Another short chapter here. This episode will probably be more than the usual four chapters.
Rozen Maiden: Märchen
EPISODE 6
To Catch a Thief
DOLLHOUSE
The blog of Jun Sakurada
# I SOOOO ARRIVED!
We interrupt our regular schedule of boring and unimportant posts to bring you a special delivery by the one and only Suiseiseki! I finally convinced Shinku to show me how to work this computer gadget thingy. Isn't it amazing the stuff you humans come up with? Next you'll be telling me you made it to the moon.
Anyway, a lot has been happening over the last few days! We were attacked by a crazy doll named Kohaku. She was just full of surprises. Turned out she used to belong to the runt's mother, who let her wind down and then stuffed her in the attic. If I ever see that lady I'll so give her a piece of my mind! Us dolls should be treated with kindness and respect. We're not toys dammit! Well, we later found out that Kohaku was Barasuishou's sister. Who saw that coming? Not me, that's for sure. Of course, Barasuishou being the homicidal maniac that she is only went and nailed her big sis. What a heartfelt family reunion. I kinda feel sorry for that Kohaku though; she doesn't seem to catch any breaks, does she?
The runt tried to fix her, but she was too badly damaged inside. Hmmph. Maybe he just needs to try harder. I bet Father could fix her. I'd ask him, if I knew where he was. Oh! Father, if you're reading this, do you think you could repair Kohaku? She's not all bad. I mean she did scare us half to death and chain us up in the dark, but she was just in a bad mood. We all have days like that. And while you're at it, could you explain just why the heck you brought back Barasuishou and sent her to Jun? I mean I'm really grateful you brought me back and all, but she's not even a Rozen Maiden!
Speaking of which, she hasn't set foot outside her case since the whole Kohaku fiasco. The puny human tried to bribe her out with chocolate, but she was far too busy sulking to notice. I swiped that puny Ichigo's soft rice cake with strawberry and hid it in Barasuishou's case. She didn't seem to mind, and puny Ichigo wont think of looking in there for it. Hehe! I'm so brilliant it almost scares me.
What else? The play! The runt has been busy working day and night to make the costumes for the school play. He's also helping that Tomoe girl rehearse her lines. She got cast in one of the lead roles you know? I might have been worried for Shinku after watching those two act together (romantic scenes that had Jun blushing like the schoolgirl he so is), but I really don't think Shinku needs to worry at all. Jun isn't exactly Tomoe's type, if you know what I mean. You do know what I mean right? Well, let's just say her fondness for the lily flower is very symbolic.
Oh dear, I can hear that puny, puny Ichigo making a fuss downstairs. She must have just noticed that her soft rice cake with strawberry is missing. Took her long enough. I have no doubt that she'll hurry on up to point the finger at poor misunderstood Suiseiseki, who is always being blamed for things. I swear, I get so picked on sometimes it's simply unbearable...
Suiseiseki hopped down from the chair just as an angry Hinaichigo burst into Jun's room. She ran towards Suiseiseki, swayed to a stop and pointed an accusing finger at the Gardener. Souseiseki lowered the Die Geschichte von Puppe doll book and watched the proceedings from her perch on Jun's bed.
"Give it back you dirty crook!" Hinaichigo demanded. Suiseiseki folded her arms and faced the angry doll with a look of disarming innocence, a look Souseiseki had come to know well enough to instantly suspect her of being guilty.
"I so don't know what you mean, has something happened?" Suiseiseki asked. Hinaichigo curled her hands up and shook with restrained rage.
"Yeah! You stole Hina's soft rice cake with strawberry! Admit it!"
Suiseiseki gasped, her expression one of utter scandal. "What? How could you accuse Suiseiseki of such a heinous crime! I swear, you have so hurt my poor delicate feelings with these baseless accusations of yours!"
Hinaichigo hesitated for a moment, seemingly uncertain. "But ... but ..."
Souseiseki rolled her eyes. "Suiseiseki, just give it back already."
"How can I give back what I don't have?" She threw up her arms and took a step towards Hinaichigo, "Go ahead and search me if you don't believe me."
Souseiseki sighed and returned to her book. "You're hopeless."
Hinaichigo gingerly reached out and started to pat her sister down for any sign of incriminating evidence. Suiseiseki promptly burst out into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.
