Chapter 9 - Breaking Hearts and Regrets
[Misaki POV]
Did that just happen? My Tsubasa with little old Mikan, what the Hell! That is absurd, He is supposed to love me and me alone. I think to myself exiting out from the diner hall, walking up to the tree that is know as the 'shadow's hideout' and I call out to him.
"Tsubasa!" I say his name but there is no reply.
Tsubasa doesn't hear me so I use my doppelganger alice and one of my clones climb up the tree and pushes him out of it. Screaming in surprise he falls to the ground with a loud thud. Tsubasa sends a glare to me but I am unaffected and I pull him up by his collar.
"Ow, Misaki that hurt you know! What the hell is it, I have a date in five minutes so make it quick." He says leaning against the tree, looking at me with an impatient look. I decide to tease him to quench my jealousy of Mikan.
"Aw, my little Tsubasa is going on a date with his Kohai. How cute that is! Being alone with Mikan…..hm…..don't do anything you might regret." I say and he begins to blush profusely. Cute~.
I can't stop myself anymore and I kiss him. He tries to pull back but I pin him there letting my desires take over.
[Tsubasa POV] [In The Forest]
I begin to blush hard at the thought of being alone with Mikan. I can do whatever I want, that is only if Mikan allows it that is. I see Misaki is only a inch away from my face and she pinned me to the tree, preventing my escape.
Misaki presses her lips against mine and I panic. My eyes widened and tried to push her away but it was futile. I heard footsteps near and I turn my head to the noise…...It was Mikan….oh no….
When she saw me and Misaki she froze.
"What…..is…..going…..on…?" She asks with wide eyes and Misaki doesn't listen to her. More like ignored her in a sense. Misaki finally releases me, gasping for air, we pant unable to answer until Misaki speaks up.
"Well Mikan, it seems that Tsubasa doesn't want a immature 13-year old he came to me and I happily obliged to his request. So…..sorry…." Misaki says sorry but it doesn't sound sincere at all. That's not what happened at all Mikan! Don't fall for her trick, its a trap to break us up.
"Is that true….Tsubasa-senpai….." She asks me, her eyes shine with obvious hurt and sorrow. I can't seem to say anything and the only thing I could do is just stare at her in wonder.
Tears begin to fall out of her eyes and a river pours down her soft, delicate cheeks. The picnic basket she was once holding fell out of her hands and dropped to the ground, leaving it abandoned and alone just like how I bet Mikan is feeling right now.
Mikan runs off and I push Misaki off of me and chase her deep into the forest. The moon being my only light to guide me through the dark.
I hear a loud thud and I move towards the sound. Traveling farther East I finally get close enough to hear the rustling noise nearby the tree. There was a tree by a cliff and laying next to it was Mikan…...
[Mikan POV]
"I see how it is now, I shall be going now. I hope you two are happy together. Soraja sayonara." I say running away from the two.
Tsubasa calls out to me but I ignore it and keep running. I trip on a root and I fall getting a big gash on my arms and legs. I limp away not trying to feel anything, like I don't feel the pain inside my heart. I hear someone come closer and closer, I know it's him but I am too afraid to face him so I keep backing up until…..
I feel the ground leave me and I am slowly falling to my death. I feel a warm hand clasp onto mine and pull me upwards. I am pulled into a warm defined chest and I recognize that smell, the smell that intoxicated me into his love spell. I feel tears swell up into my eyes and I cry out all of my frustration and sorrow into his shirt which is now I might add is wet, and it's all his fault.
The image of Misaki and Tsubasa kissing broke my heart. The venomous words that came from Misaki's mouth were like a poison that was slowly sinking in. I ran feeling broken, cold, and alone escaping from the maybe false truth. My whole body was engulfed in Tsubasa and it left me numb, the feeling of love that had taken over my heart left my soul.
Tsubasa lifted my chin for me to look up at him. His dark blue eyes shining from the moonlight made me stare deep into them.
"Mikan….what Misaki said was false. I love you and you alone so, please don't believe in her words." He says and he gives me a pleading look. Should I believe him even though the evidence was very evident to me.
"Why should I believe you? So you can just go and cheat on me!" I say my anger getting the best of me. How can he just think that I can believe him like that and the truth was right in front of my eyes. I push out of his embrace and ran again passing by Misaki who was smirking evilly. As I passed by her it went in slow motion..
"Checkmate." Misaki murmurs as I pass by her and her words were pretty clear to me. I don't look back and I run out of the forest and into my room.
