Chapter Twenty-Two
His father waited for him out in the Queen's Garden.
Zagreus was not told this, but he knew. Just as Death would come for all mortals, Hades would pass sentencing on all and any who threated to disrupt the order of his domain. The knot inside the demigod's chest tightened as he envisioned what lay before him. With all his might he wanted to pull Than and Meg into his room and barricade them away from everything. He craved at least one more moment with them both, one more embrace where the Cosmos momentarily existed in his bed, in his arms, and made any kind of sense.
But as always, time had other plans for the descendent of Cronus. Thanatos offered to guide Ganymede to Asphodel on his way back to the surface. Death would ensure the shade was placed in Eurydice's care until he could be reunited with his mother. Meg was needed to Tartarus as well. The three furies had never all been absent from their realm at once before, and she expected quite a lot of clean up would need to be done. Each of his partners bade him a casual farewell, as if the day or night were normal and they expected to see him in a few hours.
Zag sighed his own goodbyes to them after he suddenly found himself alone with the God of Sleep.
"Hypnos, I haven't thanked you yet for your part in my rescue," Zagreus stated diplomatically. "I am extremely grateful to have you on my side…especially knowing the Mighty Zeus trembles in your presence."
"Oh, him?" Hypnos replied, his nose wrinkling slightly before resetting to his dreamy default. "He never did like me and Than much. And he and the other Olympians haven't been very nice to Mom. Not like here. Honestly, I never could understand why you were so set on leaving to go there."
"Because I am not as wise as you are, Hypnos," Zag replied earnestly. "I am simply lucky to have so many in my life that are willing to guide me and have not given up on me."
"Give up?" Hypnos asked with a tilted head. "Is that even an option?"
"Not down here, it isn't," Zagreus laughed. He left his brother to his essential duties, trying not to drag his feet on the new tile as he made his way towards his father. He thought about going to Achilles for encouragement and advice, but knew it was mostly just a stall tactic. Zag did make his way to Cerberus, petting all three dozing heads and giving the ear closest to his father's desk an extra scratch.
"Your head hangs heavy, child," the Goddess of the Night greeted as she stood patiently outside his door.
"Nyx…"
Zagreus choked on the name upon taking in his adoptive mother. Tears welled in his eyes as he remembered the loss that had torn at him when he feared he may never see her again. The urge to hug the ethereal matriarch consumed him. He immediately thought better of it. He then did it anyways.
Arms that had never felt the sun encircled him warmly. He buried his head in her neck, eyes closed as he took a deep, comforting breath. Her hair splashed across his cheek as the stars fell around him. Nyx cradled his neck and hummed a soft familiar lullaby. Zagreus gasped out a half-laugh, half-sob as the woman who raised him as her own, who kept every secret from him, who lied to him and fought for him, held him in the way only she knew he needed.
Zagreus eventually pulled back, allowing his fingers to brush away his tears from her celestial locks. Nyx smiled at him furtively. Zag knew better than to try an comprehend its meaning.
"Nyx, thank you. For everything," he finally breathed. "You may not have birthed me, but you gave me my life. I love you."
"The peace we have with the Olympians is tenuous, my child, but it remains intact due to your compassion and bravery," she replied. "I am honored to count you amongst my sons. Know that I would tear the Heavens themselves apart for you if called for."
"I suppose I should be a bit more careful with myself, then," Zag retorted as his face grew warm with affection. Nyx mysterious smile deepened.
"Zagreus, it is time to stop running from your Fate."
Nyx faded into the corner, leaving him alone as he faced the garden door. Zagreus nodded in affirmation and walked forward, never glancing towards the comfort of his room or the distraction of the lounge.
…
Hades, God of the Dead and King of the Underworld, knelt not save for one thing. Large hands that had crushed the skulls of Titans dug gently into the earth, plucking away the unwanted growths that threatened the sparse resources of the garden. He held the spiked clump of leaves and stems in his hand, glaring at it punitively before dropping it to the ground to focus on the next illicit sprouting.
