Grey Area

It was time to pace myself a little better now.

Now that I'd thoroughly riled the guards up enough to never want to stop chasing me, the new goal was just to make sure they kept on my trail. It didn't matter to me how fast they were going.

Morning arrived, with the sun casting beautiful rays and shadows through the trees. I jogged to a stop, happy to be back in a familiar area. This was the same one we'd traipsed through last night, where the dry creek bed wasn't too far. I'd led them in a big circle, more or less. I needed this to be my current stopping point.

I took an arrow out of my quiver, and stabbed it into the earth. Quietly and without leaving clear prints, I climbed up into a pine tree as best I could. The needles and stiff branches stabbed at me, but it was perfect cover.

The guards came into view, and they noticed my arrow quickly.

"She was here guys," one of them said.

"No shit, Sherlock," another grumbled.

"She's close, too. This toothpick wasn't here last night. Not that I saw."

"Which means we can finally rest for a bit," another guard said, wiping sweat from his forehead. "While the going is good. Can't track her down if we drop dead."

"I know, I know. Um…That clearing over there looks good. Let's set up a fire, cook some breakfast, take a load off."

None of them argued, all too eager to stop for even a second. From my position, I could see where they were setting up camp. Now, it was my turn to do the same. I climbed down, quiet as can be. There was a light breeze this morning, and it rattled the other branches around us, creating a bit of cover noise for me.

I hiked towards the ridge, climbed around it, and went down into the valley. Standing by the creek-bed, I took a swig from my canteen and munched on some trail mix. After that, I jumped to the other side of the creek and sat down against the river bank. From here, I could see smoke from the guards' campfire. They wouldn't find me down here given that I didn't leave a clear trail for this part.

Exhaling, allowing the last of my adrenaline to crash, I laid down on my side, ready for a decent one or two hours of sleep. If the guards moved on without me, I would find them again easily – they weren't exactly subtle sons of bitches – and the chase would be back on.

Just two more days of this, and then I would ditch them.

I worked so hard to get that prison back. Me and my people worked our asses off for it, and we deserved it. I just wanted to go home and be with them, and the man I loved. Was that too much to fucking ask?

"I don't know but I been told, this goddamn chase is getting old!"

Apparently it was, because I was still out here messing with these idiots.

"I don't know but I been told, Woodbury's men ain't got no scrote!"

Something told me they didn't appreciate my "singing", because they randomly fired bullets in my general direction out of pure frustration. It was coming to the end of day two now, and they were tired, the poor babies. And they were also pissed. Well, guess fucking what.

So was I. Pissed off at them, and myself. I had to change course so many times in the last few hours because of them. The original plan was to keep as east as possible, but before I knew it, I was driving them further north. This wasn't necessarily terrible, because we were still headed away from Woodbury and avoiding the prison. But it meant that the walk back, after I was done here, would take a lot longer than intended. Ugh, nothing I could do about it now.

What spurred this change of course was one of the guards branching away from the others. I did a head count of these guys quite often to ensure they were keeping up, until one of them disappeared on me. When I found him following one of my more recent trails, I realized what he'd been trying to do.

He wanted to move in an arc around me, cutting off my next path. Okay, I had to hand it to him how smart that was, but god it was a pain in my ass. I had to keep track of him and his group almost separately. My plans for resting again were interrupted when I'd heard him coming my way.

It didn't end well for him. Understanding that I could be ambushed by this guy, or even get myself trapped between him and the others, I realized I didn't have much of a choice in the matter. I made a trail for the other guards to follow, veering them away from the inevitable confrontation. When they were taken care of, I caught up to the lone soldier. I gave him fair warning, telling him to turn around and leave.

He fired round after round from his assault rifle, while I ducked and dodged between the trees. He moved in tandem with me, mercilessly trying to get a shot in. He wasn't focusing, just shooting as if he had a Gatling gun in his hands. He put himself out in the open while I used the environment to my advantage. Once I had my opening, I brought out my revolver and took a single shot. Right between his eyes. Before the remaining guards could zero in on all of the noise, I looted his body for bullets, food, water, anything, and not finding much anyway.

And that's why we were now moving north. All due to one of the guards who suddenly got wise.

I decided to mix things up a little. Just like what Merle and I had talked about, I either went in a straight line or did wide arcs. But for my sake, in certain places, I decided to leave a cluster of trails and markers. It made the guards stop every now and then in order to untangle the numerous boot prints I made. This not only allowed me some more time to rest while they unraveled my nonsense, but it also gave me time to think.

What the hell was I supposed to do with these guys once the three days were up?

For years and years, I stuck to the same morals. Only kill out of self-defense, or to protect people. Never kill unless I had cause. It was simple, really. Though I didn't want the Governor dead, we knew what needed to be done in order prevent a shit-ton of tragedy from inevitably happening. I also didn't want to kill that guard, but he was practically cornering me and could've shot me.

I had no doubt that the other guards would kill me on sight, too. If they ever even caught a glimpse of me, that is. They weren't physically aiming at me right now, though. And I knew that's where the grey area was.

I really didn't want to kill these last three guys. Not unless absolutely necessary.

