One of the advantages of living in the middle of nowhere and having no social life is that I can spend more time writing. So here, ahead of schedule is the first chapter of episode four. Bit of a mood swing chapter as it goes from being kinda serious to silly. This episode (though not this chapter) will also feature the return of Souseiseki.

Rozen Maiden: Märchen

EPISODE 4

Desire

Kirakishou opened her eye. She was lying down. The ground felt ... odd. It moved beneath her. It slithered. She pushed herself up and saw that it was in fact sand. White sand. She got slowly to her feet and cast her one-eyed gaze about to see that she was standing in a desert. A great, vast, barren white desert. The sky above was as black as black ever got. There were no stars, no moon. She would have been surprised if there were. She'd never seen real stars with her own eye.

The sand gave off its own light, as if it were glowing. To some this might seem strange. Kirakishou had spent her entire life inside the N-Field, a place that reflected half-formed dreams and twisted nightmares. A place born from the deepest recesses of the psyche. Kirakishou lived down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass. What was strange to some was normality to her. Her sense of reality was as substantial as fog.

Despite being at ease by her surroundings, Kirakishou was deathly afraid. She was afraid because there was no one in sight for as far as she could see, and she could see for miles around.

She was alone.

"Hello?" she called out. Her voice rang out across the sand dunes, hollow, empty. "Is anyone there? Hello? Can anyone hear me?"

No answer.

"Father? Father! Where are you?"

Panic started to gnaw at her mind. Her mind, not her insides. She didn't have insides. She was a ghost. A form without substance. A shadow. When she reached out and touched something, she only imagined what it felt like. Phantom feelings. Phantom pain. Phantom fear. She was a phantom and she was scared.

"Somebody! Anybody!"

There was no one. She was all alone, and the loneliness threatened to overwhelm her. It weighed down on her like the crushing blackness of an ocean. Slowly, she put one foot in front of the other. Again. And again. She walked. She had no choice. She had to find someone. Anyone. Before the loneliness consumed her.

For how long she walked she could not say. Hours. Days. Weeks. It might have been years. She had no watch and the sky did not change. No sense of time. Eventually she started to feel tired, but a part of her knew that was only because her mind expected her to be tired after walking for so long. She didn't have a body to wear out. She had to keep going.

Eventually it proved too much. No matter how far she walked there was only the relentless sea of white sand. On and on it went without end. She may as well have been walking on the spot. She sank to her knees, her hands digging into the soft, warm sand. At least she imagined it to be soft and warm, and so it felt to her. For all she knew it could really be cold and hard. She'd never know, not without real hands. Her hands weren't real.

"Father ... please, Father," Kirakishou wailed, tears pouring from her one eye, "Why did you leave me here? Where are you? Where are my sisters? Father..."

By chance she happened to glance up. In doing so she noticed something. There was a table in front of her. A wooden table. Her eye widened and she stared at it, the rose in her empty eye turning slightly. The table was just sitting there on a flat stretch of sand. It hadn't been there a moment ago, yet it was there now. Kirakishou stood, her mouth open in stunned amazement.

There. The thing she'd been searching for. The thing Father wanted her to find. The Pyxis. It was on the table. Her imaginary breath caught in her nonexistent throat. It was a doll case. The design was very similar to the cases owned by the Rozen Maidens, except that this one was made from ebony and was as black as the sky above her. It had silver highlights around the edges, and instead of a rose design it had a silver fleur-de-lis on the lid.

So ecstatic to finally see it was she that she floated over the sand towards the table. She reached out to touch it, hesitated at that last moment and then timidly laid her fingertips on the sides. It was real. More real than she was. Her eye widened with joy, her face split with a stupid grin. She giggled.

"I found it. Father, I found it! I can become Alice now. I can become Alice and I can be with you."

She tried to open the case but it was locked. Yes. Of course. She knew it would be. That was why Father had given her the key. The thing he treasured, the thing he'd sworn her to protect. The key to the Pyxis. She extended a hand.

"Rosary," she said, intending to summon her artificial spirit. Her spirit would materialise the key in her hand.

