The alarm screamed. Alfred rolled over, swatting at the buttons on top of the digital clock. His weak attempts continued until he slammed down hard enough to feel the metal and plastic crunch under the force. He sighed and leaned up on one elbow to look at the damage. The clock let out one last beep as it died and Alfred groaned at the dull glowing numbers that flickered for the last time. 6:00 A.M.

"Shit."

Why had he set the alarm for six? He couldn't remember. Alfred lay back down in the still warm nest of sheets. His eyes fluttered shut and he remembered. Ludwig.

He had agreed to meet him at 7:00 A.M., but now he was seriously regretting it. Alfred rolled onto his back and groaned in his throat. His fingers threaded over his eyes, blocking out the dim light slipping in through the closed curtains.

He could feel the heat of Arthur laying beside him, and he felt guilty. Not that he had any reason to. No one reason at all.

It had been three nights since the one he spent with Ludwig and Ivan. And the German had been kind enough to drop by and check on him when he heard. It had been sweet, and Alfred wanted to feel cared for again. He didn't like the forced feeling with Arthur, but he also couldn't stand the twinge of mistrust from the German either.

He wanted to feel loved, wanted to feel wanted. Maybe Ludwig was right. He didn't owe anything to Arthur. He could just get him out of his depression on put him on his way. Why shouldn't he be happy?

Why should all of them be unhappy?

He struggled out of the sheets, flipping them over his body and exposing it to the cold. He sat up on the side of the bed and shivered. The dark room was silent except for the hush-hush of the air-conditioner and Arthur's soft breathing. Other than that, the room was still. It felt... good. He needed the quiet stillness of the morning.

After all of the fussing and fretting Matthew had put over him, Alfred didn't have a second alone. Matthew was with him through it all. It was nice, to be able to have warm, loving arms around him instead of the frozen coldness he had felt in that hotel room three nights ago.

Sure, he loved Matthew, but he needed some time alone, some time to think about his choices and what he was going to do with his life. Alfred wasn't sure this was something he wanted to share just yet. Not until he knew what exactly it was he was supposed to be sharing.

After taking in the refreshing calmness, he stood, stretching for a moment before walking on the padded carpet into the bathroom. He shed his white tank top and red plaid boxers, leaving himself naked in the clean white space. Alfred looked himself over in the mirror above the sink, letting his eyes dance over his skin.

His body was healed by now, not a mark or wound left on him. His hair was as golden and silky as ever, fluffy as feathers, his eyes as blue as they had always been, he looked... human. The same he had always looked. The same as he always would. But he knew that even though his body was the same, the person he was would continuously change. Everyday he felt like someone else, someone different.

He tested the cool spray of the water with a timid hand, reaching out and waiting patiently for the water to warm around his skin. When it did, he stepped in and groaned in pleasure as the pressure of the water beat down on the knots of his back. He had been so stressed lately, and the recent events did nothing to ease his worry.

Alfred rolled his shoulders, working up a good rhythm to work out the kinks in his tired body. He didn't hear the door open, nor the curtain move until cold, tender fingers ran across his skin. He jerked in shock and almost slipped on the wet floor of the shower. But when he realized who was tracing his smooth back, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Arthur slid his arms around the broad chest from behind, and snuggled up against his heat. Alfred's head was hanging, submerged under the shower head, beads of water rolling down the arm he was supporting his body with. "You're up early."

"I could say the same for you."

"Hm." Alfred wanted to ask why the Brit had been so bold as to join him in the shower, but decided against it. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. But he was curious. After all the time Arthur had spent dancing around him, now he was going to make his move? When Alfred may have a chance of moving on with his life? How was that fair?

The American felt frustrated and Arthur could feel the body tense in his arms. "Why so tense, love?"

'Love'? Alfred almost scoffed. Since when did Arthur start calling him pet names? "Just thinking about things."

Arthur merely hummed. "Things are stressful to think about, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but somebody's got to do it."

"Would you care to talk about it?"

"...No." Alfred's eyes remained closed and water ran down his face.

"Look at me." Arthur's voice was soft, caring. It didn't seem right. "Alfred, look at me."

The American turned, faced the smaller man behind him and watched the water fall down on both of their bodies. The Brit stood tall, confident in the spray. His green eyes firm as they held the wavering blue. Slender hands cupped his face, tender in his hold. Alfred let his eyes flutter shut. He didn't want to see the miracle before him, see the taunting image of adoration and want.

He wanted to be able to move on. To not feel so captured, so trapped in the other's twisted, beat-down world. But it was impossible. He couldn't keep his eyes closed. Fearful of opening to find Arthur gone, yet not daring to hide from the perfect view of what he had only been able to dream of until then.

Arthur's thumbs slid under the uncertain blue orbs and wiped away the water collecting under them. He didn't want to see moisture there ever again, even if it was just water from the shower. Arthur hid the grimace forming on his face at the dark circles that outlined his eyes.

He could see why Matthew had been so hesitant to leave. He didn't want to abandon his brother when he needed him the most. But family or not, work came first, and there wasn't anything the Canadian could do to change that. So with little protest, the obedient northern brother caught the first plane back home to fulfil his duties as a country.

So, gathering up his courage, Arthur gently pulled the American's face closer, and leaned up towards the others face and gave fluttering, affectionate kisses to the bags that marred the younger's face.

Alfred let out a weak, shaky breath that caressed Arthur's neck. The Brit ignored the smell, knowing full well that his own breath must stink something awful as well. He smiled shyly as he felt the strong, tan arms wrap around him and pull him closer. "There, there, love. I'm here."

"Why now?" Alfred choked out. "After all this... you just... why?"

Arthur thought about what exactly he was doing. He was attempting to move on, to crawl out of his former, dead shell and live again, and if that meant giving in to Alfred's advances, so be it. He wanted desperately to believe he wasn't using the American, that he truly did care, but how was he to know?

After doing nothing but using people after all his years, could he suddenly just... stop? Arthur highly doubted it, but he kept that to himself. If he had to use the American so be it, Alfred would forgive him, right? He would still love him anyway, wouldn't he?

"I'm... giving this a chance." He uttered, his voice sounding more certain in his lie than he was feeling on the inside. "I'm willing to try now... if," he took a breath, "... if you would still be up for the challenge."

Alfred stared at the wall of the shower. Arthur's chin was resting on his shoulder, so he knew he couldn't see his tormented gaze. "Really?"

"Yes."

Alfred trembled, torn. Should he do this? Should he give in to his wildest temptations? Or should he let go of chasing this fantasy and go back to Ludwig? It was all so confusing. He couldn't have both. It was either one or the other. Once again, the world was cruel for creating a love that couldn't be shared.

Maybe he should just remain alone for all of his days, spare all of them from his choice. His chest felt tight, and he wished Matthew was there. His twin brother always made the pain easier, made the longing less prominent.

But he was gone, and Alfred was left alone to wallow in his guilt and sins.

"Do you really want this? Do you want me or just an excuse?" The last word was more of an insult. How things had changed over the last week. Only three days ago, he would have been happy just being an excuse, but now..."Because I won't be made a fool out of again, Arthur."

"I know..."

"So?"

And with a deep breath, Arthur sealed their fate.

((Sorry this one is so short, you guys, but come on, that last chapter was a monster. Also, I don't have wifi anymore so I haven't been able to post this yet anyway. I'm a senior in high school now and its exhausting, I have NO time anymore. So when I DO update, it will probably be short, annoying chapters like this one. Sorry for the cliffy, but hey, gotta keep ya readin' somehow, right? ; 3 Let me know what you think!))