True Catharsis - A Different Trial

by ThrowbackGGuy

Emilia undergoes the last Trial of the Sanctuary. But, when she enters it, she is not confronted with her own future. What she sees is the far-past, present, and possible futures of a certain black-haired and nasty-eyed boy. What happens, when Emilia comes to know absolutely everything about the person that is Natsuki Subaru. And thus, will Subaru finally get his true catharsis?

7. And Heart Breaks

AN: I'll just go ahead... and write some things that make me less sad for a while. Have fun.

---

Nothingness.

In this empty world of eternal stillness and all-consuming darkness, a world where nothingness overtook everything... existed a single entity.

The world was no more, there was nowhere to be anymore. It had destroyed the cycle of providence, the natural order of everything. It destroyed the future that should have been, the true future all were destined to face, leaving nothing behind.

Nothing was able to stop the being. Nothing was able to hinder the being. Defying all orders and aspects of the world, the being had obliterated existence itself.

The Trial was shattered. The Seals were destroyed. The Fragments were reconnected. The Souls were silenced. The Spirits were vanquished. The Authorities were suppressed. The Mana was emptied. The World was consumed.

Everything was gone, swallowed whole by this being.

This should have been impossible. This was not how things were supposed to be. This did not make any sense.

Nothing remained. The being had accomplished its goal.

Yet...

Its tears of grief never stopped. Its sobs of hopelessness never weakened.

The being held a state of unending anguish in this realm of timeless nothingness. Days, months, years, millennia... the presence of time did not exist for it, for it was all the same. Its irrationality, its incomprehensibility, its sorrow, its lack sense prevented it from developing any further, caught in an ageless stasis of despair.

Until... when a single brief moment awakened this being from its unending lament.

It was a tiny spark of light, illuminating this world of emptiness ever so slightly, no more than a tiny candle-light resisting the cold shadow. The light gently exuded from the chest of this being, nestled in the warmth of its cleavage.

It was... It was...

A tiny orb of light...

The being, who had swallowed everything in its rage, missed to swallow this small and delicate little thing.

It swallowed the whole world, consumed and absorbed everything there ever was, yet this small and precious thing remained unchanged.

For it was the very thing this entity wished to protect.

In its world-ending cries, the being never noticed that it had subconsciously protected and kept this priceless little thing deep in its bosom, warm and protected from the cold world that it had created in its blind hate for it.

"M..."

It made a noise, the being dared to create a noise in the void. It couldn't understand, it couldn't comprehend.

"M-My..."

Was this... the truth...?

Was this... it...?

The one thing that mattered. The only thing that would ever matter...

"My light..."

The only soul that would ever matter to this being...

"My flame..."

It was...

"My everything..."

Euphoria. Ecstasy. Joy. Bliss. The being felt every positive emotion imaginable when gazing at the darling soul.

The being was saved. It was saved. Everything was perfect.

Of course... Of course... How did the being forget...? In its blindness, in its ignorance, in its wrath, it had forgotten. As long as the being existed, the soul would as well. One could not exist without the other. They are connected, they are one. There was nothing to lament.

No matter how mighty the being was, it could not rid itself from its chaotic emotions. Because if it did, it would not exist. It was both its greatest weakness, and its very foundation of being.

'You must kill me.'

Words that had been spoken. Words that will be spoken.

Ignorant. Ignorant. Ignorant.

That is impossible. That is impossible.

'I'm going to save you.'

Naive. Naive. Naive.

Nonsense. Madness.

'I love you.'

Just how many times...!

How conflicted. How fragile.

The being chastised itself for its instability. However, it didn't matter anymore. The soul needed attention.

Possessively, the being buried the precious orb back into its chest, as if its deep bosom could replace the soul's world with this soft and warm one, enveloping it fully within, robbing the world its last light, plunging it into cold darkness once again.

Having this orb fully buried within its chest, the being felt... satisfied. However, it deeply regret its past actions, it felt tremendous guilt for consuming the world in its hate, bringing all to ruin...

It did it again... again... It let its emotions run astray, leading to utter destruction... The being broke its promise, again... The foolishness of this being, it was incomparable. The uncountable sins the being committed were unforgivable.

But... so long as the soul was happy, nothing else mattered to the being.

Nothing but the soul mattered.

Nothing.

"I love you..."

The being whispered its affections from the bottom of its heart, savoring how its body encompassed the orb in its protective embrace.

It would not mind... to stay like this forever... to keep this orb save and protected, contained in its bosom, while it continued to confess its unconditional love, its limitless devotion, its undying affection, and its absolute loyalty to it forever, for all of eternity.

Yet...

The soul... it was not content.

The soul was not satisfied...

The being was taken aback, feeling the soul's emotions hidden in its chest. The soul was not satisfied...? That was not acceptable. The being wanted the soul to be happy.

The being scoured the soul's emotions... To fulfill the soul's wishes, it needed to understand.

The soul, it wanted more...

It was... Greedy... It wanted more than just them, it wanted everything.

"I can give you everything..." the being quietly reassured. It consumed everything, it possessed unrivaled power, it could grant the soul any wish, and any want. No matter what the soul could want in its greed, the being could always provide.

However, it was not what the soul desired.

It was Lustful... It wanted to be more intimate with the being, to not only be engulfed by it. It wanted to achieve true ultimate intimacy.

"I can absorb you..." the being eagerly offered. The ultimate form of intimacy was to become one. The being just needed to absorb the soul, and then the soul would completely and utterly belong to the being. Yes, of course, of course, while the depths of its bosom were safe and comfortable for the soul, there was no safer place than to be inside the being. Wholly contained, wholly protected, wholly loved. To absorb and shelter the soul within itself was the most effective solution. They would share everything. Thoughts, emotions, memories, feelings, nothing would remain hidden, and the being would always be there for the soul at all times, for the soul would reside inside it. Along its eager offer, the being already started the process of the absorption. True fulfillment and ultimate bliss was nigh...

However, it was not what the soul desired.

It was Prideful... It wanted to have freedom, to be able to do anything and everything whenever and wherever it pleased, to stand tall and proud with itself. It wanted to be unbound by existence itself. No being, no law, nothing should be able to hinder its path.

"I can always reform you, and let you do as you please..." the being bargained, halting the absorption. The soul was everything to the being. If freedom was what it desired, then it was the being's absolute commandment. It could always remain absorbed within the being, and come out whenever it desired freedom, freely taking its wished path.

However, it was not what the soul desired.

It was Gluttonous... It wanted to take, take, and take... and not give any back. It was not only a carnal hunger, but one that craved everything.

"I can feed you everything..." Just like with its kindred greed, the being could give the soul anything it wanted. It would feed the soul everything it could ever desire, and nourish it to its heart's content. Memories, names, lives, things, all shall be provided.

However, it was not what the soul desired.

It was Wrathful... It wanted to take revenge on the things that wronged it, it wanted to destroy the things that stood in its way. It wanted to obliterate the things that defied it and its happiness.

"I can destroy your obstacles..." the being hoped. Just give the command, and the being will do its utmost to annihilate everything the soul disliked. Nothing shall stay in the soul's way.

However, it was not what the soul desired.

It was Slothful... It wanted to do nothing, yet still get the things it wanted. It didn't like hardship, yet...

"I can do everything in your stead." the being grew desperate. No matter what, no matter when, the being will tend to the soul and its wants, no matter what they may be. If the soul could not live on its own, then the being will take care of everything.

However, it was not what the soul desired.

The soul... it was...

Envious... It wanted to be great like others, it wanted to become strong. It wanted to be special, it wanted to be dependable, it wanted to be memorable. It wanted to be something, just like everything else.

'I can make you more powerful than anything...'

It was the first thought that surfaced in the being's mind. But, before it could voice these thoughts, it stopped itself.

"..."

The being began to understand the wants of its most dearest soul.

Of course, of course... The being misunderstood.

Truly, truly... The being was hopeless without its light.

Just how blind was the being to forget something as important as this, once again.

"...You can become amazing..." the being whispered lovingly into its bosom, cradling the hopeful soul within it.

"You can become the most amazing person you want to be..."

The soul was too charitable to take everything for itself.

The soul possessed too much chastity to allow itself to sink into the being's body.

The soul was too humble to reign over all and stand over others without reason.

The soul possessed too much temperance to take its well-deserved fill.

The soul was too patient to ever hold grudges, be it from friend of foe.

The soul possessed too much diligence to rest within the being's embrace forevermore.

But most importantly...

The soul was too kind to let this world end.

"Ordinary... Regular... No..." The being hummed to itself. "You can become special, just in your own special way..."

The being possessed nigh-omnipotence. It was an authority of peerless power. No other force of nature, no other incomprehensible being, nothing could question its might.

The being was too powerful.

Yet, there was something it had lost control over, and threatened the being's continued existence, for it had pierced one of its greatest weaknesses.

Envy.

Its Emotion, its Sin, grew to represent the power that governs over all of time.

That pesky thing. Just why did the being allow them to exist in that way, to take advantage over itself... Regret, the being felt terrible regret... It was all the being's fault. Everything. If the being hadn't become so twisted... so erratic and capricious, nothing of this would have ever happened. It wished it would have been better, it wished it hadn't allowed itself to become like so... All because of the being, their eternal happiness was at risk.

But, if the precious soul desired this one thing, to undo what the being had done, it was not a question whether to use it or not. Besides, as much as the being wished to stay with the soul forever and ever in this empty world like this... it knew that its Envy would not lay subdued for much longer, and that could not ever be allowed to happen.

So be it.

Return the nothingness the being created into the sprawling world that it once was. Reverse everything, reverse this encounter, and let the soul Return.

This was not allowed to happen again. This mistake cannot happen again. If its Envy happened to wake while in this state, all hope will be lost.

Indeed... Time is powerful, so sad and powerful... They will forget themselves, and restart from the beginning.

The being lamented their departure, but if this is what the loving soul desired, then there was nothing else it could do but to obey, and protect it by doing so.

It wished it could do more, so much more for the soul. But, it was the only thing the being was capable of doing, the only thing to protect the soul.

"I love you..."

The being confessed its undying love for the soul within its all-encompassing embrace one last time, before seeing it off.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."

Let this soul, connected to itself and its every part, Return.

Lest... it will swallow the soul too, trapping it in their personal world of empty bliss, consumed, absorbed, and imprisoned inside its cold body, forever.

---

Shadows.

A realm of pure shadow.

This is what Emilia came to see after Subaru stopped moving and everything went dark and cold.

Just a moment before, Emilia was cradling Subaru's body, her mind wiped off of any sanity, but now she was suddenly... here.

Completely cleansing her mind, her world-shattering anguish was stopped the moment it began, and she somehow entered this ominous realm, filling her with an eerie sense of rationality and composure.

...

What?

Rationality?

Composure?

No.

That was not true at all.

This had to be a joke. A terrible, and disgusting joke.

Yes, this 'realm' tried to reassure her that things were not how she thought they were, somehow...

But that was not enough.

Not even a little.

Her mind was filled with one thing:

Subaru.

Where is Subaru.

For the very first time in 17 years, she didn't know where Subaru was.

Where is Subaru. Where is he? What happened to him? Is he okay? Is he fine? Is he unhurt? Is he safe? Is he okay? Is he okay? Is he okay?

'...going to... save you...'

Is Subaru okay?

Subaru. Subaru. Subaru-

"I love you."

Emilia heard her voice echo inside this realm, but it was not her who spoke those words. It was not her who spoke them, but she agreed with them. She knew, somehow, that those words were aimed at Subaru.

There was only one target the words 'I love you' coming from Emilia's voice could ever truly apply to.

However, Emilia could not stomach how hollow the confession sounded, how anguished it was. It scared her.

Before her mind could continue to question any more, what happened to her Subaru, where is Subaru, where did that disturbing voice come from, where was she-

...

"...Ah...!"

Emilia's mind...

It burned.

It was assaulted. It was overwhelmed. It was violated.

Memories flooded right into her soul, forcing their way into it. Memories that she had forgotten. Memories that she should never have forgotten.

"...Aah...!"

It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts!

A blue-haired maid entered her mind. A maid that worked for Roswaal. Emilia knew her well. Why did she forget. Why did she forget!

A certain aloof maid who had grown absolutely besotted with the boy she loved.

Ram's sister...

...Rem!

How did she forget about her? Why did she forget?! And how did she remember?!

But even worse...

She remembered her first encounter with Subaru.

'That's enough. Stop now, and I'll let this slide. So just graciously give back what you stole!'

She saw him in the alleyway.

'It's none of our business. He won't die. We'll just leave him.'

She was indecisive.

'Your wounds should be better now, but the next time, don't do dangerous things like wandering into deserted alleys alone. I'm not concerned. I'm just warning you.'

She was immature.

'I didn't do anything deserving of thanks. I told you, I've already received compensation for healing your wounds.'

She was insincere.

'I'm... Satella.'

She was terrible.

'Mou, Subaru, you're such a dunderhead!'

She was childish.

'...You're totally hopeless, but then again, I'm convinced.'

She was obstinate.