"Rosary," she called out again, frowning. Her artificial spirit did not come forth. In fact she could not even sense its presence within her. It was gone, and without it she could not materialise the key she needed. Panic rose up once more, forcing her to release a hysterical wail of fear and frustration. She spun and whirled, hoping to see the little white wisp floating across the desert towards her, but it was nowhere to be found.

"No," she whimpered, on the verge of a complete breakdown, "No no no no NO!" She turned back to the black doll case and tried in vain to force it open. It was no good. She couldn't. She couldn't open it. She couldn't become Alice. She was going to spend the rest of time trapped, forever alone in this desert. Destined never to see her father or her sisters ever again. Kirakishou dropped to her knees, threw back her head and screamed.

The doll case flew open and Kirakishou sat up, her breathing fast and shallow, her eye wide. Seconds passed and she gradually came to realise that she had been dreaming. She was awake now. Safe. She was home. She chided herself. She should have known better than to try and sleep. It wasn't as if she needed the rest, and the dreams were seldom pleasant these days.

"Rosary," she whispered, holding out her hand. At once her artificial spirit came forth and sailed over and around her arm. The key materialised and fell into her palm, and she closed her hand tight and clutched it lovingly to her chest. It was safe. She still had it. Father's treasure. She hadn't lost it at all, it had just been the dream.

After taking five minutes or so to properly calm down, Kirakishou decided to get up rather than try returning to sleep. The remnants of her dream - no, nightmare - still clung to her frayed mind. She needed a distraction. She padded through the sparkling hallways of her crystal palace, wandering aimlessly from room to room, searching for something to occupy her time. The palace was full of mirrors. Mirrors everywhere, of all shapes and sizes. Mirrors on the crystal walls, mirrors on the crystal doors, there were even entire rooms covered from floor to ceiling with faceted mirrors. She stopped in front of one full-length mirror and examined herself in it.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" she said aloud, and giggled. Her gaze went to the white rose growing out of her empty eye socket and she scowled, reaching up to touch it. A flaw. Fair she might be, but Alice she was not.

To her knowledge there were only two ways to become Alice. One was to play the Alice Game and take her sisters Rosa Mysticas. She did not wish to do that. She loved her sisters, Suigintou especially, and she would prefer not to hurt them. Unless she had to, of course. The other way was to find and open the Pyxis. Whichever one of the Rozen Maiden did so would become Alice, and as she held the only key to it - a gift from Father himself - that would naturally be her.

There was still the little matter of finding it though. It wasn't in the N-Field or else she would have sensed it. Kirakishou was born in the N-Field. She was more attuned to it than any other living thing. No, it wasn't here, not in any of the countless thousands of overlapping worlds. It was in the real world. And that was a problem, because she could not go there. She had no body. Without a body she could not leave the N-Field. She needed a body to search for the case. Not just any body would do, either. It had to be one compatible with her spirit, and there was only one doll that fit the bill.

Barasuishou. The doll Enju had made using Rozen's discarded plans for Kirakishou. Barasuishou was close enough to Kirakishou to be her twin. The biggest difference was that Enju had created Barasuishou in the real world, whereas Rozen had created Kirakishou in the N-Field. Barasuishou was not a true Rozen Maiden, but she was the only doll that Kirakishou could use as a vessel. The only one compatible with her. They were like two sides to the same coin.

The reflection in the mirror twisted and warped, showing Kirakishou something other than herself. It was the Sakurada house. The inhabitants were sitting down to breakfast. Kirakishou pressed her hands to the glass and stared with longing at them. Food. Oh what it would be like to eat food. Real food, not the imaginary stuff she ate here that tasted so bland. Real food. Real drink. Oh, to drink tea! To enjoy the taste that brought a look of such satisfaction to Shinku's face. To feel the joy that Suiseiseki felt as she shovelled cereal down her throat. Kirakishou yearned for breakfast. How marvellous it must be.