"Stop it, that tickles!"
"Unyuu!" Hina whined, "You don't have it."
"Well of course I don't you dolt, didn't I already tell you that? Look, if you want to solve the mystery of your missing snack, just do what Detective Kunkun would do."
Hinaichigo regarded her thoughtfully for a moment. "Kunkun?" her face lit up suddenly, "Oh! What would Kunkun do!"
Suiseiseki nodded encouragingly. "Exactly. Kunkun would look for the likeliest suspect."
Hinaichigo frowned. "But ... you're the likeliest suspect, Suiseiseki."
Suiseiseki almost choked, but she recovered brilliantly. "No stupid, not me. Who has been hiding away in their case for days and days without any food or yummy snacks?" She turned and pointed towards Barasuishou's case with a smug smile. "I present Exhibit A: one highly suspicious doll with a known sweet tooth."
"But ... but ..." Hinaichigo, despite not being the brainiest of the Rozen Maiden, nevertheless managed to spot the numerous gaping holes in Suiseiseki's logic. "Barasuishou hasn't left her case since she broke her sister Kohaku. Not even once. She couldn't have stolen Hina's soft rice cake with strawberry."
"Plus you do have a history of stealing Hina's food," Souseiseki added helpfully, her nose still buried in her book, "Past experience predicts future behaviour, as they say."
Suiseiseki growled at her twin. "Stay out of this, you! If I wanted your advice I'd have asked for it, you rotten bookworm! Honestly, have you no faith in your own twin sister's innocence?"
Souseiseki peered over the top of the book at her, one of her eyebrows raised noticeably higher than the other. "Do you really want me to answer that?"
Hinaichigo, ever the practical one, had decided to settle the matter of Barasuishou's guilt or innocence by simply asking her. She knelt in front of the Enju doll's case and spoke with a worry-laden voice. "Umm, Miss Barasuishou? Are you there?"
Suiseiseki scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Of course she is dummy, she hasn't left her case in days remember?"
Hinaichigo continued regardless. "Umm ... Hina was just wondering if ... if you maybe had her soft rice cake with strawberry. Because Hina lost hers and can't find it. And if you found it and ate it, then that's okay, because it's really yummy and unyuu, and Hina won't mind at all, really."
They all held their collective breaths, as if waiting for something big to happen. The air itself seemed to tighten, as if the room was watching to see what Barasuishou was going to do. When nothing transpired they all let out sigh, as if an expensive vase had just narrowly avoided falling over and shattering. And then the case opened with a barely audible click that nevertheless echoed in everyone's ears like a thunderclap. Hinaichigo raised her hands to her mouth as if she could grab any squeals of fright that issued from it and force them back. Souseiseki lowered her book a few inches, watching intently.
The lid of the case swung open and Barasuishou sat up, looking for all the world like a lifeless puppet being tugged around by unseen strings. She fixed her empty amber gaze upon Hinaichigo and blinked a few times. Then she glanced down and picked up the strawberry rice cake that Suiseiseki had hidden there ten minutes ago. She presented it to Hina without a word, who smiled with delight and took it gratefully from her.
"Thank you!" she gushed happily. When Barasuishou reached up to shut the lid of her case, Hinaichigo held out a tiny hand to stop her. "Wait! Do you ... do you want some?" She presented the snack to her, prompting wide-eyed shock from the twins. For a long moment Barasuishou did and said nothing. Then:
"Thank you. No."
She made to close her case once more, but was again stopped by an insistent Hinaichigo. Hina leaned towards her, worry etched on her face and in her bright green eyes. "You shouldn't stay shut in your case all day. That won't make you feel any better."
Barasuishou gave a very faint snort. "I am not meant to feel better. This is my punishment."
"Unyuu?" Hinaichigo didn't understand. Barasuishou sighed, as if the mere effort of explaining pained her.
"Now I know why your father brought me back; to punish me for interfering in the Alice Game. This is his revenge for what I did to all of you."
Hinaichigo didn't know what to say to that, but Souseiseki did. She closed the book and set it down on the bed, resting her hand upon the cover. "Father wouldn't do something like that," she said firmly, "He's not that cruel."
Barasuishou said nothing, not caring to argue the point. Suiseiseki had had enough of her moping though, and took several bold steps towards her case. "Honestly, you brought this on yourself. You were the one who attacked Kohaku. If you feel bad then it's through no fault but your own!"
