Chapter 58

If Alex was worried before, she was really worried now. Her hands were trembling as she gripped the steering wheel. Since they'd approached Bobby's release as a favor rather than an expose, the warden hadn't allowed them to see him. She took care of it in-house, and had only said he was ill due to his mental state.

She parked as close to the ER as she could without having to move it later. Ross was graciously silent, now. She supposed he'd gotten all of his anger out of his system during the drive last night. Numbly, she walked toward the hospital entrance and thought of another possibility: Ross really cared about Bobby.

They wouldn't let them see him, not at first. Alex kept badgering the staff until they finally sent out the doctor in residence to fill her in. "Alex Eames, I'm Bobby's partner," she explained.

"And I'm his Captain," Ross said behind her.

"He's in a state of hypernatremic dehydration," the Doctor said. "His condition is very serious. I've just admitted him. Once he's upstairs, you'll be able to see him."

"Doctor, was there any evidence of... how he got into this condition?"

"Lack of water. The information we got from Tates was that he refused to drink water."

Alex's forced herself to ask the question. "Is there evidence that he was restrained? Bruising?"

The doctor looked at the file again. "Actually, yes."

"If he couldn't move his arms and legs, how was he supposed to serve himself a glass of water?" She asked.

The doctor looked into the grave expressions of the people who stood before him. His eyes flitted over Ross' badge. "I'll call in the local police," he said, before directing them to the intake secretary to find out where they could meet up with Goren.

He looked horrible. A heart monitor beeped steadily in the background and his fluids were being replaced slowly through an IV. His lips were cracked and he was red and irritated around his eyes. They'd inserted a catheter and were measuring his urine output, which at this point was non-existent. The staff was concerned about kidney failure. His wrists and ankles were horribly bruised, and she'd been told his abdomen was black and blue, as well.

Alex stood at the foot of his bed and hugged herself.

Ross, ever practical, touched her lightly on the arm. "You're exhausted," he said.

"I'm not leaving him," she replied.

He nodded. He hadn't expected her to. "I'll check in at the hotel next door," he said. "Call me if there's any change." The two had stayed up all night, driving six hours to get to Tates. Ross would have to make the same drive back, and soon. He had a whole squad to think of. She glanced at him and gave him a nod. He spared another look Goren's way, then stepped out into the hall. He didn't leave straightaway, though. Danny Ross met with the Captain of the Truby police before he headed for the hotel.

Alex moved to the chair at his bedside and as she sank into it, she buried her face in her hands. "God, Bobby!" she breathed.

He gasped, and jerked awake. The light was no longer above his head, and as he looked around, he saw none of the items he'd grown accustomed to: the bare walls, the chemical hazard signs on the utility door. His mind was such a jumble, he couldn't process anything he was seeing, though. His heart rate increased, and he heard a soft but familiar voice.

"Bobby," she said.

It was an hallucination. He was sure of it. He squeezed his eyes closed and turned his head away with a painful frown.

The voice continued, "Bobby, you're in a hospital now. We got you out of Tates."

He couldn't wrap his head around it. It couldn't be true, it couldn't be real. He opened his eyes again and tried to make sense of his surroundings. "I'm...I'm out of there?"

He felt her gentle fingers wrap around his hand. "We got you out, Bobby. You're in a hospital now, in Truby."

Slowly, he turned his head towards the sound of her voice. Bobby looked into her tired and worried face, and it seemed real. He squeezed her fingers and allowed himself to drift to sleep.

Alex closed her eyes a moment, grateful for the warmth of his hand in hers. Then she opened them, and stared at the nasty bruising around his wrist. It wasn't so long ago that she had bruises like that. A tear slipped free and she wiped her eyes on the back of her arm.

"What about his kidneys?" Elizabeth asked. She'd been peppering him with questions about Goren's condition since he told her.

"They're hoping they'll start working again." Danny sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. "I don't understand. I thought they could just replace the fluids and he'd be fine."

"They can't do it too quickly. If they do it too quickly, he could have a cerebral edema, and brain damage..."