She closed her eye and pulled herself away from the mirror, struggling to bury those feelings. Useless desires that she could not satiate. Not without a body. To live a life never knowing the taste of food or the caress of a gentle touch ... it was torturous. All she felt was what her mind sensed or otherwise conjured up, and it was nothing compared with the real thing. Why had Father done this to her? Suigintou enjoyed a massive inferiority complex simply because Father had left her body incomplete. She had no idea. No idea what it was like to be left without a body at all.

Her thoughts of Suigintou had summoned her sister's image in the mirror. Kirakishou turned her attention back to it and watched her big sis chatting with her Medium. Megu, her name was. A sorry exscuse for a Medium if ever there was one. Her heart was on the verge of failure due to some human disease. She could die at any time, and if Suigintou drew any amount of power from the girl it would only hasten her demise. How utterly pathetic. How pitiful.

And yet ... Suigintou cared for her. It was obvious to anyone that watched her closely enough. It was also puzzling. Suigintou had been fooled into playing the Alice Game by Barasuishou due to her desire to fix this broken girl. Kirakishou raised a finger to her lips, thinking.

"If that's all big sis wants it should be easy to arrange ... fixing one broken girl is nothing to one such as I." She smiled, a plan falling into shape inside her fractured mind. "I think it's time for me to extend an invitation to Suigintou. I shall offer to mend her Medium, and when I do she shall be ever so grateful. She might even be willing to come and visit me and keep me company."

Alone inside the vast, empty crystal palace, Kirakishou's eerie giggles echoed through the halls. Yes, she thought, company would be nice. It was so quiet around here after all.

"PERVERT!"

Jun Sakurada was having a bad morning. Breakfast had been interrupted by Tomoe, who'd arrived with Hinaichigo in tow. She didn't want to leave the newly awakened doll alone while she went to school, so she'd brought the little pink bundle of fun around to stay at Jun's. Hina was so happy to be awake again that she was like a five-year old kid on a sugar high, and that was not something you wanted to deal with first thing in the morning.

It only got worse from there.

"Just look at the puny lecherous runt! The evidence is clear for all to see!" Suiseiseki pointed accusingly at Jun. It should probably be noted that the little doll was wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around herself. Her wet hair dripped water onto the floor behind her.

"What's going on?" asked a concerned Nori, drawn to the sound of shouting. She gasped and raised a hand to her mouth as she saw Jun. "Oh Jun! Are you hurt?"

"By dose is beeding," responded her brother, his words somewhat garbled due to the large wad of tissue paper he had stuffed up his nose. He stood at the kitchen sink and tilted his head back.

"I believe he said that his nose is bleeding," said Shinku. She was standing next to Suiseiseki and was also dressed in only a bath towel. Her hair was untied as well and flowed down to around her ankles, droplets of water glinting along its glossy golden length. Nori looked from the dolls to her stricken brother, her expression changing very rapidly.

"Oh. Oh!" She went slightly red and giggled. "Jun-kun, what have you been up to?"

"The great big pervert walked into the bathroom without knocking," shouted Suiseiseki, "It just so happens that Shinku and I were having a bath!"

Jun managed to unplug his nose long enough to get a coherent sentence out. "That's so stupid! Whoever heard of a doll taking a bath?"

"The sensation is quite pleasant and relaxing, even for a doll," said Shinku calmly, "It would seem that I have a more appealing fragrance now as well."

Suiseiseki stamped her foot, then hurriedly readjusted her towel when it slipped a little. She glared daggers at Jun. "I swear, this is too much, even for the puny human! He so got off on seeing us naked!"

Jun almost choked on the blood pouring from his nostrils. He coughed, his eyes watering. "What the heck are you talking about? You're a doll for crying out loud!"

"Your nose is bleeding!" Suiseiseki pointed again for effect, "Everyone knows what that means!"

Nori smiled mischievously. "I knew you liked the dolls Jun-kun, but I didn't know you liked them liked them."

"Will you all shut the hell up! My nose is bleeding because I walked into the wall!"

"Liar! Pervert!" Suiseiseki yelled, "It's common knowledge that boys have nosebleeds when aroused!"

