January 1

BANG!

I jolted awake and shot up arming myself with my pen in alarm. I looked around and saw there was no intruder. I looked on the ground and saw my notebook and textbook on the ground. I leaned over and picked them up, tossing them onto the coffee table. I rubbed my face and got up, making my way to the kitchen. I grabbed the coffee pot and made a cup of coffee. I should have figured it was bad, I didn't remember when I had made it. I took a sip and made a face of disgust. I poured the cup down the drain and did the same to the pot. I leaned against the kitchen counter before letting out a huff and looked at the time. Three in the morning, I sighed and grabbed a wine glass and grabbed a bottle of wine. I poured myself a small glass and sipped at it gently. "It's five o'clock somewhere." I took my glass with the bottle and made my way back to my spot on the couch. I looked at my research and groaned thinking why I was doing this? Who the hell drinks wine at three in the morning?

"Someone who clearly has alcoholism," a voice said. I turned to see Irena leaning against the entrance to the living room.

I sighed. "I didn't hear you come in," I said as I stared down at my wine.

"You don't pay attention to a lot of things anymore," she said defensively. I slightly winced at her tone.

"How was your night?" I asked.

"It was fine. The Team took down Clayface and discovered that one of congressmen was actually an alien who was wanted by an intergalactic bounty hunter," she said with a shrug of her shoulder, "It was very eventful for a New Year's."

"You were kept busy," I agreed, "No civilians got hurt?"

She shook her head, "No injuries." She came over and sat down on the coffee table, "Carter, what the hell are you doing?"

"Doing some reading for work, it takes forever for—"

"Forever for the doctors and experts to get back to you," she said cutting me off. "I'm not talking about that, I am talking about you. When was the last time you did anything but work? Talked to anyone but me and your coworkers."

"I don't talk to my coworkers. They've learned, I'm not a social butterfly."

She sighed. "That doesn't help your case, Carter. Connor misses you, he's concerned. Everyone on the Team is concerned. Artemis keeps texting me to see how you are doing because you stopped answering hers."

I shrugged, "I turned my phone off."

"Since when?"

I shrugged, "Sometime last week. It just kept ringing and I-" I huffed in frustration. "I don't have the capacity to be nice at the moment."

"Carter, you need interaction," Irena said, "Social interaction and not just with me. We all miss you, ever since he left and you haven't been yourself."

"Irena, I'm trying."

"Drinking wine at three in the morning is not trying, Carter," she yelled, "It's pathetic."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not as resilient as you, Irena," I snapped slamming my wine glass to the coffee table shattering it. "I'm sorry I can't handle stress like you. I'm sorry, I couldn't make it through to the Justice League like everyone else expected me too. I'm sorry for being a failure and failing to reach everyone's expectations."

She looked at me with sorrow and looked at my hands. With blurry eyes I looked at them and saw I cut my right hand when I slammed the wine glass onto the table. I got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a rag and the trash can to clean up the mess.

"Carter, let me—"

"I've got it," I said whipping my eyes, "It's my mess, I need to clean it up." I began to clean up the mess. "Go get some sleep, you had a long night. I'm going to finish this and get ready for work."

I got to my lab and got to work. The best work I'm able to do is when I am alone there…and no one is there at five in the morning. I set some specimens up for staining and further testing. The lab phone rang. I looked at the time and sighed. I took off my gloves and threw them in the trash. "What, Wally?"

"Oh look, you do remember how to use a phone," He remarked.

"I do, I remember how to hang one up too," I commented. "Don't call unless there is an actual emergency." I slammed the phone down in the receiver. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back. I took a few minutes before turning back to my work.

