A/N: I hope I'm using the ballet terms correctly; if not I apologize.
[12th of October 9:30pm]
'Don't you get it? We're just tired of you being little Ms. Perfect, all the time. Everyone loves you, all the guys want you, you do everything. It's…sickening—no matter what you're always happy, all the time! Well…look at you now. Not happy, are you?' Cailan sneered into her mirror making her voice go nasally in mock of Meg. "ARG! They're such…such bitches!"
She jumped as the candle glass smashed and looked at it, oddly satisfied. She looked to the dresser top where there were multiple things to be smashed and broken. It was littered with glass bowls and candle trays and bottles of all kinds—she and Natalia had gone to thousands of thrift stores, collecting them together.
This time she smiled at the sound of glass hitting the floor.
"…Calie?" the younger girl's voice murmured as she rubbed her eyes and peeked through the accordion door. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Go back to bed." The older girl snapped, pushing away her feelings of regret.
"…they're…broken…" the girl said, turning her still pillowed cheeks and big eyes up to Calie. "Why—"
"Natalia shut up and get back to bed. Now." Calie hissed, slamming her hand down on top of the dresser and glaring at her foster-sister.
The little girl jumped and started tearing. "No. No, Natalia if you start crying I swear to God I will spank you so hard you can't sit to save your life, got it?"
Cailan spat out an exasperated sigh and tossed her head back before staring herself down in the mirror. She knew she'd taken out her anger at her friends on Natalia. Frankly, right now she didn't care. She was perfect? Hah. Tell that to the little brat who could do no wrong.
Natalia at all the cookies and spoiled her dinner? Cailan's fault, no shower time tonight. Oh, Natalia didn't do her homework? Yep. That's Cailan's—who was at school from six in the morning to nearly eight at night—fault, she's not keeping her younger sister on top of her school work. No dinner tonight.
Cailan threw herself a pity party, pouting and making her image in the mirror look as helpless as possible. It only made her angrier. She took another bottle and threw it hard at the wall.
She was just applying more gloss as she pouted her lips when she heard sniffles in the other room. At first she rolled her eyes; it was too persistent. The sound of her heels crunching over the broken glass made the guilt sink in deeper; Cailan sighed and slowly made her way to Natalia's closet/room.
"Hey," she said, knocking and opening the door anyways. "Honey?"
Cailan sat on the bed and let her hand hover over the little girl's shoulder. "Nat, I'm sorry. I was just angry."
"No! You were just being mean!" she girl cried, sitting up and pushing Calie's hand away.
"…I know. I was being a jerk, huh?" Cailan received a nod. "Tell you what, how about you and I go out sometime and we'll get more trinkets for you, okay?"
"…as many as I want?" Cailan smiled through clenched teeth; tricky little brat.
"Sure, as many as you want,"
"Tomorrow?" the younger girl demanded, arching a little brow at Cailan.
"…hon, we've got school."
"Oh, okay." The little girl said, her face falling as she pulled up on the blanket and rolled over.
Cailan sat there for a moment and groaned inwardly.
…
[12:37am]
"Jake, where you?" Cailan asked into the phone. "Look, we needa talk."
"Ahw, damn it what?" he growled into his phone, interrupting the voicemail she was leaving.
"…just…what have you been telling people? I mean…there are rumors going around and—"
"You didn't need me to start rumors. Casey hates you without me in the mix."
"…so you haven't been telling people we're getting it on in kinky ways?" she demanded, crossing her arms.
He arched a brow through the phone line and smirked "No, of course not, why would I be saying that?"
Calie couldn't tell from his tone if he was mocking her or if he was serious. She felt a desperation well up in her chest and felt her composure breaking.
"Jake I'm serious. If you're telling your buddies something knock it off. I don't like people talking about me like that."
"Maybe if we could actually do things, I wouldn't have'ta just talk about it."
"I just…want it to stop, okay?"
…
[1:08am]
Calie curled up on the bed; if she squeezed herself into a little ball, maybe—
She turned over violently. She wouldn't cry. Sitting up she ran her fingers through her hair. In the dim light from the window she had enough light to do her hair and makeup. The bun was curled tightly at the nape of her neck and her lips were a deep ruby-brick. She let a small smile escape as the looked at the matt color in the moonlight. She fancied she looked like she'd just stepped out of the twenties.
The air felt good on her skin through her black tights; the gauzy skirt of her leotard fluttered in the small breeze as she pushed open the door to the roof and stepped outside. Standing on the threshold she took a long, deep breath and closed her eyes.
There was a constant, solid beat of cars driving down the street. There was a pulse as the cars drove over the manhole coverings, sounding a deep thunk in the night. Honking horns and alternate sirens ringing out through the night played out a throbbing melody. The air conditioning and water equipment from the buildings rumbled out a tune.
