Diary of the Hidden Time Lord

Day 1 with Crazy Maniac

Hello, Rose! I've decided to talk to you…well,myself really, to save me from listening to the rambling mad man in front of me, and I'm hoping you'll help keep me from doing something stupid; stupid sounds good about now. -sigh-

One time I was kept in an oubliette on Maskar 4 as my third self for 2 days. No fun, and slugs taste awful. Gah, I can still remember the taste, worse even than pears! Now, that's the real burden of the Time Lords; taste memory. Well, anyway I spent the entire time amusing myself by having internal conversations with my first self; he was quite annoyed.

I've discovered I can hide a portion of my waking mind from the collar and torc. Hooray! It's tenuous, and I have to work very hard to keep it from the collar, but I should be fine as long as I don't let anything make me angry. That's the hard part; very hard.

Ever since letting me wake up again, I've been tasked with trying to fix this lump he calls a ship, or playing step and fetch-it for the Crazy Maniac. I'm supposed to fix a bloody broken space ship with no impulse stabilisers and hardly enough power in the inertial dampeners to keep us from becoming bug smears every time we change direction, and then I'm supposed to fix it WHILE WE'RE IN SPACE!? Moron.

Of course, I did scare him when I initially awoke all Oncoming Storm, but I didn't have a chance to get to the good part before his little electronic pets had me out cold. Quite clever really, combining a Huduct slave torc and a 51st Century sex collar. Annoyingly, this combination does keep my telepathy locked up. I would almost consider it brilliant, except that I'm here, and I'm going to escape. Just you wait and see you weird bugger.

The swearing! I use colourful language, but where no one can hear me except the TARDIS, who's a little prim, herself. This guy makes my ears bleed. If I hear one more….no no no, don't get excited now, this is all I've got and I can't risk the electronics finding it. Did he kiss his grandmother with that mouth? Really?! Rose, you'd have smacked him into next Tuesday already. I am so glad you aren't here, though I wish I knew where you were, your message didn't say.

Rose, Rose, Rose, what am I ever going to do with you. I can think of several perfectly brilliant things to do to...Ow! What was that for you cheeky…deep breath, deep breaths. OOOhhhhh! Put my sonic down; it isn't a toy! Yuck, Rose, don't look.

Huducts, Huducts….They sound so familiar…..I know I have more information in this big brain somewhere. Dig, dig...dig, dig, dig! Ha! I am sooo clever! Here it is. Okaayy, so neither they nor the Anubians were actually telepathic, not even particularly sensitive. Let's see, what else...Oh yes! Hormonal controls! Gotchya! The torc reads chemical changes in the blood and skin. No wonder the cursed thing itches. I've got little alien feelers in my head, ew.

Now that changes things, as far as the torc is concerned, easy-peesey. This idgit has no idea that this torc is thousands of years old. Molto bene! I can get out of it. The collar on the other hand is much higher-tech, far newer, and designed with telepathy in mind, which would be why I can't find our 'link'.

Hit me one more time, you arse, and I'll... OWW! Gah….sorry...sorry...sorry...no not again, no never, of course, whatever you want, no never again…

Day 2 with Crazy Maniac

Almost to Mars Rose, and I might just have figured out how to get around the collar. It helps that the Crazy Maniac needs to sleep; even more so since he's injured. It must be bad, I started smelling it last night. Those casts are only meant to be on a few hours, then your supposed to get medical treatment. He's really driving me barmy; keeps going on deliriously about some dead mate. Luckily he hasn't asked my name. He'd think I'd help, ha! Not likely as this point. At least I've been able to get the food replicator to work. A bunch of buttons were smashed, but at least it gives me nutrient bars, and would you believe it they're banana!

Mars is much closer, he turned us around this morning, and we've begun decelerating. I think we're going to crash. I've been trying to get the inertial dampeners working more efficiently, but the energy transference points are completely fried, and he only lets me work when he's awake. Whether he has spares or not is moot, since the hatch to replace them is OUTSIDE. Moron!

Right, the collar; you'd be particularly impressed with how clever I am on this one, Rose. Now lucky for me, I'm a Time Lord with an enormous brain, which makes me not only brilliant, but special. I've set up partitions; one for the collar, and one for the torc. It isn't quite full proof, yet. I only figured out I could do it 3 hours and 46 minutes ago. I'm currently creating a 2 hour loop of meek obedience for the collar to pay attention to. The torc, was easy. I've been keeping it happy since I figured out the hormone thing yesterday; impressive, me.

Oh Rose, I'll be free of this soon. Should have kissed you years ago. God I was stupid.

Look, Rose…he's waking up again….oh are you out of pains meds...poor thing…poor crazy thing. Wish you would shut up about this dead friend of yours...geez! Good thing you're projecting loud enough for the mining crew on Deimos to hear you. You still think you have me. Well, you don't have me. I have me, and...

What was that? What did you just say or think or whatever? —Sontarans?—What?!—Chelsea 426 go BOOM!-MATE! MY MATE IS DEAD?!YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT ROSE—ROSE! OH,GOD! I WILL END YOU! THIS WILL BE OVER. YOU HEAR ME—OVER! OVER! OVER! AHHHHHHhhhhhhhh—

Day 3 with Crazy Maniac

Oh Rose, it seems stupid to keep talking to you, but I can't seem to help it. Anyway, we've crashed. I don't care; knew we would. We've been here for hours, so I can only assume we won't blow up…bugger it all. I can't see much. I knew the inertial dampeners would fail on reentry. I wanted to kill him. I didn't though; he's too pathetic to kill. I strapped him to his seat, a gibbering mess. The infection in his leg has made him even crazier. I was able to rip the torc's control unit off his head while he was thrashing around. Unfortunately, I should have taken the torc off myself first. The feedback knocked me for a loop for 89 precious seconds. I almost didn't make it to the still locked down cryo-pod. It had leaked all it gas out in the last three days, but it still locked closed. I've no idea how much oxygen I have or are getting. My loop on the collar is working…more or less…not that it matters….you aren't there to reach for.

Everything I should have said to you; everything I should have done. Rose, I know you wouldn't forgive me if I die now; nope, no forgiving. Wait, can't forgive. Getting tired. Low on oxygen….just let me die. No Rose, no life. Need you, Rose. Must find...oh Rose. ROSE!…ROSE!…rose...ro