"Blasted weeds are back," he muttered to no one in particular. At least, it was meant to be heard by no one in particular, as no one should have been foolish enough to disrupt him while he worked in the innermost sanctum of his House. As always, however, the spawn of his loins held no regard for his sire's wishes. The king could feel the heterochromatic eyes of his son burning into his back. The elder god said nothing as he continued his meticulous pruning. Zagreus made no sound nor movement. Eventually Hades grunted in irritation.
"You never fail to astound me with your uselessness, boy," he barked, glancing over his shoulder to the door. He was met with the barrier closed and vacant. He frowned, wondering if the madness of his father was finally enveloping him, when a soft thud of a falling basket stole his attention. Zagreus was at his side, picking up the discarded weeds and placing them into the container carefully.
"You're not supposed to just leave these strewn about," Zag stated, focused intently on the dark ground to make sure he did not miss anything. "They're more likely to reseed if you do."
"Do not deign to lecture me about making messes and unwanted pests," Hades growled. "I dare say you have little left to teach me on those topics."
A raw smile flashed upon Zagreus' face at the unexpected jest. The son merely nodded and turned to the line of shrubs that had yet to be tended to. They worked together side by side in a long silence as they culled through the weeds and ensured the roots of Persephone's Garden stayed strong.
Once the basket was full the king stood up, stretching his considerable girth as he massaged the painstaking work out of his muscles. Zagreus, too, stood up straight, and though his posture was pristine his eyes focused vaguely out into the darkness.
"I am ready for my sentencing, Father," Zagreus proclaimed resolutely. Hades gave him a stern look before shaking his head in contempt.
"The pomegranate tree needs its fruit thinned," Hades muttered, turning to the twisted trunk. Zagreus stood still for a moment, mouth open as he grasped for words. He closed it, his brow furrowing in outrage at his father's dismissal.
"Excuse me, did you not hear me, Father?" Zagreus demanded loudly at Hades' turned back.
"I heard you," he responded gruffly as he reached out and began plucking the smaller fruit that crowded too closely to the more established germinations. "Gods forgive us all if someone doesn't hear you."
"Then…then why are you ignoring me? I mean, normally I'd expect that, but after what just happened…"
"I have not ignored you, boy," his father interrupted. "You have just failed to listen to me. As per usual."
Zagreus' face fell into further disbelief by the familiar yet indiscernible critique. He shook his head, determined to own up to his failings and accept responsibility for once in his life. He dashed forward, placing himself in between the King of the Underworld and the ancient pomegranate tree with fierce determination.
"I interfered with the Olympians," Zagreus confessed. "I coaxed Artemis into forgiving her brother to reduce the impact of the Surge. I dedicated the roses to Aphrodite with the precise intention of bringing her back to the mortals to make things better for them, all of which flew counter to Zeus' wishes. My constant need to interfere was the direct causation of my abduction, and nearly wrought a Cosmos-ending civil war."
Hades looked down at his son blankly before stepping around him to tend to the tree. Indignation gripped Zag's chest at his father's aloof response to his confessions.
"I'm the one who lost your Helm of Invisibility!" Zagreus shouted petulantly. Hades froze mid-pick as he absorbed that last revelation.
"You what?" Hades demanded, his quiet rage spilling into the question. Zag's heart fluttered erratically in his chest as he admitted his darkest childhood secret, but he focused instead on finally getting his father's attention.
"When I was a kid, I figured out how to sneak into your chambers and I stole your Helm. I took it and played with it and meant to use it to scare Than but I got distracted and lost it and…well…it's invisible so I never found it again," Zagreus admitted lamely. Hades turned to face his son, and despite everything he had accomplished the demigod felt as small as he had the day he had lost the Helm gifted to his warrior father during the Titanomachy.
"You swore to me that you did not know how to get into my chambers," Hades recounted through barely measured breaths. Zagreus imagined the pressure his father used to clamp his teeth shut could produce enough diamonds to free half the wretches of Tartarus.
