Author Notes

I often wonder at the absurdity of life. Who knew that Theo James decision to leave Sanditon a #brokenfairytale would result in me having some sort of creative renaissance and FINISHING a ~50k word fanfiction. Certainly not me given that I hardly even LIKED S1, and only watched S2 out of Kanthony withdrawls. Who knew Heybourne would make me lose my GD mind and live in my head rent free?

On a personal note, a life goal of mine has been to write a novel and I did some extensive googling and a typical novel can run anywhere between 50-80k words. So for those that followed along - ya'll read a short book thats about the same length as "The Notebook" or "The Great Gatsby" !

My plans are now to go through and edit once more and create an epub version for my Kindle, and MAYBE purely for vanity, I'll print a paperback copy only for holding the proof in my hands that I wrote something of this length. Hit me up if you'd like a file :)

Thank you ALL so much for all the reviews, kudos, etc - it has meant the world and kept me so motivated to finish this. Please keep it coming - i have no shame in begging :D

For those who are interested or would like to support me further - please feel free (no obligation) to check out some of my original content: kindle-vella/story/B093TQFPVK (unfortunately locked to US only :( ) and feel free to follow me on twitter: /aulaugesen

Without further ado - the final chapter.

Papa,

I wished to let you know that my engagement with Ralph has ended. I am so truly sorry to have treated my old friend so cruelly, but I believe it would have been more of an abominable cruelty to marry him when I know that I love another.

I apologize for the most awkward position that this puts you in given our long friendship with the Starlings but I hope they will in time surely come to realize it was for the best.

I love Mr. Colbourne dearly, papa. I know you will be very angry with me, but I know what a life of love looks like - I have grown seeing it every day with you and mama. I must be selfish and demand the same for myself.

If you will permit, I will stay in Sanditon a week longer with the Parker's and hope to introduce you to Mr. Colbourne when I return to Willingden.

Your devoted daughter,

Charlotte.

Her mother had replied to the letter. A short answer, simply stating that they would meet him when Charlotte would return to Willingden. There was no mention of her father's reaction, nor of the Starlings. She imagined her father's stoic face, the mortification and anger etched in it, and felt sick in disappointing the man she admired so dearly. Yet, she knew she had done the right thing for when she thought of a life with Mr. Colbourne, she felt nothing but peace and contentment.

She would think no more of it, simply choosing the remaining week in Sanditon and enjoying the company of her friends and of Mr. Colbourne.

It was a warm December day, following an unseasonably warm and sunny week. The lack of rain had rendered the ground dry. The party at Heyric decided that a picnic was in order to enjoy the fleeting warm weather before it changed. Charlotte and Xander had decided to sneak away, and the unofficial chaperones had quietly decided amongst themselves to allow the couple some privacy. After all, both were so sensible it was hard to believe they could get into too much trouble. They sat underneath the tree on the grounds of Heyric, his head in her lap as she combed her fingers through his hair.

They had been sitting quietly, taking advantage of the rare solitude and privacy afforded to them.

"Might I ask you something?" She asked, her fingertips tracing the outline of his lips.

"Always," he replied with a small nip on her finger.

"Why did you let me go?" she asked softly, hurt seeping into her voice as she thought of his behaviour all those months ago. Colbourne's face shuttered. He had not been expecting the question. He moved off her lap, repositioning himself so that he was sat beside her. He looked at her then, his eyes earnest.

"I did not want to. You do not know how little I wanted to let you go. I regret every word I uttered, there was never any shame, nor regret in what I had done," he said, his hands cupping her face. "My thought was to save you from myself, of the lifetime of misery I was sure I'd cause you."

Charlotte pulled a face. "That was hardly your decision to make," she replied, feeling the anger of it all again.

"It was not. And a moment of happiness with you is worth a lifetime of any misery," he kissed her then, and although she was not fully placated, she conceded to the kiss until he had kissed all the displeasure and irritation away.

"But what caused you to change your mind?" she asked, slightly out of breath but now situated very comfortably in his lap. "Before I left with Leo, you seemed happy with me…" she trailed off feeling shy and uncomfortable.

