You've Got Mail
Epilogue
~oOo~
The blinking cursor on the bright white background is taunting him. It had been his brilliant fucking idea that they write their own vows and now the damn wedding is tomorrow and he has nothing.
Not. A. Single. Fucking. Word.
Why don't we write our own vows? We could write them as emails to each other, since that's kind of our thing.
The suggestion came over dinner a few months back. He'd been so proud of himself for thinking of the idea and Donna had teared up when he mentioned it. He can still see the bright shine of her eyes when she nodded and squeezed his hand. She'd been speechless.
"Way to go, Specter!" Harvey grumbles outloud to the empty room. Well, not empty, exactly. Not if you count the 75 pound slobbering canine currently draped over his lap on the sofa. "That's what you get for trying to be romantic," he huffs to his furry friend as he whirls the mouse around on the blank document. Remy simply looks up at him with admiring eyes, his tongue lolling off to the side. "Don't give me that," Harvey shakes his head and looks away. "All you have to do is pant, wag your tail, tilt your head to one side and lick her face." Harvey scratches behind Rembrandt's ears. "That may have worked for me in the past, Pal, but this time is different."
Harvey types, My Dearest Donna, and then immediately raps incessantly on the backspace key. This shouldn't be so fucking hard. Writing to her has been his safe space for what feels like years now. Expressing his feelings in person has never come easy to him, but something about the safety of words on a screen had been the key to bringing Donna and him together in the first place.
"Come on, NYC," he wiggles his fingers in the air just over the keyboard. Letting out a slow breath and pinching his eyes shut, he continues to prod his alter ego, "You can do this. You know exactly how you feel about her. So fucking tell her, you little pussy."
His alter ego responds best to tough love. Similar to his regular ego…
Dear Theatergirl,
~oOo~
Harvey is straightening his bow tie for the hundredth time when he sees Mike's reflection in the mirror. He's never been so happy to see the kid in his entire life. Not because he needs his best man to provide a sappy pep talk, or a supportive pat on the back, it's the bottle of Macallan clutched in his right hand.
"Thank Christ!" Harvey grabs a tumbler from the counter. The small room in the rear of the chapel has been closing in on him for the past thirty minutes.
"Robin knows what Batman needs. A good sidekick always—"
"Shut up and pour, Mike."
Mike clears his throat and takes the outstretched glass with a curt nod.
Harvey empties the contents down his throat and hands it back to Mike before he's even had a chance to pour his own.
"So. I see I was concerned for nothing," Mike teases as he refills the glass. "You seem to be taking this in stride."
Harvey glares at Mike over the tilted glass and while no actual words leave his lips, the message is clear.
Mike just grins like a loon as he fills his tumbler and then plops into the chair in front of the vanity.
"You're all set then? I've got the rings. You've got your vows?" Mike sips on his scotch as Harvey goes back to fussing with his tie. "Maybe you want to run through them with me first?"
Harvey doesn't have to see the look on Mike's smug face to know he's enjoying this. He'd been bugging him to see the vows since he'd finally admitted to finishing them late last night. And while a small part of him felt a practice read could actually help, there was no way in hell he'd be reciting them to Mike.
"Listen, Robin, a good sidekick knows when to shut the fuck the up. And he also knows that Batman won't think twice about side-kicking his ass right through the window."
"See," Mike winks. "If you're pissed off at me… you won't think about the fact that you're getting fucking married in twenty minutes."
Harvey lunges for Mike but the kid is quick and surprisingly agile, and he scurries out the door with a shriek before Harvey can get his hands on him.
~oOo~
"Dear NYC," Donna says with a slight blush that Harvey finds adorable. He's more than grateful that her vows come first.
"I wasn't looking for love… I was actually in a really bad mood, searching online to vent with some like minded people about a derogatory Dee Dee Bridgwater album review I'd been offended by. And there you were. NYC_901."
Harvey smiles and her blush deepens. The way it makes his chest swell has him tightening his jaw in order to keep his shit together.
"You agreed with me that the writer was talking out of their ass, we chewed the fat about who the true jazz greats were, and several hours later I think I was already smitten."
A chuckle of laughter ripples across the room. Harvey grins and she takes another deep breath before continuing.
"I wasn't looking for love. It was not on my radar. But with every email that passed between us, my feelings for you grew deeper and love definitely blossomed."
Donna swallows and Harvey knows that she's struggling as much as he, so he gives her hands a gentle squeeze.
"I wasn't looking for love, but then I met my nemesis. You pushed my buttons, you fired me up and you made my blood boil. And it may have felt traumatic at the time, but my God, Harvey, you also lit a fire in me. Through all the heartache and turmoil, I also don't think I'd ever felt so alive. And it wasn't long before I couldn't deny the feelings I had for my so-called enemy anymore. I was falling for you. Fast."
Donna blows out through her lips in a clear bid to stay composed.
"I wasn't looking for love, but boy did it find me, and I was wholly unprepared. Suddenly I was in love with two perfect men. Different and yet so similar in so many ways. Weird, huh?"
This time the chuckles are louder, especially when Harvey gives an almost apologetic shrug, before lifting her hands to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss there.
"I can't lie, Harvey. Finding out that those two men whom I'd fallen in love with were actually both you, came as a bit of a shock. But if I never believed in fate before, I certainly do now. There is not one shred of doubt that you are my one true love. My partner, my lover, my best friend… my everything. And every tear shed, every moment of pain suffered, everything that I may have lost is nothing to the complete joy that you bring me now. And I wouldn't change a single thing.