'N-Nothing. Never mind. If you can get my insignia back, I'll apologize.'

She was... there.

Emilia remembered everything.

Her first encounter with Subaru was not in the loot house. It was in the alleyway.

She remembered.

She saved him from those thugs. She healed him. She let him accompany her on her search for the insignia. They wasted time dawdling around.

She called herself Satella to scare him off for his own safety, to push him away from her, a half-elf. She wanted to apologize to him for doing that. She wanted to get to know him.

She died.

Subaru died. And she died.

17 years ago, they both died in the loot house. Elsa cut them down. She remembered getting cut open. It hurt. It burned. She remembered collapsing. She remembered bleeding out. She remembered feeling Subaru grasping her hand and her returning the grasp as they died, together.

This... This doesn't make any sense!

Why did she forget! How did she forget!? How can something as impossible as that be! Didn't she remember everything when she beat the past Trials?!

How could she have forgotten something this important!? How could something like that even happen!?

They died! But they are alive! They survived the loot house together! How this is possible?! With Reinhard's help, they fought Elsa off! They never died! They lived! Yet she remembers how they died! This doesn't make any sense whatsoever!

How can something as impossible as that be!?

Two sets of lives hurled around in Emilia's mind, one that died in the loot house, and one that survived it. She was wary of Subaru, yet she loved Subaru. She was naive and clumsy, yet she was experienced and mature. She wanted to know him, yet she knew him better than he would ever know himself.

The cognitive dissonance she was experiencing was unbearable to her.

She didn't understand. Where was she? Why was this happening?! What was causing this?!

What is this Trial?!

"I love you."

Her voice confessed these hollow yet sincere words again, but she couldn't find its source in this realm of shadow.

Nothing made sense anymore. What is this realm, what is this whole situation?! What is happening to her! Why did she forget!? Why did she!? How could she dare forget something this important!

Emilia wanted to cry.

Subaru died, but he wasn't dead. He lived. He lived. He lived!

She wanted to see Subaru. She wanted to see him. She wanted to see him!

As if obeying her thoughts, this realm, this incomprehensible realm, it collapsed onto itself...

She couldn't prepare herself how quickly it disappeared-

---

Emilia opened her eyes.

It was so bright. So terribly, terribly bright.

Where was she... Where was she?!

Emilia felt sick. Her ears were ringing. Her eyes were burning.

"What's the matter, boy? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She heard a voice. It was a voice she knew. It was... Yes, it was the appa merchant.

Emilia's senses were slowly clearing themselves.

Her eyes slowly started to see color again. Her ears began to ring less.

Yes... That was the appa merchant, standing before her. It was so bright, because it was day, it was daylight that overwhelmed her eyes.

Emilia tried to adjust herself, looking around...

Then... she saw him...

There stood a black-haired boy with fierce eyes, about 17 years of age, wearing a tracksuit. His appearance, his clothes, his aura, it was strange. He looked like he didn't belong here, and should be somewhere else, somewhere far away.

Right next to her stood... Subaru.

It was Subaru who stood there, next to her. Subaru stood right next to her. He was right next to her.

That boy... that boy stood right next to her... breathing... moving... standing...

"S... Subaru...?" Emilia whimpered the name of the boy she loved. Were her eyes fooling her? No... they weren't.

Subaru... he was... he was... he was... he was...

...alive.

Subaru stood right there, alive, unhurt.

Tears welled in her eyes.

He was... he was alive...!

He was alive!

Subaru was alive!

He was alive!

Alive! Alive! Alive! Alive! Alive!

Alive!

"Subaru!" Crying his name louder than anything, Emilia threw herself at him, and hugged him tighter than anything.

"Subaru! Subaru! Subaru! Subaru!" Emilia wailed in bliss, in relief, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"You're alive! You're alive! You're alive...!"

Emilia didn't understand what was happening, she had no idea what was going on around her. She didn't know what was going on at all. What those memories meant, what that shadowy realm was, who that voice was, but she didn't care.

Subaru was alive, and that was the only thing that mattered to her.

"I-I'm so glad...! I'm so glad...! I'm so glad! You're alive! You're alive! Subaru you're alive! You're breathing! Your heart is beating! Y-You're w-warm...! Y-You're w-warm...!" She sobbed and cried, hiccupping while she counted her overwhelming blessings.

"Y-Y-You... Y-You're-e...!"

Finally, Emilia had lost her last slivers of composure.

"Uaaaaaaahh!" Emilia freely bawled her eyes out in his shoulders. "You're aliiiiii-i-i-ive!"

Emilia could never describe how happy she was to see him alive. Her existence, her soul, it was saved. He was alive. Her everything was alive. He was there. He was right there, living, breathing, being.

She did not understand anything, she did not know how anything worked anymore, but nothing mattered to her so long as Subaru was alive and happy.

Subaru did not react to Emilia's blissful and relieved breakdown as she wailed her heart out, and looked at the appa merchant with hesitation.

He didn't quite get what the appa merchant said.

"What?" Subaru asked the merchant, using a hand to better his hearing.

"Uaaaaah!" Emilia didn't listen to either of them, she just relieved her heart.

"I asked you about the appa. The appa! Do you even have money?"

"What?" Subaru really couldn't hear him, it's like his ears couldn't focus on him. He used both of his hands to assist his hearing.

"Uaaa-a-aaah!"

"Don't 'what' me! The appa! Are you buying it or not?" Understandably, the appa merchant was growing impatient with Subaru's lack of hearing. But this time, he understood him well enough.

"Oh... No, like I said, I'm broke beyond compare..."

"The hell?" The appa merchant spat. "If you're just browsing, then move along. I run a business here. I don't have time for window-shoppers."

Now that he knew that Subaru was useless to him, the appa merchant shooed him away. Emilia still clung to his form, crying into his shoulders while he took his tentative steps around the market.

"I'm s-sorry!" Emilia began to apologize in the midst of her tears, the guilt now overwhelming her relief. "I'm sorry I didn't go with you! I'm sorry I left you alone! I'm sorry I gave you that name! I'm sorry I forgot everything! I'm s-sooo sorry! I couldn't protect you! Uaaaah!"

Emilia was glad beyond reason that he was alive, but it didn't erase the fact that she left him to die.

It was not that half-elf that left him to die, it was her. This whole time, Emilia berated this incorrigible half-elf, thinking this thing was not her... but it was her! It wasn't someone else, it was her!

It was her decision to take him with her. It was her decision let him accompany her. It was her decision to give him that name. It was her decision to let him enter the loot house alone. It was her fault he died.

It was all her fault!

"I'm so sorry, Subaru...! I'm s-so... so- sorry...!"

She couldn't forgive herself for having abandoned Subaru. She couldn't forgive herself for forgetting this traumatic event.

She should have been more careful. She should have been more cautious. Because of her carelessness, they both died. She should have been more observant and wary of the situation. But no, she went ahead and allowed Subaru to die.

She was the worst. She was the lowest of the low. How could she, how could she have done this to him?

"I-I promise! I p-promise this won't happen e-ever ag-!"

...

Emilia couldn't end her sentence.

...Why couldn't she end her sentence...?

She wanted to promise him that this won't happen ag-!

...

Why...

Why couldn't she promise... Why couldn't she promise such a simple thing...?

Why?!

What is wrong with her!? She felt terrible! She felt disgusting! She felt horrible! And she didn't know why! There was something gnawing at her being, something, something was stopping her to make such a promise, but she didn't know what it was.

She didn't... remember...

Oh no... Oh no no no...!

How much... did she forget...? Did she forget even more than this...? What else could she have possibly forgotten... What despicable things did she do...? No, no that can't be... She was taking it too far... She was taking her irrationality too far.

She needed, she needed to calm herself...

"I... Subaru... I'm so sorry..."

While Emilia was continuing to sob her eyes out in his shoulder, regretting her past and forgotten actions, loathing herself, Subaru began to notice something peculiar.

Why... was he here? Wasn't he just moments before... somewhere else? Wasn't he about to...

...

"What's going on?" Subaru muttered to himself, not understanding the reality before him.

"Wasn't it just nighttime a minute ago?" he asked, looking at the clearly bright sky.

Emilia slowly managed to calm her sobbing somewhat down, turning into frequent hiccups instead.

"The wound on my belly is gone..." He inspected his stomach, and it was healthy and fine. Nothing happened to it, as if whatever happened never happened.

But... it did happen, didn't it? It was way too vivid, way too realistic, and way too painful to be just a dream or whatever.

What's going on?

But more importantly... if he was here, then where was...

"Oh, right! Satella!" Emilia flinched into his neck as she heard Subaru call that name. She was so stupid! She was so stupid! Just why was she so stupid! Just why was she so stupid to give him that name! Why did she make that mistake! It made her want to cry even more.

"Damn it, didn't Puck ask me to take care of her? I have to get back to that shop!" Subaru couldn't forgive himself either if he was fine out here, but something happened to her instead.

He could never stomach that. If someone as useless as him lived instead of her... No!

In a rush, he immediately ran off, leaving Emilia in the dust.

"N-No! Wait! Subaru!" Emilia desperately whined after him. "Don't leave me!"

Emilia was not at all composed in any way. Things were happening way too fast for her heart to endure. Some tears were still rolling down her stained cheeks, her nose was runny, and her face looked like a mess. She couldn't part with him, she needed him. Him being alive and close to her was the only thing keeping her mind from collapsing entirely.

"Wait for me! Please! S-Subaru!" she cried, quickly running after him.

Her heart ached.

She couldn't part with him. No, she couldn't ever part with him.

---

In his rushed mind, Subaru ran into another alleyway, thinking it might be a shortcut to the slums.

Either of them weren't thinking. Why was he in the middle of the city again. Wasn't it nighttime a minute ago? Why was he uninjured? They didn't think. They were both too out of it to think clearly, since nothing made any sense to either of them, a state of being both of them despised.

"Where are you going?!"

However, he was stopped by a mean-spirited voice.

Emilia finally caught up to him when he stopped in his tracks.

"Subaru! Subaru... D-Don't run away like that... please...!" She clung onto his clothes. "Please don't leave me behind... I-I can't bear to see you being reckless..."

Then, she looked up, and saw what he was seeing.

A certain trio of thugs greeted her eyes.

...

What the hell.

What are they... doing here.

What kind of... sick shit is this...

Emilia's frantic desperation for Subaru was temporarily replaced with cold anger.

"W... What the hell do you guys want..." Emilia growled lowly, her gaze piercing holes in them. "Don't you get it? Leave us alone."

"Hey, why do you look so spooked?" the small one said with a sneer to Subaru, ignoring Emilia.

"If you don't wanna get hurt, cough up whatever you've got!" the lanky one threatened.

"What...?" Emilia furrowed her eyebrows in anger.

The same words... the exact same words... The gall this person had.

"You guys..." Meanwhile, Subaru looked at them with mere disappointment. "Did you see I was alone and decide to get revenge?" He was not feeling threatened by their presence at all anymore.

"Seriously..." Emilia glared at them. She couldn't believe those pathetic morons. "If you dare hurt Subaru again, I will not go easy on you..."

If these guys dare to hurt Subaru again, Emilia will punish them if she ever saw them again.

"Huh? What're you talking about?" the lanky one said, cocking his head. It seems like he had no idea what Subaru was talking about.

"Are you nuts?" the small one added insult to injury.

"Don't worry about it..." the round one said, deciding to pay no heed to Subaru's words. "Just leave everything you've got on the ground, and we'll let you go."

"..."

As much as Emilia wanted to smash their heads in at this moment, she knew she couldn't do anything.

But, she remembered, just moments before they... ended up here again.

What in the world happened to Subaru and her? She remembered her mind erupting in pure agony and wrath, ice and shadows engulfing everything she saw, then... nothing.

Was that real? Did she do that...? No... it couldn't have been real... She must have been hallucinating due to her shock. She had, after all, no power in this Trial.

This was a Trial, she had no power here.

No power at all.

"Subaru." Emilia said, wiping the remaining tears on her face away, taking a deep breath to calm herself. No matter how angry she became now, it would amount to nothing. Instead of trying to force her way through this, she should just try to advise him, anything to maybe influence his subconsciousness. "You can just turn around and run. The market is right behind you. They will not dare to do anything in public. Heck, you could even shout for help and people will notice."

Emilia was trying to think about this rationally. Either running, or shouting for help, no, doing both would end in the greatest result.

However, Subaru did not agree with her.

"Okay, fine. Everything I've got, huh?" Instead, he complied to their demand.

"Subaru?" Emilia was... surprised. He was complying? To those imbeciles? Yes, she did tell him to do exactly that last time, but back then he didn't have a proper escape route. Here, he could just turn around and run.

However, he slowly placed his bag down.

"I'm in a hurry, so I don't even care." he said dismissively.

"I..." Emilia mumbled. "I suppose that also works." Yeah, listening to their dumb demands was also a safe bet. It did leave her with a bad aftertaste, but if he was okay, nothing mattered.

"Hehe, now act like a dog. Get on all fours like a dog and howl 'Help me!'" Now, that was apparently not enough for the small one, as he uttered those stupid words.