"I let every insecurity get the better of me after a conversation with Lennox. I have no one to blame but myself." He turned her to face him. "I realized I had made a mistake nearly immediately. I had come back to you but…"

"But you had come back to ask me to be your governess again. Surely you would have realized that was impossible?" she interrupted.

He looked at her in surprise then. "Charlotte, I had come to ask for your hand."

"No." she said. "No," she repeated, her mind unable to rationalize what he was saying. "You'd mentioned Augusta chiding you, the house feeling my absence. You wanted me to return as your governess."

"Charlotte." he said, looking at her. "I can promise you I came with the intent of asking you to be my wife."

She laughed and shook her head. "What a mess we made of it all." She looked at him then, a sparkle in her eye. "I suppose it is all for the best. I should have soundly rejected such a proposal. I was quite angry with you."

"You would have been right to do so." he replied, smiling at her. "Though at least you would have known of my intentions. Perhaps that would have changed things." He looked at her then ruefully. "My only regret is that I let you believe that my heart did not wholly belong to you, for it has been yours since nearly the moment you entered Heyric Park." She kissed him soundly then, pouring all the love she felt into him.

"Do you have any other questions?" he asked after a few moments. "For if my answers allow for such a response, I'd be happy to answer them for as long as you like."

She laughed then and moved to lift herself off of him, only to find him drawing in her tighter. He dropped a kiss onto the base of her neck.

"I have a question for you," he asked, a soft whisper on her neck. She nodded her head. "Why did you accept Mr. Starling's proposal?"

She sighed as she thought of the answers she had given to that very question to every person that she had asked. She knew how little he would believe those answers. "I was heartbroken, and I knew Ralph could never break my heart as he'd never have it. Not in that way." She looked at him. "I waited a few weeks. To see if perhaps you would write, or maybe the girls would. No such letter came and I hardly thought one would be welcome from me" she admitted, a secret she had told no one and barely acknowledged herself. "I was resolved to forget you. Ralph was the best way to do so." She looked down at her hands that were intertwined with his. "So you see sir, in trying to save me from misery, you'd left me in the throes of it."

It was painful to hear, all of it. Yet it needed to be said, for it would have loomed over them, a cloud lingering over their happiness. They sat silently, hands intertwined.

"I cannot change the past, Charlotte," he finally whispered. "I can only tell you how I regret every decision I made that kept you away from me." He pulled her close. "I promise you I will never make such a mistake again. I will do everything in my power to ensure your happiness."

She nodded, moving to wipe an errant tear that had fallen. Before she got to it, his lips captured the tear. He kissed her eyes then. Her nose. Her cheeks. Her ears. Her forehead. Her chin. Then returning to her eyes and starting it over again until she started laughing. He smiled then, but continued his kisses until he finally met her lips and as if it was possible to kiss away misunderstanding, hurt and heartbreak, this kiss would have done so.

"I suppose I have no choice but to believe you," she finally said with a smile. "Given that I've never felt such perfect happiness as I have with you."

Colbourne felt the intense wave of discomfort that came from knowing that he was about to do something he had been dreading. In his hands was a letter from Mr. Heywood, surely a response to his letter making his intentions for Charlotte known. From what Charlotte had shared of her father, he felt fairly confident that the man would not deny his request yet could not help but feel that his disapproval would weigh heavily on Charlotte.

Mr. Colbourne,

Thank you for making your intentions clear regarding my daughter. If my daughter has accepted you, there is little I can say on the matter. My family looks forward to meeting you in Willingden.

T Heywood

Colbourne flinched at the coolness of tone, but felt a little relief in seeing that he did not discourage or deny his suit. He could not feel too embittered at the lack of warmth. As a father, he felt certain he would behave the same. Beyond it all, her father had respected her choice regardless of his thoughts on the matter which spoke to the character of the man.

With the reluctant acceptance of Mr. Heywood, Colbourne felt free to begin the proceedings of procuring a license, drawing up the marriage articles and preparing his home for the inevitable arrival of its new mistress. Working with Mrs. Wheatley he opened up rooms that had been closed for some time, finally moving Lucy's things that had been left nearly as a shrine to the woman. He stood in front of her portrait for some time, finding for the first time, he could look at it without feeling the overwhelming sense of guilt and dread.

