mine. Gasping, my mouth opened to draw in a deep breath and she took advantage of it, her tongue timidly sweeping into my mouth. I clenched my hands down onto the arms of the chair, afraid that if I grabbed her she would feel cornered. I heard the chair groan, the wood stressed to a point of shattering. That was the last rational thought I had, though, as the taste of her invaded my mouth. Pleasure and desired raced through me, tightening every inch of my skin in anticipation.
She touched the tip of her tongue to mine and I stroked against her softly. She gasped, pulling back for a moment. Opening my eyes, I saw a black eyed temptress. Her trembling fingers touched her lips as if she was confused about the sensations. Taking another quick breath, she lowered her hand and jerked her eyes to mine before leaning forward again. She stopped to where her lips were but a hairbreadth from me. Something had changed in her face. Determination? Wanting? Or maybe a combination of the two.
"Marcus, put your hands on my hips."
"But…"
"Il mio amore, they held me by my hair or my arms. If it gets to be too much, I promise to let you know, but the feel of you on my lips…" she shuddered and I was hoping it was in desire "…I want that. I need that. I don't want to go another day with the feel of them being the last thing I know. Rosalie was right; being touched by you is different. I know it, and my body knows it. Make love to me," she begged.
What man, faced with those words from his wife, wouldn't respond?
Closing the hairbreadth between us, I placed my lips on hers and savored the taste of her venom mixing with mine. Softly at first, our tongues mated, but when she grasped my hands and placed them on her hips as she'd directed, I deepened the kiss significantly, pulling her around to straddle me. She was still in control this way and able to manipulate us in a way to make her comfortable. The taste of her drove me wild, and I pressed against her again wanting to ravish her.
Moving one of my hands to the back of her head, I touched her tentatively making sure not to cinch her by her hair. Knowing what I knew now, I wondered how she'd allowed me to run my fingers through it earlier. I stilled when I touched her, waiting for her to decide if it was comfortable or not. I hadn't forgotten the little whimpers she made when she enjoyed something…they'd haunted me for a thousand years. When I was rewarded by the slight mewl, I used slight pressure to turn her head slightly in order to gain better access to her mouth. Freezing again, I waited for a signal. This time she responded with a needy growl and plunged her tongue against mine in demand. The kiss turned frantic, each of us fighting for control and interspersing the plundering with quick nips and kisses to the lips. I devoured her while my body throbbed in anticipation. There was no way she could miss how I was reacting to the passion between us, but she hadn't panicked yet. I grabbed her bottom lip in my teeth and hissed through my lips, needing a moment; otherwise, I was afraid my feral nature was going to surface and I'd lose control.
She threaded her fingers through my hair and tugged hard while at the same time rotating her hips against me, encouraging me.
Biting first into the plumpness of her lower lips I broke away and begged, "A moment, please."
She moaned against me, breathing into my neck. The feel of her tongue sliding across my jaw line like wet warm velvet sent my senses on overload. My fingers curled into her hip and I rubbed her along my length. The cotton of the sundress had ridden up her legs and I could feel her wetness soaking through the denim of the jeans I was wearing. She hummed against my neck and the vibrations sent spikes of lust racing along my skin. I capture her lips again and then murmured against them, "Darling, you have to let me slow down."
"Mmm…" she murmured against me.
"Didyme, love…"
"Hmm?"
"May I move us to the bed?"
She froze.
"We don't have to," I hastened to reassure her.
"No, it's not that." She hung her head drawing away from me, her hair falling to cover her face.
I moved my fingertips to her jawline and brushed them across her skin, pushing against the waterfall of her hair in an attempt to reveal her beautiful face. I was fighting a losing battle against the thick dark silk.
"Please don't hide from me," I finally begged, bending down to capture her eyes. "Just tell me," I pleaded.
"The scars…"
"What scars?" I responded quickly. Unconsciously, she brushed her hand across her stomach. I was betting they'd marked her on the back as well. "All I see is badges of honor."
Her eyes jumped to mine. "Marcus, I…" she began, obviously nervous and ashamed.
I took another chance and rose from the chair, cradling her to me. Stepping toward the bed, I slowly lowered her to the floor. Bending, I fused our lips together again, and I thrilled to feel her press herself against me in an uninhibited manner. Slowly, I edged my lips to the corner of her mouth and then to her jaw. Her smell was driving me crazy, and it was concentrated where her pulse points would be if she was human. I moved slowly wanting to give her time to stop me. Her taste was intoxicating…like fine cognac – well if I'd been human. Didyme was my fine wine.
My lips reached the curve of her neck, and I grabbed the thin strap of her yellow sundress with my teeth and snipped it. As the strap fell, I slowly kissed my way across the fragile looking bones of her clavicle, drinking in the essence that was Didyme.
"So beautiful," I murmured against her skin, feeling her shiver against me. "Are you alright?" I said, stopping quickly.
