Chapter 41
The Start of the Cat Plan

" I sent Rimmer, the Cat, and the boys up on ahead, back to Red Dwarf." Lister explained. "I figured with Holly auto piloting the transport and me keeping tabs on Ace's evil self the Dwarf would be the safest place for them."

"Safest. Who the hell wanted to be safe monkey?" The Cat seemed to wake from his Lister induced nap and looked around at his surroundings. "No don't tell me I'm back on the big red garbage can. Somebody please shoot me."

Back on Red Dwarf Kryten and Rimmer had come back on line and were being filled in. "But if we have the Cat, isn't our mission here over?" Kryten asked. "Now we can return to the Femverse and return Jim and Bexly to their mother. Er father. Isn't that right mum." Addressing Ace.

"No can do my big metal palomino. It seems that my dubious alter ego is still very much a threat to Cat world and possible much much more. Now that he has the prototype dimension sled and his own drive. He could start by conquering Cat world and spread his evil throughout the cosmos."

"She's right. When I was dealing for the kids I heard their plans. They seem to have a lot of support due this Tabby legend. And that evil Ace dude is one mean son of a bitch." Said Spanners.

"He ain't just talking." The Cat said. "I for one will miss my little red kitten." He thought for a minute, smiled, then added, "and her little red bottom." The Cat's face changed, "But her dad was a real psycho. Jackets that tied behind the back certifiable. And don't let me get started on his smell."

"That's all very well and good, but I believe we still have a good chance."

"How's that?"

"Earlier it was explained to me that Lister here was the Cat people's, well god. Not just a look a like, but their actual god."

"So how does that help us?"

"Well if they're going to have the coronation that will give us only a few hours, but I think we're up to it."

"Up to what you liberated she hulk. I for one have no interest in helping out these uppity cats or help you pick a fight."

"Fine then Arnie old blub, you're counted out. Not to worry lads, he Dave, Spanners, Kryten and I can pull it off without to much of a fuss is how I see it."

"Why do you see it that way me old make up kit?" Rimmer asked.

"Well the way I see it they may have a prince return from a millennium or two ago, but what the smeg, to borrow your term, we've got their god and an understudy to boot. How can we miss?"

"But the Cat is here, Surely without him the coronation can't take place."

"You're right as rain there arnie me lad. I guess we'll just have to return the Cat."
The Cat who had been preening in front of a mirror, and not paying attention, suddenly was. "Excuse me?" he said, his comb frozen in his hair.

"Sure, we'll drop you off and you can make up any old hoopla, they'll be
so delighted that the coronation is still going on, no one will think to question your story."

The Cat had now turned around and faced the group. "Now let me get this straight. You just rescued me, and now you want to send me back? Am
I being difficult or should I be ever so slightly concerned?"

"I thought you wanted to go back? You didn't want to leave earlier," said Lister.

"Sure that was then. This is now. I think they were putting something in my milk," he said as convincing as possible. "Besides, why do I have to go
back?"

"Because my old lemon marang pie," Said Ace as she moved closer to the Cat. "We need to lure out my evil counter part, and stop his evil before it spreads any further. If we don't stop him now and he gets a hold on Cat World, with its resources and his technology... Right at this very minute he's probably figuring out the easiest and fastest way to make his dimension jumping technology more exact and on a wide scale." Ace got even closer to the Cat. "That's what I would do." She said to him, her face close to his. Then she moved away and addressed everyone.

"Come on old friend. We wouldn't put you at risk. We'll have you wired
up so well we could trace you like a panty line on a tall gymnast who favored thongs."

The metaphor seemed to make the Cat's mind to leap to another thought. A thought which made him think of red smile from ear to ear. The Cat's eyebrows did a little dance and then he asked: "When do we launch?"

The scutters did most of the work rounding up the necessary garments and decorations that the posse would need to pull off Ace's plan. To transform Lister into Cloister, holiest of holy among the Cat people. She
hoped this would dislodge the planets' current blind hero worship, long enough for Lister here to talk some common sense into them.
The same cat's that allowed a small band of Outcats, and an evil Ace to corrupt their religion and use it against themselves. Hopefully in the end it would save them. Let's hope the irony isn't lost to future generations.