Jasper Bloodstone & Jan Saur in Eorzea

Chapter 4

Jan found Jasper once again staring forlornly out the large window in a forgotten spare room. It just so happened to be largest window in the house and it just so happened to have the best view of the desert plains beyond. There was no way to tell what he could be thinking about for so long. Ever since Emily's death, he hadn't really spoken to anyone. He was beyond being spoken to. He seemed lost in his own world.

"Jasper, we have to do something today." Jan was met with more silence. "You can't spend another day sitting around doing nothing."

Jasper turned his head towards him with uninterested eyes.

"It's been a few weeks, Jasper. You have to let her go." Jasper simply continued to look at him. "You did it again, didn't you?"

"Did what?" Jasper finally asked despite himself.

"For as long as I've known you, you always tend to get too—what's the word?—

"involved," Jasper finished.

"Yes. Too involved with women far too quickly. You expect too much and you get disappointed over and over and over again."

"You're a broken record."

"I could say the same about you."

Jasper turned back to the window. "She died, Jan, for the likes of me because she thought she loved me. She was too young to understand what that meant. She had such potential as a conjurer. Given time she would have mastered it. Given more time she would have developed as a woman and gain the independence her mother had robbed her of. She might have matured emotionally. All of that can never happen. There was no real reason why she wanted to die. Much as I try to understand, I can't."

"Love is often hard to understand and she seemed quite deprived of it."

"Yeah…" Jasper said with a sigh as he leaned his head against the windowpane.

Jan walked over to him and took up one of his hands and gently began to tug on the other. "C'mon, Jasper, you can't stay here all day."

Jasper, despite himself, allowed Jan to pull him forth and practically drag him away from the windowsill. Jan was fully determined to do something that day even though he had no idea what that something was. But then Jasper stopped defiantly in his tracks. Before Jan could turn around to see what the other was doing, Jasper placed his hands firmly on his shoulders to stop him. Then his arms came around Jan's body and pressed him close against his. Jasper being a little taller than Jan found it easy to reach his ear and whisper.

"I know you've wanted this for a long time."

A strike of shock went through Jan, but suddenly he found himself waking up. Had that all been a dream? He sat up in his bed taking a deep breath and found Dinah still asleep beside him as it had been before when he thought he had gotten up. He shook his head in confusion and then got out of bed once again. He showered and then found Jasper in the same exact room he had been in for the past few weeks. A feeling déjà vu washed over him as he saw him staring out the window.

"Jasper, you can't stay in here anymore."

This time, Jasper looked at him the first time he spoke. "Lately, that's all I feel like doing."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His shook his head no and then continued what he was previously doing. Just like before, Jan walked over and took up his hand, but he didn't get much further. Jasper was already pulling him closer and before he knew it they were kissing…

And Jan woke up once again in his bed beside a sleeping Dinah, this time even more confused. He was already growing weary of it all. When he sat up, Jasper was already there standing right beside his bed as if he had been waiting.

"Jasper, are you crazy?!"

But Jan barely finished his exclamation and Jasper was already aggressively lip locking with him unconcerned with Dinah's presence as he made his way onto the bed climbing on top of him…

And then Jan woke up again in a panic. He peered to his right to see if Jasper was there, but he wasn't. His heart still beat a million miles a second. After a moment, he felt someone's hand on his cock and for a second thought that it was Jasper again and that he was still in the midst of his dreams, but when he looked over, he found that it was Dinah doing her usual check-up. She was awake now and she was grinning at him. It was obvious that she couldn't see his face clearly in the dark. Had she been able to, she might have wondered what had made him so panicked.

"Why, Jan, that's a first. You never wake up this early. Were you dreaming about me?" she asked huskily.

Jan gently took her hand away from his crotch. "You know, it's completely natural for a guy to get a stiffy while they're asleep—it's called Nocturnal penile tumescence and the cause of it is unknown."

"Oh, but the cause isn't unknown, Jan. I know what it is."

"You do?"

"Because of me, silly. You have this crazy notion that I don't want to have sex with you. I don't want to be a tease," she said moving closer to him, "I'm sure it must be tiring, wanting to have sex with me and not getting it."

"That's where you're wrong, Dinah. You don't have to feel pressured to do anything. I know what you've spent most of your life doing. You're not obligated to do things like that for me just because I happen to have a hard on. You don't ever have to worry about that with me."

"Jan, I liked what I did for a living—I enjoyed it. I understand what you're trying to do for me, but it's unnecessary. You don't have to walk on eggshells for me and you don't have to hide things from me. I want to pleasure you; it's that simple."

She was massaging his cock now rhythmically, but he gently pushed her hand back again despite the fact that it did feel quite nice.