"Yes," she purred against me.
"Good," I growled against her, and nipped her skin lightly just before taking the other strap into my teeth. She jumped slightly, but then her hands threaded through my hair and clenched tightly. A snarl ripped out of me, and she froze.
Releasing the strap, I murmured against her skin. "Love, you know how much I love that. I won't hurt you, I promise. "
Keeping my lips pressed to the skin of her shoulder, I remained still while she relaxed. Relaxing for me was impossible. My body hummed, I ached, and I knew that the scent leaking from me filled the air. I wanted to plunge into her, to feel the warmth of her walls wrap around me, to hear her cry out my name as I emptied within her…but I couldn't…not yet.
Patience…
"I'm fine," she murmured finally, and then her hand pulled against my hair again.
I sucked her skin in, running my tongue against it. Her taste…it was like nothing I could ever describe. She was absolutely mouthwatering and designed to drive me to the edge of insanity with lust. I could never get enough of her. What I wanted most was to lick the wetness dripping from between her legs, but I didn't know how long it would before she would allow me such intimacies.
I caught the remaining strap with my fingers after cutting through it like butter with my teeth. I rose to stand straight so that I could look down into her eyes. I saw the slight widening of them as I released the fabric. I knew the cotton would fall from her body, as did she. A million ideas of what she did or did not wear underneath it ran through my mind, but I didn't move my eyes from hers. They widened, narrowed, then went black, and finally faded back to red. She couldn't hide the struggle she was experiencing, and I attempted to soothe her by brushing the pad of my thumb across her full bottom lip. It was my turn to jump when she nipped me. Her eyes flared as she did it.
"Minx!" I murmured, smiling slightly at her.
Stepping back, I gave her a few moments to stop me before I looked down. When her eyes softened, I knew I had her permission. What I saw took my breath away. Her breasts were exactly as I remembered them, high and perfect. The coral tips of her nipples pebbled under my gaze, and my mouth watered to think of tasting them…of taking her into my mouth. But what I saw next made me covet her more. Scars crisscrossed her lean stomach…haphazard lines as if someone had been bored and slashed at a piece of paper in monotony. Falling to my knees in agony, I spread my hands out in front of her, just a slight inch from her skin. I glanced up to her face and found her standing rigid with her eyes closed.
"Didyme!" I said sharply causing her eyes to pop open.
Keeping my eyes locked to hers again, I used my fingertips to trace over the patterns smoothing across them. Slowly, I lowered my lips to her stomach, waiting for her to stop me. Using the tip of my nose, I traced the lines and kissed as I went. The muscles of her stomach clenched beneath me, and I heard her gasps of pleasure. My hands found purchase on her hips holding her steady, and she in turn moved her hands to my shoulders, still clenching strands of my long hair in her fingers.
She groaned when I moved lower, and I growled out in need, smelling her unique scent. The heated smell of her sex was intoxicating, and I wanted to run my tongue through her folds. Instead, I laid my cheek against the soft skin of her stomach and breathed deeply for a moment, pulling her aroma in. My hands made their way to her toned behind, squeezing handfuls of her flesh and causing her to buck into me. I'd kissed every inch of her stomach covering the gruesome artwork with my venom, wiping away any trace of their touch. I could taste the slight residue of the soap she's scrubbed with along with her essence, but nothing of them…thank the gods.
The scrap of saffron silk underwear that Isabella had provided for her inflamed me. I wanted to give it the appropriate attention it deserved, but more, I wanted to tear it from her. I moved my fingers to grasp the edges, pulling the handmade silk across the silk of her skin. Her skin was softer…there was no comparison. Easing the underwear to her ankles, I delicately picked up one foot, then the other, moving the underwear over her dainty feet before bringing it to my nose and inhaling deeply. She'd saturated the material and the concentration of heady scent had me lowering one of my hands to the floor and pawing at it like a bull in heat. I did not give in, though. Didyme was tolerating the feel of my cheek against her, and I wasn't going to let her have a respite.
I drug my tongue back across her stomach as I rose and finally reached the soft under side of her breast. She arched, begging me silently, and when I closed my lips over one nipple, she screamed my name out, collapsing into my arms. Blurring around, I pulled us onto the bed and lowered her down, taking care not to press my weight onto her. Nipping her slightly I released her to take an uninterrupted look.
Her dark hair and black eyes were a perfect contrast to the cream of her skin and red of her lips. Perfectly proportioned with heavy breasts, slim waist, and full hips, her body contrasted against the cool sand color of the bedspread below us. My venom glistened on the nipple I'd been adoring and the moisture leaking from her body in preparation for me made the curls between her legs appear almost black. She didn't attempt to cover herself up now and for that I was grateful. It was the first step in getting back to the woman who'd given as good as she'd gotten in our bed.