Ross slipped out of his shirt and listened while Elizabeth offered to come up and evaluate what the doctors were doing for Goren. He smiled. She had a good heart. "No, Elizabeth, he's in good hands. Look, I'm, uh... sorry about our date."

In her mind, she saw the work she'd done on the Lowery kid. "I'm glad you got him out of there, Danny."

"I'll take them... I'll take the pills," he muttered, and rolled to his side. He kept talking in his sleep. Alex snapped awake, and got to her feet. "I'll take the damn pills!" Bobby cried.

"Bobby, it's okay," she soothed, and placed a tentative hand on his arm.

The touch jolted him awake, and he looked around in confusion. He moved his limbs and realized he was untethered from the table. His air came in gasps, and he tried to calm himself. "Hospital?" he asked her.

"Yeah. You remember, that's good."

He sighed heavily. "Eames," he said, but he couldn't bring himself to say more. He had too much he wanted to tell her, and he simply didn't have the energy. She caressed him gently until he fell asleep once more.

The television was droning quietly in the background. She heard the name Donny Carlson and snapped around to listen. The escape the Warden had told them about. It was Donny. Alex covered her mouth with her hand and sank back into the bedside chair.

She couldn't blame Donny for trying to get out of there. He'd seen what they'd done to Lowery, and if he saw the same thing happening to Bobby, it wouldn't have been crazy to fear for his life. Alex dug through her purse and found Bobby's cell, which had been so silent these last two days. She punched through the contact list and pulled up a number.

"Hello?"

"Frank, it's Detective Eames."

He paused a moment. "Hello, Detective Eames. How's it going? Did Bobby find something?"

She looked down at her partner. "It's complicated. Frank, Donny escaped. Has he contacted you?"

The man was silent a little too long. "No, I haven't heard from him."

"Frank, this is bad. If you want him to have a chance for a future, you need to get him to turn himself in."

Frank paused yet again. "If I hear from him, I'll tell him that. Why are you telling me this? Where's Bobby?"

"Bobby's in a hospital, Frank. He tried to help Donny, and it almost got him killed."

"Oh, geez...!"

Alex noted that the man on the phone made no offer to come to his brother's side, no apology for getting him dragged into this mess in the first place. She set her jaw. "I gotta go." Alex hung up on him and paced the room angrily.

"8-8..." he was saying, and his face betrayed his frustration whenever he got stuck. "8-4..." He moved restlessly and turned his head. "4-3... badge number... I'm a cop... 4-3..."

"4376," Alex said firmly. "It's 4376, Bobby."

"4-3-7-6... 4-3-7-6...4376. I'm a cop."

She reached for his hand again.

Ross returned to the hospital that afternoon. "He looks better," he noted.

Alex wasn't so sure, but it was a comfort to hear. "His kidneys are functioning," she reported, the only good news she knew for sure.

"You get any rest?" Ross asked.

"A little. I catnapped."

"The hotel's not far."

"I'll keep that in mind, sir."

"Look, I'm gonna catch a ride back to the city. You stay, and uh... bring him back with you when you come."

She looked kindly at Ross and gave him a smile. "I'll do that."

"I'll expect a daily report."

She nodded at him. As he started to leave, she stepped after him. "Uh, Captain?" Ross turned and waited for her to continue. "What happens now?"

He blinked. "A note in your file, a formal in his. I'll do what I can, but it will be up to the Chief of D's." He didn't remind her that he probably had a reprimand waiting for him, as well. "First thing's first," he said after a moment. "Get Goren back on his feet." He touched Eames on the arm and then turned and left.

She heard a heavy sigh, and Alex shook herself awake. She rubbed her eyes and scrubbed her face, sitting up to stretch her back. Her eyes went to him. "Bobby, you awake?"

"Yeah," he said.

He'd been remembering more each time he awoke, and was becoming more lucid. "Do you need something?"

He scoffed a little. "New lips," he complained, raking his tongue carefully over the jagged, dry skin that hung there. He sighed again and his eyes went to the bag of fluid hanging on the pole beside him. "How long...?" he asked her, with a gesture of his hand.