"I'm going to take a shower," Jan said finally sitting up in bed.

"So be it. You just remember this, Jan. I'm not some porcelain doll you put on display and forget about. I don't break easy."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Also, I'll be going out again. Maybe you can get Jasper out of that room of his—it's unhealthy what he's doing."

"Alright," Jan said simply as he took his leave of the room and headed for the shower.

If only Dinah knew the kind of dreams he was having. It was embarrassing and annoying. Why wouldn't his mind simply give up on the notion of Jasper returning his feelings? Why couldn't he simply be satisfied with what he had? Dinah was so horny at this point that she'd probably wind up fucking him in his sleep, if he wasn't careful. He knew he couldn't keep her at bay for much longer, but he knew his mind wouldn't be in it if he simply acquiesced and he'd feel beyond guilty. He was in a dilemma, but at the moment, he could find nothing to take his mind off of Jasper. It was scary—the fact that he could not control his emotions very well. The only option left to him was move out of the house and never see him again, but just the thought of it filled him with a crippling sadness. It was the kind of sadness he could not hide from Dinah.

When Jan cleaned himself up, he presented himself before Jasper and, of course, he saw the same scene before him with Jasper staring out the window. Several things could have happened at this moment. He could tell Jasper that he shouldn't keep doing this to himself, that they should go somewhere today, but he was afraid even to say these things. The dreams remained quite vivid in his mind. His only relief was that they hadn't actually happened.

"Jasper…" but the words became choked and he stopped what he was going to say suddenly at a loss of words. He felt his cheeks burning. Certainly Jasper would pick up on such things.

Jan didn't think Jasper would turn to him, but he did. His eyes were depthless and full of a deep sorrow that moved Jan. He wanted to take his pain away, but it was easier said than done when it came to death. Jasper had never been able to handle death very well and he was probably very depressed right now.

"Jan, was there something you wanted to say?" he asked with half-interest.

"Yes, I…" But he found himself stopping once again. Images flashed before his eyes and he turned away in embarrassment just as he felt his cock grow hard and firm. This was too much. He was beyond embarrassed at this point. "No, nevermind…"

"Jan, you're acting strangely—even for you," Jasper said this time with real concern in his voice.

Of course Jasper would choose this time to be observing and concerned. Any other time he was far more self-absorbed. "I…just thought…" but the words he was thinking wouldn't come out of his mouth correctly.

"You are acting weird." Jasper looked at Jan's turned formed and began to evaluate his health. "Jan, your heartbeat per minute is off the charts. What's wrong?"

Jasper stood up then to the now frozen Jan, but he stopped in his tracks when Jan finally turned back to him, blush clearly on his face. "Sorry…I just had a rough night."

But Jasper saw it. The hard on was pretty easy to spot. "Jan, Jesus, man—have you still not fucked Dinah? How long do you plan on keeping her waiting? It obviously isn't working out very well for you."

"Some girls you just have to be patient with."

"Dinah doesn't seem like the kind of girl you have to be patient with," Jasper said shaking his head. "If I were you, I'd just get the whole thing over with."

"Jasper, you have no self-control. If it were you, you would have done her ten times over already."

Jasper grinned at the other. "You know me almost too well."

"Yeah," Jan said with a sigh, "Too well. How about it, Jasper? Do you want to do something besides staring at the window all day?"

"I suppose I could keep staring out this window for an eternity and never really understand why Emily made the choice she did. But I've thought long enough—I want a distraction."

"And I think I know what 'distraction' means for you."

"Oh don't be so crass. I'd like to hang out with you, if you don't mind—erection and all."

Jan couldn't stop his cheeks from flaring in redness and Jasper was easily amused by this.

"Alright, well, at least I don't have to drag you."

/

Jan kept a good distance from Jasper as they walked down the main road of Ul'dah. It was bright and sunny that day and there were plenty of adventurers running about. All of them seemed as if they were in a rush, sprinting about everywhere. Jasper grinned at this. He remembered those days. There always seemed to be something to do, some deed to perform for someone, some level of expertise one was trying to acquire in their own class of fighting whether it be magic or with weapons.

And then there was the adventurer's guild. Jasper imagined there would be plenty more adventurers in there and, of course, Momodi. This was all quite a distraction seeing the world so full of life and excitement. He'd lost Jan somewhere in the crowd, but that didn't bother him very much—he was enjoying himself without the other's help. Besides, Jan did seem to be acting strangely as of late…

"Please…I need your help!"

Jasper turned when he heard the old lady's voice. She seemed to be looking right at him and when he met her gaze, she moved slowly towards him with a slight limp. He already noticed that one of her legs must have healed crookedly as her bones connected in an awkward way. Before she could make it to him, Jan managed to catch back up again. Instead of having her walk all the way, Jasper moved towards her. It did seem painful for her to walk.