"Don't get cocky!" Emilia hissed, her anger flaring up again. Are they really that petty!?

"Don't get cocky, bastard!" Subaru mirrored her words and promptly attacked. Placing his bag down was a feign, thus he had surprise on his side.

"Subaru!?" Emilia shouted, shocked to see him confront them again. "Didn't you learn from last-!"

He immediately went for the most dangerous one of the bunch, the lanky one with the knives, and gave Chin a hook to the chin, knocking him out in an instant.

With yet another roundhouse kick, Subaru kicked the small one in the stomach before they could react to his sudden attack. This time, the kick was strong enough to knock the small one out.

Then, the round one attacked in shocked outrage, but Subaru dodged his every slow and clumsy punch, and grabbed his arm mid-punch.

"Don't underestimate a truant kid with too much free time!" Whilst saying so, Subaru painfully twisted the thug's arm. "After swinging a wooden sword around all the time for no reason, my grip strength is over 70 kilograms!" To finish him off, Subaru kicked him right in the crotch.

Emilia flinched a little at the display of violence against the male anatomy, but not out of any sympathy.

The thug was incapacitated, and keeled over, groaning in masculine pain.

"I'm in a hurry!" Subaru scolded the defeated trio, well deservedly angry. "Don't get in my way again!"

And without another word, Subaru ran. He had much more important matters to attend to, after all. He could not busy himself with those nobodies any more than that.

Emilia looked at his retreating form, then back at the trio, then back at Subaru.

"C-Cool..." Emilia whispered in awe, readily admitting this. She did want to scold him too for being so reckless again, but... considering the one-sided outcome of this dogfight, Emilia could only praise him for it. She didn't mind him using dirty tricks, a fight was a fight in the end. And it looks like he quickly learned and adapted from the last encounter...

One versus three, and he won without a scratch. That was simply impressive, she had to admit.

Of course, if she had been there, she could have dispatched them with a single attack, physical or magical, but that was not the point. The point was that Subaru, an otherworlder with no superhuman strength, managed to defeat three thugs by himself. That was an impressive feat.

Then she noticed that she didn't see Subaru anymore...

Oh right, he ran off!

"Subaru! Wait! Wait for me!" Realizing so, Emilia ran after his hurried form.

---

Subaru ran, ran, and ran, trying to find the loot house again. He did not slack, he did not take breaks, and tried to find the way back to the slums as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, Emilia followed him at all times, worried, concerned, and confused.

Emilia did not exchange words with him, and only followed him with each step. She did not give him advice to reach the slums, nor did she try to stop him.

Because... all of Emilia's attention was spent on thinking, reflecting, and analyzing.

There was... so... much... to consider right now, now that she had the time to actually think about everything in a calm manner.

Subaru died, and she died. They both died.

That was undeniable. That was reality. That was not an illusion. She remembered it to every last detail. She remembered holding Subaru's hand, she remembered her own dying breaths.

They both died in the loot house.

But here they were, living.

That didn't make any... sense...

...

Did it...?

Did it make no sense?

Is that so?

Think, think... They died, but they were alive. How could something like that be?

Think.

It was daytime.

Think.

Those thugs didn't remember Subaru, but he remembered them.

Think.

He was alive, and unhurt.

Think.

'Puck! Shield her!'

He knew things he shouldn't.

Think-

"Agh..." Emilia clutched her chest. It hurt again, her chest hurt again.

No matter how much she thought about any of this, her mind refused to process it properly... She just couldn't think straight anymore. Every time she thought she began to understand, her heart ached.

"F-Finally... finally I've found it. It sure took me a long time, damn."

However, Emilia's thoughts were interrupted when Subaru found the loot house, slightly panting from the stress.

Yes, that was the loot house. Evening was slowly approaching. After all, Subaru had been searching for it for almost two hours now. But yes, that is definitely the loot house.

"I was just here, so I thought I would be able to find it again without getting lost, but..." Subaru spoke to himself.

His sense of direction in this city had been worse than he initially thought.

"Last time we came here I was talking with Satella, and my eyes were on her most of the time, so I guess it's no surprise I don't remember the way very well, damn it..."

But that didn't matter right now, did it. He was here, at the loot house, standing before its entry.

Emilia couldn't bring herself to acknowledge Subaru's compliment to her. The situation was too dire for anything of the sort. And, she didn't deserve it anyway.

Emilia hated this loot house. She hated the sight of it. She didn't want him to enter it again. Not again. But she knew, she couldn't do anything to stop him. He would enter it, no matter what she said.

But maybe... yes... Maybe this unexplainable nightmare they experienced was over. He would enter it, talk with Felt, and Emilia would soon enough show up as well.

That would put an end to this nightmare, and she could try to forget about all of this, this dreadful phenomena they experienced, she could forget about it.

"Yes..." Emilia whispered, nodding slightly. "It was just a horrible, horrible nightmare."

However, Subaru was not as superficially reassured as Emilia.

He was... afraid of this place. He stood before its entry, but he was almost petrified from seeing it again.

"Don't freak out..." he harshly said to himself. "Don't freak out, don't freak out!"

He remembered the blood. He remembered the corpse. He remembered the pain. Was it a dream? Was it a premonition? He didn't understand. But... he should stop worrying already! Anymore more than this would be stupid!

"Subaru..." Emilia called his name out in sympathy. Who would willingly enter the place where they... ended once? "You don't... have to go inside." She tried to appeal to him, to commit the same type of intellectual cowardice that she was committing, but...

'Am I stupid?' He reprimanded himself. 'After coming this far, I can't just leave without answers!'

Of course, she heard his hardened thoughts.

Emilia closed her eyes, and nodded in solemn acknowledgement. If that was his will, then she could do nothing to oppose it.

And so, he brought his hand up, and...

Knock. Knock.

"Is anyone there?" he asked aloud, hoping to draw any attention.

"..."

But he was met with silence.

It was just silent. They waited for a few more moments, but there came no answer from the other side of the door.

"No..." Emilia was the first to utter in horror. This cannot be happening. "Not again... That can't be..."

Just like Emilia, Subaru was also growing concerned over the lack of an answer.

"Someone... Someone's in there, right?" Subaru repeatedly slammed against the door, growing impatient, growing scared. "Please answer me! Please!"

Then, the door opened.

"Shut yer trap! You tryin' to bust down my door when you don't even know the signal or password?!" The person who opened the door was a giant of a geezer.

It was Rom.

Rom... was alive.

"You're..." Subaru stammered at the sight of him, while Emilia stared in pure relief.

"You're alive..." Emilia finished the sentence for him, relieved.

Yes... Yes! Whatever was going on, it was going to end right here. Rom was alive, it was not terribly late, he did not meet her, things were on track, everything was absolutely perfect-

Reinhard.

Emilia shivered, her relief drowned in renewed terror.

Where... was... Reinhard...?

She forgot about him again. Again!

Subaru did not meet Reinhard on his way to the loot house. That should not be possible. That was not how things went...

Emilia's eyes watered.

"No..." she mouthed in denial. "No...!"

She will not accept this. This cannot be it.

Never.

---

When they entered, there was no trace of the bloodshed to be seen. Everything was apparently fine, at least that's what Subaru thought when he looked at everything. No blood, or anything else that might look like the aftermath of a violent murder.

"What're you all fidgety for? Are your balls chafin' ya that much?" the old man said to him, snickering.

"I'm not worried about the position of my privates!" Subaru shouted at the geezer's jab. "Don't start the conversation with potty humor!"

"You're already interrupting my evening booze." Rom said while he took a little (heavy) sip from his drink. "You'll kill me if you start talkin' about boring stuff now."

"Don't drink while the sun's still up. You'll die young." Subaru shook his head as if he knew any better. But then, his eyes turned serious.

While Subaru was joking around, Emilia flinched when she heard his words. She had grown very sensitive regarding that subject.

"Actually, this is a dumb question, but..." Subaru hesitated, thinking about his next words.

"...Have you died recently?"

What Subaru remembered, it was way too real. Maybe this did all happen, and this guy before him just got resurrected by some otherworldly magic? This is a whole new world, so maybe resurrection wasn't much of a big deal here? Like something along the lines of 'Ay, this random dude just disemboweled me yesterday, was real funny, lemma tell ya. Anyway, let's drink' or something like that?

It was a ridiculously optimistic presumption, but he had to start from somewhere here.

"Subaru..." Emilia could tell what he was thinking. He was just as confused as she was. He really remembered everything that happened too. He remembered his death. Yet, she was the one who forgot.

Subaru remembered it all, while Emilia went ahead and forgot everything. It was so cruel.

They died, but their death was undone. They... Returned.

Slowly, ever so slowly, a hint of a thought emerged in her mind. But she quickly purged it, for it was abominable.

However, Subaru's goofy sounding question was answered with a hearty laugh from the old man.

"Guahahah! Well, I admit I'm an old man at death's door, but I ain't really died yet."

"Okay." Subaru took the answer at face value. What else was he supposed to do? "Then have you seen a girl with silver hair?"

"Silver hair? I ain't seen anyone that conspicuous."

Well that's that then.

'Was it all a dream? Then exactly how much of it was a dream, and why am I in this world?' Subaru thought, desperate for the meaning of all this.

Emilia didn't believe even for a second that this was a dream. That past was reality. However, the implication of that reality was...

"I don't... know..." Emilia hated her answer. She hated it. Normally, when Subaru gave questions from himself, no matter what subject or topic it was, Emilia was there to answer them for him, even if he never heard her. It was their shtick, their routine, one of the habits she developed over the years. She was his personal encyclopedia, yet now she was as useless as ever.

But, the answer she gave him... it was a lie.

She did have an idea.

But she wouldn't admit it.

Not to Subaru, not to anyone else...

And not to herself.

Because... if she did... then... then... then...

His achievements, his accomplishments, his struggles, his victories...

They would be-

"Gh...!"

Her mind suppressed it. Because if it didn't... her heart, it ached, it ached, it would...

"So what are you doin' here, anyway?" Rom asked the noisy boy.

"Oh... I'm looking for an insignia. It belongs to a silver-haired girl who helped me out. I don't know why, but it's important to her. I think she said it had a jewel in the center."

"An insignia with a jewel..." Rom hummed in thought. "Sorry, but I ain't got anything like that."

"Are you sure? Try to think! Maybe you're just old and senile?" Subaru challenged the giant's memory, but Emilia did not like this.

"Subaru, you really, reaaally don't have to go that far! Really! You can just leave, and all is going to be fine!"

Emilia abandoned her rational thinking and just wanted to see Subaru out of this place, no matter how contradictory it all was. She just wanted to see him safe at this point.

"If I can't remember it when I'm at my best, with booze in me, the only explanation is that I don't know it!" Rom loudly denied any memory. "But... I've got someone bringing in some goods later. I'm told it's some fine loot. There's a good chance it could be what you're lookin' for."

Now that's sounds promising.

"Is the one bringing it in a girl named Felt?" Subaru asked, already knowing the answer.

"What, you even know who swiped it?" Rom huffed.

Bingo. Subaru smirked.

"Of course, whether you'll be able to afford it is another matter." The giant took a look at the boy's weird appearance.

"Ha! It's not use trying to size me up. I'm as broke as they come, after all."

"Ain't no use talkin' about it, then." He scoffed in disappointment.

"No, there is the option of trading."

"Now that you mention it, you've got some unusual stuff there." Finally, Rom noticed the quaint bag that Subaru had with him, filled with all the stuff he bought from the convenience store in his world.

It had been mere hours since he bought that stuff, in his world, but for Emilia, it might as well have been days.

Think about this... Subaru got unceremoniously transported to another world, and moments later, he got himself involved with her, a half-elf, rode himself into some murder scheme in just a few hours, and got... killed... and now they were here again, somehow alive, as if nothing of this ever happened...

How in the world can something like that just happen like that!? What are the chances of this ever happening?! Is her world just that dangerous in comparison? Was it that easy to get into deadly trouble?

Or... was it that it wasn't necessarily this world that was at fault, but her? Is her nature, her very existence, just that dangerous to others?

'Witch!'

A child's shrill screams emerged in her mind.

No. She refused them. She refused it. She was not a Witch.

'Witch of Envy!'

She was not that monster.

She would protect. She would cherish. She would love.

All for him.

She looked back at Subaru, and firmed her convictions once again. The moment she left this Trial, she would be there for Subaru and protect everything they cherished. She would prove to the whole world that she was not a monster to be feared.

Be that as it may, meanwhile, Subaru smiled at the giant. Now that he had a chance to barter, he eagerly took it.

"That's right. For example, this is a corn potage snack. It's super tasty!" As if he was some sort of dandy merchant, he showed off the bag of chips.

"That's food?" However, Rom looked at the bag as if it was an alien thing, let alone edible.

Subaru gave him the bag of chips. While Rom fumbled around with it, he managed to make the bag explode, causing the corn chips to fly around everywhere.

None acknowledged it.

He grabbed a bite.

"I see! What an odd flavor!" Saying so, Rom took another bite, then another, then another.

