2006- Uncertainty
"You really don't see anything wrong with this?" asks Cassandra in a deceptively calm voice. Her hand shakes as she clutches the manuscript and her eyes are shining with unshed tears.
Beverly anticipated some resistance from her children, that's why she chose to present the first draft of her book to them together. It had taken some skill to convince all three of them to join her for Thanksgiving but when Beverly sets her mind to a task, there are few who can resist her arguments.
"This book is a detailed analysis of brain development..."
"In which you tell the reader when and how I learned to masturbate," interrupted Michael.
Her children do feature strongly in the book as she's obviously been studying them since birth but they are treating her scientific work like a dime store novel.
"No one will know that you are subject 3..."
"The people who know us will!" Leonard yells, not bothering to uncurl from his fetal position on the couch next to Michael. Michael's cheeks are red and his eyes are flint but he is doing his best to maintain an appearance of cool detachment. Leonard, on the other hand, is wiping away tears and trembling.
Cassandra is doing some yoga breathing as she paces the room.
"Only people you know who are interested in neuroscience to the degree they would read an 800 page esoteric tome on the subject and know that I'm your mother might be able to discern that subjects 1,2 and 3 in fact the three of you," Beverly explains calmly.
Leonard lets out a hysterical laugh, "Of course, none of our friends can count to three! Howard will never figure out the short one who is allergic to everything is me! It's like you've never talked to an actual human being! Are you sure you're actually our mother? Were we created in a lab?"
"Mother, people who know us are going to find out about this! My husband is going to find out about this!" Cassandra yells between cleansing breaths.
"I hardly see why Alan would be..."
"You have the real story of how I lost my virginity in here! How the hell am I supposed to explain that?" her daughter retorts, "Not to mention the other two guys who think they were my first!"
"Why would you tell them..." Beverly abandons her question when the manuscript comes hurtling towards her head.
"You tell me, Mother! Look in the index under Subject 1- shame issues and see what it says!"
"I hear what you are saying, Cassandra, and we can work around the more delicate issues without compromising the weight of the text," Beverly offers (despite having already made that very point before handing over the manuscript).
"Mother," Michael speaks quietly, "It's all delicate. It's all too personal. What if I run for office? I can't have my opponents bringing up stories like..."
"Sleeping with your brother's girlfriend?" Leonard offers.
Michael keeps his eyes fixed on Beverly but she can see him wilting under Leonard's glare. At long last, Michael is experiencing regret for his actions, not because he feels compassion for the people he's wronged but because his indiscretions might interfere with his life plan. There's an unpleasant smile on Leonard's face, he's sensed the shift in their relationship.
"I look like a loser but you, Michael, you really come off like a dick, don't you?" Leonard observes quietly.
Cassandra laughs bitterly. Beverly is grateful for the lack of yelling but she can see this conversation is going down a bad path.
Michael maintains his calm demeanor, "None of us want our childhood mistakes and embarrassments made public."
"I'm sorry I threw your book at you," Cassandra whispers.
"Maybe it's not so bad," Leonard's face is still wet with tears but he's no longer crying, "Maybe we should be more supportive."
Michael and Leonard glare at one another silently while Cassandra stares at her feet.
"If each of you offers me notes, I will take them into consideration and edit the text to the best of my ability."
They'll come around, eventually. Cassandra and Leonard are scientists and logic will eventually prevail. Despite the embarrassment they are feeling at seeing their peccadilloes laid bare, they come across as likeable and relatable individuals while Michael comes off rather unpleasant. Her editor has asked for more anecdotes on the "Three" as she refers to them. She says the stories will help to book "crossover" and increase sales.
Watching her children acting so unlike themselves, she is reminded of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. She has collected data on her offspring since birth, not to further her career but because it allowed her to combine her two greatest passions. She'd always imagined herself to be creating naturalistic case studies. No, belatedly, she realizes that the experimenter is never invisible. By documenting her subjects, she has changed them.
2010- Settling
No one has to tell Beverly that Leonard is dating his waitress/actress neighbor, Penny. Sheldon dislikes talking about Leonard during their video chats, Dr. Cooper is far more jealous of her time and attention than her children have ever been, and on several occasions he has complained about Penny's increased presence in their apartment. Sheldon gripes about her pumicing, her hair in the shower and her utter failure to abide by his various rules. Either the woman has terrible boundaries or she and Leonard are engaging in coitus.
Leonard never mentions Penny. When she asks if he is seeing anyone, he is evasive and says only that he 'sees people'. Even when she sets up a Christmas time visit, he refuses to capitulate and admit he is dating a woman so steeped in daddy issues, she would make Freud weep with joy.
The visit begins poorly. Leonard seems even more overly sensitive than usual. He complains about not being kept abreast of Beverly's life when he makes every effort to avoid meaningful conversation with her. There is a moment of warmth and conviviality as Beverly again teases Raj and Howard about their friendship. Leonard takes great delight in tormenting his friends about the closeness of their relationship while he and Sheldon are slowly blending into one person. Beverly wonders how Penny feels about attaching herself to one half of a fused personality.
It doesn't take long for Leonard to have his first emotional meltdown. He takes the news of her impending divorce badly and is more disturbed by the death of his childhood pet than she'd expected. Soon after her arrival, he has locked himself in his bedroom.
