Chapter 4
X-mas in Deep Space

Christmas day three million days into deep space and Out of Time.

"Don't you remember sir?" Kryten looked at Lister.

"That was the day we were attacked by the Pan Dimensional creature from the Maggidon system."

"What is it Kryten?" Lister asked. Referring to a large green translucent section of space which was directly in their path.

"I'm not sure. Scanners indicate that it is composed entirely of liquid
but it also scans as a life form. It'll take a few minutes to run it through the computer and get a full analysis

"A life form that big? In Space? Is that really possible?" Rimmer asked no one in particular.

"It doesn't smell alive." The Cat sniffing. "It smells like, like pond water.

"Range one thousand G Clicks and closing. Cat make a wide as possible birth. We want to give it as much room as we can," said Lister looking at his monitor.

"Wait! Now where the smeg did it go? It's gone," shouted Lister. "Does anyone else still have a fix on it?"

"It just vanished, it was on the scope one second then gone the next. I don't like the looks of this." Rimmer hoped the trembling in his heart couldn't be detected through his voice.

"Full analysis in now sir. It seems to be composed of a mixture of simple amino acids, water, liquid carbon and liquid nitrogen. And three unknown elements. Damn cheap Martian Powered Pack Scanners." Kryten slapped the scanner with his free hand.

"The last time that thing said there was an unknown element," chimed the Cat "It turned out to be one of Listers old socks that had escaped."

"But it did register as a new life form," rebutted Kryten.

"Range 500 G Clicks from it's last noted position. Advice Kryten?"

"Suggest we keep on going at our present speed and course. If the creature is indeed Pan Dimensional, as I'm guessing it is, it can
jump from dimension to dimension at will. In which case it might jump back to the same spot or as near an approximation as it can sir."

"Your saying that that thing whatever it was out there, may suddenly come back. Pop up in our dimension whenever or wherever it wants to."

"Precisely sir. And if that is indeed the case then remaining at our present course we should be safe from the creature and it's Dimensional Pop factor or Boom."

"Dimensional Boom What the hell is that?" Questioned the Cat"

"Just the same as an atmosphere bearing planet will suffer a sonic boom when the speed of sound is broken. The general area around a dimensional jump could indeed cause, what the Cat called, a Dimensional Boom"

"I'm reading you there Krytis. Remember way back on Red
Dwarf the future Echoes, when we broke light speed? I guess in a way the future echoes were light booms. The way the natural physical laws are effected by breaking the light barrier."

"Precisely. Are you sure you really attended art college sir?"

"Then how come we didn't have any of these so called Dimensional Booms when that reject from a gay pride parade came and marched in on our pretty
straight lives?" Interjected Rimmer.

"Perhaps that's was something one of the engineers worked out when they built Ace's ship," Lister answered, not knowing why he said what he said.

''What the hell are you talking about? I remember a pretty big boom when we met golf post head's better self," Shouted the Cat. "It cost me one of my all time favorite suits. Not to mention my leg."

"Perhaps that was the boom, or how Ace's ship carried off the Dimensional Boom Sir," interjected Kryten.

But this question forced the mechanoid to contemplate: was the locking in on something in the other dimension the boom or was it the effect? Perhaps something else was the effect. Kryten was dragged out of his thoughts by Rimmer's trembling voice

"I got another energy reading. Hold tight, it's a surge and a big one!"
That particular Starbug crew ceased to exist for three nano seconds.
The effect would not be felt until it was too late.

"Not unlike an amoeba the pan dimensional liquid creature from the Maggidon Cluster hunts it's prey in a rather curious way." Kryten started. "By feeling for variations in the electromagnetic field in the area immediately surrounding it's enormous bulk. Once discovering an anomaly the creature moves ever closer to it, finally stretching out false feet, as it were, in an attempt to snare it's victim."

"These feet are more like tentacles, stretching farther and farther until the two tentacles meet and the prey completely enclosed. Then it begins to move in closer and closer pushing its mass inward, until finally the poor trapped creatures literally become part of the organism. Though unfortunately as minute energy particles which are used up over time."

Kryten knew from the start that it was going to be an unpopular speech, but one that needed to be made.

"Kryten man, just what the smeg are you trying to imply?"

"No implication sir."

"The smeg there isn't," Lister said gruffly. "You're trying to tell us that there's this leviathan of a weird space amoeba and it has spotted us for an appetizer, and is just waiting to strike at it's leisure. Probably off drinking the whole of Lake Michigan for its soup."

"There's just one thing I just don't understand," intervened the Cat.

"What's that Mr. Cat sir," Kryten said trying to change the subject.

"Everything."

"And where do you suppose this space amoeba is now Kryten?" Rimmer queried nervously. "It's still not reading on any of the scanners. Not even the one that has no number on it but to ones Lister inked in really really poorly."

Kaboom! Before Kryten could incorrectly answer Rimmer's question the tiny Starbug was caught in a tidal wave of gravitiless liquid. The ship was tossed around as though a lake had suddenly formed around it. When things
became settled enough Starbug was trapped like an ant in a huge puddle. Within the belly of the beast as it were.

"Well sir I may have to do further tests before I have conclusive evidence, but I'm assuming that the creature may have just rematerialized
on top of us." Kryten said this just before the jolting of the ship caused him
to bounce his head off the nearest console, illuminating it's lights with the blow.

"Hit the retros," Rimmer shouted, "maybe we can fly through it!"
As the retros ignited the ships hull made a strangled squealing sound.

"Move it Cat," hollered Lister.

"I am moving it, I got the pedal to the metal. The problem is that this thing is like flying through banana custard." As the moments slowly ticked by the craft suddenly began to build speed

"I think were through the worst of it sirs."

"Are you sure?" Asked Lister. "The buffeting doesn't seem to have slowed any."

"My scanners indicate that we've moved successfully to an area of the creature that the pressure on the hull is so light that we can risk puncturing the membrane."

As Kryten finished his sentence a hull seal burst spraying Rimmer's
solid light hologram with a warm sticky fluid.

"Or maybe not," said the Cat.
Consequently this strange fluid started filing up the cockpit at an alarming rate.

Then nothing.