Chapter 16
Cat Found

The Cat was transfixed.

At first he had just been excited with the thrill of getting out into a whole new world of curiosity.

Then the adventure.

It was like a treasure hunt for another monkey, who had flown through a magic door no less. The Cat had soon slipped away from the slower Lister, until he had become completely lost. He wasn't worried, with his heighten nasal abilities he could find Lister's scent in a junk yard, which were pretty much indistinguishable from each other to the Cat. This was the kind of thinking which had gotten him in trouble in the first place.

Shortly after waking the next morning, bare footed, The Cat was picking wild flowers, when he first smelt the water. He didn't hear the sounds of it until a minute later, once he was closer to the source. Cats usually avoid water at all costs and the Cat which is part of the Red Dwarf posse was no exception. But there was something other than the smell of fresh water which attracted the Cat. The really frustrating part was although the Cat was attracted to this smell he hadn't a clue to what it was. So he moved faster.

Somewhere in the back of his simple mind he tried to determine what the smell was. Food came to mind at first, then for obvious reasons, mirrors were next of his list. Sleep was third, and food came in as fourth and fifth. Without the proper reference he was at a loss.

Curiosity overwhelmed him so he moved faster still, until he was almost lakeside and the roar of a distant waterfall was all around him.
He stopped dead in his tracks, he heard something. Voices.
But they were not talking, They were singing.
What were they singing he wondered, it seemed to be a melody he should know. Not something that was learned but something he knew instinctively.

Humming along with the song, bare footed with a bunch
of wild flowers in his hand is how he came to a clearing at the water's edge.
On three large rocks in the shallows of the river sprawled three half
naked Cat women, preening themselves.
Now he knew what that smell was.
Female Cats!

Beside himself with giddiness he couldn't believe it the vision was real. More than once he closed his eyes and reopened them each time assuming that the vision would be gone just like a his delight they weren't, each of the pretty young things stretched and combed and fondled themselves in such a manner that he was sure he would drown in his own drool.

He could take it no more.

In completely disregard for the water and what it would do to the trousers of his red satin morning suit the Cat made a bee line to the nearest Girl. Roughly ten paces from the waters edge.

"Hi, I'm the Cat." Was all he was able to say to the pretty young feline
when she lunged for him and drove her tongue deep into his mouth. Holding his face in both her hands. When she released him, he stood frozen in time, and space.

His first kiss.

While the Cat was still reeling from it, a second cat girl had quickly
moved in. Before he knew what was happening a second tongue
filled his mouth. When she was satisfied, the Cat tried to speak.

In a high pitch he started to say. "Ladies, perhaps..." was all he got out.
The third tongue, not counting his own, in as many minutes was doing the jitterbug about his dental work. Now all three Cat women were around him, fondling his hair, chest and legs. Gently lowered onto a rock, with head swimming, the first of the threesome started to straddle him. The Cat's spell remained unbroken as the thump heavy boot steps was suddenly audible.

All three girls stopped what they were doing and looked in the direction of the boot steps, much to the Cat's disappointment. As the sound got closer one by one the sweet kittens moved away, slowly at first, then quicker as the steps got louder.

When the Cat's body got perpendicular the first thing he saw was a battle
ax tucked in a crudely made belt. His eyes followed them up and they finally rested on the long silvery face of Slate. He smiled turned away and proceeded to faint very conveniently.