Day three rolled around.

I slowed to a stop, and put my hands on my knees. My breathing was labored, coming out in exasperated huffs. Oh, and I was tired. Very fucking tired.

I was meant to be out here. Surviving? Alone? Out in the wilderness? This was my forte. But it didn't mean that I was meant to be pursued for nearly seventy-two hours straight.

The last twenty-four hours in particular had been goddamn interesting. Not only did these ass-hats come close to shooting me on two or three occasions, but we all kept running into small herds of walkers. It had to happen sooner or later. We were due to see some.

Now that the guards were finally a good distance away, this was where I intended to leave them for good. We were really close to Atlanta now, and this area was crawling with walkers. It was some sort of 'Red Zone', as one of the guards called it. We'd been seeing walkers throughout the last several hours, on and off. Probably attracted to all the gunfire. Speaking of gunfire, I was really damned tired of hearing it.

Just ahead of me, beyond the edges of a clearing that was overgrown with tall grass, came a loud shot from a hunting rifle, with a single bullet being fired into the air. Someone was hiding in the brush, and they just attracted the guards in my direction once again. This was a problem, because when I lost them, I had no idea which direction they decided to go in. I didn't need to know at the time, because they were no longer going to be my problem. But now…

I booked it, as fast as my legs could carry me. Not only because I needed to get away from the area and from a random sniper now, but also because I truly didn't know which direction would even be best for me.

The ground tore beneath my boots as I skidded to a halt in the center of the clearing. The guards stalked out of the woods, one on my left, one on my right, and one in front of me. The only direction I could go now was backtracking, and I sure as shit wasn't going to take my eyes off of my opponents.

They were still a good distance away, not close enough to get a good shot on me. Although, if they did it wouldn't be fatal, but I would still be wounded. They took their sweet time coming towards me, as if wanting to enjoy it.

I ducked down. I was just short enough that only the top of my head could be seen over the grass. I heard the stomping of their boots as they picked up their pace. I took out my revolver, and only peeked my head up to take shot after shot. Two bullets hit their targets. One left to go.

Someone shot the rifle again.

The third and final guard dropped dead.

I stood up, and went around to each body. I wasn't too worried about the rifleman, realizing that if they'd intended to shoot me, they would've done so already. That said, I was still eager to see who it was. After I inspected the bodies to make sure they each had headshots, it was time to greet my unexpected guest.

I glanced around the clearing. All was quiet. "You gonna come out," I asked loudly. "Or are you planning on shooting me, too?"

There was movement just to my left, where one of the bodies was laying. My revolver was holstered, but I kept my hand on it as I spun to face…

"Holy shit," I muttered, a half-grin spreading across my face.

She hadn't changed much, aside from her grey hair getting slightly longer, and sporting a few scars here and there. While she looted the body she was currently standing over, she spared me a glance.

"Hi, Layla," Carol greeted before getting back to her task.

"Yeah," I said, still processing the fact that she all but appeared out of nowhere. "Hi. Uh…Man, you're alive!"

She chuckled a little. "Well, don't sound so surprised. 'Even I know you'll do just fine.'" She looked up at me. "Isn't that what you said?"

I nodded. "And I sure as hell meant it."

She stood up, and went to the next body. She had gained a bit more muscle since autumn, but she was still pretty thin. As she knelt down, she kept having to adjust the rifle slung over her back, with the strap already being adjusted to the tightest setting.

I tilted my head, realization setting it. "Wait," I said. She looked at me, but didn't stop looting. "Those gunshots…Why were you firing off rounds?"

She raised a brow. "To get those men over here. Out in the open to deal with them."

"Okay, but why? What interest were they to you?"

She stopped what she was doing, staring up at me, still very confused. "To kill them. They were attacking you."

"Yeah," I nodded once, feeling just a little bit frustrated. "They were attacking me at that moment. Because you were shooting into the air. I was trying to ditch them, and you led them right to me."

She exhaled harshly, and stood up. She walked towards me until we were standing a foot apart. "I did it so it would be easier to get shots on them. Between running for your life or facing them, which would you rather choose?"

I ran a hand down my face, an irritated groan escaping me. "Carol," I said. "This wasn't my intention. I wasn't even running for my life, not until you fired the rifle. I was leading them on a chase. One that was ending."

She nodded once. "We ended it. You and I."

I shook my head and pointed to each body. "They were just amateur soldiers, following orders. If I needed to kill them, I would have, but on my terms. They've been my responsibility for the past three days." I lowered my arm. "Not yours."

Her brows were knitted together, and I knew she was failing to see it from my point of view. "You and I just took down a threat. Why mourn for them?"

"I'm not mourning for them," I clarified. "I get that you were trying to protect me, but this wasn't part of the plan if it coulda been avoided."

She chuckled under her breath. "Has Daryl ever mentioned you're a bit of a control freak?"

"Oh, shut the hell up," I all but growled. "I know that already. And it's for good reason. I'm the only one keeping myself safe out here."

"Well, today you had me," she said, crossing her arms. "And I know you had it under control. I've been watching things from the sidelines."

