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WE DO NOT OWN ANYTHING

Postcard From Paris- The Band Perry

I was standing in line at the coffee bean with my boyfriend of 3 years, Jack. He was sweet and kind and a perfect gentleman. I couldn't ask for anything better. I had met him my junior year in college. I was a wreck after my very ugly break-up with...Ezra. It still hurt me to say his name, to think his name, to think of him in general. I loved him and I would until I died. He was my soul mate, and you only get one of those. If it was meant to be, we would find each other again, right? That didn't mean I could hibernate forever. Jack found me in the library crying over...Ezra. He offered a shoulder to cry on and I willingly took it. We became inseparable. It wasn't long before we were "in love". I say that in quotations because I would never truly be in love with him. I wouldn't, no, I couldn't love him the way I loved Ezra. I missed him with all my heart.

It wasn't that I didn't love Jack; I would just never be in love with him. I knew I would probably never get Ezra back so I settled. I thought I could be happy with him.

The keyword being: thought. I thought I would be happy, but I was far from it. I was miserable and it was so hard. It was unfair to Jack, me, and even Ezra.

He deserved to know how I felt. If only I cold find him...

Jack and I took our frozen frappes out into the summer heat and began to walk down the streets of New York. We had moved into a small two bedroom apartment after graduation and had been living there for about a year. Jack was great. He was as sweet as he could be. I couldn't believe I couldn't be in love with him. How hard is it to decide to be in love with someone? I guess my ability to love was shattered along with my heart. If I had met him before Ezra, I could have easily fallen in love with him. But I met Ezra first, that was how it was meant to be.

The summer heat was beating down and the streets were busy with people trying to get to air conditioning. Jack and I were two of those people.

I wasn't watching where I was going and ran straight into a tall dark haired man. "I am so sorry sir! Are you ok?" I started muttering my apologies when I saw who I was talking to. It was Ezra; My Ezra. He was astonished to see me as well. We simply stared at each other for minutes.

"Ezra..." I finally got out.

"Aria..."

"Jack!" I heard Jack shout behind us. That's when we both realized we had company.

"Uh, Jack... This is...Ezra. An old...friend," I tried to explain, but you could see that I was lying. Usually I was such a good liar, but with Ezra around….

Jack didn't seem too convinced. I walked over and tentatively held his hand, shooting Ezra a sorry glance. I didn't want to hold Jack's hand, I wanted Ezra's, but I couldn't. I was already being unfair to Jack, using him as a rebound. "Well... it was nice seeing you again..." I said. It was actually bittersweet.

"Yeah… same here. Goodbye, Aria," he said softly as he turned to walk away. Jack and I continued to the apartment in silence.

The minute I walked in the door I walked to my office and shut the door behind me. I had too much thinking to do and not a lot of time to do it.

I had been in there about an hour and Jack had knocked to check on me a few times. I had never told him the name of the guy who had broken my heart and had never intended to. I guess now I had some explaining to do.

I walked out of the office and sat down at the table and started daydreaming. Had that moment sent him reeling just like me? Should I have gone with him? Should I not have let him walk away? One look at him and was through. My heart switched up on me. It's this never knowing that keeps me going and drives me crazy. What if that was my only chance?

It's like a postcard from Paris, when I've seen the real thing or finding out your diamond is from an old promise ring. It's the call back from your fortune teller; she read your cards upside down. I knew I needed to come clean to Jack, but I needed to talk to Ezra. Fortunately Jack had left the apartment to go meet his friends at a bar and I had managed to track down Ezra's phone number. I pulled out the scrap I had scribbled Ezra's number on and tried to muster the courage to call him.

Twenty minutes and several hang ups later I finally let the call ring through. He answered immediately and said, "Hello, Ezra Fitz's phone." That's always how he answered when he was distracted. Little did I know he was distracted by my digits scribbled on a scrap of paper.

"Ezra," I said with a lack of confidence. I could hear his breath hitch as he heard my voice. I thought that seemed like a good sign, right?

"Aria! I am so glad you called! I actually tracked down your number to call you!"

I smiled to myself at his enthusiasm. I had missed him so much. "I just wanted to tell you some things. That guy I was with, his name is Jack.

He is my boyfriend," I waited to see his reaction. I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Oh," was all he said. I took that as a sign to continue.

"Well, I don't love him. I've been with him for three years and I just can't. When we broke up... you shattered me. My ability love was shattered!" Then I thought for a second. Maybe my ability to love wasn't shattered, it was possible that I could only love one person.

"Aria! I am so, so-" he tried to apologize, but I cut him off and told him I wasn't done.

"But when I saw you today... something in me changed. I wasn't content to settle for happy. I want to be head over heels in love! The only person who can do that to me...is you."

"Aria... I want you to know that our fight that broke us up is the biggest regret I have. I wanted us to be a couple, but I was afraid and for that I will forever be sorry."

"I feel the same way. Now when I see Jack, it's like... it's like a postcard from Paris when I need the real thing or finding out your diamond is from an old promise ring. It's a call back from the fortune teller; she read your cards upside down. And the meanest thing you ever did is come around."

"Aria, you know I would never do anything to hurt intentionally. It's not like I meant to bump into you, but it happened... and I am so glad that it did." He seemed sincere in his statement.

"But now I'm ruined," I argued. How would I ever love again when the man I loved unconditionally couldn't do the same back?

"Aria, listen to me! You are not ruined-"

"But just when I thought things were alright, my eyes play tricks on me. Will I ever be satisfied because all I ever seem to find is-" I continued to ramble.

"ARIA! You are not ruined because I still love you!" I heard him suck in his breath. I assume he didn't know he was going to say it and was as surprised to do so, as I was hear it.

In a very small voice I whispered, "You do?"

"I never stopped," he said softly. I small tear ran down my face as I returned the love. Just then Jack walked into the apartment.

Oh, great, I had a lot of explaining to do.

"Ezra, Jack just walked in, but it doesn't change a thing. Meet me at the bookstore on 22nd Street tomorrow at noon. Do you know where it is?" I whispered.

"I go there everyday. Goodbye, I love you. Until tomorrow," and then he hung up. How was it we both went to the same bookstore everyday, but never ran into each other? I brushed the thought away and prepared for myself for what was sure to be an even uglier break up than mine with Ezra. "Jack, we need to talk…," I said as he shrugged off his jacket.

"Yeah we do! What happened to you today? After we ran into your friend today you've been so out of it! Is that what's got you so-" he stopped short and a wave of understanding flooded his face. "He's him. The guy that broke your heart. The guy you were crying about the day we met." I simply nodded and ducked my head.

"And now you have realized that you are still in love with him?" I nodded again. This might be going better than I thought. "Aria! This is madness! Are you out of your mind?" he screamed. Never mind to that thought. "I'm sorry." With that I grabbed my purse and left. I would stay in a hotel tonight and tomorrow I would go to see Ezra. I guess I would need to find somewhere to stay from no on because it's not like I could stay in the apartment now. All that was insignificant however because tomorrow I would be reunited for good with my love and nothing could ever smother the happiness that has radiated from that.