"I wasn't looking for love. But I found you. And that makes me the goddamn luckiest woman in the world. I love you, Harvey, with all of my heart, and every fiber of my being, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, as your wife. Yours forever… Theatergirl"
A single tear rolls down Donna's cheek as she breaks out into a smile and Harvey thinks his heart might burst.
He reaches up and cups her jaw with his hand. Using his thumb to brush away the tear, he fights back those that fill the corner of his own eyes. His chest is heavy and his throat closed. Everything and everyone that surrounds them has faded into the background in a surreal blur. The only thing he can see clearly is her gorgeous face.
Reaching into his pocket with a pained gulp, he pulls the sheet of paper containing his heartfelt words. But just as the crowd has become hazy, the words on the page seem to float, coming in and out of focus like a camera trying to find the proper setting.
Harvey pinches his eyes shut firmly, and tries shakily to draw in enough air to settle the thrumming sound of the rapid heartbeat pounding in his ears. But when he opens them, the words on the page are still blurry and illegible.
"Harvey."
Her voice washes over him. Warm, comforting, full of love and understanding. And when he lifts his gaze to meet her soft green eyes he simply lets the paper fall to the ground, nods, and reaches for her other hand instead.
"Dear Theatergirl…"
Harvey clears his throat. The thickness in his voice makes it nearly unrecognizable, and the lump lodged there proves impossible to swallow down.
"I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm not an easy man to love. You hear something like that enough times, you start to believe it. Embrace it, even. I decided it was easier to close myself off from people rather than let them in, only to watch them eventually walk away."
Donna's eyes well up for a second time and his chest tightens. Clenching his jaw firmly he searches for the strength to get all of this out.
"Theatergirl helped me to see that there was more to me than that. Being NYC allowed me to show parts of myself I'd kept hidden away. Their connection gave me a space where I could open up, take chances, be a better version of myself. You gave that to me."
Harvey pauses to wipe away the slow stream of tears running down Donna's cheek. He's grateful for the distraction because pouring out his soul in front of a crowd like this is quite possibly his worst nightmare.
"When I realized that you, Donna Paulsen, were actually Theatergirl, I panicked." Biting his lower lip, Harvey squeezes Donna's hands in his. "Donna was a walking, breathing example of everything about myself that I hated. The way I treated you, everything I had put you through, it was like holding up a mirror and being faced with the ugliest of truths."
"Oh, Harvey." Donna shakes her head in an effort to stop him, but he continues.
"I wanted to run. To run away from the agony of knowing that I had quite possibly ruined what was my one chance at real happiness." Harvey croaks out a wet chuckle. "But I couldn't," he offers with a shake of his head. Smiling softly he goes on, "I couldn't stop writing to you. Reaching out to you. Loving you," he whispers in a heavy sigh. "And eventually, with the help of a few persuasive friends and family," Harvey glances at his best man and then his father looking on from the front row, "I told you the truth. Knowing in my heart that you might never forgive me."
"But I did." Donna smiles through the tears.
"But, you did," He nods. "I had never met a woman who could make me laugh, make me think, make me horny," Harvey tilts his head with his signature smirk and elicits a laugh from those close enough to hear him, "and make me completely crazy all at the same time."
Donna snorts and the crowd erupts with laughter.
"You are my soulmate, Donna. You have helped me understand what love really means and have made me a better man. There is nothing and no one in this world that means more to me than you do. And this moment right here," Harvey can hear the crack in his voice as his eyes fill but he's not going to let it stop him now, "this moment where I will become your husband, and you, my wife..."
The emotion is almost more than Harvey can bear. Pausing for a breath he brings Donna's hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles lightly.
"Is the happiest of my entire life. I love you, Donna. — NYC"
Knowing full well that this is not the point in the ceremony for the kiss, but not giving even the slightest shit, Harvey pulls Donna into him and covers her mouth with his. He's not sure if Donna's moans are those of protest or pleasure, but from the way her tongue is ravishing his, he's fairly sure it's the latter. It's not until the crowd breaks out in cheers and applause that he snaps back into the present reality.
"Uh-hum," Mike clears his throat loudly as Harvey and Donna finally unlock their lips. "The rings," he whispers.
"Right," Donna huffs, completely out of breath and seemingly off balance.
"The rings," Harvey repeats, clearing his throat and desperately trying to steady himself.
~oOo~
Looking back on it now, while laying naked next to Donna in their honeymoon suite, he can't help but chuckle. Honestly, after that mind bending kiss, the rest of the ceremony was a blur. Well, up until Donna climbed on his lap on the limo ride to the reception. Despite both of them being more than a little buzzed by then, he can account quite clearly for every tiny detail of that interchange.
Harvey can't recall ever feeling so at peace. Lying here looking out the window at the night sky, with Donna's breasts clinging to his clammy chest, and her leg strewn over his thigh. He knows she's tired, and the poor woman needs her rest, but his cock is coming back to life already and it's got his hand brushing teasingly over her taut nipple.
Who knew that even a bastard like Harvey Reginald Specter could find true love? The sinister smirk spreads slowly over his face before he climbs back on top of his wife.
~oOo~
AN: Thank you so much to everyone who accompanied Jo, Stef, and me on this super fun journey. It's amazing to me that Donna and Harvey are still so alive in my heart and I know it's only because of being able to continually share them here with all of you. Thanks again to Jo for being the best friend and writing partner a girl could ever ask for. And to Stef to being my ride or die. Love you both!
I'm going to miss NYC and Theatergirl so much.