Mrs. Wheatley approached him. "She was beautiful."

"She was." he agreed softly. "Mrs. Wheatley, would you see that the portrait is moved to Lucy's chambers?" She nodded. He stood in the front of the portrait a moment longer, looking at the face before walking away.

Charlotte was due to arrive and he had wanted to be able to greet her before she was stolen away by the rest of his household. Private moments were becoming increasingly rare and he wanted to soak in moments before he had her return to her home until the wedding.

He had only made it to the door when he saw a familiar form approach Heyrick and his heart skipped a beat. She saw him and smiled and his heart felt whole.

Happy was the day Mr. and Mrs. Heywood married off their beloved first born. The bride was glowing, a simple white gown with beautiful blue floral embroidery at the hem and the skirt, her dark hair curled about her face. Her groom in his blue coat looking as dashing as Charlotte had ever seen him. Her sisters, Leo, Augusta and Georgiana served as her bridesmaid, and of course, Sam stood with his brother. It was an intimate affair, the seats of the church were filled with only their close friends, family and the joy, love and laughter emanating from the couple was contagious.

After the wedding, there had been an agreement to leave Leo and Augusta with the Heywoods while the wedded couple would go on their honeymoon. He'd promised to take her to Paris and then a tour of Greece, all the sights she had grown reading of and dreaming to see. She'd nearly cried in delight when he'd told her the plans.

As they sat in the carriage together, hands intertwined, Charlotte wondered again at her journey that led her to this moment, how she had ended up so perfectly happy. With a husband, her husband, that was the kindest, most generous, most loving man she had ever known, so perfectly suited to her in every way. As if sensing her contentment, he pulled her close to him, his lips placing a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. She gave a soft sigh of contentment.

The frustration and hesitation Mr Heywood had on learning the news of his favorite daughter's betrothal to her former employer had all but evaporated after two meetings with the man. The first had been stiff and awkward, but he had left a good enough impression on Mrs. Heywood that Mr. Heywood bit his tongue, though it had been clear his daughter still felt his displeasure in the matter.

The second meeting, the two gentlemen had found themselves alone after some careful maneuvering from his wife and his daughter and after some awkward silences, they'd come upon the common interest of raising willful young ladies, and from there, conversation had flowed.

Later that day, he'd observed his daughter and Mr. Colbourne. Attempting to remove his prejudiced lens, he saw what his wife had seen almost immediately. His daughter was radiant and happy around her betrothed, a happiness he had missed seeing for years. And as for Mr. Colbourne, he'd found himself smiling privately at the man - remembering his own behavior during his engagement with Mrs. Heywood. His eyes never left her. He hung on every word she said and it was clear he thought the moon and the stars hung from his daughter. And so when the wedding day came, Mr. Heywood felt every bit the proud and bittersweet joy that a father feels in giving away a piece of his heart.

They had arrived at Heyric well before dark, and she entered the home again for the first time as the mistress of the home. General propriety typically dictated that the staff be there to greet the new mistress, but Colbourne had waved the tradition away. Every member of staff was already familiar with his new bride. Nonetheless, Mrs. Wheatley was there to greet them with a smile and lead them to the dining room where a veritable feast had been prepared for the two guests.

Indeed, Charlotte saw the table spread and could not help but laugh.

"Surely we cannot eat all this?" she said, looking at Xander.

"Mrs. Wheatley may have gotten carried away," he said with a chuckle. "We'll ensure the food does not go to waste."

The table had been set assuming propriety in place, as they were placed at opposite of the table, but Colbourne, never a fan of tradition, moved his plate and himself to sit in the seat next to her. They ate quietly, nearly shly, Charlotte feeling a bundle of nerves for the evening ahead. His hand reached for hers under the table, and she smiled as their fingers intertwined. The dinner went on for a half an hour, they had felt easy enough to make polite conversation - talking of subjects that they both felt comfortable with. The wedding itself - how beautiful it had all been, how the weather had cooperated, the friends that had joined, Leo's shenanigans. And of course, talking of Augusta and her brother, Thomas, nearly coming to blows over a discussion over a book, after which they had to be kept separated for the rest of the night. The last story had seemingly broken the awkwardness of the evening, as they laughed at the indignation of Thomas at being "bested" by a "girl barely out of leading strings" and Augusta's subsequent outrage at being called so. Mrs. Heywood and Colbourne had absolutely been mortified at the behavior of their charges, but Charlotte had managed to appease them all though Colbourne privately worried at leaving Augusta with the Heywoods. She would chew up and spit out that poor boy.

