Chapter 48
Ace vs Ace in Space

Tithered by an incredibly thin tither, to a relatively small satellite, as far as satellites go, five miles above Cat World's equator, a charred blackened craft hovered weightless above the unsuspecting world. So small are they that below all are unaware of the evil which looms over their unexpecting heads.
A Television satellite, controlled by a madman. What could be more insidiously evil? One might ponder.

With the aid of this metallic monstrosity, the same lies could be spread throughout Cat world virtually instantaneously. Ace of black hearts Rimmer would soon use this fiendish device to gain the trust of the Cat race. Within months he would turn them into soldiers of evil for his own sinister purposes.

"Sixteen minutes to show time," he read aloud from his ships console. It was at this time he noted the discrepancy on his monitors, but ignored it all the same.

Four minutes later he had started to grow impatient. He had expecting something, but so far nothing. Adjusting his position for the seventh time he caught a glimmer of light that should have not been where it was.
Flipping an illuminated switch on the console the ship's canopy unsealed and started to rise. The atmosphere within his ship silently hissed out into space, and Ace soon found himself approaching the small satellite making sure to keep the device between, himself and the gleam. Cautiously moving forward Ace controlled his packs thrust with his left hand as his right moved towards the villain's hip. And holster.

In orbit around Cat world two opposing forces were about to collide, for
a second time. The first time our heroine had fallen dead to the greater evil. If she falls this time, things will become worse. Much worse.

Aboard Red Dwarf a small electronic caterpillar like creature unsuitably named the electro- fish was about to have its first decent meal in a long time. Inches away from Arnold J. Rimmer's most prized possession, his light bee, soft, the electro-fish opened its small mouth into an impossibly
large mouth. With an even more amount of, dare we say it? We dare; Impossible teeth. All gleaming and razor sharp anticipating ripping through the bee's flimsy housing. Revealing its vulnerable interior. Then finally feeding.

Or at least this is what Rimmer told himself. Truth to tell he hadn't been able to look in the direction of the electro-fish since he first saw it. He couldn't risk losing consciousness.

So Rimmer had spent the last twenty minutes trying to act as casual as possible, without looking in the direction of the fish. Consequently noting various things in his quarters. Once again he yelled out, "Holly." But to no avail, the wall monitor remained black.

What went through Rimmer's mind now was that he was about to bite it, again. For the second time in two years. What unbelievable luck. And the thing that made it more the worse was that he hated this room.
As he was contemplating all the rooms he had ever been forced to endure
he realized this one ranked as possibly the lowest. It was small, it was dirty, its was dreary and it smelled like Jim and Bexley's diaper pail.

"If I ever manage to come out of this dead, and in one piece, I'm moving into better quarters." He thought to himself. Fear hovering all about he was contemplating all the rooms on the ship which he could inhabit. Then he felt it.

At first it wasn't big. Just a sort of tingle from the center of his being. Then it seemed to spread through him, little by little. When he finally realized what was happening he knew he must dare another look in the direction of the parasite. Rimmer steeled himself, his face filled with twisted fear he slowly craned it in the direction of his would be devourer.

When he did, he wished he hadn't. The electro-fish had built a small cocoon around itself, and now that it was comfortable, it was ready to feed. Slowly
drawing out energy from Rimmer's light bee the cocoon glowed with a metallic blue light. And consequently Rimmer himself had started to become transparent. He screamed one word:
"Hooooooolllllyyyyyyyy!"

Back on Cat World in the Cargo hold of Starbug Three, three viewers
noticed a certain amount of interference with the video signal they were receiving. At first there was a little snow. Then the snow would disappear
and the image would acquire a ghost, haunting the image and viewers alike.

"Holly?" Lister yelled. "What's wrong with the picture man?"

"I think it's started." Answered Spanners. "Call the cockpit, see if their receiving it too." He looked at Dave, "Let's make sure it's not some local interference. I'd hate to drop in early."
Lister nodded in agreement.

Slowly emerging from the escape pod she borrowed, Ace, who in her hard light form didn't require a space suit but wore one none the less, started for the satellite. When she reached it she looked for an access panel, but soon discovered it was on the opposite side. The side on which her malevolent alternative version most assuredly occupied.

Seemingly. Her plan was to disable the satellite and be off for Red Dwarf before she was discovered and drawn into a battle with her doppleganger. Time was now of the essence because she now knew that the Evil Ace had already been aboard Red Dwarf. And that it may already be too late to save Arnold Rimmer, her other double, with which she shared even less with.
Grabbing hold of the silvery cylindrical device she moved crab like over it, mimicking the objects slow rotation, though in the opposite direction, searching for an access panel. This was how the Ace of Black Hearts Rimmer found her. With her golden back silhouetted against the silver of the satellite.