Heaven was spread out before me as the love of my life, the reason for my existence, lay splayed out before me in abandon. Slowly, she brought her hand to my hair and used the strength she had to pull my face closer to hers. She whispered against my lips, "I'm not a fragile doll that will be broken, Marcus. Help me remember who I am."
My T-shirt disappeared in a soft movement of her hands, and when her fingers spanned across my chest, I was lost…
Didyme POV
Marcus' eyes flared when I smoothed my fingertips across the skin of his chest. It both excited and scared me all at the same time. On one part, his touch did spark memories of those bastards, because no one else had been allowed to touch me for a thousand years, and it was hard not to associate any contact with fear and pain. Edward had, of course, but only in a consoling fashion, and even that had been difficult. Marcus' touch was a combination of reverence, consolation, and passion. He was admirably attempting to keep the lust from overwhelming him, but it was obvious. The scared victim inside of me cringed at what his fervor promised, but the mate within me rose quickly, jockeying for her position in authority over the sniveling coward. The mate wanted him to be feral and take me. The victim wanted to cry and hide…from his touch, my need, and the realization that he saw how ugly I was now…having been their unwilling canvas.
But the third entity within me…the woman…well, she seemed to be winning. She didn't want to hide, and was bargaining with the mate to leave the feral fun until after the first time.
Let him make love to us,she screamed at the two other Didyme's.
See? I thought to myself. You are crazy, just like they said…talking about yourself in the third person and about three distinct persons. FUCK YOU! I shouted back at the disappearing internal visages of Stefan and Vladimir. You won't win!
Steeling myself, I reached for Marcus' arms and dragged him on top of me. I silently chanted the words again that I'd just thrown at him. Help me remember who I am.
Surely, if anything would encourage the memories to terrorize me, it would be this, to be pushed down into the bed by a vampire who could easily overpower me. The fear rose immediately as I felt him engorged and settling between my thighs, hitting my aching, wet core. NO! I shouted at myself, funneling the fear into lust. They are not going to win. As if he heard my internal debate, Marcus broke away from my lips and lifted to his elbows to look down into my face.
"Darling, slow down. We aren't in a race."
He smiled softly, even though his face was harsh in his need. I also noticed that he hadn't risen far enough to take his hips off mine and in fact had pushed himself into me harder by assuming that position. The ache increased tenfold, and I moved against him, seeking relief. The denim of his jeans caressed at my impervious skin delightfully.
"I know," I swore out, "but I want you now. Marcus, it has been too long, and I need…"
I didn't finish the sentence because he'd bent his head to take my nipple in his mouth again. The brush of his long hair against my sides and the rough feel of his tongue across the taut bud was exactly what I needed. Thank the gods that the Romanians had had short hair. The feel of silk across my skin was something I only associated with my husband…and it was the key to it all. Arching into him to increase the pressure against my clit, I began begging.
"Please, beloved, I need to feel your skin against me."
He lifted up, allowing me to reach down and unsnap his jeans. I pushed roughly at the material, capturing the boxers underneath. For a moment humor washed over me. The last time I'd undressed him had definitely been a different experience. Who would imagine Marcus in jeans and boxers? But the T-shirt, that was a definite keeper, which is why I'd been careful with it. I wasn't so much with the jeans and I heard the telltale ripping sound. I reached up with the toes of one of my feet and snagged the material. I felt him moving slightly and realized as I heard the thuds on the floor that he'd toed off his shoes.
I hummed in pleasure when I felt his skin against mine. I felt him twitch and I cried out as he rubbed against me, hitting my clit. Pleasure washed over me, pleasure the like I hadn't felt since the last time he touched me. He tugged another time before releasing my nipple to kiss across to the other.
"Please!" I begged again and he shushed me just before cradling my other breast with his hand and rubbing his cheek across me.
"So sweet. I have dreamed of touching and tasting you for so long. Please allow me the honor for as long as I can hold out," he murmured, before licking the engorged tip and taking it in between his teeth delicately.
I shuddered and twisted, rubbing against him. This time he moaned as his tip slid through the wetness of my lips and he hit my tight nub. His teeth were instantly at my neck, pinning me. If I couldn't have felt his hair, it would have been too much. I'd been held this way, but my body knew better and his instinctual need to possess and control me was welcome…and needed.
Need so great that I wanted to cry took over. I had to have him, to feel him in me, stretching me, and completing me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and moved to glide him into me. I was in pain; pain that only he could fix.
"Stop!" he ordered, ripping his teeth from me, and coming to his knees. "I want you panting for me first," he said seductively looking down at me.
Wasn't I already?