I did my hours, left early, and made my way to my bunker nearby. When I moved here, I decided that it would be to risky to have any weapons or training gear in a house with far too many windows for the neighbors to be able to see anything. So I found this small closed dancing studio with an upstairs windowless storage area just a few blocks away from the zeta tube. It's building door that I used in the back of the building operated by a key and fingerprint door knob before opening to a zeta sensor that would only allow me into the second door. The windows and door in front were, tinted, boarded, and had a metal wall I had placed for security. The brick wall of the building were insulated and covered with a metal sheet for structural security. I changed out of my work clothes and dressed in high impact leggings, a sports bra, and a t-shirt. I grabbed three balls of differing metal and laid them in the holder of the tread mill. I started the tread mill and built up the 3.5 mph before summoning the balls and revolving them around me. Manipulating them into discs and other shapes as the revolved around me like the planets around the sun. Stay in control.

January 3

Recognized Blue Raven B04

A couple weeks after he left, I dropped out of the Team, I felt I had no choice. Batman and Black Canary approached me soon after with the offer to help out with the forensics and testing of items that the Team and the League collects. I accepted because you can't argue with the head bat….or my mother. I come every other week or when their work load gets too heavy. Tonight though, I just needed to be in a lab and do my task by myself. Work had me angry and wound tighter than I thought it could. They stuck with me with a new hire that has the grace in lab of a tornado. Slide of tissue samples prepped and stained and stored for preservation, destroyed in a second. I had to leave the lab for an extended lunch and demanded he not be in my lab for his safety. Weeks of work and physical proof of progress useless. I was so angry and annoyed that I completely missed a group of people in the mission room.

"Carter," a familiar female voice called. I turned to see a familiar green face smiling at me. They were having a meeting and I was interrupting.

"Miss M," I greeted with a smile. "I'm sorry for the interruption, I was too distracted I honestly didn't even register anyone was in the room. Everyone, Doctor Strange."

"Do I know you?" He asked confused.

"No, I've just read your work and your picture was displayed with article published the September 2009 issue of American Physic's Society," I said with a shrug. "I'm not a fan girl or anything, I have an eidetic memory."

"Eidetic memory, really?" he asked a hint of impressed.

I grimaced. "It has it's moments. Is there anything wrong with the zeta tubes?"

"He's here to discuss another topic," Captain Atom said glaring at me.

"Ahh," I comment. "Sorry for the interruption, Captain." I glanced at the screen. "I hope it has nothing to do with Kroloteans."

"You know about Kroloteans?" John Stewart asked me.

I shrugged. "I'm no expert just the basics. Pack travelers, thieves, a common pain to any planet they colonize. Love to steal technology, since they aren't capable of making their own," I listed off the summary of my ancestors journal entry. The author told of how she aided the creation of their beginnings. "Primitive language of clicking and grunts."

"You can understand them?" Batman said.

I shook my head, "No, I haven't encountered them personally to learn it. I can maybe make out a few words but I couldn't confidently translate." Batman gave a nod.

I gave a slight nod at the group, "Sorry for the interruption. Let me know if I can be of any help. There's bound to be close to a few hundred of Kroloteans if they have been here for long."

"She is possibly right," Dr Strange said as he dug in his pocket. "Sardath detected transmissions between a single location on Raan to multiple locations on Earth. He was attempting to trace those when he accidently transported me to Raan. He gave me this." He pulled a teal oval shape whose two tops opened to reveal a holographic image of Earth with multiple locations pinned. "It detects trace zeta radiation and can pinpoint all the locations where Kroloteans have beamed to Earth"

"Then I'm ordering a two pronged attack." Captain Adam announced. "We'll stage simultaneous raids on every Krolotean target on Earth. While a contingent of Leaguers travel's to Raan to cut the Kroloteans off at the source."

Doctor Strange cleared his throat. "Umm we might have a problem with that second prone. Totally unsure of the why but Earthlings are persona non grata in Raan's corner of the galaxy," he said and he manipulated the sphere to display wanted posters of several Leaguers. "And these six Leaguers are wanted criminals."

"The missing time," I muttered as my eyes widened.

"Batman, it's the missing sixteen hours," Nightwing exclaimed. I suppressed an eye roll at his dramatics.

