1956- Survival

Beverly wakes up every time her mother opens the door, her mother calls her a nervous Nelly. The moment she hears the door creak, she is sitting up in bed. Mother's friend is standing at the door with a soothing smile on his face. He tries to say something but Beverly hears nothing over the sound of her own screaming. After a few attempts to calm her down, the 'friend' closes the door and disappears.

Her oldest sister, Anna asks, "Beverly! Why do you act that way around strangers? You act like a crazy person!"

Betty, the second oldest Martin sister, answers for her.

"She screams because she's the smart one."

Beverly is the smart one but even she doesn't truly understand why she screamed, she is simply glad her mother's 'friend' is gone.

2004-Sincerity

Beverly was born and raised in the South but she feels better suited, if not entirely at home, on the East Coast. She frequently visits the West Coast for work but fails to see the appeal. Naturally, Leonard has settled outside of Los Angeles, the most intolerable of all West Coast cities. At least San Francisco has a heart. She and Edwin had spent their honeymoon in San Francisco in the 1960s. Edwin procured some Psilocybin mushrooms on the second day and she had spent hours trying to talk him out of a tree. As annoyed as she was at the time, she remembers the lush beauty of Golden Gate park and all the friendly hippies that helped her get Edwin back on the ground (literally and figuratively). She learned techniques that day that would help her years later with her research on hallucinogenics. She'd had many a research participant rolling on the laboratory floor, 'feeling mother nature'. In those days, Edwin had fervently believed in trying everything once as part of his understanding of the human condition. Once he became a father, he changed his views considerably. Beverly had to leave the room when he delivered his passionate anti-drug speeches to the children lest her eyes actually roll all the way back into her head. It is important to be a co-parent, to approach childrearing as a cohesive team, but it was far from easy.

Los Angeles, City of Angels, is full of smog, traffic and grotesque plastic surgery. She can't imagine how Leonard tolerates the environment but she dares not say as much. Any criticism she offers his new home will only make him more determined to stay. He still has no discernable tan but his choice of glasses and tee-shirt hint that he is trying to cultivate a sense of style. The frames are far too thick for his small eyes and the layers of clothing make him look smaller than usual but, again, Beverly knows better than to offer advice. Her attempts to assist Leonard in dressing as a professional resulted in his decade long commitment to a corduroy suit. She shudders to imagine what else Leonard would find at a Salvation Army if she dared suggest his collection of graphic tees and hooded sweatshirts seemed to be getting out of control.

California may well suit Leonard. He looks more relaxed though it doesn't take much prodding to bring out the old nervous tics.

"Did you complete your project for the military?"

"You know I can't discuss that project... yes, I am all done with the military."

Beverly is disappointed by his tone of voice, she'd hoped he would be pleased to finally make a decent sum of money. One's first priority should naturally be to science but it is also important to live in a comfortable manner. Leonard had never been without enough money for food, heat or electricity. He could only imagine what it was like to truly 'do without'. Beverly has gone without and she never intends to live that way again.

"Are you continuing your relationship with Miss Kim?"

"We broke up."

"A shame."

"Actually, she defected back to North Korea," Leonard elaborated, staring at his hands as he fiddled with his thumb.

"Oh. Was she a spy trying to gain access to your military work?"

"Yeah. Probably."

"The course of true love never did run smooth," Beverly offers. Her patients are often comforted by Shakespearean platitudes.

Leonard simply looks confused and her attempt at conviviality lingers in the air like an unpleasant stench.

"Was she able to obtain any classified information?"

"No. Even with classified information in my apartment, I wasn't able to hang on to a girlfriend for more than a month."

1958- Pragmatism

Adele teaches Beverly how to stretch a dollar. Breading, salt and butter make even the paltriest meal delicious. A few scraps of meat season a whole pot full of collard greens. Breading and spices make one chicken and a handful of vegetables enough to feed a large family. Beverly wonders if Jesus had fried up the loaves and fishes and convinced the multitudes they were getting enough to eat. The down side of their delicious and inexpensive meals is the sodium and cholesterol is certain to shorten their lives. She tries explaining the articles she's read on the subject but her mother stops her short by explaining, "You know what else is bad for your health? Starving. Now make me some hush puppies."

2006- Refinement

"I can't believe you were in beauty pageants!" The young woman's astonishment borders on offensive, "I mean, someone as smart as you dressing up like a parfait and giving fake smiles."

"The skills required by beauty contests were very highly valued in southern women at the time. My rearing well-prepared me for such contests."

"But, didn't you feel like you were selling out?" the woman asks, her face showing distaste.

Emily is a 24-year-old graduate student with significant potential. She wears the flannel and pigtails of the current breed of young, hip, intellectual females. Beverly is giving a series of lectures at various University of California campuses and there is an Emily at each school, an adoring but irritating shadow.

"Perhaps you should think about that question tonight and then tomorrow, if it still seems to you like an appropriate question to ask, I will happily answer."

Emily's eyes widen fearfully. It had clearly not occurred to her that Beverly might be offended by her question. All the young women Beverly work with seem so sure she shares their every opinion. Beverly had been indifferent to the feminist movement, she'd been too worried about advancing herself to worry about the direction of her sex as a whole, but she is painfully aware of post-feminism. Feminism had surrounded her with young women with eager minds who believed they had a place in once male-dominated field. Post-feminism has surrounded Beverly with women who are so sure they are intellectual equals to men, they fail to see the oppression around them. They blithely believe their advancement will be merit-based and their genders irrelevant. Gender is never irrelevant. Just because the men in charge no longer slap women on the bottoms and ask for coffee doesn't mean there aren't just as many men looking at the women below them as biologically intended to be subservient. The subtle sexism in academia, and in the world in general, is insidious. Emily has likely never questioned her intellectual capacity or potential for greatness. Beverly envies the young woman's easy and un-conflicted confidence but knows it is a house built on a foundation of sand and will soon be washed away.

Emily does not ask the question again. Beverly is disappointed but Emily is still an impressive intellect. She looks confused but flattered when Beverly gives her Leonard's e-mail address.