Chapter 46

He brought his uniform in the car to her place, and they both got dressed there. Alex pinned her hair up, and as she started to put in her earrings, he kissed her behind the ear.

He left her in the bedroom and went out to the kitchen, tucking, straightening, and putting on his tie. He tucked his arms into his jacket just as Alex walked into the room. She stopped in her tracks, admiring how handsome he looked in his dress blues.

In silence, she moved forward and brushed some lint from his lapel. They shared a tender kiss, then gathered their hats and things and left the house.

Bobby was very quiet on the drive. He kept thinking about what Moran had said, about the grief of Kevin Quinn's wife. They were all grieving the loss, but no one more than she. Bobby and Alex stood at attention at the funeral, and it was clear that the word had gotten around about what had happened between Goren and Copa. It was common knowledge that Sang had been cut loose. Bobby endured a lot of glares and a lot of cold shoulders.

Alex drove them back to Theresa's house. As she came around the car, Bobby got out and said, "Look, I'm not gonna go inside, all right? I don't have a lot of friends in there, all right?"

Alex stared at him. He was talking fast, the way he did when he was nervous. It was a sure sign that his emotions were getting the better of him.

"Be, uh… well…" He'd almost told her to be careful. He didn't want their hatred of him to fall on her. At last he nodded and just said, "Go."

Alex hadn't felt so terrible since Joe's funeral. All of the pain was back now, and she knew exactly how Theresa felt. She nodded at Bobby and walked toward the house, her head hanging low for just a moment.

Bobby was leaning back against the car. He turned his head and saw Detective Copa come between the cars to walk up to the yard. Bobby stood up straight, but looked down at his feet.

Copa swaggered over. "You have the nerve to show up here?"

"Your partner and m-my partner were close," Bobby told him. "All I wanna do is find the killer."

Copa stepped even closer. "I'm on desk, pending a medical. Maybe looking at forced retirement. Well done, Detective," Copa told him before walking away.

Inside, Alex was having a hard time. She found a picture on a shelf from days gone by. It was St. Patrick's Day, and she and Joe were laughing with Theresa and Kevin. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at Joe's sweet smile.

She felt a hand on her arm and her head snapped back to see who it was. Theresa was comforting her. Alex stared at the photograph again as Theresa hooked her hands around her arm and held them there.

"St. Paddy's Day Parade, '95," Alex said. "Right after we got married."

"Remember they were singing, uhm…"

"Wild Rover," Alex told her, and Theresa laughed.

Alex smiled at the memory. "It's the only song Joe knew," she told her friend.

"Yeah," Theresa said. "Kevin was playing the pipes. He loved the parade…" She started to cry, "…because he was usually playing at funerals."

"Oh, Theresa!" Alex breathed. She held the woman in her arms. "You'll get through this. I did."

Pulling away from the embrace, Theresa whispered, "Is it true your partner made them release that bastard?"

Alex sighed, but said nothing.

Outside, as he paced by the car, Bobby watched a young boy, Quinn's son, on a kind of jointed skateboard. The boy went up the sidewalk and back, and seemed to be able to propel himself with a wiggle of his foot rather than putting his foot back on the concrete. As Goren turned his back to pace the other way, the boy drew closer. "Yo, heads up!" He cried, crashing into Goren.

"Oh, okay…" he chuckled and picked up the skateboard. "Wow, this looks tricky, huh?"

"Kinda," said the boy as he put his skateboard back on the ground. "You move your feet like this to go forward."

"Right."

"And you shift your weight to turn."

"Nice. No sound."

"Uh-uh." As the boy climbed aboard again and slid towards him, he spoke. "So. You hear about that detective that let my Dad's killer get away?"

"Oh, we'll get his killer."

"The Chief of D's, he told my mom that that detective was a whack job."

Bobby was both angry and hurt by the remark, and he couldn't hide it from his face. He looked down and sniffed. There was no reason for the boy to be hearing such things, and he wouldn't burden him with adult concerns.

"See you," the kid said.

Evening was falling as Bobby drove them away from the house. "So, how did it go in there?" he asked her.

"Not good," Alex replied, but her voice was strong and her eyes were clear.

Bobby chewed on his lips a moment. "I wasn't very popular, either," he said.

Alex looked at him, registered the pain subtly masked in his expression, and shook her head. "I knew most of those guys in there," she said. "They were at the hospital… at Joe's wake…" She shook her head sadly. "Then one by one, I stopped hearing from them." She scoffed. "I haven't seen anyone in that room in eight years."

Bobby stopped at a light, glanced at her, and then spoke. "Well, after a loss, you know, people, they… you know… well, they screw up." He glanced over at her with a shrug, hoping she understood what he'd said was a confession. I'm sorry I've been such an ass since my mom died.

Alex didn't seem to have noticed. "After Joe died, it got complicated. Without him… there wasn't a place for me anymore." She looked back out the car window again and shook her head. Alex almost laughed as she spoke. "And you know, today, I think they all realized it. But not one of them had the guts to talk to me. Nobody but Theresa, that is."

"Sh-she understands now."

Alex nodded soberly, sighed, and rested her forehead against the palm of her hand for the rest of the drive home.