Celestial Being Chronicles - Chapter 111
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Gundam series, nor any of the various series which are used or referenced in my fic, so please point that damned lawsuit cannon at someone else, also, don't read this if you are not of legal age to read such material. The story contains possibly disturbing content and should not be read by close-minded people (i.e., people who are easily offended.) Everything in the story is fictional. I am also not responsible for any actions taken by people who read this story and society's problems. I do, however, own my original character; Hope Yamato.
Crimson colored waves lapped the shore near the obliterated city of Tokyo-3, the redness of the waves contrasting against the white of the sandy beach. On a cracked and broken pole, Misato Katsuragi's cross was nailed. Mass Production Evangelion Unit 5 towered motionlessly over this scarred world. A thick, violet beam stood out against its surroundings and underneath it was the head of Evangelion Unit 01, scorched by the heat of reentry. Lilith's head stared sightlessly into space, a ghostly smile fixed on her lips.
Asuka Langley Soryu looked at Shinji Ikari coldly as they sat on the beach. Sitting up, she hugged her knees. "Fuck you, Third Child." She said, in a contempt-filled voice. "You left me to die when you could've helped. I might never forgive you for that. I might never stop hating you for it." The pain and anger was present in her tone of voice. She wasn't about to tell Shinji, but she was not the person he knew from before Third Impact. Now, she was immortal, and posessed the powers of God.
Shinji looked over the churning, red sea. "That's why I came back. I want you...I want everyone to be able to trust me again." He said, looking down. "I've let everyone down; I failed you, I failed Misato, I failed Touji...I can't love myself until I atone for my sins." He trailed off to a melancholy silence, looking far off into the distance.
Asuka followed his gaze for a few seconds. "Then you can go back to Instrumentality, Shinji." She said coldly. "I'll never forgive you."
Shinji's eyes misted over as he continued to look at Asuka. "Asuka..." He said. "Can I never...make up...?"
"No!" She screamed. "How dare you think that I'd ever forgive you, even for a moment? After all that you'd done to me? After all the times you've abandoned me and let me suffer? After you stood by and let me DIE?" Her words shot daggers of pain through Shinji's heart.
"Asuka, I...I didn't do anything!" He protested.
Her slap knocked him backwards. "Are you dense?" she yelled. "Nothing is exactly what you've done!" She turned away. "Now we're stuck in this hell because you were too weak to save anyone." She sniffed. "You let me hurt...you let me die...everything's completely your fault. You killed me." Tears now ran openly down her cheeks, and Shinji, still holding on to hope, held his hand to her cheek and brushed away a drop. Her reaction was lightning fast as she whipped her arm around and smashed her fist into his nose. A burst of blood splattered from his crushed nostrils as he tumbled onto the sand. Asuka stood above him, shaking with fury, and suddenly, that fury was Shinji's, too. A flying kick hit her full in the stomach, knocking her to the ground. She cried out, but he had already pinned her arms down and was kneeling on her legs. Pain crawled from Asuka's limbs, which screamed for circulation, and a slow fire crept from her abdomen. Dazed, she looked at Shinji through what seemed to be a curtain of blood.
'Will you...kill me, Shinji?' She wondered.
Shinji looked down at the young girl. Half of his mind told him to grab the nearest piece of wreckage and crush her skull, while the other half, more insistent, called for him to pick her up and hold her, begging for forgiveness. He continued to look at her, fury and want intermingling and battling for supremacy within his heart, which writhed in pain with the struggle.
"You killed me." Her accusatory words whispered, and Shinji finally broke down. Dropping his head to her bosom again, he released her arms and encircled her back, crying again.
"Asuka." He croaked. "Don't hate me...I beg you. Don't push me away...I can't take any more of this. I'll...do anything you want...just...help me."
"No."
Her eyes burned with a steady anger, boring into Shinji's very soul. "I can't be satisfied; not by you, not by anyone. I'm always alone...everybody abandons me in the end. All I have is myse;f." As the words escaped her mouth, their truth hit her like a sledgehammer, and her bravado evaporated.
'I'm really alone. I don't want this, but I can't be loved, because I can't love.' Shinji thought.
Fate had ripped love away from her, just as it had ripped her mother away. Now, all she has is the shattered remains of a boy who had failed and abandoned her, just like everyone else.
"I can't take this..." She whispered. Shinji's hand grabbed hers. "You don't have to, Asuka!" He said, with bleak pain evident in his eyes. "You have to let people into your heart. Then...you can be happy. You...just have to trust them...trust me...I'm begging you; don't abandon me..." Her shoulders sagged. "Damn it, Shinji." She said, reaching up again to touch his cheek. Shinji brushed her hand with his. "I'll...I'll be here, Asuka. If you need me...I swear I won't abandon you..."
"Promises...oaths...they're all so pointless; everything is so pointless. I can't trust you with my heart."
Shinji drooped, his tears flowing more freely now. He sat up and looked sadly down at Asuka. "I have no one except you, Asuka." He said. "I need you, so please..."
"You need me?"
"Yes! YES! Asuka, I...I need you...no one else would do...I need you to not hate me, because I have no one except you..."
