Chapter 44: Duty Tonight

"Chief Torres." Derek found her through the crowd. She was an ally for Derek in the squadron.

"Yes?" She turned around from grabbing a soda.

"About tonight. I am new here and curious what the protocol was for staying in town." Derek appeared calm on the outside, but inside, he couldn't even think about how nervous he was.

"We are still discussing it. Bailey will have a decision soon for you. They have decided you could stay out until midnight at the least." Callie explained.

Derek processed this and felt a little less anxious. At least he would get to see her, even if it was for a short time. "Thanks Chief."

"Torres, we need you over here." Miranda Bailey said for her to join the group of Chiefs.

"Probably the decision. I will come and let you know, and I am sure Yang and Sloan will want to know." She smirked.

"Oh." Derek realized she knew there was something.

She leaned in and whispered, "Yeah, I know, I am pretty close to Yang, but we don't share that with everyone."

Derek respected Torres from the first time he met her, "Gotcha." He watched her walk off to congregate with the others chiefs.

Derek walked back over to Cristina and Mark hearing his cell buzz with a text. It was from Meredith giving him the information he needed. A second text came in and he noticed it was a multimedia text. The second he loaded his eyes popped out of his head – a picture of Meredith lying on the bed smiling with her head splayed around the pillow. The picture showed down to her abdomen, with no clothes covering any part of her.

"What is it?" Mark asked seeing Derek's mouth nearly on the ground.

"Oh, nothing. Just information." Derek stuttered, information that his woman is lying nude in the bed waiting for him.

"Our shit is finally here." Cristina said grabbing hers.

"Good news." Callie walked up.

"Thank god." Derek muttered to himself before turning around.

"Well, good news for two of you." Callie explained.

"What?" Derek asked.

"It looks like you are on duty tonight, Shepherd."

"What the fuck. I was not on the schedule for tonight." Derek immediately became pissed.

"You are now. We were expecting to pull out in a few hours, not have to have extra people on duty, and you are up, but you two are free to go." Callie said to Mark and Cristina as she turned around to walk off.

"Fuck." Derek said looking down with his hands on his hips. He couldn't believe this was happening to him.

"Derek." Mark tried to remind him where they were at before he showed himself. He knew Derek had the potential to get pissed very quickly and this was not a time for that.

"I need to…" Derek looked to Mark.

Mark looked to Cristina, "We will be right back. If our stuff comes out . . ."

"I will get it." Cristina rolled her eyes.

Mark led the way outside away from any crowd. Mark sighed when they came to a standstill thinking the entire time he would not want to be in this situation. In the very short time, he considered quickly that he could take Derek's duty, "You know I would take your duty, but…"

Derek looked up with hopeful eyes, but he was smart and quickly realized, "I should call Meredith." He was crushed, but he couldn't raise any suspicion.

"I will head in." Mark dropped his head and walked back in.

Derek did not want to make this phone call, one heart already crushed and the other would soon be. He dialed the familiar number named, "M" just in case someone got his phone and was looking through.

"I didn't expect to hear from you, you got my texts right?" She lowered her voice to a sexy grumble about the text.

This tore through his heart, "I did. I really…" Derek inhaled slowly. He didn't know how to say it.

"Derek. What's wrong?" Meredith could hear it in his voice, something was definitely wrong.

He exhaled, "I have no idea how to say this, but I am just going to say it. I have duty tonight."

Before he could say anything else, she immediately cut in, "No. You can't. I can get you out of it; just let me make a phone call. I will call you right…"

Before she could even get 'back' out, he piped up, "Meredith, stop." He knew she was reacting with the news with the same gut instinct he had. To get to her.

"You weren't on the schedule though. I don't understand." She stated.

"No, we were supposed to be pulling out tonight. We aren't until sometime tomorrow, they are saying early. I am up if you look at it that way. Mark would have taken it, but we can't, not right now." Derek said the last sentence very hesitantly almost wanting to take the chance. But, he had no good reason to get out of it. If he told them he had people in town he wanted to see, they would ask who and where he would be staying. It was just too risky, and they both knew it.

Meredith didn't know what to say, she was heartbroken and to say she wasn't wouldn't be fair to either of them. She tried to get the words to come but instead she could feel tears pooling in the corner of her yes. She wasn't that girl, but in this moment, she was running on raw emotion. She took a deep breath, "I wish I could say I didn't want to see you, that I am not disappointed. But, it wouldn't be true." There was no way around, it was what happened in the military.

Derek just closed his eyes thinking about her. He just wanted to be near her, touch her, feel her, but, most importantly, talk and laugh with her. "Me too. I wanted to be with you tonight more than anything. Maybe this is for the best; it would have been hard to let you go in the morning. I am not sure I could do it."

They could hear the sheer pain in the other's voice. Meredith jokingly started shaking her head and almost in a mocking tone, "I sometimes wonder why I choose this career. This is one of those times. The bullshit. In any other career, this would not be so fucking difficult."

"Mer." Derek was having a hard time hearing this from her.

Meredith was trying hard to keep the tears in and currently was succeeding. She was raised to be tough, and this career enabled that behavior. Right now, she wasn't feeling so tough.

The line stayed silent for what seemed like minutes, but in reality was probably seconds.

"You need to go and get settled on the boat before they release the fucking kids who have to have people watch them because they will do stupid shit." Meredith knew this was the reason they had to pull more for duty tonight, to walk around the docks, make sure there were no fights or problems, and lastly, get them back on the boat in one piece, usually hung-over. The lower enlisted ranks were not always dependable. This wasn't true for all and even most of them, but the few ruin it for everyone. That is the way of life.

"I will be thinking of you. You know that." He smiled slightly and added, "I always think of you."

This warmed Meredith's heart slightly, "I do too. I... um..." She didn't know what she was going to say.

"What?"

"I can't wait until we can be Derek and Meredith. Not AT1 Shepherd and Lieutenant Commander Grey." She couldn't believe she was at this point, but she wanted to be just Derek and Meredith, would that ever happen? Would the forces ever allow it?