Notes & Warnings:

Angst: You're in for an emotional rollercoaster, so there's going to be lots of angst, but I do try to balance it out with fluff and comic relief. But this fic will be dealing with some heavy themes, like mental illness and sexual assault.

Sexually Explicit: Not a lot of smut, but I realize that it's not everyone's cup of tea, so I do indicate where you can skip the sex scenes without missing any of the plot.

Strong Language: As you might realize from the first line of this fic, our characters are not going to have a lot of filters.

Most important: There are going to be references to sexual assault, or implied sexual assault in some chapters. There are not going to be any graphic details, but do take care as you read if you choose to do so. There will be chapter-specific warnings for these.

and without further ado, the first chapter!

Prologue

In which an accident changes everything.

What the fuck?

What… the… fuck?

"Sakura-chan. Tell me you're lying," Naruto pleads with her, eyes desperate.

"Naruto. I'm not you. I am not going to lie to you about this," Sakura responds, disgruntled.

"Could you please just check again? Maybe you missed something?" Naruto asks her again. Amid the desperation, there is fear in her eyes that is barely concealed. Sakura softens. Despite being the hero of the shinobi world, Naruto is still only human. Sakura presses a hand to her forehead, trying to ease her headache.

"Naruto," Sakura begins softly, "it's not the end of the world. You have the option of terminating—"

"No!" Naruto yells, wide-eyed. Naruto fights back tears. She is in a very foreign situation that she cannot get out of by just fighting an enemy. She doesn't even know who the enemy is. If there is an enemy at all. Naruto drops a hand to her belly.

"I can't…" Naruto looks down at the hand cradling her belly. "It's my… baby. I-it's my chance at having a… family," she whispers the word almost reverently. Then her face falls. "It's also…" Naruto bites her lip, looking nervously at Sakura. "I'm so sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean to. I thought if I just forgot about it, it would all be okay. B-but it's also Sasuke's baby… Whether Sasuke is ready for a child or not, I don't think I could terminate it knowing one of his goals is to restore his clan. I'm so sorry, Sakura, I know you love him and I don't know what happened that night! I'm just the worst friend."

Sakura had a suspicion that it was Sasuke. Who else would it be, really? She sees genuine regret in Naruto's eyes, and she cannot bring herself to feel angry or resentful towards her. Sakura has known for a long while now that though Naruto and Sasuke seem all too happy to go at each other's throats every other day, they also seem to need each other at the same time. The day Sakura finally realized that Sasuke would never be hers was one that was painful but unsurprising.

It had been a day like any other. Sasuke had come back to visit briefly between his redemption trips. They were at their old training ground, lounging. Sakura and Sasuke were sitting together, watching as Naruto and Sai had it out. In the middle of their spar, Sai had caught Naruto off guard and she fell backward to the ground. She smirked as she tripped Sai and he lost balance and fell on top of her, ending up in a very compromising position. This was not unusual between fights, and Sakura hadn't understood why Sasuke had flinched at that moment. Not a second passed and Sasuke was suddenly next to Naruto, pulling Sai off of her and sending him flying back against the trees. Sasuke had punched him with such force that Sai was heard crashing against multiple trees before the sounds stopped. Then, as if nothing unusual happened, Sasuke was back and took a seat next to Sakura, leaving a completely baffled Naruto behind to stare after him. The murderous look in Sasuke's eyes was all Sakura needed to see to realize she never had any chance with him. Sasuke had been Naruto's since they were 12. Perhaps even before.

"Naruto." Sakura lifts her hand and cups Naruto's cheek. "I'm sad, but I don't hold it against you. I know it's not in your nature to do something like that. Besides, I've moved on from Sasuke-kun, so it's all good." Sakura smiles warmly at Naruto. She means every word. Naruto still looks guilty.

"So," Sakura continues, hoping to change the subject, "what are you going to do? Sasuke-kun will be coming back soon, right?."

"I.. don't know. I might not tell him right now."

Incredulous, Sakura knocks Naruto's head. "Baka! You need to tell him soon. He'll want to know!"

"Oww." Naruto massages her head. "You can't hit a pregnant woman, Sakura-chan!"

"Stop being a baby, Naruto." Sakura sighs. In a more serious tone, she asks, "Why won't you tell him?"

Naruto looks away. Sakura thinks she sees a pained expression on Naruto's face before it vanishes. Naruto has never allowed anyone to see her pain, and it hurts her that Naruto still doesn't trust Sakura enough to let her guard down. Sakura knows it has nothing to do with her, but it still hurts.

"It's just… I don't think I can ever see his face again after what happened. Neither of us meant for it to happen! I just— never in a million years did I think I'd end up having s-s-s-s-s-s-"

"Sex?" Sakura finishes for her, raising an eyebrow. Naruto nods vigorously, her face turning a deep shade of red.

"I just know he was very disgusted when he woke up the next morning. The fact that he had just left for another mission the day after would make even more sense if that was the case," she mumbles, glum.

"Naruto…" Sakura starts, unsure of what to say. She hates that Naruto sees herself that way. Sakura sighs, exasperated. Sakura doesn't think these two will get together anytime soon. They are both too oblivious to their feelings towards the other.

Then, something occurs to Sakura. "Was that your first time, Naruto?"

Naruto nods hesitantly, and Sakura becomes concerned. If Naruto's first sexual encounter was one where Naruto didn't mean for it to happen...

"Tell me what happened," Sakura orders Naruto. She loved Naruto like she was her own sister, and she would not let Naruto experience more pain than she already has. Kami only knows she's been through enough. If Sasuke had really taken advantage of her… However unlikely as she thinks that might be, Sakura still starts thinking of twenty different ways she can possibly make Sasuke's life a living hell.

Naruto avoids meeting Sakura's eyes, red still adorning her cheeks. "There's not much to tell. You know that party we were all at? I don't remember everything that happened. We were both drunk, and— a-and—" Naruto stops, glancing at Sakura with guilt in her eyes. "Things happened, I don't think either of us were in control of ourselves. I don't know how it happened. When I woke up, naked in his bed, the teme was just staring at me. The pervert. I ran away hoping we could forget about it and never speak of it again…"

"How do you feel about the whole thing, Naruto?" Sakura asks, carefully.

Naruto looks at her incredulously. "What do you mean how I feel about that whole thing!? Having a baby was something I thought I'd be doing when I'm way older. I am trying to be Hokage! How can I become Hokage when I have a child, Sakura-chan? Then there's Sasuke. There's no telling how he would react. He probably wanted to forget the whole thing, and now I'm going to just push a whole baby onto him and—"

A look of horror dawns upon her face. "Sakura-chan, isn't he coming back tomorrow?"

...

-to be continued-

Author's Notes

My first fic! This is a trope I've been wanting to play with for a while now, and I couldn't find a good one to read so I'm writing my own. If you guys do know some good fics please send them my way!

PS I LOVE REVIEWS! BUT. While I appreciate hearing your thoughts about my fic, if you have criticisms, please be constructive about them. Tell me what you find issues with, and why. If you're simply going to throw insults, and have nothing nice to say, please save your time. I'll just delete them. This fic is something I put a lot of thought and effort into, and the issues that this fic deals with are quite close to my heart, so please take that into consideration. As the saying goes, don't like, don't read!