"I lied," Zagreus said with reckless simplicity. "I lied. I lied so hard and so often about it that I literally forgot how to get into your chambers until a few months ago."
Hades walked forward, towering over his son. Zagreus stood tall, swallowing his fear as he prepared to take his punishment like the god his loved ones thought he was. Hades' long beard trembled as his lips quivered with rage. Zagreus closed his eyes, and his last thoughts were of how he didn't get to tell his mother goodbye.
"So you did."
Zag knitted his brows together at the final words he was going to hear. Silence followed. Soon, his last thoughts weren't of his mother, but of what was taking his father so long. Zagreus finally gave up his stance and opened his eyes. His father was back to thinning out the tree.
"Father," Zagreus said softly, wrapping his arms around himself loosely as the King of the Dead tended to his wife's garden. "Please. Please, listen to me."
"I have heard you, boy," Hades replied with intense calmness. "I know of your confessions, your infractions and misdeeds. I know of your interference in my Realm, more than you know. I know of the foolish games you played with your cousins, how you overestimated your hand and undervalued your importance. I understand what you almost caused."
Zagreus took a deep breath, the anxiety clearing out of his lungs as he finally arrived at his sentencing.
"And…?" Zag inquired, clenching his fists tightly at his sides to keep himself still.
"And I have already passed my Judgement," Hades declared firmly, grunting slightly as he finally twisted a particularly stubborn blossom from a high branch.
"Which…was?" he dragged out, racking his brain for how even he could have blocked out being told of his own eternal damnation.
"Asphodel," Hades replied irately, dropping the fruit into the basket at his feet. He caught his son's eyes and shook his head. "You are the King of Asphodel, until such time, if ever, when you are to take your place on my throne as God of the Underworld."
The King of the Dead emphasized his statement by shoving the wicker basket into the hands of his stunned first-born. He motioned for him to place the container neatly over by the others. Zagreus followed his father, nearly tripping over his feet as he missed the silent command and took a hard seat on the bench under the pom tree.
"You…you made me King of Asphodel…as a punishment?" Zag inquired in absolute bewilderment. Hades took the basket off his son's lap with a shake of his head before sitting next to him.
"You are King of Asphodel because it is your birthright," Hades sighed. "It was what your mother wished for you when she carried you in her womb, and the station most fitting to you based off your past deeds and…er…talents."
"Asphodel…" Zagreus repeated with a heavy breath. "That's…that's where almost every mortal goes! That's essentially making me King of the Shades! The God of…"
"The God of Life after Death," Hades agreed with a nod.
"That's…that's too much," Zag replied desperately, shaking his head. "Father, I can't! I can't do that, I'm not ready for anything like that!"
The God of the Underworld looked down, his face softening as he saw fear in his son's eyes for the first time. The elder king sighed. Hades reached his hand up to the clasp of the large armored skull that covered his right shoulder. Zagreus gazed up as his father discarded the shielding and revealed scores of puncture wounds around a disfigured mound of flesh. It dawned on Zag with slow horror what he was seeing.
Bitemarks…
"I was the first of Cronus' children. The first to be devoured in order to save himself from the prophesy that he would be overturned by his offspring. For countless millennia I lay at waste inside him, catching my siblings one by one as they were born and swallowed. As I caught the stone that Rhea had swapped for Zeus, my sisters and brother gave into hope. I had none. What hope was to be had? I was the last to be dispelled from my father's stomach when Zeus finally went about saving us to have allies in his bid for the throne. I survived by my anger, my hatred, and my drive for revenge. I was not good for much, but I could kill.". Hades clutched his hand in emphasis before continuing.
"When the war ended and I was given what I mistook to be the least of the three realms, my rage consumed me. An empty land to be filled with souls of the dead, many of whom were there at my hand, and I was expected to tend to them. It was a long time, too long, until Nyx finally convinced me to actually rule my kingdom. It took me thousands of years to even begin to understand what my lot truly meant, what the Underworld was. For I was not given the short stick, the worst of the realms, stuck underground as punishment for my monstrous ways. I was made King, the true King, of all that was to be. Zeus lords over the heavens, proclaims himself ruler of the Gods and of the Earth, but of what matter is that? All eventually reside here. Even the gods themselves will meet such a fate."