[Tsubasa POV] [Still In The Forest]
Why won't she believe me? Oh I know why, she saw you her boyfriend and her friend kiss when I was supposed to be on a date with her right now. Nice going Tsubasa you broke her heart. You could've stopped Misaki by using your alice….idiot…. She scared me when she fell of that cliff, I felt my heart stop when she did. How can I get you to understand the way how I feel for you? The hurt I saw spreading through your eyes made me want to hold you tight and never let you go.
"Great job Tsubasa you hurt her feelings. Go figure." Misaki says coming out from hiding.
I felt anger well up in my soul and I hit the nearest tree which was right next to Misaki's head. Her eyes widened from shock and she looks scared.
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU HURT MIKAN AND COULD HAVE RUINED OUR RELATIONSHIP. I HOLD MIKAN DEAREST TO MY HEART AND NO MATTER WHAT YOU TRY TO DO MY LOVE FOR HER WILL NOT DIE OR WAVER. YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO MIKAN!" I say to her and she nods in agreement.
"But I love you Tsubasa! Please accept my love for you. I thought I was the one you gave your heart to." She says to me, tears dripping out of her eyes but it's not going to happen.
"You never had it from the start. It was Mikan who took it from the first time we met." I say coldly to her and Misaki drops down to her knees, her body racked with sobs. I walk away from her despite her protests and cries. I need time to think…..to cool off a bit…..
I make it to my room and I plop down onto my bed and put my hands behind my head.
"*Sigh* I hope Mikan won't be too mad at me." I say thinking about how to persuade her that it was a mistake. I stare at the moon to enveloped in my own thoughts, not sleepy I just stare up at it until the sun takes over in the sky.
[Mikan's POV]
I run to the Hana Hime Den instead of my room. Along the way, Hotaru catches me. Great, how great. I absolutely need someone to see me in my tear-streaked glory.
She abruptly catches me by my sleeve of my kimono and yanks me to see my tear-streaked face. Her bright purple orbs become as big as saucers when she sees me crying.
"What happened?" she asked, anger burning in her eyes.
"I saw Tsubasa-senpai and Misaki-senpai kissing. Misaki senpai is trying very hard to take senpai away from me," I told her through telepathy.
Her hand which was holding a rock from throwing rocks around, turned into powder. She wasn't angry, oh no, she was furious.
"Just when I thought she wasn't a bitch," she mumbled colorful language underneath her breath.
Looking at me with a swift glance, she let her shoulders droop, and said, "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up. You just ate, but I will make you eat something when we get to the Hana Hime Den." Hotaru says dragging me away and I let her without protest.
I meekly nodded to her order and unlike normal times, I do not have the energy to go against her. I don't have any energy for life.
Pulling me to my room where I shared with mom, she looked at me with worried eyes when she saw my tear-streaked face.
Hotaru noticed the worry on mom's face and said, "Long story. She doesn't have the energy and confidence to tell you right now, Yukihira-san. I am going to make sure she gets cleaned up, eats something, and gets some sleep with me in my dorm, because she is so paralyzed."
Mom nodded and brought out a dark blue kimono. The exact shade of his eyes… my eyes start to get drowned in my tears once more.
I shake my head and say, "No, give me a turquoise one."
"But dark blue is your favorite," mom sends me a sad glance.
"Not now," I added bitterly.
She nods again and brings out a pure turquoise one an I accept it. Hotaru was worried because I now have a change of interest in color preference. She sees right through me and knows I love deep blue, but wearing that color will only hurt me because it is the color of his eyes.
Hotaru and I teleport to the front of her room, and I emotionlessly look at the door. I look at her with blank eyes and she looked at me with confused eyes.
"Aren't you going to unlock your room?" I ask, dryly.
"Oh! Yeah, sorry about that," she casted a worried glance at me before letting me in.
I came in and set my change of clothing down, and pinned my Special Star pin on the sleeve of my turquoise kimono.
"When did you get promoted?" Hotaru smiled at me pointing at the pin.
"Today," I said in a flat tone.
Her smile vanishes, and she looks sadly at me, but says, "Oh."
I nod and turn around and face her bathroom. Looking over my shoulder I ask her, "Do you mind me using your shower? I think I smell of the woods."
She says, "Yeah, sure! Let me get you a towel," she says and fetches a white towel for me to use.
"Here you go," she says.
"Thank you," I say in a monotone voice, to the point that I sound like a robot.
