This chapter is another version of what Pietro might have done in Where Pietro Was In Day of Recovery. While the world was hunting mutants, Pietro and Gambit were dealing with Pyro's insanity.
Where Pietro Was In Day of Recovery
Pietro and Remy were watching TV on the couch in the Acolytes base. They and John were the only ones in the base. Peter want grocery shopping, Sabretooth went to fight Logan, and Magneto was out somewhere. Probably recruiting new mutants.
Remy and Pietro were watching The Nine Lives Of Chloe King, a new American fantasy drama television series on ABC Family. It had become their favorite show to watch. After all the training and work they had to do for Magneto, they finally had time to relax and watch the newest episode. Which was the last episode of season one.
"Don't kiss," whispered Remy. "You can't kiss each other! You're a Mai and he's a Human! He'll die!"
"I'll be so pissed if Brian dies," said Pietro. "He and Chloe make a better couple then her and Alek."
Just as Brian and Chloe's lips got closer, John ran into the room, laughing like the nut-job that he was.
"Let's play fire football!" he shouted with joy. He used his lighter to make a football out of fire and threw it at the other two Acolytes.
The two non crazy mutants screamed and moved out of the way. The fire ball hit the TV, blowing it up.
"PYRO!" they both yelled.
"NICE JOB, YOU BASTARD!" yelled Pietro.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS EPISODE!" yelled Remy.
"Sorry," mumbled John.
"Sorry? That's all you have to say!"
"You're a danger to everyone around you, John!" shouted Pietro.
"That's not true!" exclaimed John.
"Oh no? You almost killed us with a fire ball! You just blew up our TV! Last week you set all of our motorcycles on fire AND my father's car as well!"
"And yesterday you set my trench coat on fire!" added Remy.
"And my favorite jeans!"
"Face it, John! You're so crazy about fire, you're dangerous to be near!"
"I had a few accidents!" shouted John, throwing his hands in the air. "So sue me!"
"More then a few, mon ami," said Remy.
"No wonder you have very few friends," muttered Pietro.
"Hey, I have lots of friends!" screamed John.
"Really?" Pietro gave the fire loving mutant a skeptical look.
"Yeah! I'll write all their names for you right now! Just give me a few seconds."
John wrote some names on a blank piece of paper and handed it to Pietro.
The speed demon and devil eyed man skimmed it, looked at each other, then back at the paper. Pietro read the names out loud.
"Silver Fish, Blue Monkey, Yellow Bird, Edy Tedeschi, Siren North, Rose Autumn, Winter Ryan, Ed Keaton, Autumn Quin, Keaton Winter, Spring Red, Summer Yellow, Jennie Grey, Edd Falls, Jacob Winters, Addison Spring, Orange Summer, Red Winters, Green Springs, Sid Summers, Eddy Orange, John Blue, Purple South, Pink East, Gray West, North Purple, South Pink, Brown Northwest, East Grey, Black Northeast, Grey Southeast, Northwest White, Northeast Gold, Southeast Lewis, West Silver, Gold Southwest, Jani Brick, John Summers, Southwest Brad, Zero Gadsby, Goku Son, Yugi Muto, Piccolo Piano, Vector Doom, Johnny Stromm, Jake Mott, Ioan Gruffudd, Ken Wagner, Keeya Pryde, Jessica Alba, Earl Daniels, Ralph Crisp, Tadita Smith, Roger Da Costa, Rona Sinclair, Royce Drake, Amy Aquilla, Saber Guthrie, Jagger Madrox, Jillian Lee, Valin Creed, Rossa Darkholme, Frank Dukes, Tim Tolensky, Larry Alvers, Hal McCoy, Olivia Munroe, Chad Xavier, Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Hugh Jackman, James Marsden, Cole Turner, Christian Troy, Daphne Powell, Erik Jackson."
Pietro and Remy looked at John with unamused looks an their faces.
"Do you think we're stupid?" asked Pietro, dryly.
"No, mate," said John. "Why would you think that?"
"The people on this list are fake."
"What makes you say that?"
"The first few names on this list are colors, the seasons, and directions."
John just stood there, not moving or speaking.
"Your "friend" Edy Tedeschi," said Pietro. "Yeah, the name "Eddy" is spelled two ways. E-D-D-Y and E-D-D-I-E. Not E-D-Y."
"And no one is named Piccolo Piano," said Remy. "A piccolo is a small flute and a piano is a musical instrument in which felt-covered hammers, operated from a keyboard, strike the metal strings."
John bit his lip.
"Goku Son and Yugi Muto are from the Manga books and cartoons Dragonballz and Yu-Gi-Oh! that you love so much," said Remy.
"And I'm going to assume you thought of the name Vector Doom from the guy Victor Von Doom, the man known as Doctor Doom and you got the name Johnny Stromm from Johnny Storm, The Human Torch," said Pietro.
"Very uncreative."
"Cole Turner and Christian Troy are TV characters, Cole being from the show Charmed, and Christian being from the show Nip/Tuck, played by the actor Julian McMahon, who would've made a better James Bond after Pierce Bronsan then Daniel Craig."
"I couldn't agree more," said Remy.
"He would've make a much better James Bond then Daniel Craig," said Pietro.
"And Daphne Powell is a character in the show No Ordinary Family, played by Kay Panabaker."
John's eyes stared to water.
"Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Hugh Jackman, and James Marsden are all TV and movie actors," said Pietro.
"We saw Jessica Alba in the movie P.U.N.K.S. three weeks ago," said Remy. "And we saw James Franco in the movie Flyboys last night."
"So that, John, is how we know the people on this list are all fakes."
John burst in tears.
"Okay, it's true! I have no friends! I'm a loser!"
"John, you're not a loser," said Pietro. "You're an insane pyromaniac, but you're not a loser."
"And you have friends," said Remy. "Pietro and I are you're friends."
"Really?" asked John.
"Yeah," said Pietro. "You're our friend and teammate. The three of us always have each other's back no matter what."
"Thanks, guys! That really makes me happy!"
"But just because we're your friends, that doesn't mean you can bother us when we're busy, or throw fire at us," said Remy.
"Right. I promise to never threw a football shaped fireball at your guys again."
"Good. Now, clean up the mess you made."
"What are you two gonna do?"
"Find another TV so we can watch 8 Simple Rules," said Pietro.
With that, Pietro and Remy left.