A/N: Hey, I'm so sorry I haven't replied to your reviews. Life got hectic, and my Internet decided it hated me. Sometimes I wish wireless Internet didn't exist, sigh. Oh, and I ran over a nail and now I can't drive my car because my tyres need replacing. GAH! :(
ANYHOW. Here's a new chapter for you to sink your teeth into...not literally though, of course. That would probably hurt.
Wherever the Doctor went, he always ended up in trouble, whether he initiated it or not. This time, he hadn't, but the space liner he was on still had found a way to crash, without him doing anything.
Throwing open the doors to the control room of the space ship, he rushed in, skidding to a halt just beside the captain. "What's going on?" He demanded, eyeing the flashing alarm lights and the speed dials, which were at breaking point.
"You're not allowed to be in here!" The captain barked furiously, reluctant for the guests on the ship to know about the crash-landing situation. "And what on Earth are you wearing?"
The Doctor glanced down at his raggedy suit, the same clothes he'd been wearing when he'd saved the Earth in twenty minutes, all those years ago in Leadworth. "That's not important." He replied hastily, tugging at his ripped shirt. "First things first, what happened to my wife?"
"Your wife?" The captain echoed incredulously.
Amy chose that moment to burst into the control room, and the Doctor's face lit up. "Ah, there you are Pond!" He exclaimed. "Where did you go?"
"Sorry, had to deal with an alien who kept staring at my legs." She replied, yanking down her mini-skirt.
"What are you two doing in here? Get out!" The captain thundered. He reached for the button to call security, but the Doctor disabled the button with his screwdriver.
"Helping you save the ship, of course!" He said brightly. "You're crash landing, and you need our help to fix it."
The Captain frowned, unsure about them and their intentions. Especially because of their strange outfits. " Why are you both dressed like that?" He demanded, before his eyes widened in realisation. "Are you the couple from the honeymoon suite?"
"Never mind that!" The Doctor said crossly. "We have three thousand aliens about to die on this ship."
"Yeah!" Amy added, tossing her Kissogram police hat to the Doctor, who wanted to wear a hat while he worked. "Why do you care about our outfits so much? We were only trying to enjoy our honeymoon when you crashed the ship!"
The Captain sighed in resignation. "Fine. Let's get to work."
During Amy's rant, the Doctor's attention had strayed to her legs, and he could see why the alien was staring at them. His reverie was broken by the captain, who hit his arm. "Focus man!" He commanded.
The Doctor jumped to attention immediately. "Yes Sir!" He exclaimed, saluting him, before delving into work.
~I~
After saving the space liner, they'd returned to the TARDIS. The Doctor already had a new destination in mind, and when he ran to the console, he saw a gift from the TARDIS.
"Oh wow!" He exclaimed, withdrawing a sonic screwdriver. He pressed the golden switch, and frowned when he saw the pink light. "Pink!" He cried in disgust. "Dear, you know I hate pink! What were you…ah."
The TARDIS hummed in amusement, and the Doctor spun around to face Amy, who was just walking into the TARDIS. "Here wife, catch!" He called, tossing her the screwdriver.
Amy caught it, and she beamed when she saw what it was. "Are you serious?" She cried happily, examining the screwdriver in awe. "This is fantastic!" She reached out to pat the TARDIS walls, and the ship hummed again. "Thank you."
"My two girls are bonding." The Doctor commented fondly, grinning. "Magnificent."
"Hey, we've always been friends. Girls rule, right?" She asked the ship, who whirred her engines in agreement.
"Actually, I don't like this bonding thing anymore." The Doctor muttered. "You two will gang up on me."
"Oh no, we won't do that…much!" Amy told him, laughing as she ascended up the console room stairs.
"You're going to pay for that Pond!" He called after her.
"You'll have to catch me first!" She yelled back, and the Doctor laughed as he raced up the stairs after her.
~I~
The next destination on their honeymoon also landed them in trouble, although this time, it was their fault. Skin exposure was illegal on the Hurik Planet, a law that the Doctor had forgotten about, and Amy and the Doctor were knocked out and put in jail.
When Amy awoke in the prison cell, she immediately sought out the Doctor, and saw him sitting against the brick wall, scowling.
