Hello my dear readers! First of all, thank you for the reviews to last chapter Yours. I'm so happy you liked the chapter as much as I did. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Then I wanted to apologize for not updating, many of you have pointed that out. I've had trouble with submiting the chapter to the Doc Mananger. This chapter was actually finished 4 days ago but due to troules with the site, i wasnt able to upload it. But here it is. This is not over as some have asked me. We still have some chapters left. OMG... I'm getting so emotionla about this. This is such an important story for me and the support you all have been giving to me is beyond what I could ever imagine! I owe you all big time!

Now, let's continue with this story before I start to bawl...

Cutting out my heart

We where laying face to face next to each other. Our bodies tangled in each other under the sheets. In this darkest of moments couldn't I feel more happy. And he knew it. And I knew he was happy too.

Is it possible to love you more now than I've ever done before? I asked him and smiled.

I do. I always love you more than the day before. And as he said did he lean closer. Kissing me once again.

I put my hand on his face and kissed him to.

One more time? Before I knew it was I on my back once again.

I ran my finger up and down his arm. Grabbed and released my fingers from his. Drawing designs softly on the palm of his hand. Breathing together with him.

Of all the candles I'd lit up where some sending a soft sent of strawberries and some of vanilla. I took a deep breath of that scent that would remind me of this night forever.

Jake?

Yes, love?

Do you remember the first time we talked on the phone? When I called you?

Of course I do. That was the beginning of the best days of my life.

I smiled And do you remember our first walk on the beach?

I would never forget that.

Oh, and do you remember that day, you now when we first kissed, and when we came home Rose saw your ripped t-shirt?

Oh, yes! I remember. You can't imagine how freaked out I was! I thought that Edward might have seen it and in any second would go after my head or something.

We both laughed at the memories. And we remained like that. But I had to leave soon and that sent a feeling of sadness all over me.

I started to fill Jake's head with images of the two of us. From the very first time we'd met at Charlie's until some seconds ago. Always telling him I loved him. At the end of every memory.

Eventually, he felt asleep. But I couldn't make myself leaving him alone in the bed. But I had to. I forced my legs to obey me and take me out of the bed.

The air outside the sheets and far from Jake's body was cold and chilly. I didn't like it. The cosy bedroom did now feel scary and cold.

I found the night gown on the floor and pulled it over before sprinting quietly to the bathroom and took a quick shower. I did all in silence to not wake Jake up. Well I could've done all the things with the natural noise and even more and Jake wouldn't wake up, but I couldn't take that risk.

As I dressed my jeans and black button-up shirt couldn't I help but turne to look at Jake's face. So peaceful and beautiful in his sleep and even with a smile on his lips. Just like I wanted to see him. Happy.

I swiftly went around the room blowing out the candles. By the nightstand was there a piece of paper, an envelope and a pen.

I thought twice before starting to write the note. As I wrote the second sentence where my tears already flowing heavily. I couldn't help it. I was actually happy I left like this, leaving him a note. Instead of facing him. It might made me look like a coward, but I was. I didn't dare to face him. To look him deep in the eyes and then leaving him. I wouldn't have been able to look at him and tell him everything that was on my mind at this moment. Writing them down was hard enough.

I licked the envelope that contend my tear soaked note and some cash. Well, a lot of cash. This room was pretty expensive after all and I just couldn't let him pay for it all himself.

I put the note on the pillow where my head had been.

I walked around the bed and was standing over him. He was laying on the side facing the note. It would be the first thing he'd see when he woke up. By then I'd- hopefully- be on a flight to Maine.

I bent down slowly and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, taking a lungful of his scent. Then I kissed his lips with the same softness and put an I love you in his dreams. I saw he got it as his lips rose to a wider smile. A quiet tear left my eye and landed on his cheek. I quickly kissed away the tear before walking away.

I grabbed the bag that was by the entrance and left the room quietly without looking back.

"Awake already, Miss Wolfe?" the receptionist from yesterday asked.

"Eh, yeah." my voice sounded thick with the tears that I was trying to swallow. "I've to catch and early flight, I've to visit my grandma." I lied very easily.

"And your… eh… Partner?" he said a bit hesitative.

"He'll catch up with me" that lie was harder to tell.

"Oh, well. Have a pleasant flight and hope you enjoyed your stay"

"Thank you"

I quickly turned around and left the lobby. I jumped on a cab and went to the airport.

I bought my ticket to a first class flight to Maine, I'd drive the rest of the way to the old house that was in a town about three hours away so I'd rent a car by the airport.

First-class passengers, please aboard now, thank you.

the speaker voice called.

it was a bit embarrassing to board that flight. Not only where there only a handful of people in the waiting room, I was the only one that was in first class.

"Who flies first-class to Maine?" a lady told her friend. I ignored them and walked to counter and gave the woman my boarding card and passport. I got a bit sweaty as she opened it and read it, praying she wouldn't see anything, but again, I'd fly with that passport before without any trouble.

"Thank you. Have a pleasant flight Miss" the woman smiled warmly.

"Thank you" I whispered and boarded the flight.

I put my hand luggage on the counter above the seat and then put myself comfortable on my seat. I had to pretend I was comfortable.

I was reading a magazine as the rest of the passengers started to board the flight. Nobody paid much attention to the brat in first class, except the lady from before.

"She. She's the one that was carrying the Louis Vitton handbag." she whispered "And if I'm not wrong, those Jimmy Choo's aren't available until next years spring collection"

I looked down at my black ankle boots that Alice had bought me not to long ago. How had she managed to get them so early? Well, it was Alice after all.

I let the thoughts of the boots wander away as the captain started to speak. The fly attendants showed how to properly put on the breathing mask in case of change in the plane, bla bla bla.

The plane started to move and soon enough where we in the air.

I saw the early sun of California rise up along the coast. I'd give anything to have the opportunity to experience the dawn with Jake in the hotel room.

The thought of him alone in that room made my tears spill over and soon enough was I sobbing.

"Miss, are you okay?" a blond flight attendant asked me.

I whipped away my tears with the back of my hand quickly "Yes, I'm just thinking of…" the love of my life alone in an hotel room, my family left in another state because of me "my grandma" I told the woman the lie but told myself the truth in my head.

"What's wrong with her?"

A vicious and vengeance filled vampire is after me for reasons I don't know about. And I'm going out to fight her and… "She's really sick. She might not make it" I might not make it. the thought of me saying that made fresh tears blur my sight.

"Oh, that's really sad. You must be devastated.

"Yes" No. I'm scared.

The attendant smiled warmly at me "But you'll see it will all be just fine"

"Hopefully" The chances are low.

"Could I get something for you?" the woman asked.

Could you bring me my mommy, daddy and the rest of my family? Could you bring me Jake? Could you go face the vampire instead of me? Could you do that for me? "No" I said as a response to both the girl and my inside pleading.

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything"

I nodded and the woman continued on to the rest passengers.

I closed my eyes and let the tears flow over. I had no reason to hide my pain.

Hope you liked it and you'll have a chapter up soon;)

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AND: Do anyone of you do bete reading? I would Really need someone to help me out with spelling on a new tory that is coming up as soon as this one is doen? If you do beta or maybe feel that you've thecapacity of correcting my spelling don't hesitate on PM me.

LOVE