Jun snatched a fresh wad of tissue from his sister and used it to stem the continued flow of blood. "Like hell! That's just a stupid urban otaku legend! That doesn't really happen! Tell them, Tomoe!"

Tomoe was sitting on the couch with her school bag, waiting for Jun and Nori to get ready. When the commotion had started she had twisted around in her seat and silently observed, all the while struggling not to snigger at Jun's unfortunate predicament.

"Umm, I'm sorry, I don't know," she said in her usual quiet voice, "That's not really my area."

Jun clutched the sink with one hand and fought the urge to throw up. The blood loss was starting to make him dizzy. He was going to be late for school at this rate. Suiseiseki meanwhile wasn't about to let up.

"Admit it Jun, you have a doll fetish!"

"WHAT? I do not!"

"You so do! It's no use denying it, not after you confessed your undying love for Shinku yesterday. On Valentines day no less!"

Nori clasped her hands together and almost squee'd with delight at her little brother. "Jun-kun is that true?"

Jun hesitated, intending to deny it but realising that there were at least two people in the room who'd seen him do it, and one of them he'd done it to. Suiseiseki turned to Nori, her eyes glinting with impish joy.

"It is indeed. He was all 'Ohhh, Shinku, I love you! I want to be with you forever and ever!'" she faced Shinku and spoke in a mocking imitation of Jun's voice. Shinku simply stared at her, not reacting, while Nori actually jumped up and down. This caused Jun's blood pressure to rise, and since the blood was already rushing to his face out of sheer embarrassment it only served to keep his nosebleed going.

"Shut up! Just shut up! You weren't even there! It wasn't like that at all!"

"Actually I believe it was something like that," said Shinku with absolute calm.

"Oh Jun-kun! That's wonderful!"

"What's wonderful about it?" Suiseiseki snapped, "It just means your brother is a peeping tom that gets off on seeing naked dolls! Next thing you know he'll be ordering one of those Western Dutch Dolls online in order to satisfy his beastly cravings!"

"AAAHH! SHUT UP YOU ROTTEN EVIL DOLL!"

"I don't know what all the fuss is about," said Shinku. Everyone stared at her in astonishment and she blinked back at them with genuine surprise. "What?"

Suiseiseki gaped at her. "Doesn't it bother you that the puny runt was getting his kicks from gawping at us in the bath?"

Shinku smiled and brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Not at all. In fact I find it rather flattering that I could have such an effect on him. Don't you?"

Jun was speechless, which was just as well because he felt as if he might pass out at any moment, and talking would only use up what little air he had. Suiseiseki was taken aback.

"I guess when you put it like that ... I hadn't thought of it that way." She flicked her hair around and turned away haughtily, clutching the top of her bath towel and pointing her nose in the air. "Well human, I shall take this incident as a compliment and let you go without inflicting any of the brain searing punishments I had in store for you. I suppose it shows what good taste you have, after all. Just don't let it happen again or I will have no choice but to mash your puny body into a paste and feed it to the nearest cat, you big doll lover, you."

Jun briefly considered hurling a death threat back at her but fortunately for him she left before he could come up with anything suitably creative. It took him a moment to realise that Shinku was still there, and was still wearing her hair loose and standing around in a fluffy towel. She tilted her head to one side and smiled at him.

"Jun-kun," she said in a tone that he had only heard before when she was teasing him. He blushed and hastily turned away, whilst Nori hurried to his side and put her hands around his shoulders.

"Ohhh, my little brother is growing up," Nori gushed, much to Jun's dismay. "You know Jun, if you wanted, we could always have a bath together. As brother and sister..."

Jun leaned into the sink and clutched his head as if trying to retain a single shred of sanity. He whimpered. "Why ... what did I ever do to deserve this?"

By now Shinku had left to find Suiseiseki and get dried off, but Hinaichigo chose that moment to prance in and hop up into Tomoe's lap. She beamed up at her with a pure expression of innocence.

"Hey, Tomoe?"

"Yes Hina?"

"What's a pervert?"