"Do you know her?" Jan asked the other.

Jasper shook his head. "Not that it matters." When he was within earshot of the lady, he spoke to her. "Yes, what is it you needed?"

"It's my boy, he won't wake up! And I've been trying to find someone who could fix him."

"How long has it been?"

"48 hours."

"You sure he isn't just really tired?"

"I'm very sure. He was fine the other day. And I can't wake him no matter what I do. I know there's something."

"Alright, let me see him then."

"You'll help him?"

"Of course, I am a healer first and foremost."

"And what is your fee?"

"I don't have a fee."

"Oh, bless you, child."

She took his hand and was already leading him down the road as fast as her one crooked leg could take her. Jan followed behind, hoping that they had not just run into some crazy old lady who was dragging them all to her lair. But he began to doubt as much as she made a turn into the residential area. She seemed to live in a fairly small house—a good place for two people. When they stepped in, he noted that it looked far more spacious inside.

"He's in his room," the lady said with a tinge of desperation.

She showed genuine motherly concern which was always a plus in Jasper's book. She'd let go of his hand as he followed her to the room. What he saw took him by surprise. He glanced over at Jan and saw that he was as well. The boy the old lady had been referring to seemed very well worked over as if he'd been double teamed in a fight. Small cuts riddled his skin where he must have been struck with a sword or dagger and both of his eyes were swollen shut from nice, hefty punches.

"Ma'm, are you sure he doesn't just have a concussion?"

"Oh, no, don't mind how he looks. He always comes back home having bit off more than he can chew in fights. I tell him it's dangerous to keep picking fights like that, but he doesn't listen. I'm used to seeing him like that. What was unusual is that he won't wake up."

"Just from looking at him, he seems unconscious." Jasper stepped closer to the still roughed up form of her son and he began to thoroughly evaluate his condition. "It seems you're right. A thaumaturge must have placed a very strong sleeping spell on him."

"Can you fix him?" the old lady asked.

"Easily, but I'd rather keep him in this state while I heal him further."

"Oh, you don't have to trouble yourself with that. He'll recover fine on his own."

"I'm sure he would, but while I'm here, I'd like to speed up the process. If you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind at all," she said with obvious gratefulness.

His injuries were purely physical and were quite easily healed by his conjury magic. Right before their eyes his scars and open wounds disappeared and his swollen eyes went down completely. In seconds, he was as good as new. With a swipe of his hand, Jasper took off the sleeping spell and he was awake in an instant.

He was a Hyur with blond shoulder length hair and startling blue eyes that seemed to shimmer when any hint of light struck them. He appeared young; young enough to still be living in his mother's house and he had a bit of peach fuzz about his chin. At the moment, he was quite confused as he sat up in his bed. He felt his face probably expecting there to be bruising.

"It's like I've stepped into a twilight zone. Am I still dreaming?" the teen asked to no one in particular, but his eyes found those of his mother soon enough.

"No, this kind man healed you from your recent debacle with god knows who."

And then he met Jasper's gaze. "Thank you, sir, but I wish you hadn't healed me so completely."

Jasper's eyebrows cringed in confusion. "And why ever not?"

"I can't get used to someone healing me so miraculously after a fight. Besides, you won't be there every time."

"Perhaps you should better prepare yourself before getting into trouble."

The young man gave the other a mischievous grin. "Now what would be the fun in that?"

Jasper gave the other an exasperated look. What was the point of healing someone if they were just going to keep doing what had gotten them into the mess in the first place? He looked over at the amused Jan. "I'm through. Why don't you talk some sense into him?"

Jan shrugged. "Not much I can say. Take some heal potions with you next time."

"You're encouraging him?" Jasper asked surprised.

"You have to start somewhere," Jan said nonchalantly.

"I do carry heal potions with me, whenever I can," the boy said speaking up. "I make them myself."

"See, looks can be deceiving," Jan said giving Jasper an accusatory glance. "Could never get into alchemy. Far too precise for my tastes."

"I do it out of convenience," the teen said admittedly. "I wouldn't have enough money to just keep buying heal potions as fast as go through them."

"Well, this time you bit off more than you can chew. I hope you don't plan on going back," Jasper said exasperatedly.

"Oh, but I have to," the teen said with a grin. "I have to pay them back."

"And what do you plan to do about the sleeping spell they can put on you?"

The teen shrugged. "Haven't thought about it. It's only one person, that damn thaumaturge—a tricky, destructive lot. Him and his friends. I managed to piss off the right people this time."

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Jasper asked concerned.

"And when do you plan to confront them again," Jan asked before he could answer Jasper's question.

