Chapter 3
Spanners and Lister meet, Kind of

Moving at full speed the crew headed down to the
obscure landing bay, where the unknown lay. Holly made sure all the lifts and transport vehicles were waiting, so as not to be delayed by holding for a two mile lift, or just missing the Red Dwarfs Central Line's last tube.

In most cases the vehicles usually beat the group to the prearranged location. Unfortunately the vehicles themselves, which had a certain limited artificial intelligence, would easily grow bored waiting and wander off to go chat with a friend or get a quick lube from local scutters. Unerringly they would miss their fare. Still when all was said and done, the crew made good time.

Throughout the trip Holly kept his image on local monitors with a live landing bay security camera feed. This was the best shot the security cameras could pick up as viewed from inside the Bay 47 airlock. Several minutes after the craft did manage to stop, there was to much smoke to make out anything significant. And it seemed as though the smoke filled shadows lay dormant.

When, through the smoke, Kryten did manage to see some movement it turned out to be several scutter whom had arrived on the scene. Later, during the trip downward, Kryten realized that the scutters weren't actually helping with getting the fire under control and saving the pilot's life, as he originally thought. But they seemed to dawdle around like spectators who gawk at car wrecks and accidents instead of actually doing anything to help.
Possible they were mad, and the pilot was in further was another item on the list Kryten was currently compiling of thingshe'd rather not think about. Hence he suffer an overload and automatically shut down, due to a guilt. Then how could he possibly help the crew? Even a hint of pondering on that specific scenario pushed his guilt chip too far into the red.

Other things on Kryten's list of things not to think about were the fact that the Bay doors, damaged as they were by the disuse, then the accident, couldn't properly reseal. Holly was able to convince the inner safety hatch seals to function, but only half heartedly at that. The pilot's limited atmosphere was leaking out into space.

Another miniscule detail Kryten didn't want to dwell on was that they could get nothing from the cockpit. When the test ship hit the second layer of crash webbing it lost all power, and all transmissions ceased.
The final message read as follows:

"Oh Smeg kkkkkkkzklkkkzzzzshhhhhhhh She's breaking up, kraaaaazshh
no control...small fires...Oh Smeg not the kkkkrrrraaaassttttzkzkt Krissyyyyyyyy!"

Then nothing. There wasn't much conversation after that, everyone concentrated on the race to the accident site. Each alone with their thoughts. Mr. Lister was obviously the most disturbed by the events.
The images were blurry, but the pilot's voice was undeniably Lister's.
He denied it of course.
Kryten pondered this over and came to the conclusion that the day so far had been a bit of a bummer.

"This was the best shot the security cameras could pick up as viewed from inside the Bay 47 airlock." As the Cat and Lister were hastily donning protective suits, Kryten started towards the airlock controls.

"Look we may have to face facts," started Rimmer noticeably trembling, "that whoever is on the other side of that door may be dangerous, and we may very well indeed have to deal with it as such."
"Get real man," said Lister just before he donned his helmet and finished his sentence through the tinny speaker. "Whoever is in there
needs medical help, and they need it bad."

"I'm just saying we don't know who or what lies beyond yonder porthole.
We received no visual when we requested. The computer readouts show that the pilot wasn't hooked up to his body sensors for god sake. It could be anything" Rimmer's face crunched, as did the Cat's, each envisioning what could lie beyond the door.

"Look, whoever," Lister paused and looked at the Cat and Kryten, "or whatever is on the other side of that airlock has crashed, and is probably just hanging on."

"That's true Mr. Rimmer sir, we all witnessed the crash,"
the Cat who was finally suited up in his gold space suit spoke.

"Butter pat head here is right. I've been in a crash through those
tissue paper nets with the pretty signs. And I'll tell you one thing, whoever crashed in there is only a threat to the Kleenex people."
Kryten then punched in the appropriate numbers and the airlock's ancient gears grumbled slowly into motion, the smoke from within leaped
out at them as it found an escape. "Apparently the airlock was unsealed."
Said Kryten.

"Bud," the Cat's voice carrying through the smoke, "this is like your
laundry basket at the end of the month."

The service bay was fogged with acrid smoke from the melted safety netting. A thick cable swung from a severed relay terminal, like
a diarrhetic electric python spewing sparks wherever it could.
Debris of door, netting and ship, small and larger covered the tarmac and a constant hissing filled the hangar. The acoustics made it sound as though a gigantic tea kettle had been let loose and was coming to a boil, though actually it was the escaping atmosphere which would prove even more deadly.
Kryten lead the way as they entered the bay. The smoke was leaking out into the corridor but the hiss was louder than ever. Rimmer meandered as far back near the airlock as possible, while the other three cautiously moved over the debris.

Part of the craft tail section had been torn loose and was keeping the inner lock from sealing completely. Debris and other bits were slowly drifting towards the unsealed lock along the tarmac. Pieces too large to fit were stuck, in a seeming attempt to block up the expanse, held tight by the endless vacuum of space.

When they reached the craft's cockpit, all three were required to move a large girder which was pinned over the ship's hatch. This accounted for the pilots inability to get out of his craft, Lister mentioned offhandedly.

With the palm of his left hand Dave wiped a dinner plate size hole in the dust on the cockpit's window until he could make out the features of the pilot within.

He was looking at an almost exact replica of himself.
Almost.