Stepping out onto her stage tentatively in her slippered feet, she loosed her muscles and held her breath, waiting for the music of the night to seep into her. As it did she slowly let go; the nasty rumors about her sex life, the fight with her friends, and especially the look on his face when he saw her with Jake—all of it faded away to the music of the street and she danced, spinning on her tip-toes and arching her back in grace. Her adagio routine tried her muscles and eased her mind.
Calie spent hours, her grande jete taking her across the roof, accented with fondues and fouettes. Her heart was soothed to be dancing in the way she was born to dance. She was so at home and so in tune with herself through ballet that she caved in, letting her emotions take free reign on her dancing and her movements erupted with soul.
[3:11am]
Cailan's tumultuous dancing crashed to a stop as she mis-stepped over a rut in the roof that sent her sprawling. She lay there for a while, thinking over everything that had happened.
She needed a battle plan.
13th of October, Thursday 3:00pm
"Are you kidding me!" Casey erupted with a catty screetch. "She's sick?"
"Her parents called in this morning. She's got a high fever and can't keep anything down. Now, Marlen, you'll be leading at tonight's competition. Alright girls, get to it."
The 'coach' blew her whistle and set the girls to warm ups, leaving them to it and walking over to flirt with the girls'-volleyball assistant coach. The cheer team warmed up, stretching and jumping and doing minor kicks; they were all tense and jittery: Cailan had never been absent from a competition.
"So, where's your master gone to, flaking out on us?" Casey demanded, giving Marlen a shove to get her attention under the radar.
"You heard coach, she's sick." Marlen said, trying to keep her voice from wavering.
"More like she's afraid to show her face," Amy snickered behind her hand to Casey. "She's started hearing what people have been saying."
"Amy, quiet, back in line," Marlen ordered, without the conviction that Cailan managed to hold in her voice.
The elder girl arched her brown and looked down at the captain's replacement. Her arms crossed and a series of hisses and cat calls rang through the team as they stared each other down. Marlen held her ground, trying to keep her heart from leaping out of her throat. She HAD to take control.
"Marlen, sweetie," Beth started, getting an idea. "We know that Cailan taught you everything you know, and took you under her wing and all, but, well, think about it,"
The blond slid her arm around Marlen's shoulders and broke the stare-down, winking to Amy. "Loyalty to Cailan…might not be the best thing to do. I mean, don't you want to have a team by next year?"
"Guys knock it off. Marlen, Cailan's always been your friend, just ignore her." Rachel said rolling her eyes and tossing a pompom at Beth. "C'mon, coach is looking this way you guys, let's get it together."
Meg paused on the outside of the whole thing, watching closely. Beth, Amy and Casey grouped off together to finish warming up and she could see them talking and shooting daggers at Marlen. They were easy to break down; anyone could see those three were jealous of Cailan. But, so was she. Meg took out her hair and brushed it back with her fingers, gaining time for herself to think while she pretended to have trouble getting it into a ponytail. She could make up with Cailan; the girl was almost too forgiving for her own good. But, if she did where did it leave her? She'd still be jealous, still be second best and, what's worse, is that she knew that rumors would start spreading about the girls closes to Cailan to break their alliance.
Was she willing to care about Cailan enough to do that?
…
[7:39am]
"Hello, this is Mrs. Leal. Yes, Cailan has come down with a bug or something, she's got a fever and I can't get her to keep anything down. I'm afraid we're going to keep her home from school today. Yes, grade eleven. Yes, thank you. Alright, have a good day. Alright, bu-bye." Cailan said into the phone, pressing her hand lightly against the hollow of her throat to make her voice deep and airy.
"Hello, this is Mrs. Jeffries. I'm calling to say that Natalia won't be able to come to school today. No, she caught a bug from her older sister. Oh, yes I know, I know. Kids—if one's sick the other isn't far behind. Okay, I will. Take care now, thank you."
Hanging up the payphone Cailan smiled and drew her jacket around her tighter to fight the morning chill. Then she walked slowly back up the fire escape—her feet were cold against the morning metal—and crawled back into bed. Natalia had crept in in the early morning and the elder girl found herself snuggling against her for warmth as she came back into the folds of sleep.
…
[3:03pm]
"Thanks again Calie!" Natalia said, giving the elder girl a big hug and darting up the stairs into their building.
Calie held her smile just long enough for the girl to run out of sight and then pulled her disposable cell from her pocket; the caller id said it was Marlen. She thought a moment and then closed her cell and headed towards the door. In the back of her mind she wanted nothing more than to walk up the stairs to an empty room. Calie had herself to look after; adding a child to the mix had never been in the plan, and it was beginning to become a burden.
…
[3:03pm]
"ARg. Calie, seriously! I know your sick…but I could use some help here! I really need to talk to you before our competition tonight…I need your support. I don't think I can do this alone…" Marlen said quietly into the phone as she hid behind the bleachers.
The girls were on water break; she'd only be subbing in for Calie for a day and she knew already that things were going to get bad very quickly.