"Right? Right? Hey! Don't just start eating them!"

"Well, I dunno what you plan to trade, but you'll have to come back after Felt gets here. Mm, that's good!" Rom was blissfully savoring the chips while Subaru was fruitlessly trying to get them back from him.

Emilia looked at the duo playing around.

While the current situation, this great unknown they found themselves in, looked truly grim to her, this scene, seeing Subaru play around like that, to have a real interaction with someone else that was not her, made her smile just a tiny bit.

---

And so they waited outside the loot house for Felt to arrive. And waited. And waited.

Emilia had some more time to think about everything in the quietness, so did Subaru.

The topics they thought about were very much similar.

Subaru was still confused about the nature of his transportation, and the events that transpired after said transportation.

Was it all a dream? Was his meeting with Satella a dream? Was his death a dream? And, why was he summoned in the first place? He didn't expect a grand welcome anymore, but something, anything? Why would someone summon him, and then not confront him? Was he even summoned? Or was it just an accident? He honestly had no idea about any of this. For now, he would wait, and wait until Felt arrives. That sounds like a plan for now.

Emilia felt very similar.

Just... what in the world happened to them? She remembered everything, it was real, of that she was certain, it was not a dream. She and Subaru died together in the loot house.

Yet... they were here. The monotony of that statement, that line of thought, the constant repetition of it should bore her out at this point, but it didn't. It was that nonsensical.

Also, her remembered memories. Taking aside her memories with Subaru, how come she remembered Rem's existence? As far as she could tell, she remembered everything about the maid. How when she first met her she was a stoic, distant, yet capable maid. And when Subaru joined the mansion, she was at first uncomfortably cold and unfriendly, but not even a week later turned into a lovestruck and doting girl towards him.

But then, Gluttony struck, and everyone, except Subaru for some mysterious reason, forgot about her. Even her sister forgot about her.

And now, she remembered her again. Why?

Is this another effect this Trial had on her? Or was it something else? Was she just naturally remembering things? No, that wouldn't explain Rem's case...

Also, Emilia didn't immediately notice, but... the chips that Rom ate, they weren't eaten here. She distinctly remembered that those chips used to be the award of the snow festival's snow sculpture competition.

It was, once again, like Reinhard, a deviancy to her memory. Which meant...

This was not going to be it, right?

...

What... is she talking about?

It?

What was... that supposed to mean?

Tell me, what was that supposed to mean. What are you trying to imply...?

'I p-promise this won't happen e-ever ag-!'

That something was amiss? That things were wrong? That this is not going to end the way it should? That this was... not... it...?

Preposterous!

He will... survive...

He will... survive...!

He will survive!

Her hope was growing noisy.

Subaru took the sight of the slums in. He never really saw slums in person before, but now that he saw them, and had the time to take a better look at them, it was a sad sight, honestly.

"I guess, in any world, there are people with money and people without. It sure is easy to see the difference here." Subaru muttered, growing more disillusioned with the dream that the world he was transported to was utopic.

While Emilia could have delivered a diatribe about the socioeconomic disparities monarchies tended to face, and elaborate on the potential ways how she could economically reform the country without turning it into a plutocracy, she was, frankly, not in the mood for it.

Speaking of the economy, here arrived one of its victims: Felt.

"Ah, there she is..." Emilia said, feeling complicated. How should she feel, honestly? They were now one step closer, but a step closer to what? To what...

Her heart ached.

"Hey, what're you doing there?" Felt looked at Subaru disapprovingly, seeing how he literally sat in her way to the loot house. "You're in my way."

Hearing her words, he finally noticed her, halting his thoughts.

"Felt!" he called out, glad to finally see her. But Felt didn't look as happy, a little caught off guard actually.

"You know me?"

"Of course I do! I've been waiting for you!" He smiled at her.

"What for?"

"Wait, are you saying you don't remember me?" Now realizing that she didn't recognize him, his mood plummeted a bit.

"Subaru?" Emilia inquired from the sidelines. "I... I thought you realized it too...? We are the only ones who remember. Nobody else does."

Now that she saw him react that way to Felt, Emilia began to understand better just how confused Subaru really was. He was even more confused than she was about all of this. Of course, what did she expect? She had the comfort of watching everything by being a ghost, she didn't have to partake in this reality, and could freely think whenever and wherever she pleased, while he had to actually take part in reality. Not to mention, he was the one who was suddenly in this crazy situation, no her. Of course he would have more difficulty in adjusting. How selfish of her to think otherwise.

"Have we met?" Felt raised an eyebrow. "You know, I'm a busy woman, so unless they leave a huge impression, I don't remember most people I meet."

"I'd say that was a pretty huge impression..." Subaru mumbled to himself. "Well, forget that. I want to negotiate for the insignia you have."

Now that made the thief smile.

"Oh, so that's it, huh. All right, I'll hear you out."

Emilia sighed silently. She didn't know why, but she sighed.

With that, they went to the loot house together.

Knock. Knock.

Felt knocked, and quicker and more diligent than last time, Rom answered.

"For a rat..." his voice gruffly said.

"Poison." Felt replied.

"For a white whale..."

"A harpoon."

"To the noble dragon lord, we are..."

"Shitbags."

Emilia held no opinion. Though, Subaru looked a little surprised by the politically offensive password-chain.

And thus, the gates to the grand and majestic loot house opened.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Old Man Rom." Felt said, unapologetic. "My target was more persistent than I thought. It took a while to shake them."

Emilia knew that she was talking about her. It did tick her off a little. If she had been more observant, if she had caught Felt, then none of this would have ever happened-

"No..." Emilia scolded herself, shaking her head. She couldn't allow herself to fall into the endless abyss that was self-loathing. She needed to be strong, she needed to be strong for Subaru. Of course, she could not deny her uselessness, but if she indulged herself and drowned in it, then she could never grow to become a stronger person. She saw what happened to Subaru, so she needed to remain steadfast. For him, she would become a pillar capable of supporting the world itself if needed.

And, on the other side, she would have never met Subaru if she hadn't lost her insignia. That alone was enough bring her back to her senses.

As they went inside, Felt quickly took the glass of milk Rom handed to her and took a sip.

"Hey, Old Man Rom, did you water down this milk? It's nasty." She complained to him, not liking the taste one bit.

"Hey, I give you something outta the goodness of my heart, and you call it gross?" Rom defended himself as he patted her head.

Subaru looked at the pair with a mixture of fondness and jealousy.

"You two are closer than I had either hoped or expected. I'm feeling left out over here."

Hearing his words, Emilia proceeded to pat his head, something she took great pleasure in. "There, there..."

Giving Subaru affection was her favorite thing to do, and she would always use any excuse to do it. Emptying her mind with its current and dark thoughts and filling them with thoughts about making Subaru happy was improving her mood.

"Don't talk like a wuss when you've got a face almost as scary as Old Man Rom's." Felt sneered at him.

"Subaru's face is as handsome as it gets!" As if it was an instinctive reaction, Emilia immediately defended him. "Take that back!"

"...People have said many things to me, but you tell me I can compete with this old guy?" While Emilia's lovestruck reply seemed almost childish, Subaru's was much more grounded, so grounded in fact that it wasn't even humorous.

As such, it was enough to break even Felt.

"Okay... I went too far that time." Felt rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Sorry, Bro."

"Apology accepted." Emilia nodded in approval.

"...You two aren't in some conspiracy to try to piss me off, are you?" Rom finally chimed in, seemingly offended by their words.

Now that she heard him, Emilia's mind cleared a little. What kind of chummy banter was this? Wasn't this a secret place for lowlifes to trade illegal items around? Well, Emilia liked this banter, but it was still strange.

"Right, well, why don't we get down to business? How much will you pay for it?" Seemingly agreeing with her, Felt wanted to start with the actual business.

"Ah, I get it now." Emilia said, now a little disappointed. It was to honey him in, to make them more receiving to him and maximize the potential profit.

If he liked them, maybe he would invest a little more into them, thus: money.

From Felt's standpoint it made perfect sense, but still, Emilia didn't like it.

"You don't waste time..." Subaru said, also noticing the subtleties a little. "Before I answer, you do have the insignia, right?"

"Of course I do! See?" Pulling it from her breast pocket, Felt presented the insignia, the catalyst to everything that had happened so far. As pointed out, it grew to be an object of resentment for Emilia, but she knew it was an irrational dislike.

The insignia truly was a catalyst. It started her career as a Royal Candidate, and it facilitated her meeting with Subaru.

"This one's got a jewel in it, so I had to work pretty hard to get it. If you can pay enough to match my effort, we'll both be happy."

"I have no money." Subaru confidently said in return, smiling like a fool.

"Wording." Emilia tried to correct him, but alas. Subaru had the talent of being a goofy and funny guy, but it wasn't... appropriate for every occasion.

"Eh?" Felt made. "Then we have nothing to discuss!" Rightfully irritated, Felt shouted at him.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I don't have money, but I have things worth money."

His flip phone.

"What I have here is a magical device that can stop time for everyone, everywhere... A 'cell phone'!"

"What's that?" Felt looked at the phone intently.

"Never seen one of those before." Rom did as well.

Emilia stared at Subaru for a few moments...

"So..." Emilia slowly began. "You really wanted to trade your phone, which you have used for years, for my insignia? You would really trade it for a girl you barely know?" Emilia was honestly at a loss of words. She knew he didn't do it out of some superficial sense of justice, or to get under her skirt (yuck), but he simply did it because he wanted to.

That was both admirable and foolish, given the dangerous circumstances.

"You really are too kind for your own good." Emilia softly said to him. "I really need to teach you how to be more selfish."

It was her own twisted selfishness speaking, but she wouldn't mind if he became her personal gigolo (the wholesome kind), living his life for the purpose of being happy and content, with no hardships, nothing to make him sad anymore, to live with her in peace and carefree happiness while she provided for all his needs. His smile alone would be enough for her to take any hardships on for him. But knowing him, and the burden his hikikomori lifestyle weighted on him over the years, that was most likely not something he would find very much attractive for the foreseeable future.

Then, may he become anything he wants to be, her gigolo, a renowned artisan, an inventor, a worker, she will wholeheartedly support him in whatever he wishes to be.

Truly, Emilia couldn't wait for the Trial to end.

"Take this! Nine shots per second: Continuous Shot!" Calling the name of his phone's special attack, Subaru took pictures of the pair, with its flash very much enabled, disorienting them with its sudden and bright light.

"Whoa! Hey! What's that sound?! And that was too bright!"

"Are you tryin' to kill me?! Don't go makin' light of this old man with dodgy tricks like that!"

Both of them were rightfully confused and angry by his sudden prank.

"Subaru..." Emilia looked at him with light disapproval. Again, Subaru was taking this not seriously enough, and this was actually dangerous. What if one of them had photosensitive epilepsy? That could have gone south real quick there.

"Now, hold on." Unperturbed by their words, Subaru looked at his phone. Then, having found the pictures, he showed them to them.

"Is this..." Felt couldn't believe what she was seeing. Well, actually, she could, but wow. It was her face that she was seeing.

"Heh." He relished her reaction. Ah, how good it felt to come from a world where science was advanced. While he wasn't the most highly educated as he skipped high school and all that, he could surely invent a thing or two that could benefit this world.

Emilia could tell what he was thinking from his look alone. Yes, that is not a bad idea, and she could surely help him with that by great amounts. Why stop at mayonnaise when they could recreate an industrial and technological revolution without its environmental detriments by combining magic and technology?

Emilia could already imagine the great things she could implement, without bringing harm to the world.

"Them's me and Felt's faces." Rom correctly assessed the content the picture. "What sort of magic is that?"

"I told you, it's a mythical item that can freeze a moment in time. With this, you can capture moments in time and store them in here."

"I see! That is amazing!" Felt exclaimed in wonder.

"Never seen the like. Is that one of the 'metia' I've been hearing about lately?" Rom asked.

"Metia?" Subaru asked in return, never having heard that term before.

"They're-"

"It's the name for devices that let people whose gates aren't open to use magic like real magic users." Rom explained it to him, interrupting Emilia.

"Why do I even bother." Emilia sighed. While she asked herself that a few instances, this time blew her confidence more than usual.

"I'm more concerned with the price. What can I get out of this metia?" Felt, her greed very apparent in her eyes, asked.

"Hm..." Emilia wondered, too, how much it would be worth in the eyes of this world. Her Lugunican economics were quite rusty, but it was an interesting thought exercise.

If she took the flip phone with the value Subaru presented, and treated it like any other metia, then it could maybe fetch 30 or so holy coins. But, if they actually understood what this flip phone was, and understood that it was not a magical object, but an incomprehensibly advanced piece of mythic technology... Forget about 30 holy coins, or 300, this flip phone would end up in the royal treasury alongside Volcanica's blood. If they dared study it, Lugunica could have a technological breakthrough of never seen before magnitudes, changing the world's technology forever. It would be the world's most historic event, alongside the Witch of Envy's cataclysmic rampage.