Of course, once dinner was cleared up, Charlotte felt the awkwardness of it all again and they walked quietly to their rooms, Xander leaving her at the door of her new bedchamber.

She entered the room and gasped in delight. The walls were adorned with a new wallpaper, and upon closer inspection, her heart leapt when she realized they were cornflowers. On one wall was a beautiful fireplace, a roaring fire already stoked, on the other, a massive wardrobe with a looking glass affixed on the door itself. On the other, a small writing desk, an small bookshelf entirely full with books, and two chairs that were clearly meant for reading. She felt her eyes well up in tears, as every detail in the room seemed suited to her taste and sensibilities and she knew he had painstakingly chosen it all for her.

There was a soft knock on the door, and a young girl, Maria, entered.

"Excuse me, miss, Mrs. Wheatley sent me to help you for the evening." Charlotte nodded and let her into the room. The girl chattered about helping her remove her gown, undoing her hair, all while Charlotte gave non-committal responses. The bath was brought in and she quickly found herself soaking in the tub, thoroughly scrubbed and cleaned with rose and jasmine scented soaps. Her hair was washed, then braided, and Mary helped her into her nightgown.

"Anything else, miss?" the girl asked as she finished cleaning everything away. She shook her head and the girl left.

Charlotte sat at the edge of the bed in nervous anticipation for what was to come. She obviously was not so innocent that she had no idea what was meant to happen, but knowing what animals do on the farm seemed a little different that happens between a husband and a wife.

Her mother had given her some sort of talk, but hardly anything of use, given how prone her mother was to blushing furiously, finally resorting to saying instincts would help guide the way. Alison had not been helpful in the least, resorting to giggles every time she started a sentence, only to finally say, it would all be quite fun in the end.

There was a knock on the door, the one adjoining her room. She walked to the door and opened it slowly. She felt her breath catch when she saw him. She'd rarely seen him look so informal, his cravat gone, his nightshirt loose half untucked from his breeches. His hair was damp and curly, looking wilder than she'd ever seen, his feet bare. He looked younger and more beautiful than she'd ever seen him. He walked with her towards the bed and sat next to her, taking her hand in his. He looked at her then, under his lashes as shly as a young boy and she felt herself drawn to him, placing a soft kiss on his lips. She took a small strand of his hair, curling it with her finger as he smiled at her.

"Are you.." he paused, "that is to say, did you mother discuss what to expect.." he trailed off again, blushing.

"Sir, I was raised on a farm, I'm aware of the mechanics." she replied saucily, feeling the tinge of embarrassment at being thought such an innocent.

He let out a laugh, not expecting that response, and his heart filled with delight and love, he placed a resounding kiss on her lips. They parted, slightly breathless, and he looked at her again, wondering at how he had been allowed such happiness. His hands found the end of her braid and he slowly began to undo it.

"The mechanics?" he repeated to her as his hands continued to work through the braid. Once her hair was free, his hand found its way in the curls and he pulled her in close to him, lips nearly touching. She gave a small nod, feeling breathless at the sudden shift in tone - no longer sweet and innocent, but heady and full of sinful promise. "Let's see about those mechanics then," and then he crushed his lips to hers, and she found that while Alison and her mother were not wrong in their description, there were a few better adjectives that could have been used.

They awoke late the next morning after a rather late night, working out the various "mechanics" of it all, as he had teased. Charlotte found herself curled tightly into his arms, feeling the tickle of his chest hair on her back. She felt a kiss on her shoulder and when she turned to face him, she found his eyes already open. He leaned into her giving her a small kiss, his hands running down the length of her side. Her body hummed in pleasure and she felt amazed she could feel this way so soon after everything the night before. He pulled himself away before he got too carried away.

"And are you happy, Mrs. Colbourne?" he asked, a soft smile playing on his lips. Her heart felt so full she felt as though it would burst.

"Perfectly."