"It was when I finally accepted my true purpose that I realized how impossible such a task would be to do alone. Nyx wanted nothing to do with ruling after she was freed from such a burden. I did all in my power to improve and forge the Underworld, but I could barely keep it afloat. I did the best I could, not for my own pride or self-fulfillment or any kind of glory, but because it was my duty. Because it had to be done, and because the Cosmos deserved better than it had been getting."
Zagreus' heart sank in his chest as his father spoke to him with powerful vulnerability. His eyes remained glued to the scars that covered the deity he had grown up thinking was invincible.
"I have been a poor father to you, Zagreus," Hades admitted sadly. "When your mother and I married, when we truly became husband and wife, it was the brightest nine months of my life. When you arrived stillborn and she fled in despair…I could not bring myself to go after her. I had failed as a husband, failed as a king…and then Nyx presented me with a child, a boy, a son, who encompassed every trait I loved of his mother, and inherited everything I hated about myself. It was…well, I suppose you were a reminder of…and I saw such as just… saw you as another…instead of what you really…"
Zagreus' eyes widened as he realized his father was struggling with tears. His body flushed heavily with the raw openness between them. The younger king craned down, unable to look at his father in the face. He was ashamed of his cowardness, but for once he did not know how to ease the suffering of someone who was reaching out to him. His eyes focused instead on his feet as he steadied his breathing. Zagreus felt himself grow dizzy as his vision blurred. For a moment he worried he might pass out as he noticed a severe augmentation in his left foot. Then, suddenly, it hit him that he was staring at both his and his father's flaming feet. Together.
The Heir to the Underworld smiled, and carried such a gesture upward to meet his King's eye.
"Despite all of this…despite me, or perhaps in spite of me…you have grown and fought and become more powerful and capable then I ever thought possible. No one is ever truly ready to rule, but you are wrong to think you cannot. You are the god this realm needs, deserves. And you will not rule alone."
Tears stained Zag's face as he held his smile.
"Thank you, Father," he said before he could help himself.
"For what, boy?" Hades inquired with a soft reserve.
For saving me when I needed you most. For finally opening up with me, sharing with me, explaining things to me. For admitting to your failings. For seeing me as more than just a fuck up. For trying to connect with me which is all I have ever wanted from you. For being proud of who I have become…
"…for not eating me," Zag finished quietly.
Hades stared blankly into his son's face. Zagreus shrank back a bit, cursing himself for the stupid and insensitive joke that slipped past his lips because he wasn't strong enough to say anything real.
The God of the Dead's face shattered into a smile. His chest began to shake, and soon the garden echoed with his deep, unrestrained laughter. Zagreus, too, exploded into relieved joy, unable to release the tight feelings in his heart any other way. Their shared hilarity filled the otherwise silent space as the two Kings of the Underworld forged their bond closer.
"Oh, fuck," Zagreus finally expressed, still grinning as he threw his head into his hands dramatically. "Asphodel."
"Asphodel," Hades nodded in agreement.
"You gave me a giant burning wasteland," Zagreus accused with a cocked brow.
"And Chthonia was a cold, barren place when I arrived," Hades shrugged. "Make it not."
Zagreus thought about the channels of lava pooling around thin islands and collapsed caves, filled with death barges and bone hydras and wretches of all sorts.
"Is everything in Asphodel mine to rule?" Zagreus asked suddenly. "Even…even the resources? The jewels and treasure that ends up there?"
Hades nodded, and Zag got the unusual feeling his father was glad of his thought process.
"The resources of Asphodel are yours to do with what you wish. Keep in mind, however, that such is your income now, so spend and distribute wisely," Hades warned.