"I don't know. Depends on... when the blood tests come back...they have to get everything back in balance."

He turned to his side to face her, wincing when he felt the pressure against his bruised waist. "Did you stop them?" he asked. "Is Donny okay?"

She sat very still. "Bobby, Donny escaped. He faked appendicitis and ran out of the ER. Nobody's seen him since."

He digested this information slowly. Then Bobby repeated, "Did you stop them?"

She looked down sadly. "We barely got you out of there. The local PD's investigating now, based on what happened to you, but Bobby..."

His brow furrowed as he listened. "So they're still in there... torturing prisoners."

"There's still a chance," Alex said. "It wasn't for nothing."

"And I'm...what, I don't know... fired or something?" As soon as he had that thought, he realized Alex was in the fire, too. "Alex, I'm sorry."

"Ross said it will be up to the Chief of D's."

He sighed and she thought she heard a curse.

She touched his hand and his eyes met hers. "What's done is done. We'll just have to... face it and move on."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

He had no special instructions on his release, just a reminder to drink plenty of water. The drive back was long. He told her about it in the car, the long hours strapped to the table, the crazy thoughts that ran rampant in his head.

She knew it was important for him to tell her, but she wasn't prepared for how his experience affected her. God help her, she was still in love with him, and she physically felt every painful thing he shared with her. Alex didn't let on. She kept her fingers around the steering wheel and got them back to the city. She walked him up to his place and didn't even ask if he wanted her company.

There was a half an hour or so of settling in, and then Bobby drank a glass of water and got into bed. She crawled in beside him and took his hand, holding it firmly between their hearts. "I'm so glad you're okay," she said, and it hit him suddenly that he wasn't the only one who had suffered. Bobby stretched his arms around her and held her, grateful once again to have her as his friend and with great remorse about the choices he'd made.

He stood before the Chief of D's, clean shaven, with a fresh haircut and a clean suit. Bobby hung his hat on the truth, and he boldly told them all. "I was able to confirm that inmates were subjected to punitive use of top-of-bed restraints..." he took a deep breath, recalling his own horrible experience. "...for up to 18 hours, without food or water. At least one inmate, Jay Lowery, died as a result of this torture. And while my investigation was unauthorized, I feel it was the only way to uncover the truth."

Moran sat in the middle, flanked by Ross on one side and his number two at his right hand. "Thank you for your statement, Detective."

"Sir."

"Now, Detective. Would you like to tell me who the hell you think you are?" Moran demanded. "You thought you were gonna get an 'attaboy' outta this?! You misrepresented yourself in a state prison, involved your partner, and your captain, as unwitting accomplices in discrediting ways that shall be duly noted in their jackets." He looked over at Ross as he said this, then turned back to Goren. "And you provoked an already overburdened MO unit to forcibly restrain you. If you ask me..."

"You think that... I wasn't playing insane, that I... am insane," Bobby said quietly.

"You ever asked yourself that question?"

Every day of my life, Bobby thought. "Yes, sir," he replied. "And I believe asking the question proves that I am sane. And that I was willing to take my investigation to the end of the line."

"Warden Pellis and Tates MO will be investigated... by the proper authorities," Moran told him. "Meanwhile, pending a departmental hearing and a psychological evaluation, you are suspended."

Ross stayed with Bobby while the Chief and his man left the conference room.

Alex was at the Squad, and she saw the Captain return. Bobby wasn't with him.

"Eames," Ross grunted as he passed her desk. She got up to follow him. She closed the door of his office and stood in front of him, arms folded across her chest and braced for the bad news. Ross kept his head bent, but looked her in the eye. "Goren is suspended pending a psych eval and a hearing. It could be a while."

She groaned aloud as the air left her. Then she shook her head and looked back at her Captain. "It could be worse," he offered. "He could have taken you down with him."

Goren went home and changed out of his suit, his mind reeling. He revamped his logic for this new and bolder way of life, and he couldn't see the flaws in it. He'd called Frank six times since his release from the hospital, and he never called back. He worried about Donny, and about Eames, and he remembered what LeZard had said about her never making Captain. He thought of his mother, and how the day he made Detective was the only time she'd ever said she was proud of him. He punched the wall with his forearm, thinking how Frank and Donny were the only family he had left, and his anger rose to a boil.