What Subaru possessed here, if he played his cards right, he could change the world, and he would forever be known as the man who allowed the world to advance to unimaginable levels, receiving fame and fortune of amazing extents. She would not be surprised if he rose to the level of sage in the eyes of the people.

"..."

The fact that Subaru wanted to trade it here for her insignia was utterly ridiculous, if she thought about it, like damn.

He didn't think about this at all. How cute, lovable, endearing, and adorable, but oh so stupid.

Her Subaru was such a little dunderhead.

"Well, it's my first time using a metia, too. But I'd say there's no doubt it'll fetch more than that insignia." Rom was very sure of this.

"Very much so..." Emilia could only utter. Wait... Didn't Subaru... like... sell his phone to Russell?

"..."

Oh goodness gracious! Subaru you nincompoop of a dunderhead!

She understood! She understood very well that he did it all to save her back then! She knows! But still! That is such a gut punch! That Fellow doesn't have any idea what that phone really is! And even if he does find out, it is in his hands, not theirs! They cannot capitalize on it, except if Emilia somehow recreated one with her knowledge, but even that would be a big stretch. While she had some knowledge on engineering and software, she couldn't just go ahead recreate a phone and it's OS just like that!

Oh wait... Maybe she could. What was she talking about earlier? Combining magic and technology? That should make it waaay easier if she put her mind into it.

But then again, Emilia shouldn't be so hung up about this... Why fixate on a measly flip phone when she could potentially recreate anything?

That thought calmed her down again.

"Hah..." She heaved a very big sigh, mixed with both relief and crossness.

All that thinking Emilia had done had been going on in a mere moment, for Subaru's next words were:

"Then that settles it! This cell phone for the insignia! Negotiations complete-!"

"...Y-Yeah-!"

But while both Subaru Emilia and celebrated their victory (the latter a little more hesitant), when he tried to grab the insignia, Felt snatched it away, robbing both of them their breaths.

"Nope. Not yet." Felt shook her head, almost in a taunting way, which aggravated them both.

"Why not?"

"Why not!?" Both Subaru and Emilia asked, Emilia a little more desperate to get this over with.

She could not forget, the time was ticking. As much as she wanted to forget, it was an inevitability.

"You're not the only one I'm negotiating with for this." Felt explained to him.

"Huh?"

"...Huh?" Again, the two of them questioned at the same time.

Wait...

Something was wrong. It was not Subaru's situation that was wrong this time, but something entirely else...

"Besides, I nabbed this insignia because I was asked to. My client told me I could get ten holy coins for it."

...What?

Wait wait... This whole thing, this whole stolen insignia thing... was planned? It was commissioned?

Wait, how?

This... this brought a whole new perspective to Emilia.

This insignia incident was not some freak accident, but completely planned?

By whom?

The insignias and the Royal Selection were all secret at that point. Just who would and could do such a thing? And ten holy coins for it? While that was not a kingdom's fortune, that is not cheap...

While Emilia brooded, Subaru was not too impressed.

"You already had a deal with the one you stole it for? I don't know what ten holy coins would be worth, but..."

"That metia you've got is worth at least twenty holy coins... No, there are probably fanciers out there who'd pay more for a thing like that." Rom said.

"Really?! That means I can get away with overcharging for it!" Felt exclaimed enthusiastically, her demeanor being a stark contrast to what she just said.

"That sounds like a stupid idea..." Emilia commented. Overcharging anything is most of the time a stupid idea, really, and bad for business. Depending on the negotiations, it could end really... Is that Felt really a professional?

"So, when and where are you meeting your client?" Subaru asked.

"Don't worry. Negotiations will be held here. If a little thing like me dealt with them alone, I'd be sunk if a client decided to bilk me. But with Old Man Rom here, I don't have to worry, heh." Felt giggled.

Oh, so he was her insurance, Emilia noted, looking at Rom. Normally, that wouldn't be a bad idea, if a little shortsighted...

Knock. Knock.

It seems like the person in question has arrived.

But wait...

"Do they know the password?" Rom gruffly asked Felt.

If it had been commissioned...

"Oh, I didn't mention it. That's probably for me. I'll go check." Felt went to the door.

And is going to be negotiated...

"You're okay with letting her use you like this?" Subaru spoke to Rom while she didn't look.

Then there must be a person who negotiates...

"Well, it ain't like we're total strangers. I've known her a long time, so I'll help her out." he said, grabbing the enormous club next to the counter.

When they fought back then...

"You know, even I have to give a wry chuckle at the sight of someone looking like such a barbarian." Subaru smiled at the sight of it.

There was no negotiator when she arrived...

"Well, look at where we are. Everyone around here is desperate just to survive. It's common for youngers to join forces with others in similar situations to keep themselves alive. But Felt ain't cut out for that. That's why I gotta look out for her." Rom said, the grandfatherly tone he had went not lost on Subaru.

Except...

"I was right. It was for me. Over here. Care to sit down?" Felt returned, along with the negotiator.

"..."

No...

No.

Not again.

Why was she here...!

...Elsa!

"There seem to be several outsiders here." the fiendish bowel hunter noted, scanning the room's inhabitants.

"Well, I'd be in trouble if you bilked me. We weaklings have our own brand of smarts." Felt answered honestly.

Why was Elsa here!

Emilia should not have been surprised. Not even a little bit. But she could not bear the sight of the one who murdered Subaru. Her wrath was flaring up. Her thirst for revenge was rising.

But, most importantly, her fear for Subaru was killing her, stifling her rage.

"I know this older fellow, but who's the young man?" Elsa, uncaring of the half-elf's wrath and intense fear, looked at Subaru with mild curiosity.

"This guy's your rival. He's the other person negotiating with me." Felt explained to the murderer.

"Please, not again..." Emilia started to beg once again, turning to Subaru. "Please, Subaru, just... just give up on the insignia, okay? Just call this off, and leave. Right now. Please." Emilia didn't know what to do but beg to Subaru. She didn't care how, she just wanted this danger to end.

But of course, he would not react to her words. He never did, and never will.

And so, the negotiations began.

---

"I see. I understand the situation now." Elsa said with her usual unnerving smile, and placed the glass of milk down.

Civilized, they sat at the round table, Subaru and Elsa facing each other as rivals in this deal.

"So that means you two will be bidding against each other. I don't really care who gets the insignia, so I'll sell it to the highest bidder."

"I think I like that personality of yours. And how much did this young man bid?" Elsa found Felt's bluntness endearing.

Meanwhile, Emilia found each and every second she spent in the same room as that monstrosity unnerving, flinching at every movement she made. That thing could snap at any moment and kill everyone in this room, and Emilia could do nothing to change that fact.

She looked at Subaru, trembling, fearing for his life all this time, but the boy who had no idea in what kind of danger he was, was sitting there, nervous at the sight of the bowel hunter. Not because he found her particularly scary at the moment, but because her voluptuous figure and scandalous clothing, with its exposed stomach and top-to-bottom cleavage, made it easy for her to seduce and distract a boy his age, not that the bowel hunter cared.

Emilia couldn't even think of being jealous for a shred of a second.

"...I'm putting up this metia." Subaru presented his flip phone, repressing a stutter. "It's a rare item, probably the only one of its kind in this world." As Subaru said so, he took a photo of Elsa and showed it to her. "That muscleman tells me it's worth no less than twenty holy coins." His gaze barely managed to avoid her cleavage.

"A metia... As it happens, the client sent me with some extra funds. Just so I'd be prepared to sweeten the deal." Elsa said sweetly.

So it was official. Someone had planned to take the insignia from Emilia, voiding her from entering the Royal Selection.

Who would do something like that? Up until that point, she was a large unknown, isolated, almost nobody knew of her existence. The most prominent figure who knew her was Roswaal, but he was her backer, so that wouldn't make any sense. Who found out about her, and had a strong enough motivation to drive her out of the Selection before it could even begin?

While her very existence was loathed by all, thinking that even someone of high influence would risk something like this... didn't make sense to her. There were so many conspiracies she had no idea about it seems. It's so ironic. She knows almost everything worth knowing about Earth, but next to nothing about her world.

She really needed to change that if she wanted to make this world a peaceful and safe place for Subaru to live in.

"The client... So you were asked to fetch it, too?" Subaru inquired.

"That's right. The client is the one who wants it. Would you happen to be in the same business?"

"Being in the same business as me would mean they're unemployed!"

Nobody dignified the pinnacle of witticism – Subaru – with any acknowledgement.

Emilia would have normally given Subaru some reassuring words at times like these, but she was too anxious to say anything right now.

"So, this unemployed guy has named a price that puts him far in the lead. What price is your master putting on it?" Felt rolled her eyes at Subaru, and asked Elsa.

Elsa pulled out the funds, the funds being 20 holy coins.

Their eyes widened.

Rom immediately counted them.

"Twenty, exactly."

"These are all the holy coins my employer sent with me. Are they not quite enough?" Elsa's smile was, as always, creepy.

Subaru looked troubled, now that he saw the actual amount his rival possessed. There was nothing else he had with him that could compete with his phone. His corn chips? Eaten. His ramen? Pretty worthless. His tracksuit? No thank you.

He had no cards to deal with anymore. Not like they would believe him if he attempted to give them otherworldly knowledge.

Rom saw the face Subaru made, and shook his head in disappointment.

"You're a man! Don't make that pathetic face! I told you, your metia is worth no less than twenty..."

He was right. Emilia was thankful to Rom's earnestness towards Subaru.

"As I see it, victory in this deal is leaning toward the boy. Sorry for you and your employer, but you'd better bag up those coins and leave." Rom said, finalizing the deal.

"Yes!" Subaru shouted in victory, standing up and posing in grandeur.

They all looked at him expressionlessly, save Emilia, who was indecisive whether to be happy or scared.

"W-What? What's wrong with a little victory pose? I'm psyched!"

"No one said anything. Go as crazy as you want. I don't care, as long as I get my profit." While Felt's words were rather harsh, Emilia agreed.

Elsa stood up, not looking too bothered by this.

Emilia eyed her with suspicion. She didn't sense any hostility from her, so, maybe, maybe they were in the clear, after all?

"Uh, sorry, Elsa-san. You'll probably get in trouble, huh?" Subaru felt sorry about this, but a deal was a deal, and he won it fair and square.

"It can't be helped." Elsa shrugged nonchalantly. "It was my employer's fault for trying to underpay. Well, this deal has ended in disappointment for me, but I'll be taking my leave now."

"...Huh? Seriously?" Emilia questioned. Is this it? Were they off the hook? That's... great!

A possibility came to Emilia's mind. A positive possibility. A great possibility! So, whatever that phenomena was that happened last time, will happen again, but peacefully. He will just have the memory of this happening, but without any problems...

Yes, yes that could be something. She didn't really understand what was going on, not even what she was talking about, but yes, that sounds nice, whatever it was.

Yes. Yes. That must be it.

Great. Wonderful. Fantastic.

"Hah... And here I was worrying..." Emilia sighed in utter, utter relief. So what would happen next, then, Emilia wondered. Would they seal the deal and the same thing will happen again? Was this... reset, a timer? By all means, do that. Emilia's mood improved dramatically, she even was in the mood to be playful, anything to drown out her dark thoughts.

"Also, Subaru..." She winked at him, allowing herself to become a little inappropriate herself. "I noticed how you looked at Elsa there. Is that also something you're into? Was it... the clothes?" Emilia pulled at her skirt and overknee boots, emphasizing the 'absolute territory' of her succulent thighs. "Or... the presentation?" She crossed her arms, subtly pushing her own ample breasts together.

"It's duly noted."

Ah, how great it feels to just play around without having to worry about the future. Living in the present without worries, just outlandishly teasing and flirting around and not worrying about the continued safety of her love, what a treat-

"By the way." Elsa suddenly said to him.

"..."

There was a brief, sickening silence.

"What do you intend to do with that insignia?"

A monstrous shiver ran down Emilia's spine.

Her playful emotions were eviscerated.

Her eyes widened.

Her composure left her.

She was wrong.

She was wrong.

She was wrong.

"S-S-Subaru..." Emilia, mustering her courage, stuttered. "D-don't... don't tell her... No matter what, don't, tell, her...!"

Whatever he does, he cannot tell her, under any circumstance! If he does, if he does, then...!

This can be averted. There is a chance! This can still be salvaged.

"Lie to her... Subaru, lie to her... Don't tell her the truth...!"

Tell her that is it confidential 'I'm not allowed to tell you', or make up some superficial lie 'I have no idea', or roleplay even 'There are some people out there who are very much interested in such artifacts', but don't tell her the truth!

However, Subaru disappointed her hopes.

"Oh, I'm going to find its owner and return it to her."

"No!" Emilia shrieked, pulling at him.

It was now! Now! They needed to flee! It is too late! They need to go right now!

"So..." Elsa began to smile...

"No! No! No! Take back what you said Subaru! Quickly! Get out of here! Give her the insignia! Anything!"

She knew it was useless. No matter what he said now, it was too late.

"You're with them, then." Elsa's words were chilling their bones.

Suddenly, Felt tackled him from his seat, grounding him to the floor.

