This chapter is a case of life imitating art because I wasn't able to order my favorite item from the cheesecake factory on door dash last December, but it was miraculously reinstated within a month. This chapter might explain why. Also, this is a birthday present dedicated to my good friend LionsEscaped. I'm so lucky to be your best fandom friend!

Two weeks after their shopping trip, Cersei's morning sickness was finally over, and her 16 week ultrasound was earlier that week. Dr Qyburn had declared the baby, despite Cersei's advancing age, a perfectly healthy little girl due near the end of May. Since it was almost a week before Christmas, Tywin had reinstated Cersei's staff, and had his lawyers give Agent Sebastian a gag order keeping him from posting the video he took of Jaime and Cersei on YouTube. Joffrey hadn't gone berserk in a while, Myrcella had enrolled in a competition dance team, and Tommen was preoccupied with Boots, Ser Pounce, and Lady Whiskers

Currently, Cersei was sitting on the bed next to Jaime in her pajamas about to order takeout for the family because she'd been craving food from The Cheesecake Factory. Joffrey was playing a game in his room, Myrcella was at ballet practice, and Tommen was downstairs watching Aristocats. This baby seemed to have an appetite for seven and a particular love of carbs. But today, while she scrolled through her phone looking at the menu on the delivery app, she didn't like what she saw.

"Jaime, why can't I order the fried macaroni and cheese here anymore?"

"That menu's so huge you probably scrolled past it." Jaime reasoned.

"I checked at least three times, and it isn't on here. Look for yourself."

Jaime checked, and sure enough the fried macaroni and cheese appetizer was nowhere to be found. He tried to appease Cersei, because he had learned the hard way not to come between his sister and her cravings. "Look, Cersei, they have a fried macaroni and cheese burger over here. And you can get a side of macaroni and cheese, too."

"It's not the same, Jaime. I want fried macaroni and cheese balls with tomato sauce. I was able to order them the other day with no problems."

"I guess they took it off the menu."

"What!? They can't do that when I've been ordering from them three times a week for the last two weeks!" Cersei snapped.

"What am I supposed to do, go to the Cheesecake Factory and tell them to make it for you?"

"That's exactly what I want you to do!" Cersei argued. "You try nine months of agony, back pain, constant nausea and constant hunger simultaneously, then you can start censoring my diet. It's your fault."

"It takes two to make a baby, Cersei. You're just as guilty as I am."

"Well, I'm doing the hard part, so the least you can do is get me the takeout I want."

Jaime had to admit, Cersei had a point. She was doing all the work. This was their fourth time, and it never got any easier, especially with the media circus and the rumors swirling around Robert's death which he was responsible for. This was the least he could do. "Fine, I'll go. Anything else you want from there?"

"Maybe the peanut butter chocolate cake cheesecake. And make sure they don't give me the Hershey bar one instead like they did last time. You know what the kids like."

And so, Jaime drove 45 minutes to the strip mall on the other side of town where the Cheesecake Factory was located. He walked up to the hostess stand to order the takeout personally so he could put in Cersei's request.

"I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve the fried macaroni and cheese appetizer anymore. You can get a fried macaroni and cheese burger or a side of macaroni and cheese."

"Just hear me out. It's not for me, it's for my sister. Her husband's dead and she's pregnant and I'm helping her raise her kids, and if she doesn't get her way, she's going to have a fit."

"I'm sorry, we don't serve it as an appetizer anymore."

"You had it on the menu the other day! Can't you just take the macaroni and cheese balls off the burger and put some tomato sauce on the side?"

"We only serve what's on the menu."

"I'll make it worth your while." Jaime pleaded, flashing a benjamin at the waitress.

"We don't have it on the menu, I'm sorry."

"Can I talk to your manager?"

"I guess, but he's gonna tell you the same thing." said the exasperated waitress.

"The things I do for love," muttered Jaime as the waitress went off and got the manager.

"Listen, buddy, I'm very flattered your sister likes fried macaroni and cheese, but it's been discontinued."

"How much money would it take you to change your mind?" asked Jaime, taking a page out of Tyrion's playbook when someone cut him off at the bar.

"I'm sorry, but we can't do that. If we make an exception for you, we'll have to do it for everyone. Hey, aren't you Senator Lannister's kid? The one who got caught on camera eating his sister out?"

"There was a bee under her skirt!" Jaime protested. "Fine, I'll take two of those macaroni and cheese burgers, a pasta carbonara with shrimp, an order of nachos, an order of kids chicken tenders, a kids cheese pizza, two slices of godiva chocolate cheesecake, a slice of oreo cheesecake, a slice of strawberry cheesecake and two slices of peanut butter cup chocolate cheesecake, not the hershey bar one. And I need an empty container" Jaime had made that mistake before and lived to regret it, and he hoped the extra slice of Cersei's favorite cheesecake would make up for the fact that he didn't bring home what she wanted. Besides, he had a backup plan.

"Next time, I'm taking my business to California Pizza Kitchen." he sneered at the manager.

"For your information, Goldilocks, California Pizza Kitchen took it off their menu too." the manager informed Jaime before walking off to put the order in.

When Jaime got the order, he took the macaroni and cheese balls off the burger and put them in the empty container before throwing out the burgers and going home. He seriously hoped this plan would work.

"Why do these macaroni and cheese balls smell like beef juice?" Cersei asked at dinner when she opened her takeout. "They're cold, too. And where's the red sauce? These are covered in cheese sauce! Did you just take them off the burger and put them in an extra container?"

Jaime sighed in defeat. He knew he was busted.

"Father was right. You really are the stupidest lannister." Cersei spat.

That's how Jaime ended up sleeping on the couch. Cersei ended up calling in a favor from her old sorority sister Taena, who slept with the CEO of the Cheesecake Factory and convinced him to reinstate the fried macaroni and cheese appetizer, as long as the photos she took of him while he was asleep would never see the light of day.