"Almost made to order," he said as he slipped the safety catch on his laser pistol. Taking aim through his helmet, with one eye cocked against the pistol's sight, he drew a bead on the very center of her back. Smiled.
Then squeezed the trigger.

"No, I'm receiving it too," answered Kryten, his face super deformed within the cargo bay's small monitor. "Although I can't pinpoint it's origin."

"What's Ace think of it?" Asked Spanners.

"Mrs. Ace mum available not at the present moment Mr. Spanners Sir."

"What do you mean she's not available," snapped Lister. "She's a hologram. How can she not be available?"

"Well sir, to put it exact, she's not presently on the ship."

"Not presently on the ship?" Spanners looked at Lister as he said it.
Kryten quickly explained about the experiment and played the note. He said he assumed that the transmission interference was indeed due to Mrs. Ace mum's interference.

"Lister can you get a reading on either Ace or the escape pod?" Spanners questioned.

"Nothing in range Mr. Lister Sir."

"I don't like this." Said Spanners.

"Come on don't sweat it. If Ace has converted her light bee into a hard light bee, and has the element of surprise on her side." Spanners paused: What could stop her?"

"I guess your right. Ace is doing her part." Lister picked up his golden donut hat and place it on his head. "And it's about time I did mine.

"Well then, if you're up to it, let's get Cinderella to the ball."

"Besides it's Ace. What could happen?"

Passing within inches of Arnie's helmet and consequently the satellite which she was currently dancing with, the shot exploded meters away in a red and yellow fiery burst.

"The explosion seemed too large for a hand weapon," she thought. But not for a exploding escape pod. Unable to verify this due to more pressing matters at hand, she assumed she'd have to manage a ride home on her own.

"Ma'am would you kindly take your golden butt off my rather expensive entertainment center." The voice carried across the vacuums of space in the form of radio waves, and broadcast out of Arnie's helmet speaker.

"Can't do that my old adversary. You should know better."

"That last shot was meant as a warning. Now get off the machinery," said the evil Ace who was between the satellite and his craft.
Ace still crabbed her way slowly across the rotating cylinder of death,
now closer than ever to her goal.

"Come on old lemon tart, I think I've a pretty good handle on your kind and you don't seem like one to fire warning shots. Unless of course you want me taken alive for some nefarious scheme." She smiled ever so slightly knowing it would be wasted. "Either way handsome, if you want me, you gotta come and get me."

Ace was on Ace as soon as he could be. Both knowing full well that out here in the cold vacuum of space victory for one most likely meant a quick and sloppy death for the other.
Hitting the forward thrust button on his jet pack Ace blasted towards his double traveling at reckless speed. That is reckless for anyone who wasn't Ace Rimmer.

His target, still clinging to the slow rotating satellite had finally convinced the recently discovered access panel to come loose. Holding on with one hand she aimed, and throwing it not unlike a ninja throwing star,
knew it would hit its mark, and went back to work.
The flat panel seemed to moved in slow motion and was more like a stationary object, in regard to the oncoming body. Although not causing any damage to his pack the projectile struck the acceleration control, and pushed its limit. The dark Ace silently blasted out of control, past Ace and the satellite.

When Ace did finally manage to regain control of his projection, he was almost two miles from the other Ace and more importantly, his craft. He immediately set out to rectify this situation.

When he appeared on the scene again, his adversary was again crab like on the satellite, now seemingly studying its interior. Without a warning shot this time Ace hit his opponent full on, his jet pack on half speed, knocked her clear of the hardware, and now both were hurtling towards Ace's craft.
Ace realized her adversary's plan was to crush her between his shoulder, which currently rested on her ribcage, and his relatively large and definite stationary ship. Would she remain conscience through that with her new hard light body? She thought. If she didn't she and all below would be doomed.

Twisting herself to distract, her hand snaked along her body, found the button it was looking for and depressed it.

Her own jet pack fired up and both were thrown off their current course and more or less towards the planet below. Trying to struggle free, while at the same time trying to hold on, both groped at the other. Which seemed a lot like playing with themselves. But not as much fun.

Kicking free of a choke hold that he was in and managing a little breathing room he said: "So you seemed to have taken care of that little problem . Glad to see all worked out ." Then he smiled and unbenounced depressed a button of his own.

"Come a little closer you black hearted fiend, and I'll show you
how glad I am that it worked out." She teased.

All too quickly Ace made for his ship. He had waited until he was in position before he broke her clutch. Blinded her with a flash from his jet pack and was off. In her new form she was too much for him, and this pleased him a great deal. For he had plans for that hard body of hers.

Ace was climbing into his cockpit before she could see again. Having no choice, she made a run for it. Maneuvered herself around the satellite she
quickly noted her handy work, and concentrated on drawing Ace away from it. Feeling confident that the satellite was in working order, she smiled a small smile to herself.