After he got no answer from Frank again, he pulled his maroon jacket over his shirt and left.

Frank answered his incessant knocking, and Bobby slammed him against the wall. "Hey I'm a cop, okay? When I call... you answer, okay? Now where is he?!" Bobby demanded. "Where. Is Donny?!" he growled, his face inches from his brothers, and his hand balled into a fist.

"Look, man, I got neighbors, just take it easy," Frank said.

Tears filled his eyes and his voice faltered. "You care about your neighbors right now, when your son is out there-?"

"He called me. He's all right," Frank said, hoping that would be enough for Bobby. "He only escaped cause he wanted to save your ass," Frank added, more than a little disappointed in his brother's rescue attempt.

"What do you mean?!" Bobby demanded. "What do you mean? You knew? You knew!" He grabbed Frank and threw him across the room.

"Get your hands off me!" he yelled as he stumbled back, knocking some loose papers off a pile on the table. "All right?!" Frank cried. "Just... Donny was doing fine up there without you stomping around! And just... you know what?! Just take Eames to a motel and get it out of your system."

Frank had stepped over the line. Bobby snapped. "What?! What?! he screamed, moving back in to grab his brother. Frank cowered against the wall, his hands in the air, and Bobby stopped short. "You tell me how I can reach Donny," he told him.

"I don't know," Frank answered. "He calls me from pay phones."

"Okay, so what do you hear when he calls?!" Bobby was still shouting. "Do you hear... city sounds, you know, sirens?"

"I don't know," Frank said, finally lowering his arms and looking at his brother. "Who pays attention to that?"

Bobby spun around and stepped away, completely disappointed in his brother. He shook his head, turned, and walked back. "Why didn't you call me when Donny was arrested?" He asked again.

"I already told you, man, it was tough love."

"No," Bobby said. "You were trying to save that favor. Because you knew it was just a matter of time when you could call in that favor for yourself."

"For my- for me? What have you done for me, Bobby? What have you done for me?! You gave me a coat, you slipped me a couple bucks?! So you can feel good about yourself?! Guess what?! I don't need that! Neither does Donny!"

"Donny's smart, Frank! He doesn't need you!"

"I'm smart!" Frank raged at him. "I'm smart! You forget! Everyone in this family forgets! I was the one!"

Bobby stood and silently shook his head. "No," he whispered. Then he found his voice again. "Look, we both caught a raw deal, okay? It could have brought us closer together, but this is it. This is us, you know?"

"You don't want to be my brother."

Frank's words tore Bobby's heart in two.

"Just get the hell out of here."

"No, not till you tell me how to reach Donny."

"He just wants your money- like me!" Frank prodded, and Bobby raged again. He growled and grabbed him by the neck. They grappled, and Bobby threw Frank down hard on the bed.

"Tell me!" he shouted. He pressed one hand against Frank's chest and the other against his own head. "Think! Think hard! What did you hear in the background?!"

Frank was cowering again. "I don't know, it was late! It was like... 4 a.m., and I..."

"What did you hear?"

"Video games or something in the background."

Bobby looked at Frank and let him go. He strode across the room. "All right. He wiped the sweat from his eye. "So it could be Times Square. All right. I need your, uh, cell phone. Give it to me."

"What?" Frank said, and then he noticed Bobby was looking at his desk. "Wait a minute, not there. No."

Bobby found his stash. He held up the little tube and Frank tried frantically to get it out of his hand. "Give it, give me... Just, just give it to me!" Frank took the vial and went back to sit on the bed.

"I'm done with you," Bobby said, his voice steadier than it had been all night. "You... you can't contact me anymore, ever again, you understand?" Frank stared at him, stunned. "If I hear that you're on a bridge, ready to jump, I-I-I'll listen for the splash." With that, he turned and left.

He roamed the arcades in Times Square, and then the streets. Donny was gone. He had no leads, no way to find him, the only family he had left. The only hope his family had left.