"I thought I'd have to wait a few days for my wounds to heal, but thanks to that healer, I have no problem taking them on again today."

"Today?!" Jasper asked flabbergasted. "All my work gone to waste."

"But it doesn't have to be," Jan said turning to Jasper. "If you're so concerned about his health, why don't you join him?"

"I don't need any help," the youth declared. "This is my fight."

Jan gave him an unperturbed look. "Jasper and I will be joining you today. Seems like you need the help and besides, we have nothing better to do today."

"Both of you?" the youth asked in annoyance.

"You'd still be in that bed asleep and beat up if it weren't for my friend. I think you owe us a favor."

"That isn't a favor—we're just doing him another by tagging along," Jasper said.

The teen was still pouting on the bed.

"I think it's a great idea," the old lady piped in after watching their exchange. "For once he can go out there and I won't be afraid for his life. He really does take too many chances on his own."

"C'mon, lad, now what's your name?" Jan asked the other.

The teen took a moment and then looked at him. "It's Malachi, Malachi Firewright."

"I like it," Jan said with a grin. "I'm Jan Saur and this is my friend Jasper Bloodstone."

The name Bloodstone didn't ring any bells with the youth and Jasper was glad.

Malachi climbed out of bed and looked at both of them. "Alright, well, let me get prepared and I'll meet you two outside."

"Prepared," Jasper said with obvious sarcasm, but then took his leave of the young man's room.

Once out in the living room, the old lady invited them to sit down. She limped off to the kitchen to grab something to drink.

"I guess this is your definition of distraction," Jasper said looking at Jan. "What were you thinking getting involved with this ridiculousness."

"I'm sorry, but you got yourself involved just by helping her in the first place. What you do, Jasper, is miraculous. Healing people from near death, raising people from the dead. And you choose to do those things freely. You inherently get yourself involved with everyone else's problems—it comes with the territory, doesn't it? Besides, you and I both know that a team can get things done far more efficiently than going it alone."

"You talk as if we were still adventurers braving dungeons trying to solve everyone's problems."

"Are we not?"

Jasper shook his head slowly, "Says the guy who's planning on settling down."

"Well, it's not like you ever plan to."

"Things just haven't worked out thus far."

"Oh is that a fact? Or are you even trying?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Just then, the old lady walked back in with fresh orange juice and set the cups down on the table in front of them.

"My favorite," Jan said as he took the cold glass to his lips.

"I'm glad you like," she said with a smile.

"Mrs. Firewright—

"Oh, no, just call me Sarah."

"Sarah, has your son always been like this?"

The old lady took a seat on the couch across from them. "For as long as I can remember, he's always had a knack for getting himself injured whether it be from falling down the steps or knocking things off table. You know, most kids cry when they get hurt, but I guess he just got used to it. He just shrugs it off. Drove me nuts. I went through so many bandages with him. I still have a stockpile of them in the bathroom. When he got older, well things didn't change."

"That sounds really difficult to live through. Always worried for your son's health," Jasper said.

"I guess I got used to it too. At some point, there's nothing more a mother can do. He comes home bruised up and sometimes I don't even bother to bandage him. I'm really glad you two are here today. At least for one day, I'll know he's in good hands. Alchemy can only take him so far—he really needs a good healer to back him."

"And Jasper certainly is that," Jan said completely enjoying his OJ and in a rather good mood.

For now, Jan's mind was off of Jasper and on the ensuing fight they would soon face. He hoped it would be a fair challenge. After all, it'd been a while since he used his Pugilist skills against anyone.

"Do you want that?" Jan asked when he noticed that Jasper hadn't touched his juice.

Jasper flicked his wrist indicating that he could care less.

"This won't solve anything, you know," Jasper said sitting back on the couch. "We'll help him today, but what about tomorrow and the next?"

"We can only take things one day at a time," Sarah said. "Perhaps he'll realize something today and decide to do things differently."

"That's a big perhaps," Jasper responded.

Then Malachi stepped out from the back fully armored. Jan was clearly impressed by his gear.

"You look ready," Jan said.

"Yeah, unlike you two. What are you even fighting with? Jasper doesn't even have a wand on him."

Jan stood up. "I'll use my fists—that'll be enough. Who are we dealing with anyway? Just kids with too much time on their hands."

"It doesn't take much to heal you," Jasper said with a shrug. "A wand would be overkill."

"Well," Malachi said with arms crossed. "I guess this'll be a walk in the park the way you guys are talking," he said with sarcasm.

The three of them said their goodbyes to Sarah and was soon off to their confrontation. They followed Malachi since he was the only one who knew where to go. They reached a pub and Malachi told the two to wait outside.

"This is right about the time they would be hanging out. Just like last time."