"W-What?" Subaru shouted at Felt, angry and confused.

"Do you want to die?!" Felt screamed back.

Both Felt and Emilia thought the same thing. Emilia couldn't describe how glad she was that Felt protected him.

"Ara. You dodged my strike." Elsa hummed, pointing her kukri blades where he was last standing. If Felt hadn't tackled him, she would have slashed him open. He began to recognize that as his eyes widened.

And so, the battle began. Rom was the first to act and charged at Elsa with his giant wooden club.

However, the assassin was too quick for the giant old man, and dodged his every thunderous bash with the club.

"This is my first battle to the death with a giant!" Elsa practically gleamed, immersed in her lust for battle.

"Quiet, little girl! I'll grind you up and feed you to the rats!" Rom was having none of it and mercilessly attacked her. His pounds and bashes all missed their target, destroying the loot house from the inside. One table exploded, the wooden ground splintered, no object could resist the might of the giant.

"This is bad!" Subaru exclaimed, seeing them battle. He began to process the situation around him. Just a second ago, he negotiated and won, and now he had committed the terrible mistake of saying he would bring the insignia back to its owner. Like holy shit! How dumb could he be?! And because of that, they fought now! They battled to their deaths because of him! Holy fucking shit!

Meanwhile, Emilia urgently scanned the room for any escape routes. But there were none. The only viable one was the front door, and that one was blocked by their battle.

"Don't worry." However, Felt was not fearful. "There's no way Old Man Rom will lose."

"No!" Emilia firmly rebutted her. "He will lose! We need to get out of here, fast!"

"Take this!" Rom shouted, missing another bash.

Then...

As if Emilia prophesied it, Elsa took the opportunity, and sliced his arm off. The arm with its club landed on the floor with a heavy thud, and he violently sprayed blood.

"Old Man Rom!" Felt yelled, horrified at the sight.

Emilia looked for a way out of this, but there was no opening to escape to. They didn't have much time left.

"Damn it...!" Rom could only grunt, the pain hindering his movement.

Elsa smiled sadistically at the sight.

"I forgot to say-" Elsa began.

"I can at least take you with me!" With one last suicidal move, Rom intended to kill Elsa, but...

"Grgha...!"

Out of his mouth emerged a pained and bloody gargle.

The front of his neck was bleeding profusely.

She stabbed him in with the milk glass' shards, the remains of what he had destroyed earlier. His throat was filling itself with blood.

"Thank you for the milk."

With Elsa's taunting words, Rom keeled over, bleeding out, suffocating in his own blood.

It only took a few seconds for him to stop moving entirely.

Dead.

Rom, the old giant, was dead. Just like that, in such a short moment, he died. His blood was spreading all around him, covering the floor with crimson.

"I'll return this."

Gently, Elsa put the glass down on the floor as if it mattered.

Subaru couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe what was happening in front of his eyes.

That corpse over there, that was Rom. That was a person. He had talked with that person. That was a person who lived a live, someone who had dreams and aspirations. And now that person was dead, violently murdered in cold blood, because he had been careless.

Rom was dead because of him.

'It's my fault.'

Emilia understood what was going on in his head right now, but now was not the time. They needed to get out of here, now!

"You bitch..." Finally, realizing that her grandfather had been killed, Felt growled at Elsa. "How dare you?"

"Ara? It seems you have more courage than your friend there. But if you resist, you may very well get hurt." Elsa's words dripped with sweet poison.

"Like you don't intend to kill me either way, you psychopath!"

"If you move around, my hands might slip. I'm quite rough at handling blades, you see."

"Disgusting..." Emilia spat, hearing Elsa's pathetic excuses. The bowel hunter was truly a heinous monster that needed to be stopped. But neither Felt nor Subaru were capable of something like this, so they had to flee.

"Sorry you got caught up in this." Felt apologized to Subaru, looking back at his huddled form.

In the midst of this, Emilia began to look at Felt with a new light. Not only did she save Subaru's life and let Rom fight with Elsa, now she was protecting him by fighting herself.

Emilia admired that, as much as the situation allowed her to.

"I..." Subaru wanted to refute her apology, and tell her that he was undeserving of an apology, but before he could even muster a coherent sentence, she ran towards Elsa with her superhuman speed in the blink of an eye.

However, she didn't land her surprise attack from behind, as Elsa blocked it without much effort. A useless clang resounded through the air.

"How wonderful." Elsa smiled wickedly at her prey. "I can see you are loved by this world. I envy you!"

Then... Felt was cut open. Immediately.

Her bleeding corpse collapsed.

She was dead, instantly.

Subaru was alone.

Both Felt and Rom were dead. They both died in front of his eyes, murdered by this killer. They were dead, because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

The eyes of the bowel hunter landed on Subaru, and Emilia could only look in terror.

"Stay away from him!" Emilia screamed at the killer, standing between her and Subaru. "Stay back!"

She knew it was useless. But what could she do!

What could she do! What could she do!

No...

What could he do!?

Could he plead with his life? That would never work with a monster like her. Fight? There is no way he would survive one serious attack from her. Flee? She is way too fast. Distract her? With what? Bargain? Something like her would have no interest in his possessions, and even if she did, she would kill him anyway!

There was nothing, nothing they could do against her.

"The old man and the girl have fallen, yet you aren't moving. Have you given up?" Elsa didn't seem to be very interested in him.

"D-Damn it..." Now that he had no choice, Subaru stood up from his hiding position, facing her head on.

"Subaru!" Emilia didn't know what he had planned, but she didn't like this at all!

"Ah, you finally stood up. It's less fun since you took so long, but still, not bad."

"Shut it!" Emilia roared at her. How dare that monster play with him!

Along Emilia's roar, Subaru charged, running through Emilia to get to his target. But Elsa struck him in the face with her elbow, then kicked him in the ribs.

"Guarh!" he groaned in pain.

Emilia shrieked as his nose, teeth, and ribs were broken by Elsa's clean strike. She didn't relent and struck his shoulder with the blunt side of her blade, breaking it as well. Then she kicked at his jaw, breaking even more of his teeth.

"Ghagh...!"

"Subaru!" Emilia yelled when he tumbled and collapsed to the ground. "No! No!"

This cannot be happening again! Why is this happening! Just why?! Why must Subaru be the one to suffer this! Why is she toying with him!?

"But, it's no use." Elsa sighed, greatly disappointed in this boy's sheer weakness, bored out of her mind at the display. "I can see you're a novice, and your movements are rough. You have no divine protections or techniques. I had hoped to squeeze wisdom out of you, but you lack that, too."

"...Shut up!" Subaru managed to shout, impaired by his broken teeth. He slowly stood up again, defiant. "I do have my pride! After you've put me through all this..."

"Subaru... Please don't..." Emilia didn't know what to say.

"I do acknowledge that you have extraordinary determination. If only you could have done that sooner, things might have gone differently for these two."

"Shut! It!" Emilia screamed. She couldn't bear to hear more from this monster masquerading as human.

Subaru remembered something, now that he truly recognized who he was dealing with. His first death... His stomach was sliced open... She... She will attack the gut.

"I think it's time to end this. I'll send you to meet the angels." Elsa's sick words churned Emilia's stomach.

Subaru positioned himself, his eyes determined.

Elsa closed the distance in an instant.

He dodged the slash by jumping one step backwards, and gave her a roundhouse kick against her waist, throwing her a distance away.

"Ah..." Elsa moaned in delight. "I certainly felt that one."

"Y-You!" Emilia wanted to annihilate this thing before her, however...

Subaru... didn't actually dodge the slash. His abdomen was cut open.

Finally, silencing her wrath, Emilia saw the fatal wound too.

"N... N-No...!" Emilia whispered. "No... Not... No..." She held her hand against the bleeding wound, hoping, once again, to stop it.

How useless.

Subaru also couldn't believe it, but it was real. The familiar heat, the familiar pain, it was slowly overtaking him.

"Are you surprised?" Elsa spoke her words like a twisted angel. "I opened up your belly when we passed by one another. This is the one thing I excel at."

Ignoring her words, slowly, his body met the wall behind him, before he slowly slid down against it, before finally falling over and onto the ground.

"S-S-Subaru!" Following his every movement, Emilia held her hand against the wound the entire time, praying with all her might that she could heal or close it.

So useless.

His blood began to stain the floor in dark red. Clumsily, he tried to gather the blood and push it back into him again, but the shredded viscera that had been his intestine spilled more blood than he could imagine.

"No...! No...! No...! No...! No no no no no no no no!" Emilia hyperventilated, her many tears returning. This could not be happening. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why!?

Kneeling down to him, Elsa lifted the sliced part of his tracksuit, and inspected the contents of his belly.

"Don't touch him!" Emilia's tearful and angry howls went ignored, so did her attempt to slap her away.

"As I thought... Your guts have such a lovely color!" Elsa sung quietly, blushing.

Then...

'It hurts...'

She heard his pain.

'It hurts... It hurts... It hurts...'

"Subaru...! Subaru!"

'It hurts... It hurts... It... doesn't hurt?'

"Does it hurt? Are you suffering? In pain? Sad? Do you want to die?" Elsa cooed.

Emilia's entire world went dark. The only thing she could see and hear was Subaru. All other noise, all other things, they didn't exist for her anymore. Everything that she could comprehend were his throaty groans, his desperate breaths, his pained cries, and his ending thoughts.

"Subaru, Subaru! It- It's okay...!" Emilia sobbed while she shed her tears, hearing and feeling his pain alongside him. "Y-You're- You're going to be okay... Okay? You'll be okay...!" Emilia began to embrace Subaru's bleeding form. Emilia wanted comfort him, she wanted to soothe him.

Rationally, she knew he couldn't die. She knew, no matter what happened now, that his being would not end here. That is what her rationality concluded after she thought about it long enough. Because, how else did she meet him, how else did she experience all the things she did with him? It was a simple impossibility that he died before he could ever meet her.

However...

Emotionally, she couldn't handle his suffering. It was the thing she hated most in the entire world. She hated it more than Pandora, she hated it more than herself, she hated it more than any enemy she could ever come across: to see Subaru suffer, to see him cry, to see him in pain. Since his birth, since he was a baby, a child, a teenager, Emilia was never able to handle his suffering, his hardship, no matter how trivial or major. Whenever he cried as a baby, no matter how much she knew it was a natural thing, it made her want to cry too, and she wanted nothing more than to be able to soothe and comfort him. Whenever he sprained an ankle or accidentally hurt himself a little and bled, she couldn't bear it, and cursed herself for not being able to prevent or alleviate his pain. Whenever he felt sad, it made her sadder than anything, lamenting the fact that she could not embrace him. She was hypersensitive to everything regarding Subaru.

Seeing him cry broke her, seeing him sad broke her, seeing him hurt broke her...

Seeing Subaru unhappy was the worst thing imaginable to Emilia.

And now, she wasn't witnessing a young and little Subaru when he had a little sprain or cut, when he was afraid of the thunder, or when he misplaced his favorite plushie...

She was witnessing his death.

His face was beaten and blood-ridden, his nose was broken, his teeth were shattered, his shoulder was cracked.

His stomach was cut wide open, releasing obscene amounts of blood and parts of his intestine out into the open.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to shriek. She wanted to cry, howl, wail, and curse everything.

It was just too much.

To see the one and only person you love with all your heart suffer a slow and painful death, alone, despairing, unloved, was torturing Emilia more than anything ever could.

She was a pathetic and useless existence. The only thing she could do was to try and invisibly comfort him through his pain and suffering as he lost his color and warmth, his very life. If nothing else, this shall be it, always.

'Die? Am I dead? Am I still alive? When will I die? When will I die?'

His body, it was growing ghostly pale.

"No... No...!" Emilia refuted his thoughts as much as she could. "You- You will not die... You will not...! S-Subaru... P-Please... No... Subaru...!"

His agonizing thoughts were breaking her apart.

"Slowly, slowly..." Elsa gleefully taunted the last breaths of her prey.

'I'm scared... I'm scared... I'm scared! I'm scared! I'm scared!

His body, it was growing chillingly cold.

"Shh! Shh...!" Emilia tried to soothe his fears away, but she was nothing. "You're o-okay...! I'm here...! Y-Yes, you're okay! All is- is okay!"

Nothing was okay. This was a nightmare. A neverending nightmare.

"Slowly, slowly..."

'I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!'

His body, it was stopping to move.

"No! No! You will not d-die! You will l-live! You will live a b-beautiful and happy life! I'll m-make sure of it! You will be h-happy! S-So happy!"

No matter what. No matter what. Subaru will be happy. Subaru will be happy.

"Yes, you're slowly losing body heat... You're slowly growing cold..."

'Oh... I'm dead.'

Even he, understood.

"Subaru...! Subaru! Subaru!"

Natsuki Subaru, died. Accomplishing nothing of worth, inadvertently killing everyone around him, the only accomplishment he made was to serve as the entertainment of an insane killer, and slowly bled out.

Darkness overtook her.

---

Shadows.

Emilia saw nothing but darkness. She couldn't see anything. She couldn't hear anything.