"Agreed. Five years ago, Vandal Savage took complete mental control of the entire Justice League," Batman explained to Doctor Strange. "These exact six Leaguers went missing for sixteen hours."

"It never even occurred to us that Vandal might of sent us into space," John Stewart said. "I'll alert, Hal. He and Guy are on Oha with the Green Lantern Corp."

"Meanwhile, we have fifteen other active Leaguers to send to Raan to investigate," Captain Adam pointed out.

"You don't get it," Doctor Strange stressed. "There's a planetary watch alert for every Leaguer."

"Not all of us are Leaguers," Nightwing pointed out. "I can send a squad to handle the Raan end of things. And to find out more about those missing sixteen hours without causing an intergalactic incident."

Captain Adam nodded. "Do it."

Nightwing, Miss Martian, and Superboy began to walk away. Doctor Strange pointed at Superboy. "If you're going I wouldn't wear that shirt."

I walked toward Nightwing. "You want me on this?"

"Do you think you are actually able to do this?" Nightwing asked.

I rolled my eyes, before answering him in Romanian. "If she isn't here I won't have to worry. I've stayed in shape." I said with a shoulder shrug and a sneer playing my part. "Besides if you don't want me to be with anyone on your precious Team, I'll go solo. I'm used to it these days."

"Then show up to the cave tomorrow night for 8."

I nodded and turned away from the group and walked to the elevator. I enter the lab and placed my white coat on and placed goggles over my eyes. Connor showed up at the door of the lab about thirty minutes later. "If you are here to talk about my being a loner, don't waste the Watchtower's regenerated oxygen," I said as I turned to him with a test tube and beaker in each hand and gave him a look. "Irena already beat you to it. Wally's was cut short."

He just shrugged at me and approached me, stopping at my side. "You haven't been around a lot," he pointed out.

I sighed, "Connor," I sighed. "What did I just say." He stayed silent but I felt his stare. "It's hard, Connor. I can't be near things that remind me of him." M'gann would find out.

He stood there for a moment and stayed quiet watching me as I worked. I put the beaker on the warmer and turned to him. "You look tense," I said as I took him in. "Even for you, what's the matter?"

"I'm going on mission, off world,"

I sighed, "Is it dangerous?"

He shrugged, "Who knows, we are going to investigate Kroloteans stealing tech from Strange's friend on planet Raan."

"We?" I asked with a raised eyebrow already having an idea.

"Beast Boy," he answered but the air said more.

"And Miss Martian?" I asked. "Look I know what she did—"

"Don't start," he said his fists clenched.

I sighed. I wasn't the only one dealing with emotional triggering. "Just promise me you'll be careful, please," I said in a silent plea. He nodded.

January 4

The zeta tube announced my arrival to the cave and I got a welcome I wasn't expecting. Before I was even in the middle of the room, a large white fur covered animal tackled me to the ground and licked my face.

"Bleh! Wolf! Come on that was my mouth!" I protested with a smile on my face. He stopped and looked at me giving me an innocent look. "Yeah, yeah, I missed you too, you giant fur ball." He gave me one last like and moved off of me letting me get up.

"Hey," Irena said, "I would have waited for you if I knew you were coming."

I shrugged. "I didn't see you before school." I continued rubbing the area of fur behind Wolf's neck between his shoulder blades, growled softly as he leaned into my touch. I turned to see the newer members of the team that had got on before I had my unplanned sabbatical. "How are you guys doing?" I asked as Robin, Blue Beetle, and Lagoon Boy got closer.

Robin shrugged, "It's an adjustment."

I give him a small smile. "It always is," I said with a shrug. "It's different working with your mentors to working with a team," I say before looking toward Blue Beetle. "Or different when you have no mentor at all unfortunately. How are you adjusting to your scarab?"

He sighed and shrugged. "It's a work in progress."

I frowned, "Hopefully good progress."

"I didn't believe my ears when the computer announced your zeta," a male voice said. I looked over their shoulders see Malcom or Mal walk in with his girlfriend Bumble Bee.