"You don't plan on starting something inside while we're sitting around out here, do you?" Jan asked giving the other a critical look.

"Now that would require actual forethought. Don't worry, you'll get your action."

Jan watched as Malachi went inside and then looked over at Jasper.

"You seem thoroughly excited about all of this," Jasper said. "I can't wait to get this over with already."

And suddenly they could hear shouting. There were five of them and one of them shoved Malachi backwards onto the grounds.

"Alright, let's have a proper fight," Jan said walking up to them.

"Oh? What's this, Malachi? You need a babysitter now?" said the young man who was clearly the leader of the small ragtag group.

Malachi stood up then. "No. Just thought I might even the odds. What kind of punk gangs up on one guy anyways?"

"What kind of punk lies about making out with my little sister?" the leader retorted.

Jan looked over at Malachi with surprise and the other gave him a sheepish look. "Well, it's the best way to tick people off," Malachi said to his questioning look.

"What's done is done," Jan said shaking his head.

"We only want to beat the tar out of Malachi, you stay out of this, old man," the leader said.

"I'll do as I please."

The other four were already taking out their weapons and Malachi unsheathed his sword. Jan was already in his fighting stance. The fight began immediately. Jasper kept his distance and Malachi managed to attract all the attention on himself. They were so focused on him that Jan was able to attack without fear of being struck back. His punches were quite devastating and he wind up knocking out most of them with a couple of punches. He left the leader for Malachi. They both had swords and they seemed to be going at it quite passionately. Of course, Malachi would win. Jasper would heal any damage he took on and Jan had taken out all support from the opposition. The thaumaturge hadn't even been able to cast sleep—he'd been taken out instantly.

Malachi stood victorious against his weakened and finally beaten foe and he had barely broken a sweat. It was a win like no other. There was no pain, no wounds to dress, no blood loss. It felt incredible. He turned to the other two and was eternally grateful.

"You two made that look easy. I've always lost against them until now," Malachi said to them.

Jan cracked his knuckles. "That's how it should be, if you're prepared. You didn't do so bad yourself. Your ability to take on damage is unparalleled—you don't shrink away from pain. That's a rare talent."

"One that could get you killed if you're not careful," Jasper said gruffly. "But you did well. Perhaps you might stop claiming to have made out with people's little sisters for a while."

Malachi gave the other a smile that did little to reassure Jasper.

"C'mon, Jan, I think we've spent enough time here."

"You can go," Jan said to the other. "Think I'll do a bit more roaming with Malachi here. If that's okay with you," Jan said turning to the youth.

"Fine with me. If you don't mind a bit of trouble," Malachi replied.

"Look at that, two peas in a pod. I trust you know what you're doing, Jan."

"I'll be fine," he said reassuringly.

Jasper took his leave then with a final wave. He wanted nothing to do with senseless fighting. Ironic since his presence would have encouraged it. Jasper hoped they'd be a bit more careful if they didn't have him to rely on—at least he could count on Jan reacting in such a way. But he couldn't be sure. Jan was acting differently around Malachi—more reckless, more like he was when Jasper had first met him. Jasper realized something as he made his way back home. Malachi reminded him of how Jan used to be and perhaps Jan had realized this. He grinned to himself. They were perfect for each other.

But then it also saddened him as he stepped back into his house. He was all alone now. At the moment, he was in his house alone and there was nothing to keep his mind from wandering. But he soon had out his Thaumaturgy book and was quite absorbed in that for the rest of the day.

/

Jan came back home well worn out from the day's activities. Malachi hadn't been lying when he said they'd be getting into some trouble. Seems he was hated by quite a few people in town. The poor boy didn't know when to quit. If he didn't know any better, he swore the boy was enjoying it all—the good and the bad. He was an odd one, that was for sure with a few screws missing, but Jan had never met a tank who wasn't that way.

He took a shower and climbed right into bed without even checking up on Jasper. He was tired for one thing and for another he simply could not. They'd be alone together and Jan wanted to avoid that kind situation. He might have been able to take his mind off of things today, but the feelings were still there and he had not figured out a way to squelch them yet. Even now, his thoughts returned to him. Even when Dinah eventually climbed into bed with him, his thoughts remained. Jan pretended he was asleep so that he wouldn't have to suffer through another sex conversation with Dinah—she was certainly thirsty and he had nothing to give her. It took a while, but he finally fell asleep and his dreams were those of Jasper.

/

"Jan, we need to talk," Jasper said.

Then Jan was waking up once again, but this time to an empty bed. Dinah must have already gotten up perhaps even left the house completely. They hadn't been talking lately so Jan wasn't surprised. He washed off and then went downstairs for breakfast. Of course, Jasper was there having woken up first and setting up breakfast—ham, grits and eggs.