"How…how is this going to work?" Zagreus inquired as he started thinking more deeply about their situation "How am I King of Asphodel while you are King of the Underworld?"
"You must abide by the overarching laws of the Underworld," Hades stated. "Mainly ensuring no shades leave and no mortals enter. Outside of Asphodel you will have no active authority, other then that of which you have always had…"
"So, none," Zagreus interrupted.
"…but for Asphodel itself," Hades continued with rolled eyes, "you will have full autonomy of rule within the boundaries of Underworld Law."
Zagreus breathed out deeply. It was a lot…a third of his father's lot to be exact. A third of what was secretly the largest, ever-expanding, and most critical realm of the Cosmos.
"What if I mess up?"
"You will. You will make mistakes and others will hate you for it. Prepare yourself for that now, so you can navigate over your pride and adapt quickly when it hits."
Zagreus raised his eyebrows at the response.
"That is…shockingly good advice," Zagreus proclaimed theatrically. Hades chuckled.
"Perhaps now that you don't necessarily have to listen to me, you may be more inclined to learn I have picked up a thing or two during my aeons of rule here," his father replied sagely. "And…perhaps now that you will no longer be forced into my custody, I might make such proclamations more palatable, in the hopes that you will occasionally seek out my guidance and repeat fewer of my mistakes."
Zagreus took a deep breath to keep from laughing at his absurd interpretation of his father's quips.
He's worried I won't need him…worried that he'll miss me.
It was all too bizarre to even contemplate.
"Perhaps," Zagreus gifted simply, though his heart floated lightly in his chest.
They continued to sit in silence, the dancing lights of the garden the only movement in sight. Zagreus could scarcely take it all in. He was a king. He was responsible for the well-being of countless shades, a population that would only continue to grow until the end of life itself. And after that? Well, there was no knowing until the day or night it came to pass.
It was a lot to process. Too much. There were so many things that needed to be done. He always castigated his father's short comings on tending to the shades' needs. Now that such a responsibility lay on his shoulders, he felt like he would collapse under the weight. It was all up to him.
You are the god this realm needs, deserves. And you will not rule alone.
Zagreus couldn't help but smile as his father's words came back to comfort him so quickly. He turned to look at the God of the Dead, staring stoically outwards towards the gate as if waiting for someone. The King of Asphodel's smile deepened.
"Have you ever considered having another go at it?" Zag asked with a sly grin.
"Go at what?" his father inquired gruffly.
"Having another child with Mother. Another son or…or maybe a daughter?" Zagreus suddenly found himself longing painfully at the idea of having a little sister.
Hades turned to his son with gentle disbelief splashed across his face.
"You think it a good idea for me to father another child?" the elder king asked incredulously. "You?"
"Well, I don't know about a good idea," Zagreus replied quickly. He nudged his father's impossibly large arm to emphasize his jest.
"Look, you definitely weren't the most involved or supportive father to me, and that has been a challenge for us both," the younger king pronounced honestly. "But things are different now. You have Mother, you have…me. And while, yes, you weren't great, even at your worst you were much better then…then you could have been."
Zag bit down on his tongue, resolute to leave Zeus off his mind as much as possible. Hades stared at his son, his face set in stone as he held his gaze.
"We have, actually. Considered it," Hades replied slowly. Zag's brows shot up in mild surprise.
"Really?" he asked. "And what…erm…where did you land as far as all that?"
"We have not decided to try," Hades began slowly. "We shared concerns about…"
"Surely not about another stillbirth," Zagreus proclaimed in the way one who has never experienced such a thing does. "If Nyx could revive me she can certainly do so again…"
"…how fair such a thing would be to you," Hades completed flatly.
Zagreus' stumbled over his words. They worried about him?
Despite the hard-wired instinct to immediately prove his father wrong, Zagreus took a moment to consider their fears. How would he feel seeing his mother tend to a baby knowing she never held him in such a way? What would happen to the fragile bond he was forging with his father if he saw Hades giving his affection easily to another child? How would he relate towards a sibling being raised by their biological parents, his biological parents? Never knowing the emptiness he had felt in his youth? Taking for granted and reaping the rewards Zagreus died dozens of times for?
