Dear Kurosaki Kun

by Tayomi Sakuri

"Dear Kurosaki-Kun..." A series of letters from the Bleach cast to our favourite Substitute Shinigami :D Extreme randomness included! DISCLAIMER:Very,very,VERY strong Orihime-hate.Written by me and XxHibirdxX

5. Abarai Renji

Sixth Division Headquarters
Soul Society
Abarai Renji
Vice-Captain of the Sixth Division

Dear Kurosaki-Kun,
*What? Why am I saying this? And I have to follow Captain Kuchiki's style...* *angrily crosses it out* (this is the proper format)

ICHIGO!
You LOUSY, INCOMPETENT (I learnt this word from Captain Kuchiki) USELESS SUBSTITUTE SHINIGAMI!
How can you get so much skren time when you can't even use Kido? You are so week, even the koi in Captain Kuchiki's koi pond can defeat you!
Unlike you, I, Abarai Renji, Vice-Captain of the 6th Division, am much more capable than that!

Not only are my Kido skeells far more infeeriur than yours, I can even tweak it around and use it for purposes besides battle. When we entered Hueco Mundo, I used my amazing Kido skills to light our way through the tunnel. I know it was a small light. I know you were all laffing at me. But let me tell you this. IT WAS ON PURPOSE. I, after considering all possibeelitys of what could happen if I let loose all my raw, insane power and cast the Hado spell with too much force, decided to limit my energy to produce the insufficient light to light our way through the tannel.
As for my amazing swordsmanship, my Zabimaru beats your Zangetsu any day! My Zabimaru looks so cool and it's shape is so COOL and it is basically way cooler than yours. Unlike your Zangetsu, which looks so ordinary, ugly and plain and UNCOOL, like a giant froot knife! My Zabimaru is so much cooler and so much more powerful and cool! If I had more skreentime, I would have the chance to display my Zabimaru's amazing abilities. You took more than two episodes to defeat Ulquiorra... Now if the directors let me do the job, I would've finished him off in less than an episode! Less than 10 mins! Unlike you!

Most importantly, I don't get why you have so many fangirls. When I'm so much cooler than you. I deserve more fangirls than you!

All in all, I Abarai Renji, Vice-Captain of the 6th Division, am much more capable than you, Kurosaki Ichigo, the useless Substitute Shinigami. I have said my piece. I will beat you up and elope with Rukia (how do you put a strike through o.o) the next time I see you.

Yours Truly,
Abarai Renji

Ichigo's Reply:
Of course the battle between you and Ulquiorra would take less than 10 minutes... Because you would've been killed by then .
And what a WIDE range of vocabulary and nice spelling there, Renji.