"Wow, this is bigger than usual."

"Well, I'm sure you wore yourself out yesterday so I thought I might make you something to regain some of that energy."

"What did you do while I was gone?"

"I got a bit deeper into my thaumaturgy studies. It was quite enlightening."

"And what do you plan to do once you master that?"

Jasper shrugged, "I have no idea."

"Shouldn't there be other things you should concentrate on?"

"Like what?

"I won't be here forever, Jasper."

"Yes, we all die, don't we?"

"No, I mean I won't be here in this house forever. Then you'd be here with no one to keep you company but yourself."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"Really? Is that what you keep telling yourself?"

"I find comfort in solitude."

"Is that a fact?"

"Yes. Why must you question everything that I say? I wouldn't lie to you."

"And what do you define as lying? Because not telling me something is equally as bad."

"Jan, I have no idea what you're referring to."

"That's one of your tactics, isn't it? Acting clueless."

"Jan, what is it you think I'm keeping from you?"

"I would try to get it out of you, but I don't feel like spending the time. You never had any intentions of settling down. All those years ago when we parted ways, you just said those things so I wouldn't worry about you."

Jasper's eyes narrowed. "Who told you that?"

"When you were possessed, Emily's mother happily indulged me one of your secrets."

He shook his head slowly, "But why that? It wouldn't even be important for her to know—what was she trying to convince you of?"

"Does it matter? The fact still remains."

"Alright, Jan, you got me—I had no intentions. I still don't."

"I'm sure your family would be ecstatic about all of this."

"To hell with my family. I've never put much stock in them. Besides, I have plenty of healthy brothers and sister who would gladly continue the family name."

"So your decision is final?"

"Yes."

"Any reason why?"

"You probably already know. That witch couldn't seem to keep her mouth shut about me."

"I do and it's a shame."

Jan had finished up with his food and was about to leave the table altogether before Jasper stopped him.

"Are you doing anything special today?" Jasper asked.

"No, not particularly."

"Then let's hang out."

"Sorry, but I don't want to."

Jasper gave the other a confused look as if his refusal was complete foreign language. "What? But why ever not?"

"I just don't feel like it today."

"Was it something I said?"

"No," Jan said continuing his trek to the front door. "It's not you."

"Then why?"

"Must there be a reason for everything? I don't feel like it—go find something else to do."

And before Jasper could respond, Jan had left the room completely and as quick as he could made his way to the door and stepped outside. His heart was beating a million miles a minute. He took a deep breath to calm himself and closed his eyes hoping his mind would think about something else other than Jasper, but he seemed incapable of doing it.

"Shit," Jan spat under his breath.

It was uncanny and just a little annoying. But when Jasper had looked directly at him and claimed that he'd rather be alone for the rest of his life, it had made him beyond upset. He'd wanted to comfort him for the pain he must have been feeling for so long. Jasper could put up a good front and he did like his alone time more than most, but he was no loner. He craved other's attention just like the next person. He hadn't made that decision lightly. He had felt it necessary to doom himself to eternal lovelessness just because he thought he couldn't love anyone the right way. And here he was secretly pining over the man, too afraid to say anything. Even now, he still didn't want to. Jasper wanted to hang out with him because no one else would and because he had not seen fit to make any other friends. How would he react if he found his friend wanted to be more than just that? Jan held no illusions—he'd be horrified. And Jasper was a man of extremes. He'd sever their relationship even if it might hurt him to do as much. He'd sever everyone out of his life if he could find some excuse. It hurt him to see his friend calmly and surely walking down the path of destruction.

Jan knew one thing; he couldn't spend another moment with Jasper without spilling his heart—and he was terrified of this. So he simply left while he was still sane. He needed something to pound. Jan stalked off to the Gate of Sultana and started on the creatures just outside of the city walls and continued down the entirety of that area. He spent many hours there tearing into unsuspecting creatures who may or may not have deserved his wrath. It was only when evening struck that Jan felt he had spent enough time there. Then he came back to the city to cool off and to grab a beer.

He did not expect to run into Malachi. He was much too young to be at a bar at this time of day when the sun was going down. Jan eased his way over to the youth who was more or less sitting by himself chugging down beer as if it were water and he was thirsty.

"Jan?!" Malachi said a little too loudly and a little too surprised.

"Malachi," Jan said simply and sat down beside him. "Fancy meeting you here."

"Did Mom send you?"

Jan shook his head. "I come to the bar from time to time. What about you? What the heck are you doing here?"

"I wanted to get drunk again."

"Again?"

"Couldn't get anyone to fight me today—I was feeling a bit depressed."

"For sane people, they'd call that a good day. Your mother won't have to dress your wounds. You won't have to spend weeks in bed healing."