I rolled my eyes but gave him a small smile. "Hey, Mal, it's good to see you too."

We fist bumped when he was in range. "It's good to have you back, Carter."

"Not back," I instantly clarified. "Just was told it was all hands on deck." I sighed. "I'm just not there yet." He gave me a sad smile and a nod in understanding. I turned to his girlfriend, "Hey, Karen, how's the job going?" Last time we spoke she had gotten a job as a lab tech at her college and she was worried about how she would handle doing everything.

"It's going well, Girl," she said smiling, "How has yours been?"

"Small gains," I said with a smile. "The company is happy with the progress."

"Carter," a new voice asked, "You're here."

I turned around on my heel and rolled my eyes. "I don't know what I said that would make you think I wouldn't," I said icily. "Don't act so surprised." The white slits of his eyes narrowed.

I turn to the girl beside him, "Hey, Batgirl."

She smiled, "Hi, it's good to see you. You've been missed."

I nodded. I couldn't say I missed it. I'd open myself up to the requests of several people asking me to return if I missed it.

After a moment of awkward of silence, Nightwing announced they had a mission and the immediately went into hero mode. "It's all hands on deck," Nightwing started, "The League and the Team will hit all 14 Krolotean zeta locations simultaneously. Your priorities are to destroy all zeta tubes or platforms and search for any humans they have abducted. As always, Mal is ops manager coordinating com from here. Wonder girl, you and I are alpha."

She smiled, "Yes," she cheered to herself.

"Neptune's beard," Lagoon boy protested.

"Assignment, Philadelphia," Nightwing stated.

"Okay, okay," Lagoon boy said silently, "Give me beta."

"Batgirl, Bumble Bee, you two and Wolf are beta," Nightwing stated, "Assignment Vladivostok."

"Robin, La'gaan, Beetle, Silver Magic," he said approaching them, "You're gamma, prep the Bio-ship. You're headed to New Orleans." Looking discouraged, La'gann looks to the floor and turns to walk to the hanger, "Gamma always gets the soft gigs." Blue beetle followed.

Dick caught Robin by the arm, "Tim, you're running gamma."

He looked astonished, "But, Dick, I've never lead a squad before."

"Making this a good opportunity to get you feet wet as a squad leader," Dick said.

"Because it is gamma and you aren't expecting trouble or because you are stretched thin and have no choice?" Tim asked.

I smirked at Nightwing's expression, "Just don't die, okay?" Tim's white eyes slights widened slightly, "Just don't take an unnecessary risks to the squad, that's an order."

Tim nodded in agreement and looked to us. I turned to Irena. "Be safe."

"Same to you," she said as she and Tim walked off to the hanger.

"So where am I headed?" I asked.

"San Francisco," he stated, "Single mission, just popped up on the radar yesterday. Check it out and if something's there you know what to do."

I nodded, "On it," I turned to walk to the zeta tubes.

"Carter," I turned to look at him over my shoulder. "We need to talk when you get back."

I paused and look at him before I reluctantly agree to it with a nod and zeta to San Francisco. I take a com from a pouch on my belt and place it in my ear. "Blue Raven to Mal," I respond.

I hear his laugh, "Hear you loud and clear, Carter, coordinates being sent now."

I formed a metal disc and lifted myself up onto the roof of the small building the zeta tube was attached to and surveyed the city until my wrist alerted me that the coordinates arrived. "Coordinates received, making my way to the location now."

The location was in the warehouse district near the coast. I approached on my metal disc. I would be lying if I said I had missed this. The feeling of the wind ruffling my hair, the sight of overlooking a city, The feeling of having a purpose. It's nice and I haven't felt it in a while. Ever since he left, it was hard to lie to all of my friends about Kaldur and it was hard to be a hero without Kaldur by my side as my partner. It made my depression hit me like a tsunami every single mission, every single visit to the cave. It left me vulnerable to any mental communication or reading from M'gann. I was becoming a risk to his mission, Dick suggested I resign. I reluctantly agreed and told everyone I needed a break.