Amy winced as she sat up, feeling a bit light-headed from that gas that the Hurikan policeman had used on them. "Hey." She whispered, crawling over to the Doctor and sitting beside him.
The Doctor didn't reply, and Amy groaned in exasperation. "Don't go all moody on me mister. You're the one who got us thrown in jail. I wasn't the one caught with my trousers around my ankles!"
"Ah, but who was the one who pulled down my trousers?" The Doctor hissed, glaring at his wife.
Amy just sniggered.
"Well, I'm glad you find this situation so amusing." The Doctor sniffed, folding his arms. "You shouldn't though, seeing as we're stuck here. The Hurikan took my sonic screwdriver."
"See, this is why you never put it in an obvious place." Amy told him, peering down her top. "Take me for example, I always keep mine in my—" And then she shrieked in outrage. "It's gone!" She exclaimed in horror. "They went down my bra!"
Now it was the Doctor's turn to be amused.
"Wipe that smirk off your face! Your wife was just violated!" Amy said sharply, and the Doctor's smile instantly faded. "That's better."
The Doctor sighed. "So, now what do we do? I don't think I've ever felt so defenceless."
"Oh stop sulking, I'll get us out of here." Amy replied, crawling over to the padlock on their prison door. "I'm an expert at picking locks." She removed a hairgrip out of her hair, and put it in the lock.
"Fiddling with that thing won't do anything." The Doctor muttered. "How can a cheap hair accessory unlock an extra-terrestrial—"
He was then interrupted by the sound of the prison door swinging open.
"You were saying?" Amy grinned, rising to her feet. "Let's get the hell out of here!"
The Doctor didn't need telling twice. Grabbing her hand, they ran out of their cell and bolted down the corridor.
Just as they were about to round the corner, they heard the footsteps of the Hurikan policeman, who was no doubt coming to check on them.
Before the Doctor could figure out where to hide, Amy's hands balled into fists, and she leapt around the corner to confront the policeman.
"Amelia!" The Doctor gasped, rushing around the corner, only to see the policeman lying on the floor, and Amy towering over him.
"That's for looking down my bra you creep!" She spat, before kicking the policeman in the leg.
"That's my girl." The Doctor said affectionately, swooping down to take their screwdrivers that were sticking out of the Hurikan's pocket.
And then for good measure, he clenched his hand into a fist and punched him, knocking the alien unconscious. "That's for violating my wife, you creep!"
"That's my boy!" Amy chirped, giving the Doctor a quick peck. "Let's go!"
Hand-in-hand, they ran out of the prison, laughing the whole way back to the TARDIS.
~I~
About a week later, after another arrest and a near-death encounter with the Zestops, who had tried to kill him for landing the TARDIS on their Leader, the Doctor came up with a brilliant idea. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before.
After getting Amy up and blindfolding her, he guided her out of the TARDIS. "Tada!" He cried, removing the blindfold and spreading his arms out.
Amy glanced around in confusion. "Why are we at my old house Doctor?" She asked, looking at the Leadworth house she used to live in with her Aunt Sharon.
"Because I thought it would be a good idea to revisit some of our memories, like this one, for instance. This is the night of our first kiss." He told her, pointing to Amy's bedroom window.
"But we can't let our past selves see our future selves." Amy replied, frowning. "Are we supposed to watch us from down here?"
"Oh no, we're going to hide in your wardrobe!" The Doctor exclaimed, grinning. "I've parked the TARDIS underneath these trees, so even if our past selves glance out of the window and look into the garden, they won't see it. Come on!"
Taking her hand, he began to run towards the house. Once they'd opened the door with their screwdrivers, and after a brief one-minute argument about who got to open it, which Amy won, they hurried upstairs and into Amy's bedroom. They barely had time to get in it before they heard the TARDIS engines whir, and heard their past selves step out.
The Doctor remembered exactly how their conversation began, and he covered his ears to stop himself from hearing about Amy marrying Rory. It didn't hurt him; it just made him feel uncomfortable, seeing as Rory was now one of his close friends.
Amy poked him a couple of minutes later, and he uncovered his ears. He carefully cracked open the wardrobe door to watch the most interesting part of their memory: Amy pinning him up against the TARDIS.