She casts me another worried glance but goes out the door, and closes it behind her. I undress and pop myself in the shower. When I turn on the shower and set the knob to hot, cold water pierced my skin, but I didn't jump. I embraced the sharp pain and felt relaxed after a while.
I, sad to say, loved the pain. I loved the pain of the cold water biting my skin. It washed away my sadness and hurt and betrayal. I felt hurt when they kissed, and stomped when Tsubasa senpai did nothing about it. How could he leave me broken like this? He just said he loved me and then stabs me in the back with my 'supposed friend' Misaki making out with him in front of me.
I wondered if he ever loved me from the start. I cleaned my self after soaping my body down, and dried my hair and combed my hair gently and patiently, letting my soft auburn waves fall in a glossy curtain. I combed down my bangs and admired how immaculate they were.
I came out and, with the towel wrapped around me, I took my kimono back inside and changed into the turquoise one, and perfectly tied on the traditional dress.
I looked at my doll face, and my emotionless eyes. I became this from the AAO and have the ability to mask myself and kind of have a cold personality every day to day, but I became even harder when senpai broke my heart. Because when the one I love breaks my heart, there is nothing else in the world I can feel. My heart and soul are numb from the merciless pain that struck upon me, leaving me a lonely, empty-hearted person.
Just the pain of being backstabbed. The poisonous venom tainted my heart leaving me dead inside and out.
And the emotional pain hurts far worse than the real physical pain.
Opening the door to Hotaru's bedroom, I fold my butterfly kimono neatly and fold the dirty socks in. Taking off my sandals, I slip in the bed next to Hotaru, and stare at her worried amethyst eyes with my emotionless ones.
She reaches for my face, and softly caresses it. Though it doesn't take my pain away, it comforts me. It lets me know that I will be okay in the end.
"Mikan, what happened?" she softly asked me.
"When they kissed, Misaki said, to sum it all up, that Tsubasa senpai didn't want an immature thirteen year old like me. When senpai didn't say anything, I felt so terrible. Like they were right, maybe we weren't meant to be in the end after all. And his silence told me that he agreed with Misaki senpai, it took my joy away. The thing that gets to me is that I think that Misaki planned all of this." I emotionlessly said, though tears were silently pouring down.
Hotaru turned worried as she enveloped me in a hug, and she whispered, "I am sure he still loves you. Take Ruka as an example. Girls try to corner him and kiss him. They then tell me straight in the face that Ruka never wanted a robot like girlfirend in the first place, but I never believe them, because he always says he loves me and never looks at any other girl than me. I know that shadow freak loves you. He was obviously shocked and silently angered by the tremendous change of events of that stupid confession, that he had no air to speak," she assured me, but in the end my hope for what she said to be true is lost. Hotaru doesn't understand, she thinks she does but in reality she doesn't. She didn't see the reactions I got from two.
I look at her sadly, but she looks at me and says, "Trust me. I promise you that he loves you. If he voluntarily kisses her, then he doesn't love you. Understand that you need to just let time heal all wounds. I know that you might not be believing me, but this happened between me and Ruka so many times and so many times our relationship was on the last thread. I will be there with you to help you, but know that I will not let you be unhappy while I am happy. Give Tsubasa another chance, okay? Besides if he doesn't love you the way that you do then I will just have to personally kill him with my baka gun and my new torture inventions, I would really like to try them out on somebody someday and I think that Tsubasa might be my new test subject if he really doesn't love you." Hotaru says her eyes shining from the thought of her work being tested.
I nod, feeling my heart lighten up a little bit. A glimmer of hope shines into my eyes and Hotaru sighs from relief that her words reached me.
Smirking, she said, "What? I don't get a hug?"
Laughing I smile at her and give her a hug, like we always do.
"There's my Mikan I know, welcome back." Hotaru smiled.
I nodded, weary of today's events. I hope this works out like I want it to. I wonder, at the back of my head if he really loves me or if this was a slow torture game.
But I allow my head to sink onto her shoulder as we fall asleep in our hug, letting a veil of sleep take over us.
I wonder what will happen tomorrow?
xxx
Immense thanks to Eri imouto chan, for doing a terrific start to the chapter. There will be a sequel, so stay tuned!
And please leave good reviews! Eri-chan is a talented writer, but needs encouragement because this amazing plotline was her idea. I want her to feel appreciated because she lets me do the honors of owning the story under my username.
And do not PM me or animewriter808p (Eri-chan) into writing fanfics with dirty explicit content, and you very well know what I am talking about.