I arrived at the warehouse, landing on the roof and informed Mal of my arrival. "All Team squads and Justice League units are in place and ready. Go time."

I dropped down from the ceiling and saw nothing out of the ordinary. I looked around at the boxes and saw nothing special. Labels in different languages most of which I knew and it was all just basic equipment headed for stores in the city for tomorrow. Then I began to hear clicking noises. I approached the noises. I saw nothing at first made an metal disc and made my way down over the large pile of crates. I landed silently on the ground and saw a slight light coming from underneath the floor boards. I searched along the floor until I found a hidden door. I cracked it open and spotted six Kroloteans working on a second zeta tube. The first already seemed complete. I closed the door and stepped away from them. "Mal, I have six Kroloteans and two zeta tubes, one incomplete, do I attempt capture?"

Nightwing got connected, "Blue Raven, first priority is destroying the zeta tubes if opportunity arises to capture, take it."

"Confirmed," I stated and approached the door. I grabbed something out of my belt. I lifted up the door and tossed it in watching smoke billow out from the cracks and heard the chaos that ensued. I opened of the door and hit the wall with a loud bang. I sent my magic out and sense for the metal of the zeta tubes and I crumbled the metal of the one of them. Apparently the incomplete one because I heard the sound of a few of them zeta away. The smoke cleared and I could see the last one left their eyes blinking between me and the zeta tube. They jumped and so did I. I punched them away from the zeta tube and he landed against the wall with a resounding thud. I used my power on the other zeta tub destroying it. The Krolotean ran for it and tried to get out of the door above us. I grabbed him by his foot. He kept shouting his language at me and kept trying and scratch at my torso. I held him away from my body and told Kal. "Both zeta tubes destroyed, five Kroloteans left via zeta tube and I have one captured."

"Great, approach New Orleans, Gamma needs back up," he said.

"Is everything alright?" I asked slightly worried.

"Maybe," he said, "Just get there as soon as possible.

"On it," I replied and I reacted quickly. I threw the Krolotean into an empty crate and surrounded it in cage of metal I formed before using another metal source to make a disc and head to the nearest zeta tube to teleport to New Orleans.

I appeared in the zeta tube just in time to get the coordinates received on my cuff. I approached the coordinates and saw a fire. I pushed the metal disc faster with a little more urgency. As I approached I let out a sigh of relief as I saw gamma team floating in water.

"Dude! Way to get your feet wet," Nightwing exclaimed. I approached him in the Supercycle and handed him the crate.

"One angry Krolotean ready for interrogation," I stated before I lowered myself to the water. I made a net shape of the water and lifted them all out of the water and onto dry land. I landed from my metal disc and formed the disc into two metal bands that wrapped around my wrists as cuffs.

"Good job, Gamma team," I turned and looked at Lagoon boy. "For an easy gig." I said to him in Atlantean. He looked surprised at my language and at least had the decency to seem embarrassed.

"Couldn't believe my ears when I heard your name on the coms," the voice of the green archer said behind me.

I turned around and gave him a small smile and shrug, "All hands on deck."

"It's good to see you are doing better," GA said in Russian, "By the way dinner, on Tuesday is at your house or ours?"

I gave him a look of confusion. "Family dinner that we have once a month," Black Canary said also in Russian approaching us. "You do remember we have that right?"

"Da," I said shaking my head, "Your house mine is a mess."

They both nodded. "It's good to see you out here, with the team," BC said in Russian, "It's been a while."

"That's what everyone keeps reminding me," I said with a sigh, "Well I have to go, I have to go debrief," I said in English.

She nodded. I turned and began to walk away. I reached up to the com in my ear that had be muted. I comm'ed Mal, "Let Nightwing know I'm going home, tell him he can talk to me tomorrow night."

"Got it, BR, and by the way," he paused, "It was good to have you back, Carter. No rust on you, Girl!"

"Thanks, Mal, see you later," I told him before I took the com out of my ear.