He was glorious. His black hair looked wild, having been destroyed at my hands. His eyes were black with desire, and I saw his nostrils flare as our combined scents hit him. My eyes wandered down his chest looking at the carved muscles and continued to follow down his stomach to where his manhood rose impressively from the dark hair of his groin. Pushing to my elbows, I reached out to trace my finger up his length, following the ridges of the butter soft skin. I brushed across the tip gathering the moisture there and he growled when he realized that I was bringing it to my lips. It almost broke him when I popped the coated finger into mouth. His body lunged slightly before he caught himself. I smiled wickedly, enjoying the control I had over him.
He returned my smile with a fiendish look of his own and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head as to how he was going to torture me. Torture in all the right ways.
His eyes traveled up me, and I could see when he came to the particular parts he liked by the widening and darkening of his eyes. A playful look broke across face, and he turned to capture one of my legs, bringing the ankle to his mouth. Slow exquisite torture began as his lips traveled up my leg and across my knee. He nipped at the sensitive skin there, paying particular homage to it. He hadn't forgotten how incredibly erotic that was for me and my moans of appreciation filled the air around us.
"Marcus!" I hissed as he drove me all but mad.
He chuckled darkly before beginning his traverse up my leg again. I held my breath anticipating the kiss of his lips, and a scream was torn from me as I felt the velvet of his tongue lick between my legs, spreading my lips so that his tongue could spear into my core. The throbbing pain there spiraled into the deepest pleasure as he moved my legs to spread me further. Wave after wave of heat built as he continued to lick the moisture from me and tantalize me by flicking his tongue in and out. Guttural sounds of pleasure began to escape and I was incapable of anything further. I heard his answering call and I felt the muscles in my stomach tense as everything within me centered upon the feel of his tongue making love to me. It had been too long and I needed him too much in all the ways possible.
My muscles clenched as I began to come hard against his face. I lost control of my body and it twisted harshly. Hearing the animalistic growls and snarls coming from above me didn't scare me this time and only made my orgasm harder as I realized what my reaction was doing to him. I felt the pressure as he entered me and my eyes rolled back in my head in further pleasure, feeling him fill me. My walls clamped down upon him, tightening mercilessly, and a smaller second wave of spasms fluttered against him causing him to swear out. I whispered his name while rocking into him.
"My love, my love," he chanted against my throat in an emotional voice. He trembled against me, and I moved his head to capture his lips joining us in another way.
Completion… I was whole again.
Finally, he began to move, and the push and pull of him in me healed a million scars. There was no fear, and no memories of ghosts. The evils of the time with them disappeared, eclipsed by the beauty of the man above me…worshiping me. The beginning of the healing blossomed deep within.
His tongue pulled at mine as his hands wrapped around my hips. I moaned into his mouth and moved my legs to circle his hips. The change in angle caused him to hit deeper within me. Breaking away from my lips, his harsh breaths panted against me and he muttered my name, words of love, lust, and promise. The muscles in his throat worked as he fought to restrain his release, and I could tell he was holding back, wanting me to come around him again. When the fingers of one of his hands crept in between us to feather over me, I obliged. He cried out, feeling my walls milk him. Growling in satisfaction, he crashed into me and shot thick streams deep inside me. Our bodies moved together like a synchronized dance, riding out the following waves as we played out our ecstasy.
Finally, Marcus lowered onto me and then jerked as he realized he was pressing me into the mattress. I wrapped my arms around him to keep him from pulling away.
"Marcus, I love you," I whispered into his hair. My voice was unsteady from the force of my passion and the emotions that overwhelmed me. So perfect…it had been so perfect.
"As I love you," he said, pushing up on his elbow to look at me. He brushed his fingers across my face, tracing the planes of my cheekbones gently. "There are no words to adequately tell you how much you mean to me." A sob broke through his calm and he closed his eyes momentarily to regain control. Then he looked to me and smiled sweetly. "Are you alright?" he said, starting to move.
"No…" I cinched tightly around him. "Please, stay here, surrounding me. I've never felt more cherished and loved than I do in this moment. There is no fear…"
"My love, this is just the beginning. We have forever," he said with a twinkle in his eye, promising many more moments such as this.
I smiled, realizing just how true that was. No more pain and separation. No more taunts and threats against him. No more wondering if he'd finally moved on and forgotten me. No more fear that if I did find him that he'd be disgusted at what I'd become. Unlike Narcissus, for who I'd been cruelly renamed, I wouldn't have to die pining for a lost love. My love had found me again, and in doing so saved me from my numb half-existence. Forever…
I nuzzled at his ear. "Yes…yes we do."
A/N: I am not a survivor of sexual assault, but I have worked with many victims in the past. I am aware that Didyme's actions might be considered out of character for a sexual assault victim, but I am going to claim a little artistic license. We are talking about vampire mates who have been separated for a thousand years, and who share a bond that Ms. Meyer's describes as being stronger than anything a human can conceive.
Would love to know what you think. Jacob and Eve next.
I am privileged to have crmcneill as a beta – even when he drives me crazy. Many, many thanks Master.