Part 1

Dear Kursoaki-kun,

On behalf of the Seaweed Ambassador Fan Club I would like to sincerely thank you for saving the Seaweed Ambassador from onee-san's clutches (if he got hold of it he would surely skin him and use the holy seaweed ambassador's skin to do evil things, like wrap Aizen in it or something) by personally defeating Aizen yourself. As such, you have the deepest thanks of the Seaweed Ambassador Fan Club, and we are forever in your debt for saving the Seaweed Ambassador.

Kuchiki Rukia
President
Seaweed Ambassador Fan Club

Ichigo's reply:
You have no idea how close you are to the truth...

Part 2

Dear Kurosaki-kun,

Thank you for helping me pick out that lovely tie for onee-san the other day (*refer to Byakuya's letter*). He was so delighted that he immediately rushed into his room when he received it, probably to try it on privately or weep in joy at the wonderful gift I had given him. The look of pure joy on his face when he received it was the greatest thank you I could have received from him, therefore I would like to sincerely like to thank you for helping me.

ENOUGH WITH THE NICETIES.

LOOK HERE ICHIGO, IF YOU EVER INSULT MY DRAWINGS AGAIN I SHALL ASK ONEE SAN TO COME AND KILL YOU. YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF APPRECIATION FOR SUCH FINE CULTURE AND ART AND YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO LECTURE ME, MUCH LESS SPEAK TO ME ABOUT THIS. TO BE UNABLE TO APPRECIATE MY AMAZING AND INTRICATE ART, YOU ARE DEEMED BLIND AND CLEARLY LACK A SENSE OF APPRECIATION FOR THE ARTS. YOU HAVE OBVIOUSLY NOT BEEN EXPOSED TO ENOUGH ART WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG. MY ART IS DEEP, ABSTRACT YET CLEAR. ONLY UNCULTURED PEOPLE LIKE YOU CAN'T SEE THAT. SO THE NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO POKE FUN AT MY HEAVENLY DRAWINGS, THINK TWICE. CONSIDER AND THINK ABOUT IT LONG AND HARD. DO YOU WANT ONEE SAN TO BE ON YOUR TAIL? DO YOU WANT TO BE CHOPPED UP BY PINK FLOWER PETALS? DO YOU WANT TO DIRTY THE HANDS OF THE GREAT CAPTAIN OF THE 6TH DIVISION? DO YOU WANT ME TO FREEZE YOU AND TRAP YOU IN ICE? HUH HUH HUH? NOW PREPARE YOURSELF. I WILL ONCE AGAIN ALLOW YOU AND GIVE YOU THE HONOUR OF GETTING A TASTE OF TRUE, FINE ART AT ITS BEST.

(\_/)

(")_(")

SEE. IT'S CUTE. IT'S ADORABLE. IT'S A WORK OF PERFECTION. A WORK OF PERFECTION THAT BLIND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE UNABLE TO COMPREHEND.

Well that's all I have to say.

BYE ICHIGO.

With lots of love,
Rukia

Ichigo's reply:
You have no idea how far you are from the truth... (including the the drawing bit)