"Then...where were you?"
"Huh?"
"Where were you when I nearly died against the Fourteenth Angel? Where were you when I was all alone against the Fifteenth Angel?" Her voice steadily rising, along with her suppressed anger. "Where were you when I was torn to pieces while still alive?" She yelled, her words now choked with tears. "How the hell do you dare ask me to be with you, when you've never held me and had never been by my side?" By now, she was screaming, and tears streamed down her cheeks. "You have no right to ask for anything!" She sobbed. "I hate you...Shinji Ikari...I really hate you, you god damned idiot."
In the red ocean, a head appeared, and a figure floated towards shore. It washed up onto the beach, revealing a man of perhaps 20 or 30, with a mop of brown hair and rectangular glasses. He lay face down, completely still, for a minute or two, and then twitched, his head valiantly attempting to lift itself up, but failing. A few seconds passed, and with a groan, he flipped onto his side. The man groaned and, finally summoning enough strength, sat up swearing loudly. He shook the sand from his cream-colored shirt and pants.
"Damn it." He grumbled. "I feel like shit."
"Don't we all?" A voice from behind him said.
The man turned around to see another man sitting on the sand. He had long hair and wore a plain white T-shirt and jeans.
"This sure feels like hell, eh?" He said good-naturedly.
"Shi-Shigeru Aoba?" The first man asked, rubbing his eyes. "Damn it! What the hell happened?"
Aoba shrugged. "I'd say Third Impact." He looked around, and then gave a low whistle. "Damn! Not a pretty sight to wake up to."
The first man, Makoto Hyuga, looked in the direction his colleague was looking at and jumped. "Damn." He said. "Is this some sort of insane nightmare?"
Aoba chuckled. "I pinched myself already. This is no nightmare, man. This is the real Evangelion Unit 01. Looks a lot scarier up close, doesn't it?"
Hyuga laughed drily. "We worked with that thing, Shigeru. You're not scared, are you?"
Aoba turned considerably redder. "Well..." He stammered. "I was just wandering..."
"You're scared man. Admit it."
"Shut up, Hyuga, before I tell everyone that's back about...Major Katsuragi? Hmm?"
"Bastard! You wouldn't dare!"
"What will you do to stop me?"
"The fact that you're approaching thirty and have never had a girlfriend?"
"You can't blackmail me, buddy; everyone knows that I'll be a hundred-year old virgin. What about you, my friend? You're pretty old, too. Do you want me to tell the world that you're a thirty-year old man who likes to read shojo?"
"What the hell, man? You read shojo? You're a damned pervert!"
Both Nerv lieutenants turned around to see a dark haired, muscular boy march up to them, followed by a more lightly-built boy with mousy brown hair.
"Hey...Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida, right?" Hyuga asked. Aoba snickered. "Changing the subject...to cover up your embarrassing facts, eh?" He whispered.
Hyuga silently ribbed him hard, and continued. "I thought you'd all gone." He said.
Touji shrugged. "I don't know." He said. "I guess there's too many things that have happened here for me to really leave it. Kensuke? KENSUKE!"
The other boy was running furiously towards the downed Eva. "Now don't you be a dumbass, Kensuke!" Touji called. "Your not thinking...damn! You're a real otaku, aren't you?"
Eva-01 lay in shallow waters, and Kensuke splashed through the LCL with total disregard for his clothes.
"Hikari's gonna be mad, Kensuke!" Touji yelled. "She don' like LCL all over clothes!" Unable or refusing to hear his friend, the obsessed boy climbed up Unit 01's arm and raced over it, slipping and stumbling on the hard surface.
Hyuga sighed and got up half-heartedly. "I'll go get him." He said.
"Ouch! Scheiße!" Asuka yelled, blowing on her burnt finger. Shinji looked around.
"Asuka, are you okay?" He asked. "You ought to be more careful with the fire."
Holding the blistered digit, she turned to glare at him. "Don't tell me what to do, Shinji Ikari." She snapped. "You're the one who's promised to protect me, so get to work!"
"Asuka, I said I'd protect you, not be your manservant." Shinji sighed, the remark earning him a smack on the head.
"Shut up." She said, blushing slightly. Turning back to gathering firewood, Shinji secretly smiled. The past week had been stressful; the shattered remains of the once bustling city were now deserted and almost all convenience stores were been completely empty. There were only a few people about, and they were all too busy staying alive to be of company.
"Well now, what do we have here?" A heavyset man asked softly, as he peered over a collapsed wall near the camp which Asuka and Shinji had made. "A neat lil' camp with food, firewood and plenty of water. It looks like we're in luck."
His companion, a thin, wiry man, snickered quietly. "They don't seem to have a defense, either; a real easy nut to crack." Another member of the group silently tiptoed up.
"All right, guys." He said. "What are we waiting for? This'll be just like every other time we'd raided camps." The first man spat on the ground.
"What the hell...what the fuck's even going on here? One minute, I'm sitting in a bar, and the next thing I know, I'm in some twilight zone and then I end up here."
