Chapter 8

He stayed away for hours, trying to give her family the time they needed. Bobby ate dinner and roamed the streets a while, wondering what the future held for him and for Alex.

When he got back, Liz had already taken her father home, and Johnny sat by her side. When Alex turned her head, and her eyes met his, Bobby felt a pang in his heart. He loved her.

Bobby licked his lips and stepped closer. "I, uh… I'm planning to stay the night," he said, then looked at Alex. "If you want me to, that is."

Alex scrutinized him. She could see he was more rested than yesterday, and honestly, she didn't want to face another long bout of night terrors with no one but the nursing staff to comfort her. "I'd like that," she said quietly.

Alex saw that whatever tension had been between her brother and her partner seemed to have passed. Johnny offered her a sweet smile and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, sis."

Bobby shook his hand awkwardly and turned back to Alex, who was watching Johnny leave. He raised a hand and gently brushed the stray hairs back away from her face. She still wore the bandage around her head. It didn't allow for much grooming.

"Thanks, Bobby," Alex said.

He chuckled. "It's as much for me as for you," he admitted. He smiled as he felt her hand on his forearm.

Two more days passed. Alex was up and walking. She was able to use her arms well as long as she didn't try to raise them from the shoulders. The days were much better, but the nights continued to be difficult.

They were waiting for her discharge paperwork. Alex had asked her family to leave her in Bobby's care, and reluctantly, they had.

"Bobby, will you… stay with me?" she asked.

"Of course," he said, without hesitation. He'd been there for her, two nights straight. The pain medicine had been cancelled. She had nothing now to help her sleep. "Your Dad, he… got your place cleaned. Liz helped, too. Except for Polly, it should feel like home again."

She nodded sadly.

"Did you wanna… go there? I mean, if it's too soon or something…"

"Yeah. I want to go home."

The forms came in, and the nurse went over the doctor's orders, and after she signed them, they were free. Bobby put everything in the duffel bag her sister had sent, and then he held her hand as they walked from the room to the elevator, and then out the door to the parking lot. He drove her home.

Alex hesitated at her door. She'd already turned the key, but couldn't bring herself to open the door. Bobby put his hand gently against her back. "I'm here, Alex. I'm with you."

Finally, she opened it and stepped inside. He followed, dropping her bag on the floor, closing the door and locking it tight. She was staring at the place where Polly's cage had been. "She was a good bird," Alex said. "It's a shame."

He nodded silently as she grieved the loss of her pet. Finally, she made her way to the couch and sat down. Bobby sat on the edge of the seat beside her. "You okay?"

"I don't remember much. I came in the door and noticed Polly was quiet, missing, and that's it." Alex raised her hand to the bandage around her head. She began to tug at it, and Bobby helped her take it off. She felt the area with her fingers. Then she started to comb her hair with her fingers. Bobby went back to her bedroom and found her comb. When he came back he held it up, offering to help her. Alex turned her back to him and he carefully combed her hair, using his other hand to keep from pulling it, and avoiding the area next to her stitches. Finished, she leaned back against him. Bobby put his arms around her, loosely holding her.

"I'm glad you're here," she whispered.

Bobby kissed her cheek. He had so much that he was glad for.

Finally, she started dozing in his arms. She woke up enough for him to speak to her. "You'll want to go to bed," he suggested.

"Mmm-mmm."

"Huh?"

She answered by snuggling closer to him. He squeezed her gently. "Alex, you can't sleep like this all night."

"Come with me," she said.

Bobby paused in thought. At last he nodded. "Okay." He helped her to her room, and out of her clothes. The t-shirt was the hardest for her to manage. He had to raise her arms for her to get them out of the sleeves, and this brought on a panic from the memories. Just in her bra and jeans, he looked away. Bobby rooted through her drawers, but everything seemed to be the kind of thing she'd have to pull over her head. He went to the closet and got a button down shirt out.

Bobby turned to her and held it up, offering.

"I'll just sleep like this," she said, shaking her head. She unfastened her pants, but was unable to get them down all the way. He stepped closer, squatted, and helped her. Alex climbed into the bed in her underwear.

Bobby took off his jeans, but left his t-shirt on. He climbed into the bed with her, trying hard to repress the desire that was building at seeing her like this.

"Bobby, hold me," she said quietly.

He turned and carefully put his arm over her torso.

"Thanks."

He smiled. "Anytime." He listened as her breathing became deeper and more even. Bobby kissed the back of her head.

By the wee hours, she'd woken 7 times. He held her again, and coaxed her though it again. This time, though, she didn't relax against him. This time, Alex cried. He gathered her into his arms until she was lying with her face against his chest. She sobbed, and he let her. She finally quieted, and she shivered. Bobby helped her lie down again and tucked the blanket over her carefully. They stared into each other's eyes. He kissed her forehead, and was surprised to feel her hands against his cheeks. Bobby followed Alex's lead. She drew him into a kiss, which lingered.

As he was lost in the pleasure of it, Alex's hand found his. She brought it up and laid it against the mound of her breast. Bobby froze, and pulled away from her kiss.

"Please," Alex whispered, replacing his hand at her breast.

"Alex, no. You're just looking for…"

"Bobby, I need you. I love you. I just want to feel normal again."

"I love you, too. And I don't want to hurt you."

"I'll let you know if it hurts."

"I'm not talking about physically."

Her tears sprang up again, and they rolled off her face as the anger erupted. "If you're not going to help me, then go! I don't need you here!"

The pain was evident in his face. "If that's what you want," he said quietly. "But Alex, your emotions are all over the place right now. T-try and… take a step back. I don't think this is how you want it to be."

She folded her arms over her chest. "Nothing is how I want it to be. Nothing will ever be how I want it to be."

Bobby nodded. "I don't want to leave you, Alex. I just don't think we should… go too far, too fast."

Alex didn't reply. She laid back down against her pillow, hugging herself, and cried.

Bobby felt the pain, too, but he didn't move. He stayed by her side as she cried herself to sleep.