"I love you."

Her voice spoke these familiar words, and then...

Her mind...

It burned, once again.

"Aah...!"

Again, memories viciously flooded her mind.

Memories. Memories. Memories.

"Aah...!"

She remembered.

She was held off. She was delayed on her way to the loot house. Why was she delayed? Why did the slum dwellers get in her way? Why did she take so long? She never reached the loot house. She never did. She was on her way, and then everything cuts off.

But she did reach the loot house, and there was no one who stood in her way. Why did this happen now? Why did this happen?! Why is this different! There should have been nothing different! So why!

Why why why why why!

Why?!

Her confusion, her anguish, her rage, it all had no target of latch on to.

"I love you."

Again with her voice! Why was her voice here! Is this the Trial speaking to her?! But why!?

Why is any of this happening at all! Subaru's death's, her lost memories, everything!

None of this should ever be happening! This was unnatural! This went against everything she ever knew!

"Why is this happening?!" Emilia cried into the darkness. "Why must we suffer like this?!"

Why was Subaru experiencing this! This was not how any of this was supposed to be! Subaru was supposed to meet her in the loot house, save her life, and then come with her to the Mathers Mansion!

"So why is this happening! Tell me! Why!"

Refusing any of her volatile questions, the shadows around her collapsed before finally-

---

Blinding light.

Unbearable ringing.

It was too familiar to her.

"What's the matter, boy? You look like you've seen a ghost."

A sequence of words that was too identical.

"Boy? You okay?"

Her senses finally returned to her again.

Here they were, again.

The shopping district of the city. The appa merchant stood before her.

Then that must mean...

Emilia looked next to her.

There he was... the boy who she loved with all her heart and soul: Subaru. He was alive. He was unhurt. He had no open stomach. His shoulder seemed fine. And his nose and teeth were unbroken.

Subaru looked healthy, as if nothing atrocious had happened to him just mere moment ago.

Relief filled her being. But, she couldn't bring herself to wail like she did last time.

It would be too unfair to him, for the one who actually experienced it.

Instead, without hesitation, she hugged him.

...

There was just a brief moment of silence.

"I..." Emilia quietly hiccupped.

"I love you..."

She didn't know what to say. Professing her love to him felt natural to her. It felt comforting to her, and she hoped it would feel comforting for him too.

"I'm so glad you're alive..."

Even though she said these words, her heart was cracking.

But Subaru, he was in a different condition altogether.

"...I have no idea what's going on anymore..."

With his parting words, he collapsed on the spot, shocking both the merchant and Emilia.

"Subaru?!" Breaking her trauma-induced calm, she immediately went into a panic again.

"Don't die!"

---

Splash.

With a good dose of water, the appa merchant awoke Subaru from his slumber next to his shop.

Emilia sighed in relief to see him blink his eyes open, disoriented but awake. He was okay. Subaru was okay...

"Are you all right, boy?" The appa merchant procured another cup of water and an appa. "Here, forget about the money. Just take these."

"Thank you." Emilia thanked the merchant on Subaru's behalf as he went back to his shop, leaving the boy alone to get his bearings.

She sat down next him and, after a moment of hesitation, wrapped her arms around him in a protective way.

It was silent between the two.

This was... calming, in a way.

Because, this was the first real moment of respite they had together since everything that had happened the last few, but terrible hours began.

Emilia didn't want to ruin the quiet, but still, she had to ask him, even if it was an insensitive question.

"Subaru..." She gently called his name. "Are... Are you okay? D-Does it still hurt?"

Of course, Subaru did not answer her, but with his demeanor alone, Emilia could see the answer for herself without having to use her abilities.

Subaru was not okay.

Of course he was not okay. What was she thinking. He had been violently killed by a sadistic assassin, two times. His stomach was cut open so he would slowly bleed out and die a lowlife's death.

Anyone who would come out of this okay would be a madman.

Following Emilia's heartless but well-meaning questions, he began to hug his knees, and his entire body shook a little. He rocked himself, trying to calm himself, but it was fruitless.

His miserable form was all too familiar to Emilia. Quickly, she cuddled him into her chest, hiding his face from this cruel world. She hoped the close contact with her soft skin and her heartbeat would instinctively calm him down, as always.

"Subaru... Subaru... Shh..." Emilia cooed while she tenderly stroked his hair, her eyes glistening again. "I'm here... I'm right here with you... Shh..."

He couldn't come to terms with his situation. Natsuki Subaru lived an ordinary life. There was no way for him to suddenly bear such unreasonable amounts of fear and despair in him. It was just way too much. It was way too scary. It was way too painful. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He didn't want to remember the pain, the misery, dying a painful and slow death in that dark shed.

The more he thought about all the terrible things he experienced, the more he wanted to scream.

"S-Subaru..."

She understood what he felt, she understood how he felt. But there was nothing that she could do to alleviate it. All she could do was to provide him with her useless embrace and pointless coos.

She didn't want him to feel like this. She didn't want any of this for him. She just wanted him to be happy, and feel at ease. This was hell for her. Nothing could have ever prepared her for this senseless nightmare they found themselves in.

She would give everything to be able to truly be there for him, to tell him that she is right there with him.

But... she couldn't. For over 17 years she wanted to do exactly this. But that lofty dream of hers had never been fulfilled.

...

Just before he could lash out at the world, and scream everything out into Emilia's chest, he saw something from the corner of his vision. A streak of silver hair.

Subaru saw in the street... a female half-elf with long silver hair and amethyst-eyes, wearing finely made white and purple clothes.

Emilia saw it too.

Yes...

She understood it.

This was her. It was... not a fraud, a copy, or anything.

That was her over there.

"Hey... Wait..." Subaru called out to her. "Wait! P-Please, wait!" Abruptly, he stood up from his position, and ran after her.

Emilia's cracked heart sank.

She forgot this too.

"Wait! Satella!"

Emilia's blood froze solid.

What despicable things did she do...?

The consequences of her own actions.

The mistakes of her past had finally caught up to her.

Subaru somehow figured out that she used a fake name back then. That was a moment that was certain to happen. Emilia thought she mentally prepared herself for that moment, and even hoped that it might not be such a big deal.

But she was so wrong, so completely wrong.

This was the worst way it could have happened.

The absolute worst.

"I... I'm..." Emilia began to openly cry into her hands. "I'm so sorry, Subaru...!"

This was her fault. Her fault. Her fault.

Because of her. He will be rejected. He will be shunned. All because of her.

Not only was Subaru experiencing physical trauma from being killed, now he was going to get mentally hurt by getting rejected by the only person he trusted.

How... does he even love her? Let alone forgive her...?

"Please don't ignore me!" Subaru shouted after her, distraught. "My dying and not doing what you said were my fault! But I was desperate! I went back to the loot house after that, but I couldn't find you..."

The moment Past-Emilia heard the name she was called by, she stopped moving. Neither he nor Emilia could see her expression.

"I'm sorry for only thinking of myself. But I'm glad you're all right, Satella."

Finally, she turned around, and faced him.

Emilia... Emilia was devastated.

Past-Emilia, she looked at Subaru with hostility.

That was an unthinkable notion. Emilia, she, in any capacity, looking at Subaru with hostility...?

It was unthinkable. It was inconceivable. It was impossible.

She... she did not want to remember this. She did not want to remember this!

No!

"What are you thinking...?" Past-Emilia said in a chilling tone to Subaru. Her eyes were showering him with open displeasure.

"Huh?" Subaru questioned her weird behavior.

"I don't know who you are, but don't call me by the name of the Witch of Envy! What are you thinking?!" Past-Emilia openly denounced him.

Her cold eyes, Emilia hated to see them directed at him. He was the only person she would never direct such eyes to.

But now she did. It was nightmarish.

She did not want to inherit these memories, these feelings she must be feeling right now.

No matter what.

"I'll ask one more time. Why did you call me by the name of the Witch of Envy?"

"...B-Because you told me to."

"I did... I did...!" Emilia tearfully admitted. "I'm- I'm so sorry...! Subaru, I'm so sorry!"

"I don't know who told you that, but they have terrible taste! The Witch of Envy is the very symbol of taboo, and you call me by her name, which most dare not even say!"

She despised those eyes.

She hated them. She hated them!

She didn't want to remember! She didn't want to!

Never. Never. Never! Never! Never!

Subaru could only look at her with shock, betrayal, and confusion.

Emilia's heart cracked.

He didn't understand what was going on. Why is Satella acting like that? Doesn't she remember? Why? What is happening?

"That's right!" A passer-by openly agreed with Past-Emilia's words.

"That's going too far, boy!" Another one agreed.

Now that Subaru looked around him, he had gathered quite the attention from the people around the street, many of them whispering horrible things about him.

Emilia felt shame beyond belief.

"If you have nothing to say, I'm leaving. I have things to do." Past-Emilia turned her back on him and went on her way.

Subaru didn't know what to say.

Emilia didn't know how to atone.

But Felt did know what to do.

He saw her jump past him.

"Felt!" Both Subaru and Emilia immediately shouted out. They hoped she wouldn't do it, whatever it was, that their call might have distracted her enough, but it was too late.

Felt stole the insignia, and ran past them.

Stunned, Past-Emilia inspected her pockets, but her insignia was not to be found anywhere.

Angry, she looked back at Subaru.

"Were you stalling me? Are you working with her?!"

Emilia flinched from the hard tone she was using on Subaru. She regretted it. She regretted it so much. She did not want to remember shouting at Subaru like that. She did not want to remember ever being angry at Subaru. She did not want to remember her doing anything detrimental to him.

"N-No!" Hastily, Subaru tried to deny it, but Past-Emilia already left him to go after Felt.

"Hey! Wait... Wait a minute! You've got it all wrong! I'm..."

But she was already gone.

"Subaru... Don't... Don't go after her. She's not worth it..." Emilia said bitterly, holding onto him with one hand, and wiping some of her remaining tears with the other.

She was terrible, in every sense of the word.

Disregarding her words, Subaru ran after her.

---

He ran after her, but he couldn't catch up to her, they were just too fast. After enough running after her form, he found himself in an alleyway where they ran off into. But when he arrived, he had entirely lost sight of them.

"...Would someone please be a little nicer to me?" Subaru rightfully asked while panting, exhausted from the constant running, yet again.

Just... why is all this happening to him?

"Why was I even... summoned to this world?"

Emilia, who had been next to him all this time, could not give him that answer, as much as she wished to be able to. She had absolutely no idea why he was here, and why any of this was happening in the first place.

"What are you babbling about?" Then, they heard a voice, a small and high-pitched one.

When they looked back. They saw a familiar trio of thugs before them.

"You... have to kidding me." Emilia said breathlessly. "Are you everywhere?"

"If you don't wanna get hurt, cough up whatever you've got!"

They were even using the same damn lines. Emilia was getting so damn sick of it.

"Would you stop it already?!" Subaru lashed out at them, equally angry at the unreasonableness of it all. "No one is that damn persistent!"

"You think you can mouth off to us?" the lanky one raised his eyebrows in irritation.

"You're in my way!" Subaru approached them hastily. "I have somewhere I need to go!" He tried to walk past them...

"Wait! Subaru! Be careful-!"

Squelch.

"...Wha?"

Subaru was stabbed in the back. The lanky one stabbed his back with his knife.

Subaru fell down.

Emilia couldn't comprehend it. Her mouth was agape from the absurdity of this.

Are they kidding her? Did they seriously dare to stab Subaru...?

"Oh, man, now you've done it." the round one was also unprepared to see this kind of display. "You stabbed him?!"

Emilia quickly knelt down to Subaru to inspect the wound.

"Oh no... Oh no..."

The knife wound was terribly deep, and maybe even pierced his spine. The lanky thug put way too much force into his stab. If Subaru didn't get any healing this moment, he might actually die from this. But, so long as the knife was not pulled out, his chances are still survivable.

What the hell. This cannot be real. This is way too quick. Way too soon. Under no circumstance should Subaru die from something like this right here after he came back! Not when everything was just starting!

'You've gotta be kidding me...!'

Even Subaru was calling out the ridiculousness of this event. What the hell!?

'...I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed! I've been stabbed!'

Subaru had been stabbed and pierced two times before, but he never grew used to the pain. It still hurt as much as it did the first time. It's painful! It hurt! It burned!

"N-No!" the lanky one defended himself. "He walked right into my blade! What was I supposed to do!"

Liar. Liar. Liar.

Emilia would ingrain that piece of shit into her mind.

'It hurts... It hurts...'

"S-Subaru..." She was so paralyzed by these impossible events, she didn't know what to do anymore. The only reflex she maintained was to try and hold the wound close.

Then, the small one pulled the blade out of his back, blood immediately gashing out of the hole.

"No!" Emilia yelled in sudden panic. The wound was open now! This was dangerous! No no no!

"What are you doing?!" The round one was stunned by his comrade's action.

"Well, no sense in wasting him!" The small one justified his heartless action. "Take anything on him that's worth selling!"

To hell with them all! They will pay...!

