Hey! Okay, you might not believe me, but I'm on edge of crying. The second to last chapter for this story, i would like you to review so that I wont cry myself to sleep ;)

Letting go for love

I'd completely lost track of how long I'd been inside. How long it'd been since I last had seen the sky or my family. I didn't remember when was the last time I'd hugged Jake. The last time I'd smiled.

The medications helped with what needed to be helped, but I knew Jake didn't like me to take them. And honestly, neither did I. But it was like if I needed them. It was something I'd to take to survive another grey day.

But I was starting to get tired of it. Tired of this monotonous lifestyle, if you could call it that. Human food had been the only I'd eat, and hunting hadn't I done in a long time. I needed a great hunt.

But then, the part that wanted to put an end to the suffering got defeated by the part that was feeling guilt. That was one of the main reasons I isolated from the rest of the world. I couldn't induce myself to look anyone straight in the eyes. My head hung low every time someone spoke to me. But I was starting to get tired of it. I couldn't live like this.

I light knock on the door dragged me out of my thoughts.

"Come in" I said in a whisper.

"How are you doing, honey?" my dad said with his eternal soft voice.

"Good, bad, I don't know which one's which now"

"Which means that you need to get out more, get a new hint of reality" he paused when he saw that I didn't react. He saw in my thoughts that that was what I wanted, but…

"You don't need to feel guilty, Renesmee. You didn't know, no one did"

"But, it was an innocent life" I whispered, afraid that my voice would break.

"I know, and don't think we aren't sad, because we are. And I understand. Only the thought of loosing you makes me…" he trailed of, his eyes flashed a bit of that pain I'd been going through, and I knew he understood. "But that innocent life" he continued "Was what saved your life"

I thought through his words. I remember grandpa explaining that, because the baby had more humanity, Alice could see it's future, which sadly was that only part. That painful part. It was the only memory that child would get. Pain, suffering.

"Renesmee, stop that!" my dad's stern voice made me jump. "Stop blaming yourself. By doing that you're not only hurting yourself, but also me, your mother… and Jacob" his ryes got a different look when he spoke Jake's name.

"You know, Jacob's going through a lot too." his eyes got a look like if he was thinking, focusing deeply on something painful " I can understand him. When I thought your mother had died" only the words made his face torn in pain "did I want to die, too. Only the thought of her in pain made me want to torture myself, too feel that pain. I didn't want anything but taking her pain away from her" his eyes reflected that pain, that pain he whish he could take.

" And I know, Jacob feels the same"

The thought of Jake feeling the pain my dad so truly was explaining to me, was unbearable.

"What have I done?" it was meant to be a thought but came out loud.

"You where just human" my dad smiled "Jacob understands that"

"He loves me" I said. My lips turned to a smile as I thought of him.

"He always have" my dad's thoughts where somewhere far. I inspected his face. When he noticed me, he smiled.

"He gave this to you your first Christmas" my dad shoved his hand into his pocket and took out a little piece of fabric and took out it's content.

"He mad it himself, and couldn't stop bragging about it. And you loved it" my dad's smile grew wider as he showed me the leather bracelet with a hand carved wolf. It was so little.

I smiled "Was that mine?" I took it from his hand and started to examine it.

"Yes. You never took it of."

"But why do you have it?" I didn't know my question would change the mood.

"Because I took it away from you when you lost your memory" his voice was sad and full with regret.

"Dad" I said with a sigh "don't feel bad. I'm not upset about it anymore. After all we've been through, I know that what you did, eve if it was wrong, you did it for my best"

"Thank you" he said with think voice.

I leaned closer to give him a hug, fighting my own tears.

" you want to put it on?" dad showed me the bracelet and I nodded.

He looked so proud but also a bit nostalgic as he tied the bracelet to my wrist. I'd have to ask him. Later.