2:45 a.m. Sunday

I cannot describe how confused I am right now. So many things have happened.

First off, it turns out that Carter Holowitz had a bite that had somehow slipped under the radar. His dorm-mates had said he said he was feeling queasy so he went to the sick bay to get something to settle his stomach. An hour later Ahmet heard a scuffling noise behind a closet door on the way back from the bathroom. He ran for Security, who busted down the door and found Carter eating the body of Matron James. He was quickly dispatched along with Matron James. She was unconscious and close to death as he ate her, but she was still alive. We heard the two gunshots through the floor; the states and provinces have dorms a floor down from us and the sound of the gunshots were enough to rouse everybody. Luddie was concerned we had had a breach in the perimeter Security set up around the East wing, so took his gun out of his night table and checked the hall way. A few doors down the other boys were coming out. After a brief talk, he and Heracles went downstairs to investigate the problem.

Eventually, Luddie, Heracles and I went downstairs to investigate. Going down that staircase in the half light, not knowing what was in front of us but knowing very well what it might be, was possibly the scariest thing to happen so far.

The scene we saw was as you can imagine it from the earlier description. Nasty, disturbing, nightmare material. Three of the Security personnel were gathered around the open closet. Ahmet faced the wall opposite them. He refused to look at the closet when Luddie took him back to his own dorm. The expression on his face was like that blank, flat sort of dull look I saw on soldiers' faces so many times during History. (They loved showing us pictures of war in History.) I hope he gets over this as soon as he can.

News spread like wildfire in the school before the zombies. It spread even faster than before, partly because the school is way smaller now and partly because as soon as Security had filled us in, Heracles shot upstairs and told everyone what had happened. By the time I got back to the dorm the hall was full up of people babbling about it, the boys from this corridor and the girls from across the landing. A Matron eventually sent us back to our dorms, reassuring us everything was fine as we were protected by Security.

"They obviously did worlds of good for Carter and Matron James." I heard Heracles say.

Sunday 12th (later)

I scribbled that last entry in three minutes. Almost feel asleep right on it. I started to re-read the last entry and ended up reading it all the backwards to the start. The dates are totally fucked. The first one, January, was way off and so are the entries under June. The first screw-up must have been the panic attack – I can get so confused after those it goes from funny (ha ha Alfred forgot how to tie his shoe lace) to scary (uh-oh Alfred forgot his own name). The other ones? It must have been sleep deprivation and hunger. Today is actually the 12th of March 2013. Just wanted to clear that up. When I re-read my other entries, I noticed how disjointed and weird what I wrote sounds like. You can tell how much this whole thing has screwed with my mind.

I think I've had my mental slap in the face. I promise I'm going to make more sense from now on. I did get a real slap in the face too from Hera.

It was after the Carter incident, we were going upstairs and I stopped in the middle. Didn't want to go up didn't want to go down, didn't want to do anything but curl up and die. Must have shown on my face, because Hera gave me a good swat across it. Not even a swat- an actual punch in the jaw. If he had wanted to do damage with that punch he could have sent me all the way back downstairs. Heracles usually just sits around in his own little world, occasionally falling asleep on people or having a mild identity crisis where he thinks he's a cat or musing about the meaning of life like the lazy Plato he is. I haven't seen him whack anyone apart from Sadik- who always whacks him back. I was too surprised to retaliate.

"Quit it." he said.

I rubbed my stinging face "Quit what?"
"Quit doing that. You keep spacing out. It's not like you."

"So what? I don't think I should be acting totally like myself in this sorta thing Hera!"

"Yeah you should. You're always yelling about being the hero, so act like one for fuck's sake."

Then he turned around and dragged me by the collar the rest of the way up. Hera rarely swears, because swearing requires energy and he refuses to use more energy than he needs to move, do his work, digest and fall asleep. Sometimes he doesn't even wait to get to his dorm to fall asleep. On those days we draw straws to decide who has to carry him back (him being utterly impossible to wake up unless he wants to). It goes to show what this is doing to us. It's brought out the beast in Hera and sent mine cowering in the corner.

There was no 'talk' today. No one did anything today. We just took stock of who was there and who wasn't like we have been since being 'rescued' by Security. People placed bets on who was going to turn up alive and who was going to be groaning at the perimeter. Whatever Security and the Matrons are doing to get us organised they're not doing it fast enough.

Sick of sitting around. Sick of the noise. Sick of not knowing. Sick of knowing. Sick of being here. Dunno if I can do this. Or if I want to.

a/n promised myself I wasn't going to write an intelligence-insulting message like this, but I feel like I owe it to the readers who noticed the mistakes. No I'm not saying you're a dumb audience! Ugh, that's right Scrolls, dig yourself a grave. Will someone get the shovel away from me please? These mistakes throughout the fic, such as the inconsistencies in dates and the way Al's narration was fragment and bouncing all over the place are intentional mistakes. I wanted to use them to show how confused he is and how his thought process is far from functioning normally. I hope they've created that effect instead of annoying people. Thanks for your time and patience with the implanted mistakes, which you have certainly have if you're up to this point. Until we meet again friend.