"I guess I'm not sane."

"Hm," Jan said and then took down the rest of his beer. "This is no place for a kid. If it's a beat down you want, I know the perfect solution."

Jan set his glass down and climbed off the seat. Malachi couldn't actually finish the rest of his before Jan was dragging the youth out.

"I swear, how can a kid with a mother so caring turn out so wrong," Jan commented as he still led the other with a firm grasp on his arm

"Because I'm an idiot."

"Damn straight."

"Where are you taking me? You're not going to tell Mom, are you?"

"I should, but it just so happened that you caught me in the right mood."

Jan took Malachi to a grassy area—a place that was largely deserted at this time of day. Then Jan released his grip on the boy and put a fair amount of distance between the two of them.

"You got a strong grip, you know that?" Malachi said rubbing his arm, but he didn't seem the least bit perturbed.

"Alright, put up your fists. If it's a beat down you want, I'll give it to you."

"Really? Promise you won't hold back?"

"I don't hold back," Jan reassured the other.

And so they went at it. As Jan said, he didn't hold back in the least. He dished his full fury out on the boy and Malachi didn't last long from all the damage. As hardy as Malachi thought he was and as much damage as he thought he could take—he was steamrolled by Jan's fists and he eventually fell to the ground in a bloody heap.

"Oh, shit," Jan said slowly and with astonishment as he finished his latest combo. "I'm so sorry—

Jan didn't expect the bloody heap to speak back to him. "No, it's fine. This is exactly what I wanted."

"You going to get up anytime soon?"

"Does it look like it?"

So Jan lied down beside the horribly wounded youth.

"You didn't hold back, did you?" Malachi asked the other.

"Son, I barely got started."

"Oh," Malachi said a little let down. "Oh!" he said this time with more excitement.

"What are you 'oh'-ing about?"

"It's good news to me—it means there's still things out there I can't handle. You fought passionately out there. At least it felt that way. It wasn't just anger, it was passion."

"And you can tell all that from just a few punches?"

"I've made enough people angry—I know the difference. Seems like you really wanted something to pound in. Was there something bothering you?"

"Perhaps. It's not something…I want to talk about."

"What do you plan on doing instead? Beating more things up?"

"Maybe I'll tell your mother how you really spend your nights."

"Anything but that," Malachi said with a hint of worry.

"You sure you're going to be alright?"

"I'll always be alright. I learned a healing technique from a friend of mine so I can heal myself little by little. I've never felt punches like those before," Malachi continued on. "They were beautiful. So full of power and passion. I loved every minute of it, every feeling of impact, every fresh bout of pain."

Jan looked over at Malachi a little concerned. "You really get off on this kind of thing. Never has anyone rejoiced at getting punched by me."

"But I'm different."

"I can tell."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"If you feel you can trust me with it."

"I trust you." Malachi paused for a moment before he continued. "I'm a masochist. The feeling of pain…has always felt very good to me. I want people to hit me so I can feel it. The deeper and more traumatizing the pain, the better. If I must make people hate me to get them to hit me, then so be it. When your friend Jasper healed me yesterday, I was just a little upset—I hadn't even been able to feel that sweet pain while I was asleep—and being ganged up on by five people promised a lot of that."

"Has it always been that way for you?" Jan asked the other quite intrigued.

"For as long as I can remember. I think the first time I tripped down a long flight of steps, I knew for certain. I would try to repeat that experience and it wouldn't be the same. I'd fall out of bed, I'd make things fall off of tables, but it wasn't the same. When I drove my mother crazy with all the accidents I was getting myself into, she smacked me hard across the face—that was what I wanted. I needed someone else to inflict pain upon me. For a long time, I kept such things a secret from her, but I knew I was hurting her. She just didn't know why I acted the way I did and finally, one day, when I made her cry, when I saw she was at her wits end—I told her. And she understood. I mean, not immediately, but eventually. She came to expect that I come home with lots of bruises and she stalked up on bandages ever since."

"That would have been a nice thing to know beforehand when she elicited Jasper's help."

Malachi shook his head. "It's a secret, remember? She wouldn't be spouting out such things to complete strangers."

"So why are you telling me this now? I'm still pretty much a stranger to you."

"Oh, but I felt your punches—I know you quite intimately now. Also, I thought it might help you with your problem. I sense your desperation. You want to say something, but you can't."

Jan looked over at Malachi who seemed to be in better shape now but not fully healed and then he sighed. "You are quite perceptive."

"I can learn a lot about a man through his fighting spirit."

"I love him—Jasper."

"Jasper? That's your friend, right? What's so weird about that?"

"No, not just as a friend, much more than that."

"Oh, I see and I guess Jasper doesn't know that."

"He doesn't."