My eyes widened. "You've been following me? And the guards?"

She nodded. "I was trying to see what the hell was going on, and I caught on quickly. The way you practically had them on a hook like you were reeling in a fish. Still don't see why, though."

"Their boss," I explained. "Real evil son of a bitch. We get his more loyal dogs outa the way, while someone moves in on him."

She was thoughtful for a bit, and then she nodded again. "That makes sense. So why not kill them to begin with and save yourself the energy?" She gave me a once-over with just her eyes. "You look like you're almost out of it."

I pinched the bridge of my nose in exasperation. "I'm not explaining it again. I-I see what you're saying, but it wasn't necessary to kill them."

Suddenly, for whatever reason, she switched topics on me. "You don't like me very much, do you," she asked.

The way she said it…She wasn't insulted, just direct and a little curious. And she stared at me, waiting for a response. I found myself glancing around the clearing, almost looking for an answer, because I was not expecting her to ever ask me that.

I exhaled. "I…It's complicated to explain. I just don't think you and I will ever get along. I mean, I don't hate you whatsoever, but… Neutral. Yeah. That's how I feel towards you."

The noise she made was a short grunt, very dubious-sounding. But she nodded anyway. "That's about how I feel towards you, I'd say." She uncrossed her arms, and gestured to the guards. "So what next? Now that this is over and done with."

I cracked my knuckles and stretched my arms above my head. "Now?" I dropped my arms, and smiled at her. "I'm going home. If everything went the way it should…" I looked out at the treeline, in the direction of the prison. "…Then I'll have done my job. They'll be safe now. Oh," I exclaimed. "We're all doing okay, by the way. Most of us survived the winter. We have a home now. You…should…" I trailed off, really looking at her.

Her demeanor spoke volumes. Straight spine, squared shoulders, hand resting comfortably but not recklessly over her gun holster. A holster that held the old revolver I'd given her. She held herself with steady confidence that bordered on pride.

I tilted my head slightly. "This isn't necessarily a reunion, is it?"

She grinned a little, and shook her head. "No. I just thought I'd lend a hand." She scoffed, but in good humor. "And this is the thanks I get."

"But you're family," I said. "You'd be welcomed there."

"No," she repeated more firmly. "No, I was dead weight, Layla."

"You were doing great with a gun-"

"But that only gets you so far," she interrupted. "The skills to survive, the ability to kill, the motivation to do anything that needs done…I couldn't do any of it back then." She shrugged. "But now I can. Out here. I can't do that if I'm sheltered or coddled."

I scowled. "We don't coddle each other, but we do care about each other." Some memories came to mind, and rather abruptly, too. I let my arms hang loosely at my sides. "…Is that what you meant by that? That you belong out here?"

"Almost," she said. "We belong out here, Layla. Not Rick, not Dale, not...my daughter. You, me, the type of people we are." She shook her head slowly. "Civilization is dead. There's no rebuilding it. We aren't meant for that."

My mouth was a thin line. "I don't disagree," I said slowly. "At all. There's a reason why people call me an animal. But there are people that I care about, who actually give a damn about me. That kind of thing is hard to come by for someone like me. It's my job to have their backs." I paused. "But I can't stay inside any walls forever. So, I find a balance, of being out here alone, and then being with them. It's called compromise."

She chuckled, this time almost condescending. "You really think there's room in the world for that anymore?"

"I sure as hell can hope so." I exhaled. "But you don't see it that way, do you?"

"No," she said. "I think it's pretty cut and dry now. And that's why I can't come back with you. I don't think you fit in with all of that, so how can I? I'm not the same person I was at the farm."

I laughed once, humorlessly. "Oh, believe me, I see that. And it's...it's none of my damn business at the end of the day."

The smile she gave me now was a warm one. We weren't seeing eye to eye at all, but…I realized we were both trying. During my first go-round, it wasn't that I ever blew Carol off. I just assumed that I knew her way of thinking. Selfish and downright murderous at times. I think…I was wrong to some degree. Or at least in this moment I was.

She didn't kill these guards for the sake of it. She did it to protect me.

She didn't disappear to abandon the group. She did it for our sake, and for hers.

However, the problem was that she just didn't know where the balance between survival and humanity was. And it was hard for me to fault her for that, especially if she had deliberately been alone all winter.

I wasn't justifying it. Despite what I thought was a better understanding of her, I still didn't agree, and I probably never would. But for the first time in - technically - years, I could honestly say that Carol and I were trying to see each other's points of view.

That was good enough for me.

I sighed. "Well, you were right. I'm exhausted. And I need to get back to them." I pointed southerly. "In that general direction, about an hour by car, is a-"

"A prison," she cut me off. "I know. I've been keeping tabs on all of you on and off. How do you think I managed to find you? I tracked all of you to that correctional facility." She shrugged. "Not a bad place for shelter, all in all."

"Okay, wow. That makes sense," I muttered, impressed. "Anyway. You'll always be welcomed there."

"I know," she said. "Thank you."

Before we went our separate ways, I said, "Good luck out here, Carol."

She gave me that warm smile again. "You, too."