Disclaimer: I do not own 'Doctor Who' or any of the characters in it. All rights belong to the BBC, though I would love to own it myself. Sigh.
A/N: I think you may like this chapter…except for the ending. Sorry that I left it there ;O I will reply to all reviews and update when I get back from my holiday, promise :)
"Oopsie."
"Yes, oopsie." Amy hissed, poking the Doctor in the stomach with her finger.
"I'm awfully sorry," He apologised to her. "I just assumed you knew that aliens existed that were partial to human snacks."
"No I didn't—" Another jab in the stomach for the Doctor, "—and now you're telling me, right after we get tickets, that I'm going to be dinner!"
"Oh Amy, you're not going to be dinner!" The Doctor told her as he took her hands in his, the only way to stop her from poking him again, "They're not going to eat you."
Amy raised her eyebrows at him. "How can you be so sure of that?"
The Doctor released her hands and stretched out his arms. "Hello? Last of the Time Lords here! I'll protect you!" He finished his speech by ruffling her hair.
He expected Amy to be won over by his speech, so he was surprised when she poked him again. He knew he should have kept hold of her hands.
"Doctor, I think you're forgetting that—"
"—What? I never forget anything. I didn't even forget when—"
"—You look human too!" Amy yelled over his interruption.
It effectively quietened the Doctor, and Amy was surprised when he grinned at her. "Amy, I've told you this before. You look Time Lord!"
He raised his hand to ruffle her hair again, but Amy grabbed it with hers. "If you stop ruffling my hair, I'll stop poking you!" She growled.
"Deal!" He grinned, lowering their entwined hands. "And back to the main point, I smell like a Time Lord. No danger for me."
"If we look the same, then I smell like Time Lord too," Amy realised, relieved, "Thank God for that! That's saved me from becoming the new version of Sunday Roast, eh?"
Amy didn't like it when the Doctor bit his lip worriedly. "Doctor?"
"Um…you smell human. So I believe you're still in danger of becoming mashed Amy potato!" The Doctor didn't even give Amy a chance to reply before he was rambling again. "But I do have a plan to hide who you really are, if you'd like."
"I'll do anything to avoid becoming an alien snack!" Amy said with a shiver.
The Doctor beamed, already excited about his plan. "Right then! I'm going to disguise you as a Sypholoticon."
"A what?"
"It won't be too hard—Oh, you want to know what it is? Well, just think of a thirty stone Smurf with green spikes poking out of its blue skin. Any more questions before I continue?"
"How is everyone going to think I look like that?" Amy protested, gesturing wildly to herself, "I'm wearing a mini skirt! If I was thirty stone, I would never wear something like this!"
The Doctor frowned slightly. "Okay then, Plan B. We can pretend you're a Fungicili in human form, although…"
"Although what?"
"You're going to have to do something rather disgusting. I'm talking something out of your comfort zone, something that—"
"Doctor, I think I can handle it. It can't be much worse than Star Whale vomit," Amy replied airily, "So, what is it?"
"Are you sure you don't have to get yourself to a calm place?" The Doctor asked worriedly.
"If you're going on about the 'Oooom' noises, there is no way I'm doing that again."
The Doctor squeezed her hands gently, and looking directly into her eyes, he said: "You're going to have to be covered in llama urine."
"Llama urine?" Amy shrieked, "No way! I'll take my chances on becoming alien food, thank you very much!"
The Doctor eyed her warily. "Well, it's your choice. It's either walk around smelling like urine, or become Amy mince meat."
"I thought you said that you could protect me," Amy muttered to him, wanting to poke him again, but the Doctor still had a tight grip on her hands.
"Amy, I can protect you. But knowing you, you'll go wandering off, and then I'll have to stomach pump an alien to get you out of its digestive system!"
It was a hard choice for Amy. Take a risk, or cover herself in urine to avoid a trip to an Alien's intestines.
"Fine, I'll do it," She grumbled, "But where will we find Llama urine?"
The Doctor's grin was back. "Oh Amy, I have all sorts of Urine samples in the TARDIS," He babbled, his words jumbling together in his excitement, "I'll have to show you when you get back! It's like a laboratory for ammonia, you'll love it!"
Amy trusted the Doctor, but she highly doubted she'd love to explore his Urine Samples.
"Normal people collect stamps, or old coins. But nope, you collect Urine!" Amy exclaimed, unable to keep the smile off of her face, "You're one of a kind Doctor."
The Doctor beamed, and swept his companion into a hug. "Amy, I'm glad you're finally seeing me for what I really am!"
Amy didn't know why he seemed happy that he was so different to her, but she knew that she didn't like it. "Well, you're lucky that I like weird and alien, aren't you?" She remarked playfully, running her hands down the Doctor's chest.
The Doctor quickly stepped away from her, attempting to distance himself from her by saying, "Pond, you're remarkable. I've never met someone quite like you."
"That's good then, isn't it? I'm different, you're different…we make a right pair, don't we?" Suddenly Amy wasn't playing around anymore. And neither was the Doctor.
"We do," The Doctor murmured, his grey-green eyes locking with hers, "A great, but dangerous pair."
Amy reached out to him with her hands, needing his touch. "Doctor, I don't know what's happening between us, but I welcome it. I need you. I want you."
The Doctor hesitated, unsure of what to do next. He couldn't get involved with Amy whilst she was betrothed to another man. If she broke off the engagement with Rory, then he would consider starting something with her.
And then he wondered why he was even considering a relationship with her. They were best friends, nothing more.
"I think we're going to have to bring Rory on board the TARDIS to sort out where your priorities lie," The Doctor replied lightly, though both of his hearts were breaking inside. He didn't want to share Amy. She was his.
He wanted to cry when Amy's face fell, unshed tears glittering in her hazel eyes. "I don't want him!" She cried stubbornly, her hands clenching into fists.
"I don't think this is the right time to have this conversation," The Doctor told her quietly, "After our day at the zoo is over, then we can talk. Okay?"
Amy could only nod, for fear of letting her tears fall if she opened her mouth to speak.
"Now, I need to go and collect the Llama Urine, but I'll be right back, okay?" It wasn't necessary for the Doctor to retrieve it by himself, but he needed time to think away from Amy, even if it was for only a few minutes.
Again, Amy nodded, and the Doctor felt his hearts tighten at her sadness.
"Hey Pond," He whispered, "Try and stay out of trouble, okay? I don't feel like stomach pumping any aliens right now."
Relief washed over him when he saw a small smile tug at the corner of Amy's lips, and that was enough for him.
Stepping forward, the Doctor placed his hands on her cheeks and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
And then he was gone.
Amy watched him disappear through the entrance, and a tear that she'd managed to withhold slid down her cheek, followed by many more.
She stood there, crying silently, until she felt a voice murmur in her ear; "You smell absolutely delicious. Mind if I take a bite?"
Don't kill me for the cliffhanger ;O *Runs and Hides*
Hayley x