The newcomer shrugged. "This world does have certain advantages." He commented. "Remember that little girl we were playing around with last night? Now she was damned nice-looking; not something scumbags like us usually get to screw."
The second man snickered again. "Nice n' tight n' screaming, just how I like 'em; a virgin, too. We didn't get to rape before this."
The third man looked thoughtfully over to the camp. "It would have been nice if you hadn't thought of stabbing the little bitch." He said. "We could've kept her for a real long time. She wasn't much more than fourteen or fifteen, you know."
The first man chuckled. "I've been here before. There's an even prettier redhead in there. A little European beauty, not much older than the girl we did last night, and damned tasty-looking. Let's not waste time now, shall we? After all, we need to repopulate the planet after this disaster."
All three men shook with suppressed laughter, and the wiry man slithered away towards the small camp.
A loud shout echoed through the skeletal remains of the city. Dropping his cans, Shinji Ikari dashed outside, rounded a corner, and came face to face with a massive man in a tattered JSSDF uniform. He had Asuka in his arms, easily lifting her off the ground. The man froze in surprise as he saw Shinji, and then yelped as Asuka bit down on his beefy left arm and slammed a foot back into his crotch. Shocked back to alertness, Shinji charged at the man, who dropped Asuka in an attempt to both dislodge her and counter Shinji's furious blow. Asuka rolled aside, gasping in pain, and Shinji's fist connected with the soldier's solar plexus. The air burst out of the man's lungs, and he staggered back, gasping in shocked surprise. Shinji followed his first blow with the edge of his palm, driving it into the man's Adam's apple. With an annoyed growl, the man grabbed Shinji by the shirtfront and hurled him against the store's wall. Stars exploded in front of his eyes, and he slid down, stunned and dazed. Behind him, Asuka screamed again as the wiry rapist grabbed her by the hair and swiped het feet out from under her. A well aimed elbow in the face, however, shattered the man's nose ridge, causing him to howl in pain. With adrenaline surging through her blood, Asuka picked up a massive chunk of concrete and brought it down hard on the top of the man's head. A sickening crunch resounded through the shattered streets, and the first man whirled around, dropping a bleeding Shinji from his hand. He stared, open mouthed with horror, as Asuka dashed from the corpse of his companion and hammered the chunk of rubble home on his forehead. He, too, dropped down, his mashed brains strewn about the scene of the fight.
Unknown to anyone in the ruined fortress city, the CB-X60D Divinity Gundam was hovering high overhead. The camera in the back of the mobile suit's head was zoomed in on the small camp which Asuka and Shinji had created, while the cameras in the machine's eyes and forehead were monitoring various points along the shore. The two former Evangelion pilots were completely unaware of it, but they had divine protection in this post-apocolyptic world.
The rain splattered gently against the collection of fallen concrete blocks that was Shinji and Asuka's home. Outside, the collection of pots and pans clinked as rainwater pooled inside them. Asuka sat huddled in a corner of the tiny shelter, her teeth chattering, wrapped in a heavy blanket, which was surprisingly still whole even after Third Impact. Shinji had fished the blanket from the wreckage of a nearby department store a few days earlier. Shinji wrapped his arms about his body, trying to stay warm.
"Idiot." Asuka complained. "Why didn't you grab another blanket or something?" Shinji looked away, smiling.
"Sorry, Asuka." He said as a matter of routine.
"Dummkoph...I should have known."
"I'm sorry, Asuka."
"Whatever..."
A loud growl came from Asuka's stomach. Shinji looked up.
"Hungry?" He asked, holding out a steaming can of instant noodles and a pair of disposable chopsticks.
"Mmmph-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Where did you get thi-it's hot!" She exclaimed. Shinji smiled, and moved aside to reveal the small can in which he'd been keeping a fire burning. He held out the container.
"Here; eat it while it's still warm."
Asuka reached eagerly for the noodles. "Not bad, Third Child." She said. "It's good." Shinji moved the can between their bodies and sat looking at Asuka's huddled form. Asuka ignored him and wolfed down her food, occasionally wincing as she moved her shoulder the wrong way.
"Uh...don't choke..."
Asuka paused to swallow. "I never told you, but I actually liked your cooking. It's one of the few things that actually made you bearable. I'd gotten used to coming home and having my food laid out in front of me."
"I...was happy." Shinji said, poking the fire. "I...had a home to come back to, people to care for...somewhere where I was welcome. I was getting to rebuild my life. Until I realized that I was alone again...Touji was in the hospital, you...were drawing away from everyone around you. Kaji was-"
"Don't you dare say it!" Asuka yelled.
"I'm sorry."
"God damn it, so am I; and Misato..."
"Was too wrapped up in her own grief...and then she was always gone from home, trying to find the truth behind Nerv and the Eva."
"We were all alone, and you didn't even try to help."
Shinji stirred the remaining noodles with a spoon. "I'm sorry."
Asuka chewed slowly, stirring her food around. "I...can't hate you. I just can't hate you for leaving me. In the end...I still can't just push you away. I still give a damn."
"Thank you." Shinji smiled.
"Shut up." Asuka quietly growled. "I wish I could hate you."