A/N: This fic takes place in the same modern AU as my friend LionsEscaped's modern J/C fanfictions. Thank you to LionsEscaped for your feedback, encouragement and support. This fic wouldn't be possible without you.

The Daily Raven front page report

"It has been three days since Senator Lannister's grandson Joffrey's Baratheon 12th nameday was thrown into chaos when a shirtless Jaime Lannister had allegedly opened his sister Cersei's bedroom window, which a ladder (left by the gardener by accident) had been propped up against, pushing the ladder, and the seven year old Brandon Stark off the wall. Bran Stark had wandered from the festivities and fell three stories onto the ground. Bran was currently in a coma, but his aunt Lysa Arryn, who was in attendance with her nephew Robert "Sweetrobin" Arryn, claims to have distinctly heard her nephew shout "Check it out! There's people doing it in here!" from several yards away before hearing the crash of the ladder hitting the ground. Bran Stark was rushed to the hospital, and the incident was deemed an accident, despite the protests of the boy's father.

However, this had been only one of the many instances in which Senator Lannister's children had been caught in a compromising position. Earlier that day, his younger son Tyrion had been charged with speeding and driving while intoxicated in the Hollywood Hills with a prostitute in his car, but not before attempting to pay off the highway patrolman. And who could forget the youtube video that had gone viral on TMZ during the republican primaries back in 2016 and Senator Lannister's failed run for president of what was supposed to be Jaime trying to shoo a bee from under Cersei's dress?

In the wake of the death of Senator Robert Baratheon, at the hands of his brother Stannis, Sheriff Ned Stark believes that Robert's pregnant widow Cersei and her family had a hand in his untimely demise. These allegations are fueled by the fact that Jaime Lannister had moved in to help his sister raise her children, Joffrey 12, Myrcella 8, and Tommen 7. Baratheon's surviving family and dearest friends continue to cling to the rumor that Cersei's children are the product of a torrid affair with her brother, which the Lannister family have since sued TMZ for spreading misinformation. With many dissatisfied Californians demanding Tywin Lannister step down as senator, can the family afford this much more scandal?"

Tywin Lannister had his fill of scandals. This news article was another nail in the Lannister family's coffin and now he was going to his daughter's Beverly Hills Mansion to lay down the law. He rapped smartly on the door three times and Cersei's housekeeper Bernadette let him in.

Tywin found his twins sitting precariously close together in the dining room over eggs Benedict. Tywin cleared his throat and Cersei gasped audibly while Jaime shot out of his seat to greet him."

"Father! So good of you to come! We weren't expecting you." Jaime told his father.

"I could tell." Tywin observed dryly, taking in Cersei's red satin pajamas and Jaime's wife beater and boxers. "The children are at school?"

"Joffrey is ill today. He doesn't have a fever, but his hands are clammy and he seems to be in a considerable amount of pain. He's in his room." Cersei informed her father. The truth was, Joffrey was faking, using a trick he learned from watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off with Jaime, so that he could play Halo Reach in his room all day.

"Tywin saw right through the ruse. "Have Bernadette bring the boy down here this instant. I'd like to have a word with all of you."

A few minutes later, a rather irritated looking Joffrey marched down the stairs. "Why is Grandfather here? Did he bring me a present? Is it another crossbow?" Jaime had made the mistake of buying Joffrey a crossbow for his nameday and it had recently been confiscated because Joffrey wanted to use Tommen's kitten as target practice. Joffrey's psychiatrist claimed he was "high spirited" and it was "just a phase," and put him on medication, which mostly didn't work.

"Sit down, Joffrey." Tywin ordered. Joffrey obeyed, as Tywin was the only one who could really control him. Once he had Jaime and Cersei's attention, he banged his fist on the table and announced:

"The behavior of this family is unacceptable! You're all a bunch of drunken, spoiled fornicators, and you're jeopardizing my career! Being a Lannister used to mean something! I'm not going to be around to clean up your messes forever, and if I don't get re-elected by next November, I'm leaving everything to your cousin Lancel." Tywin threatened.

"But father, you can't! Cousin Lancel is the worst!" Jaime hated Lancel because he kissed Cersei a few years ago when she got drunk on New Year's Eve. Lancel was known for making questionable choices, such as getting face tattoos, bleaching his hair, joining a cult, and moving to Alabama. He'd sent several creepy letters to Cersei, begging her to join him there, as it was legal to marry your first cousin in Alabama. Jaime was protective of his sister and these letters enraged him. Fortunately, Cersei never entertained Lancel's delusions.

"Lancel needs the money more than any of you." Tywin countered. "He lives in the slums of Alabama and doesn't even own a pair of shoes!"

"But Cersei's pregnant and alone, supporting three kids already! She should get the money!"

"Your sister and the children are provided for in Robert's will."

"Father, most of that money isn't available until Joffrey turns 18!" Cersei interjected.

"Then you'd better not complicate matters any further. I should be going anyway. I need to bail Tyrion out and tell him what I told you. Joffrey, I expect you to have made a full recovery by tomorrow." Joffrey nodded and went back to his room to sulk.

After Tywin left, Cersei turned to Jaime. "Well, this is another fine mess you've got us in!" She snarled at Jaime.

"How is any of this my fault?"

"You're the one who killed Robert! You're the one who opened the window! That boy saw us! What if he wakes and tells his father!?"

"He's been in stasis for three days, if he doesn't wake soon, they'll probably take him off life support like they did for Catelyn's father. You're better off without Robert anyway. Relax, Cersei. You worry too much. It's not good for you or the baby." He reached out and put his hand on her belly. Cersei was only about four months along, but she was so excited to have another of Jaime's babies. All her children were in school, and she was often lonely. And this time, Robert wouldn't be around to drink and sleep around and cause unnecessary stress.

"I'm going to go check on Joff." Cersei decided. "Maybe once he's back at school, you can help me relax." She purred with a wink in his direction before heading upstairs.