"I don't get it. What do you see in that Elezen? I mean I don't know him that well, but he seems like such a stiff."

"You haven't known him for as long as I have. When you first meet him, yes, he does seem a bit boring. He never really knows how to express himself outside of being rude and sarcastic. But he's so much more once you peel away those layers. He's really quite gentle and caring. His heart is easily damaged or moved. He loves too easily. He sacrifices himself for the silliest of things. He can be quite passionate and steadfast. When he says he has your back, you have nothing more to worry about."

"You're right—I don't know him very well. If he's so caring and if you've known him for so long, what would be so wrong about telling him how you feel?"

"Well, he'd be horrified. He'd be so dramatic about the whole thing and cut me out of his life—I'd rather just be friends if that's the case."

"And how has that been working out for you? Seems like just being friends isn't enough."

"I thought it would be. But things happened and…I just find it really hard these days."

"Tell him then."

"No, I can't."

"Or keep going on like this until you drive yourself insane."

"I'll think about it."

Malachi sat up then now fully healed from his bout with Jan.

"How does this even help you, masochist? I won't feel like pounding things in if I figure things out with Jasper."

"I'm not concerned about that. I don't like seeing people hurting. I'm the only one who should be feeling hurt—I derive pleasure from it."

"Even from emotional pain?"

"Even that. I'm just wired differently than others."

"I see." Jan sat up as well when he realized how late it was getting. "C'mon, I'll walk you back home."

It was a nice breezy night. The breeze reminded Jan of Jasper's healing and the cool breeze that would wash over him whenever he was the recipient of his salubrious magic. Then his heart panged for his closeness. He hadn't seen Jasper all day. He wondered how the other might be faring after his outright refusal of entertaining him.

"You stay out of trouble now," Jan said as they arrived at Malachi's door.

The youth grinned at the other. "I'll try my utmost."

"And try not to worry your mother so much."

Malachi's face took on a more serious look and he simply nodded to the other. With that, Jan took off for Jasper's place hoping the other was asleep by now.

When he stepped inside of the manor, none of the lights were on. He stood still for a while and heard no movements. He checked the dining room, living room, den, and the spare room with a large window. Jasper was not there. Finally he checked Jasper's room and found the door to be locked. He only ever locked it when he was asleep. Satisfied, Jan went to his room and slipped into bed with a lightly snoring Dinah.

/

Jasper was not there in the morning for breakfast and Jan grew concerned. He went to Jasper's locked door and knocked on it for good measure, but there was no response. He placed his ear against the door and heard movement inside. Then he knocked again.

"Who is it?" Jasper asked wearily through the door.

"It's not like you to miss breakfast," Jan said.

"Not that you would care," Jasper retorted loudly.

"I do," Jan said exasperatedly.

"I'll be out in a few," Jasper replied grumpily.

With that, Jan returned to the kitchen and began making something on the stove. His cooking was subpar, but he did know how to make bacon, eggs, and toast. He even brewed some tea for Jasper's sake. By the time Jan sat back down at the dining room table, Jasper was there as well with his book.

"So what did you do yesterday," Jasper asked immediately upon Jan sitting down.

Jan could hear the jealousy in his tone. Jan shook his head at the irony. "Hung out with Malachi."

"You like hanging out with him now? Is he more fun?"

"No, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like? It's obvious you've become too embarrassed to even be seen near me."

"Jasper, jealousy is a very ugly thing."

"Well you drove me to it."

Jasper hadn't even tried to deny it. "Jasper, there's something I've been debating to tell you about…and I've been having trouble figuring out if I should or not."

"Is that so? You know you can tell me anything, right, Jan?"

"Not anything, unfortunately. I mean why is it you felt the need to keep the fact that you lied to me all those years ago a secret."

"Well…it just didn't seem proper to tell you…I knew you'd take it the wrong way."

"Exactly. We know each other so well, we know what should or shouldn't be said."

"And you think your little secret is something that shouldn't be said?"

Jan nodded.

"Then don't tell me."

"What? That's not what I expected to hear."

"I'm releasing you from your anxiety. I know you have a secret, but you're not obligated to tell me anything. You don't have to sit around thinking it's morally wrong to keep secrets from your friend—I'm saying it's okay with me. I trust you."

"This is one of your reverse psychology tricks," Jan said matter-of-factly.

"You know I'm not savvy enough for those kinds of things. Jan, whatever it is, keep it if you're finding it this hard to say it. I'd rather preserve our friendship."

"I'd like that."

"Now, I'm going to make a trip to the thaumaturge guild. It would be nice to have your support."

"Of course," Jan said with a slight grin. "I always have your back."

/

AN: Sooo, we have a DPS, healer, and tank. Stay tuned!