Amy had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing out loud at the past Doctor's terrified expression as her past self tried to unbutton his shirt. The Doctor found it amusing too, and he smiled, realising just how far they'd come from that moment in time.
"You are sweet Doctor, but I really wasn't suggesting anything quite so…long-term." They heard past Amy say, before she pinned the Doctor up against the TARDIS and forced his lips to hers.
The Doctor grinned then, remembering how conflicted he had felt. He had wanted to kiss since their trip to Starship UK, but never allowed himself too. He watched as he kissed her back, and then he gripped her shoulders and pushed her away from him.
"Spoilsport." His wife whispered in his ear, and the Doctor shushed her.
Amy rolled her eyes at him. "They…or should I say we, can't hear us." She said quietly, and the Doctor covered her mouth. He dreaded to think what would happen if their past selves discovered them. The history of their relationship could change completely.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea. After all, he always ended up in trouble. Destroying his history with Amy spelt trouble with a capital 'T'.
The moment the past Doctor had shoved Amy into the TARDIS and the ship disappeared, Amy and the Doctor burst out of the wardrobe.
Laughing, Amy jumped onto her bed, and lay down on it, looking up at the Doctor with the same smirk she had given him when she'd laid down after her first kiss with him.
"I think this was a bad idea." The Doctor sighed, sitting down on the bed and ignoring his wife's provocative gaze.
"See. Spoilsport." Amy repeated, rolling her eyes and sitting up. "I liked watching the old us. Although, I wish you'd just surrendered and took me right there."
"Took you where?" The Doctor said in confusion, not understanding the innuendo.
"Forget it." Amy groaned, shaking her head in disbelief. "Well, I think coming here was a good idea."
"Of course you do. You love it when I'm a bumbling mess." The Doctor commented glumly.
"Don't be silly." Amy laughed, grabbing the lapels of his tweed jacket and pulling him down onto the bed with her. "I suppose I do love it when you're like that, but I wasn't thinking that. I was actually thinking that I never got to christen this bed."
The Doctor raised one eyebrow as he hovered over her. "Oh, really?"
"I wanted to that night, but you shoved me into the TARDIS and we never got to do it." Amy told him, pretending to pout. "I think you should make it up to me."
The Doctor was about to agree, when her alarm clock caught his eye, and he saw the time, and the date. His eyes widened in horror.
"Oh no!" He cried, scrambling to his feet. "We need to get out of here!"
"What?" Amy demanded as he hauled her to her feet. "What about—"
"Never mind!" The Doctor snapped. "We need to leave! Now!"
"Fine!" Amy hissed, whirling around and storming out of the bedroom.
Of course it was trouble coming here, the Doctor thought glumly as he raced out of the house after his wife. The date was the one date he wanted to avoid: the base code of the universe. They should never have come here, especially because it was related to the cracks in time, which could easily cost his wife her life.
The moment they reached the TARDIS, the Doctor transported them right to the other side of the universe, thousands of years in the future in his desperation to distance them from that date.
"What's up with you?" Amy demanded, noticing the Doctor's tense posture.
The Doctor straightened up from the console, but didn't turn around to meet her gaze. "Nothing is wrong." He said quietly. "I was just afraid that your Aunt would return to the house and see us."
Amy's eyes narrowed. "Of course you were." She muttered. "Liar."
She was too perceptive for her own good.
"I'm not lying." The Doctor replied, finally looking at her. "I just can't afford to risk changing our history. I can't lose you Amy." Although he was only making excuses, there was a half-truth to his words. His worst nightmare would be losing Amy to the cracks in time, which he almost came close to doing. Again.
Amy's face softened, and she stepped forward to wrap her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Oh Doctor, you're not going to lose me!" She told him, pulling back to smile at him. "You could never lose me."
If only she knew the full truth.
Pretending to be reassured, the Doctor smiled and pulled her back into his embrace. He buried his face in her hair, and let his false smile fall. He'd promised himself that he'd keep Amy safe by running as fast as he could.
But maybe he wasn't running fast enough.
Thank you to Niro for his anonymous reviews, and for pushing the review count to 900! :D Squee! OH, and also, I know you questioned about the Pandorica in this story...don't worry. It'll happen. In a different way though, of course ;)
Hayley x