"That is an incredibly stupid reason," Zagreus responded thoughtfully. Hades raised an eyebrow.
"Is it now?" he inquired lightly.
"Monumentally," Zag expounded. "Almost enough for me to caution you from reproducing in case my poor brother or sister inherits such madness."
"Hrn," Hades responded non-committedly, the corner of his beard raised slightly.
"I would love for you and Mother to have more children," Zagreus insisted openly. "They would be incredibly cherished and spoiled by their older brother. Plus, it may temporarily scratch my itch of having my own baby."
Hades' face fell hard.
"Do. Not. Procreate," he demanded sternly. "That is an order from your father and your King. Such an entity will surely cause the End of Days."
Zagreus shrugged, his grin filling his face.
"Probably," he agreed. "But they would be great."
"No," Hades continued unrelentingly. The King of Asphodel chuckled.
"Alright, I guess I will just have to leave you and Mother to it then."
"Leave us to what, my son?"
Zagreus jumped to his feet immediately upon hearing the familiar voice.
"Mother!"
Queen Persephone walked into the garden in her simple white and green peplos. Suddenly the area grew brighter, the trees greener and the blossoms fuller. Zagreus knew and noticed none of this. In a moment he was beside her, pulling her into his arms before he even realized he had moved. She smelled of growth and warmth.
His mother laughed and the sound filled his heart. She stroked his hair, kissed his cheek, and pulled back with a loving smile.
"I hear you have caused quite the stir in our family, Zagreus," she said light-heartedly. "I'm gone for one week and you try to upend the natural order of the Cosmos?"
"A gross exaggeration of events," Zag replied with an easy wave of his hand. "Honestly, where did you hear such gossip from, Mother?"
"Hermes, quickly followed by Athena," the Queen proclaimed with a grin. "Your cousin wished to return this after taking it when you weren't looking."
Persephone held out the worn coiled whip. Zagreus immediately reached for his empty hip.
"She apologized profusely for such a dishonorable disarmament, and prays that you understood her precarious position," Persephone continued.
"I am just grateful to have it returned. I doubt no amount of time in the Styx would have healed my wounds if Meg found out I had lost this," he said with a more-than-half-honest grin. His smile widened when he realized his mother didn't seem to fully hear him. Her green eyes were locked with the fiery red irises of her husband. Zagreus took an unassuming step back.
"Persephone," Hades called quietly, as if worried if he spoke too loud the vision before him would disappear. "We weren't expecting you to return until the end of the harvest."
"There is much work to be done, to be sure," the queen smiled. "But not so much that I can't return here for a quick visit from time to time."
"And Demeter…" he inquired hesitantly.
"…understands the drive to be reunited with one's family," she assured confidently.
"Hrn," he responded with a nod. He then held out his hand for her to take. Her small fingers stroked his palm before they were secured in his gentle hold.
Zagreus smiled warmly at his parents before clearing his throat.
"It would be best for me to find Meg and return this soon," he said as he began heading towards the door to the House.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay with us a little longer?" his mother implored kindly. Zag shook his head.
"I wasn't kidding about the amount of peril I'd be in if I did not return with this," he replied, waving the coiled whip for emphasis. "But, promise me you'll find me before you leave again?"
"As you wish, King Zagreus" she conceded, bowing her head in tease. Zagreus gave out a short laugh before pulling her in for a last hug. He hurried for the door, elated to give his parents time together. He needed to think, anyways, about all that lay before him and all that he had done. He wasn't sure how or where even to start, but he knew without a doubt that this new chapter in his life was part of what he had always been waiting for.
"Zagreus…son," Hades called out just as Zag was about to shut the door. The King of Asphodel smiled genuinely as he turned to face his sire.
"Yes, Father?" he answered hopefully.
"Find my Helm. Now."