"Yes," Barasuishou admitted, "My fault."
"Well then what are you going to do about it?"
She was silent for a long moment, evidently considering the question. They knew when she had her answer, for her eyes widened suddenly and she stood up. "I will get back what was taken from me."
They watched her close her case, tidy it away with the others, and leave the room without another word. Jun stopped in the doorway and watched her march past, paying him no attention. He frowned and turned to the other dolls. "Well at least she's finally out of her case." He stepped into his room and noticed that his computer was on and his blog was onscreen. He peered at it, noting the addition of a new post, his jaw dropping open as he read the first few lines. "What the hell is this? You've posted on my blog?!"
"Indeed I did," Suiseiseki admitted openly and cheerfully, "Honestly human, the things you normally write are so tiresome it's enough to put anyone to sleep. What you need is some colour, which I provide in spades."
"'Blushing like the schoolgirl he so is'," Jun read incredulously. He grabbed at his head, as if afraid it might explode with uncontrolled rage, "You posted that on my blog? Do you have any idea how many people can read that?"
Suiseiseki raised a finger to her lips, thinking carefully. "Hmm, well judging by the average number of hits you get per post, I'd say anywhere between two to three hundred. Give or take. I dare say my post will gain considerably more attention though."
Jun was torn between his desire to delete the new post before anyone saw it (too late, there were comments already!) and his overwhelming urge to do something unspeakably terrible to the nefarious demonic doll responsible. The latter won out and he chased Suiseiseki across the room.
"Yaah! The human is barking again!"
"I'll do a lot more than that when I get you, you evil little monster!"
"Oh! Oh! Hina wants to play tag too!"
"Ah-ha! Got you!" Jun held the squirming doll up triumphantly and glared at her, trying to cover the fact that he didn't know what to do now he'd actually caught her.
"Souseiseki, help! He's going to have his wicked way with me!"
Her twin gave her another raised eyebrow treatment. "You do know this is Jun you're talking about?"
"Hey, I can be pretty wicked when I want to be," said Jun, "I think I'll start by shutting you in the washing machine and putting it on spin!"
His plan for revenge would have to wait however, because at that moment the window broke in spectacular fashion and a doll case came careering through. It hit Jun in the side of the head and knocked him to the floor, causing him to drop Suiseiseki in the process. Everyone (save Jun, who was dazed) looked up as the case opened and Suigintou emerged, smiling to herself.
"Knock knock," she said. Jun groaned as he lay on the floor, slightly concussed, while Hinaichigo cried out with joy.
"Yay! Suigintou's come to play!"
"Say what?" Suiseiseki picked herself up and stared with disbelief at her elder sister, still shocked by her dramatic entrance. Souseiseki frowned.
"Since when do you need your case to fly?" she asked. Suigintou floated said case down and hopped out onto the glass-strewn floor. She regarded Souseiseki calmly, and without her usual malice.
"Since flying into a window with my head is an insanely stupid thing to do. It's nice to see you, by the way."
Souseiseki blinked with surprise at this apparently simple statement. "It is?"
"Well of course. You being here at all just goes to show that this useless human isn't quite so useless after all." She turned and poked Jun gently with the toe of her boot, while he struggled to locate his glasses.
"That's it," he muttered as he found them and slipped them on, "I'm having that window replaced with bullet-proof glass."
Before any of them could ask Suigintou any further questions, Hinaichigo rushed forwards and wrapped herself around the black-clad doll, laughing happily as she did so. The normal response from Suigintou to such an act would be one of disgust, but she actually smiled and placed her own arms around Hina. Suiseiseki did a double take.
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Suigintou?" she demanded, feeling as if one of the universal constants had just shifted. Jun sat up and snarled.
"A better question might be, why the heck did you have to break my window?"
Suigintou released Hinaichigo and glanced around at the shards of broken glass. "Yes, I am sorry about the mess, but after witnessing the dear twins enter your house in that way I simply had to try it out and see if it was as fun as it looked. It is."
Suiseiseki actually sniggered, and then realised that she was sniggering at something Suigintou had said and had the decency to look shocked with herself. Before anyone could say anything further, Suigintou chuckled and clasped her hands together. "Now, who's for tea? I'll even make it myself."