Chapter 60

Bobby was relieved. He sat in holding with Stoat and tried to keep his poker face on. He couldn't blow his cover yet. Stoat sat behind him and fed him the story they were supposed to share in interrogation, something that would pin it all on Testarosa.

"Stoat!" Daniels called as he, Eames, and Ross walked down the hall. A uniformed officer slid the cell door open. The man slid the door shut again as Daniels escorted Stoat to interrogation. They waited until he was out of earshot, and opened the door again. Bobby got to his feet and walked out.

"Testarosa's lawyered up," Ross told him.

"What about Melago?" Goren asked quietly.

"What's going on here?" Alex asked. She'd convinced herself that Bobby had given in to his depression, given up on reinstatement, fallen down the wrong path. The two men were acting differently.

Goren looked at the Captain. "Is now okay?" he asked.

She stepped back in shock. "You're undercover and you don't tell me?!"

Bobby turned slowly toward her, but Ross beat him to it. "Those were my orders, came from the top."

Alex stood, agape. "I can't believe this." She turned back to Bobby. He should have told her, he should have trusted her.

"It was a need to know case. I'm sorry," Ross said.

The look on Alex's face gave Bobby pause. She'd never looked at him like that.

"Eames, Melago is in holding downtown, you have a history with her. See if she'll deal."

Stiffly, she nodded her head. As she turned to leave, she scowled at Bobby. He looked at his Captain, and then hung his head.

"Eames, your partner's about to go in with Stoat," Ross said.

Bobby was wearing his ID, now, officially a cop again. He entered the interrogation room and Stoat railed at him. "You shook my hand! You told me you had my back! You lied to me!"

"Yeah. I'm a cop," Bobby told him. "I'm allowed to lie to criminals." He tried to convince the man to talk.

"I'm not a rat," Stoat said, tapping the two way mirror with his knuckles and pointing at Goren.

"C'mon, Bobby. You're gonna do this to one of your own?"

"Yeah, well, that's the thing, Mike. I'm nothing like you." He questioned him, and only found out more about what a dirty cop Stoat had been. Stoat wouldn't give him what he needed, though.

"What are you getting for setting me up? Are you getting your shield back? Is that your thirty pieces of silver, Bobby?"

Bobby didn't entertain Stoat with an answer. "What about the Bennetts?" he asked, coming back to the case. After a while, Bobby left the room. He went into observation and found Alex and the Captain. "He's not giving anyone up," he said.

Ross told them what to expect next, and then his phone rang. "Chief of D's," he announced. "Yeah, Boss," he answered, and left the room. Alex started to follow.

"Eames," Bobby called. She turned back, still with that bitter look on her face. "I'm sorry," he said earnestly.

Her arms were folded, and she glared at him. "That's all you have to say to me?! I could have blown your head off back there." She tried to keep the tears at bay as she continued. "Eight years, I've had your back and I don't even get the courtesy of a phone call!"

"I was... trying to protect you," he said quietly.

"Since when?"

"There were rules that-"

"Rules." She laughed. "You gotta be kidding me. You managed to get word to the Captain. You contacted the Chief of D's, but just not your partner?"

"This is my only way back," he defended himself. Bobby drew in a breath. "I mean... how else am I gonna get my shield? You're not getting it!"

"I get it," she interrupted, anger dripping from her voice. "I get it. You're the genius, and I just carry your water, right?"

Bobby frowned and ducked his head. How can she think that?

"Do you have any idea how many times I've lied for you? Covered your ass?"

"I was in a deep hole, here."

"And whose fault was that?! All your wounds are self-inflicted."

That struck him hard. He turned, as if he could dodge whatever she might sling at him next. He swallowed hard and then turned back again. "You know, I tried not to drag you into this one."

"And what would you have done if I hadn't burst through that door?" She stared at him, hard. "If it wasn't me, you'd be dead."

He struggled with that one. He knew she was right, and he hadn't had any time to think about any of it. Bobby's gut tightened, and he tried again to explain. "I didn't look for this."

"You could have fooled me, detective," she said coldly. "I hope it was worth it." With that, Alex walked out the door.

She didn't know she took a piece of him with her.

The next day, Ross called Bobby in. The Chief of D's was waiting there, and in the presence of his Captain and his partner, he got his badge and gun back. Bobby couldn't hide his joy, although he was very quiet about it.

Daniels gave Eames a warm handshake before he went back to the gang unit.

She was just packing to go home when Bobby walked up. He sat down at his desk and tried to straighten a stack of files that had accumulated on his desk. "S-so see you in the morning," he said happily.

She tried not to be angry, but it was still there. "Yep," she said, and walked out.

Bobby frowned, wondering if they could ever recover from this. Then he opened his desk drawer and found a dead rat. He closed it and stiffly thought, wondering which of his colleagues had planted it there. Slowly, he scanned the room, cataloguing each man and woman, every negative interaction he'd had with them.

That's the price of temptation, he thought to himself.

It was a rocky week. She was still pissed, and it looked like she was going to stay that way. She didn't engage in any small talk, and she didn't ask how he was doing. It was all business, all the time.

By the end of the week, even his joy at being back couldn't withstand the constant cold shoulder from his partner. "C-can I... talk to you?' he asked her, and waved her into an interview room for some privacy. Alex folded her arms and followed him. He shut the door behind them. Bobby sat on the edge of the table and gripped the edge with his hands. "Look, are we... gonna recover from this?" He asked, straight out.

"I hope so, Bobby," she said quietly.

He nodded nervously. "Y-you hope so. That's it. That's all you have to say about it."

"Well what do you want me to say, Bobby? I can't just turn off my emotions."

"You know, you told me... that all my wounds are self-inflicted. Maybe so. But you know what? I don't have some kind of a... map to follow, here. I'm just doing the best I can with the hand I'm dealt, you know? And it seems to me that you, of all people, should understand that."

"Just what do you want me to understand, Bobby?!"

"Th-th-that I...!" His face turned red, and he shook his head. "Forget about it. I can't win, here. No matter what I do, it's wrong. It was wrong to bend the rules, to disobey them even though I exposed the truth! And now, it was wrong to follow the rules. I followed them to the letter, Alex, and yes, they gave me my shield, and am I happy about it? You bet I am. But you see my dilemma? Breaking the rules, or following them, I'm wrong in your eyes. That's what I wish you would understand!"

She was very quiet, and though he waited, she didn't respond. Bobby got up and walked out, leaving Alex with that thoughtful frown on her face.