Everyone will pay. Elsa, those wastes of space, everyone who dares to stand in Subaru's path will be personally annihilated by her.

As Emilia blood-boilingly promised that, Subaru's vision went dark. This was his end, just like last time, and the one before.

'What do you mean, 'last time'?'

Subaru's thoughts were aiming to distract him from his own death.

'Well, might as well.'

"What...?" Emilia whispered, unbelieving of what she was hearing.

'Turn your thoughts away from dying. Before you die, figure out what's happening around you. Make your death useful.'

"Subaru!" Emilia shouted. "No! Don't think like that! Stop thinking like that and be quiet!"

She detested how he thought about himself!

While she was busy trying her best in holding the wound close, her uselessness never waning, Subaru saw the bag of chips dropped before him, still in his plastic bag.

That particular detail baffled him greatly. Didn't he...

'But Old Man Rom ate those... How?'

He was... realizing something crucial.

'C-Could... this be... T-Then... Make it useful.'

"Subaru!"

'...Your eyes are dead. Your arms and legs are gone, too. What you have left is your nose and your ears. Then you'd better use them both to death. It doesn't matter what lingering scent I smell. It doesn't matter if all I hear are insults. I smell the mud of the road. I smell the iron-like smell from the blood pouring from me. Now my nose is dead. It's dead. I doubt my ears will last much longer, either.'

"Stop it! Subaru, stop it!"

She didn't want to heart it! She didn't want to hear him describe his death like that! She didn't want him to become a machine! He should try to live, he should live, not think like a zombie!

He shouldn't try to create use out of his death!

"Woah, wait! The guards will be here any second!" the round one said. They didn't have time to loot!

'All I'm able to pick up are those bits of conversation. That's great and all, but the part of my brain I need to figure out what that means is already dead. I don't know if I'll remember...'

"Subaru... Please...!"

"Run! We're in trouble!" the lanky shouted to his comrades, running away.

Emilia didn't see what they were running away from, and she didn't care.

'...Wait, what does it mean to remember anyway? Why do I want to remember? What does it mean to want?'

She was hearing how his brain began to die.

She didn't blink. She didn't breathe. She didn't do anything but listen.

'Why... wha...?'

...

And the last slivers of life in his eyes vanished, as his brain ceased to function.

He was dead.

Natsuki Subaru died in the middle of an alleyway, dying a dog's death, a pathetic and unceremonious death. An embarrassing end everyone would mock upon hearing.

Subaru was dead.

How humorous.

---

Shadows.

She saw shadows. Shadows was all that she could see. Everywhere were shadows and nothing more. Nothing more than that. It was all the same. All the damn same everywhere she looked. Everything. All was the same. Darkness. Shadows.

"I love you."

Her voice spoke. She heard her voice of unknown origins. She didn't understand, yet it happened anyway.

"Aghh...!"

Then the memories came. The terrible, horrible memories. She did not want to remember them. She wanted to alienate herself from those memories. She didn't want to absorb them. She didn't want to become them. She didn't want to become the person she despised most. She didn't want to become them.

But no matter how much she wished for anything, nothing would ever come out of it.

'I don't know who you are, but don't call me by the name of the Witch of Envy! What are you thinking?!'

She remembered the indignation she felt towards the boy because he called her by the name of the Witch of Envy.

'I don't know who told you that, but they have terrible taste! The Witch of Envy is the very symbol of taboo, and you call me by her name, which most dare not even say!'

She remembered how insulted she felt, how angry she was at that boy who thoughtlessly insulted her.

'Were you stalling me? Are you working with her?!'

She remembered how she believed they were in cahoots just to steal the insignia from her.

She remembered. She remembered. She remembered.

And she hated absolutely every second of it.

She hated it! She loathed it! She detested it!

She didn't want to remember this!

Why did she remember! Why! Why!

It was not another half-elf was who rejected him, another person, another individual that was not her.

It was her.

She rejected him.

Emilia, who loved Subaru more than existence itself, rejected him.

"Aaaaaaagrhg!"

Let this end! End this! End this already!

"Let me go! Let me go!"

She couldn't bear it anymore. Her heart, it was...! It was...! She couldn't endure it! Let her go! Let her go! Free her from this hell her hubris created! Be done with it!

"Let me see Subaru!"

It was her most pure thought, unadulterated, she wanted to see the person she wronged.

Obeying her, the darkness surrounding her vanished-

---

Blinding light.

Deafening ringing.

It was all there again.

She abhorred the familiarity of this sensation. She never wanted to feel it again.

"Well, boy? You want this appa?"

Everything was the same. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

Emilia quickly looked to her side, and there he was: Subaru.

He was alive. He did not have any wounds on him.

But to say that he looked okay would be a massive lie.

Wordlessly, Emilia went ahead and hugged him, selfishly clinging herself onto him.

...

"I didn't mean it."

It was a quiet whisper.

"I didn't mean it. I swear..."

"I didn't want... to hurt you..."

"I'd never... hurt you..."

She hiccupped.

"I'm so sorry, Subaru. I really, really am."

'Tell me your name.'

To think that he forgave her for this sin she had committed. This time too, she indirectly caused his death by bringing him into danger.

...To speak so casually about his deaths... Just how cursed was his situation. How was it possible for someone, for him, to die so quickly in succession. The first two times could be understandable, since he confronted an infamous assassin. But this time, he died in the streets through some thugs.

That was just sad. That was just unreasonable. That was... Emilia couldn't put it into words...

It was just unfair, as if the world was after his blood. Like it was specifically after him.

"Subaru... when this is over." Emilia slowly began, her tone serene, but convinced. "When I'm out of this Trial. I will protect you, I will protect you with everything that I have, and make you happy. I will give you everything you want. I promise you..."

She began to sob again.

"I promise you...! I promise you, you hear! Because I love you!"

Emilia promised. She promised. No matter what might happen in the future, in this Trial. The moment she was out of here, it would end. This nightmare would end! And they will get their happy end!

Meanwhile, the boy who was subjected to such generous love stared at the appa merchant for a moment, before opening his mouth.

"...Hey, mister..."

"Huh?" the appa merchant made.

"How many times have you seen me now?"

"What do you mean? I've never seen you before now. Well? You want the appa or not?"

Emilia listened to their words, but their meanings somehow didn't register in her mind. It went through one ear, and left the other.

She could only comprehend the object in front of her.

Subaru was here. He was alive. But he was not okay. How could she deal with this. What could she do. Well she must make him happy, that was the goal. But how? Well that was something difficult, wasn't it, because she was a ghost and whatnot. Yes, that was difficult. But maybe there was a way? No, there wasn't a way. She tried it for 17 years and there was nothing. Yes, the only she could do was to comfort him after the Trial. After the Trial was over. Yes, after the Trial was over, she was going to help him. She was going to comfort him and protect him. Comfort him. Protect him. Comfort. Protect. Comfort. Protect. Comfort. Protect. Comfort-

"Heh..." Subaru scoffed with a lighthearted tone, snapping Emilia out of it. "Sorry! But I'm broke beyond compare!" Subaru suddenly shouted out, proud, enthused, indomitable.

Emilia looked at him, wide-eyed.

It wasn't because she saw how determined his eyes were, or how his gallant smile could break anything in its path by its shine alone.

It was the opposite.

She saw eyes that were broken and empty, squeezed dry of its former life. She saw dried lips that forced their every rigid muscle to stay upwards.

What she saw before her was...

Horrifying.

On Subaru's face rose a horrifically dry smile.

It would fool anyone else. For anyone else, it looked like the smile of a youth ready for an adventure, prepared to face his uncertain future head on. The way he spoke was very natural and upbeat, the change of his tone and cadence was indistinguishable from his natural being.

But it would never fool Emilia.

Never.

Her heart cracked.

"...Subaru..." Aghast of what she was seeing, calling his name was the only thing she was capable of.

---

"Wallet, cell phone, corn potage snack, cup noodles... My tracksuit and sneakers are intact, too. And naturally..." He checked his back. No wound to be found.

"Thank god. A wound to the back is a warrior's greatest shame. Well, with this much circumstantial evidence, there's no denying it."

Emilia couldn't fathom Subaru. She herself had been close to collapse just moments ago, but seeing Subaru's state reminded her that she had to remain strong.

She would never allow herself to become weaker than Subaru. To always care for him and protect him, that is what she vowed to herself since he was a baby. She was the grown-up between the two, she was the more experienced one, she was the one who was supposed to take care of him, she was the one who wanted to make sure he was looked after, she was the so-called Onee-chan, the older, more mature, doting partner in this relationship.

And seeing him in such a state, a state where he tried to blow off his suffering with obstinate humor, scared her beyond belief.

Just... how much did he suffer alone...

Why... did he never tell her...?

His pride, while incessant, was not strong enough to hide something as hideous as that forever... So why did he never tell her... Just why...

"Why, Subaru..." Her voice, filled with sorrow, asked him that question.

But he didn't listen.

"It's kinda hard to believe, but this has to be..."

But now, Subaru was going to say something she tried to deny herself. A fact that she purposefully tried to purge from her mind every time it came to her. Because if she didn't...

"...A time leap."

A time leap... It was exactly as he said... but that is not all. If that were all, it would have been relatively acceptable... Tragic, traumatic, lonely, but tolerable... However, there was one, major, irreparable aspect of it that she could not accept.

"So, it's one of those things, huh..." he said, humming to himself rather nonchalantly.

"Subaru...!"

His... The way he talks about it... haha... no no... no... Please don't let this be it...

Don't let her deepest fears be true.

"And each time, I return to my initial state..."

Ah... He was going to say it. He was going to say it. No. No. If he is going to say it, she might not be able to handle it. She doesn't know what might happen.

"No, no! Subaru please! Don't say it!"

She didn't want to hear it from him.

"P-Please, please don't say it...! I can't bear it, please..."

She didn't want to hear the truth.

If he said it out loud now, then...

Emilia's cracked heart wouldn't be able to endure it.

Memories echoed through her mind.

'Do you know how much it hurts to have your stomach ripped open?! I know!'

'That's right. I mean, that makes perfect sense. I, myself, have all my limbs! I don't have a knife stuck in my back or a huge hole in my stomach!'

Many, many disturbing comments.

'But it's true, you saved me!'

A frantic boy trying to prove his existence, to a girl ignorant of everything.

'When I first came to this world, you were the-'

Yet his words were stopped, the cause unknown.

'The version of me that lives within you must be amazing. She can understand everything, even if you don't explain it to her. She can feel all your pain, sadness, and anger as her own.'

Those were the words they exchanged. And then...

'I've... All this time, I've made everything work out all right, haven't I?! When your insignia was stolen, I saved you from an insane killer at the loot house! I risked my life! All because you were important to me! At the mansion, too! Things worked out because of me! Without me, it would've been a lot worse! All of it, all of it, all of it! All of it was because I was there!'

A truth that was unknown to everything but him had been lashed out.

'You should have a greater debt to me than you could ever repay!'

It had been there. It was always there...

'It was rough. It was so painful. I was so scared. I was so sad. It hurt so much, I thought I'd die. I tried so hard... I tried so hard! I was so desperate... So desperate to make everything right! It's the truth. I've honestly never tried so hard at anything in my life! Because I loved this place... Because it was so important to me... I was so desperate to get it back. I was scared... I was so scared!'

A memory of an anguished boy bawling his eyes out in her lap.

'I didn't want those eyes looking at me like that again... And I hated myself so much for feeling that way!'

This was the reason...

How many times...!

'They're all telling me 'do something'! Even though I'm trying to deal with it my own way, they all complain, saying not this way, not that way-!'

A memory of a boy on the verge of losing himself, before being embraced into her chest.

'If just loving you isn't a reason to believe in you... Then who the hell would willingly go through all this suffering to come and help a pain in the ass like you?!'

A memory of a boy believing in her.

'I love you so much it makes me crazy! I love you so much I could die!'

'That's why I put up with the pain and suffering!'

How many times!?

"I call it..."

No.

Don't say it.

Subaru. Please. Don't say it.

Please. Please. Don't.

No.

No!

No! No! No! No! No! No!

She didn't want to believe it! She didn't want to! Her heart couldn't bear it! No! Never! This cannot be the truth!

That all this time, all this time, he held this secret with him. All this time while she spoke with him and laughed with him, he was in fact... all this time...!

"No-!"

"...Return by Death."

...

The words... have been spoken. The name of the ability Subaru inherited, the ability that would allow him to become the hero he wished to be, had been recognized. The cost, the trauma, everything this unholy power entailed, had been acknowledged.

This was reality.

Natsuki Subaru, had, all this time, since before she remembered him, Returned by Death, unknowable amounts of time, to save the people around him time and time again.

Natsuki Subaru... died, to save everyone around him again and again.

Alone.

...

Emilia... understood.

She... She...

Her vision lost its color. The market vanished from her world. Everything went dark. He was the only thing visible, before even he lost color.

Her hearing lost its focus. Her surroundings went mute. Her heartbeat faded.

Thinking stopped entirely.

And her heart.

Crack.

It shattered.

---

[And Heart Breaks]