Beverly tries to follow Leonard but Sheldon intercepts her.
"I'm Leonard's best friend and confidante, he relies on my counsel in times of stress. He always comes to me with his problems, no matter how little I care."
Beverly is touched by Sheldon's misguided but well-intentioned words. Leonard and Sheldon have an unhealthy, co-dependent and beautiful relationship. Although they often seem to bring the worst out in each other, they share an unconditional positive regard that Beverly has never experienced.
She asks Penny for a ride back to the hotel. While she puts no more faith in Penny's driving abilities than those of a random cabbie, it is simply a subterfuge to allow her to observe Leonard's paramour.
Beverly says that she doesn't drink out of habit although she had been drinking more than the suggested one glass of red wine a night. After 62 years of near tee-totaling, she cannot think of herself as a drinker.
The first hits Beverly like a brick. She's never had straight whiskey before. On the rare occasions she drank hard liquor, it has always been a cocktail. The effects of the alcohol are immediate. After a few shots, Penny is already getting silly and announces that she is sleeping with Beverly's son. Beverly is momentarily confused by the wording and wonders how Michael is managing an affair from Boston to Los Angeles. The boy was engaged, it was time for him to stop sleeping around. When Penny clarifies she means she is sleeping with Leonard, Beverly wonders why Penny opted to say 'sleeping with' instead of dating. By Beverly's estimation, the two have been dating for several months. Penny's word choice both diminishes the significance of the relationship and is overtly sexualized. Perhaps she is shielding herself from Beverly's judgment by playing down her role in Leonard's life. Perhaps she is protecting herself by distancing herself from the relationship, preparing for the day that Leonard finds someone more suitable. She doesn't think Penny is biding her time with Leonard until someone better comes along. If Beverly thought that, she would eviscerate the waitress without a second thought.
There's a vulnerability to Penny that Beverly finds endearing. All of her children sailed through school and were headhunted before completing their degrees. What did they know about chasing a dream for years and wondering if you are wasting your youth? A woman can only depend on her looks for so long.
She never gets an answer from Leonard as to why he kept the relationship a secret and, once sober, she decides she'd rather not know.
She tells Leonard to take care of Penny, instructs him to burden himself with someone who will never be his intellectual partner and who will only grow to resent him for her own shortcomings. There's no reasoning behind her gesture other than a hazy feeling that Penny could potentially make Leonard happy. Beverly remembers when Edwin nearly made her happy.
It had been decades since Beverly kissed a man other than her husband. Pressing her lips to Sheldon's tightly close mouth, feeling his complete lack of desire, she is again struck by the sensation that Sheldon is a mildly distorted mirror. How many men, including Edwin, have had this same experience while kissing Beverly? She has always imagined herself as reserved in her passion. Perhaps she has simply been cold.
1971- Optimism
"I've been giving this a lot of thought," Edwin announces as he hands Beverly her cup of tea, "I think we should get married and have children."
Edwin has taught her to truly appreciate a well-made cup of tea. She's grown up reusing tea leaves and coffee grounds for maximum frugality but Edwin drinks monkey-picked oolong and only uses raw sugar.
Beverly takes a sip of her tea and thinks about Edwin's proposition. He is an ideal mate and potential father for her children. He is brilliant, healthy, cultured, has received the finest education money can buy, well-bred, well-connected and physically attractive.
She's very fond of him, she feels at ease in his presence, and they share a myriad of interests. Beverly cannot think of a good reason to refuse his proposal and yet she hesitates. They've been dating for nearly a year and have yet to consummate their relationship. They've never discussed his lack of ardor and it certainly does not bother Beverly. It's a relief to spend time with a man who is not perpetually 'on the make' but it is aberrant behavior for a healthy young man. She hesitates to speculate about his upbringing, and perhaps she is projecting but she wonders if there is a trauma underlying his lack of libido.
Beverly's previous sexual experiences have been disappointing but she is well-aware of the importance of sexual intimacy in the romantic bonding process. Edwin says he wants to have children so he must be planning to engage in sexual intercourse at some point.
She says yes, she cannot think of a good reason to answer otherwise.
2011- Obfuscation
Leonard looks terrible when he arrives at the restaurant. She assumes Penny has terminated their relationship. Beverly has never gone through a 'break up', Edwin was her first real beau but based on the popular media, it is a terrible experience that must be expressed endlessly in song and prose.
"Can I assume from your downtrodden expression that Penny has ended your relationship?"
"It's good to see you, too, Mother," Leonard snarls as he flops into his seat across from hers.
"Very well, Leonard. Oh, dear. Whatever can it be that is making you so unhappy?" she asks in her most concerned tone of voice.
Leonard frowns, "I'd rather not talk about it."
"If you didn't want to talk about it, you would have made more of an effort to hide your unhappiness."
"What's new with you, Mother?"
"Your father and I are still in the midst of our divorce paperwork. If it's any consolation, it is fortunate your relationship with Penny ended before you became legally entangled. Divorce is filled with tedious red tape."
"That's very comforting."
Beverly is wounded by his sarcasm. Penny is the only person who has expressed concern for Beverly's feelings about the divorce. Admittedly, she has been putting up a cavalier front but one hardly needs to be a psychoanalyst to see she is utilizing a defense mechanism to get through a difficult time.
She is heart-broken.