Rozen Maiden: Märchen
EPISODE TWELVE
Ballad of Fallen Angels
Pandora's Box sat on the coffee table in the living room, drinking the light like a dark star. Just looking at the thing made the dolls uneasy, and they could each sense something ... peculiar emanating from within. Something about the Box resonated with them in a way that they found difficult to articulate. Something eerily familiar.
Jun was hiding upstairs, locked in his room in an effort to avoid being seen by his sister. He was using the opportunity to catch up on his homework and study for the upcoming entrance exams, which he could still do despite his current age-related setback. Never one to pass up an opportunity to torment the poor boy, Suiseiseki had called up Micchan and told her about his situation. Judging by the delighted squealing noises she'd made she would no doubt soon be pounding on the door with her digital camera at the ready to take pictures. Between Micchan and Nori, Jun would be very lucky to make it through the day with his dignity intact.
In the meantime Shinku and the twins sat sullenly in the living room, staring at Pandora's Box as they considered their own situation. Thanks to Kanaria's surprisingly brilliant plan of switching the real Box for a fake, they'd been able to keep a hold of the thing despite Kirakishou's untimely intervention at the Angel's Home doll auction. On top of that they also knew now that the seventh doll had the key to open it. This fact made Souseiseki uneasy.
"Doesn't that mean that Father gave it to her?" the boyish doll voiced her concern aloud when the matter came up. "Out of all the Rozen Maidens, Father entrusted the key to this Box to her. I can't help wondering if that means he wants Kirakishou to open it and become Alice."
Shinku shook her head firmly, unwilling to accept that premise. "I do not believe so. It seems more likely that Father gave her the key and then set her to sleep deep within the N-Field so as to keep it safe from others who might seek to use it. If nothing else Kirakishou is one of the strongest Rozen Maidens; who better to protect it than her?"
She neglected to add the real reason for her doubt. Namely that Rozen had personally told Shinku he wanted her to become Alice. If he had given Kirakishou the key for safekeeping as Shinku believed, then he had chosen wisely, because the seventh doll had done just that. The only problem was that now Shinku had to get the key from her if she wanted to open the Box and become Alice. The mere thought of fighting Kirakishou made her shudder. Each time Shinku had confronted her, Kirakishou had effortlessly dominated the encounters. Her power was frightening to behold, and that was without having a Medium. If Kirakishou actually did decide to get herself a Medium then she would be dangerously close to invincible.
Thus far, the only thing that had ever come even close to defeating Kirakishou in battle was Hinaichigo, and that was with Rozen himself as her Medium. Not exactly a viable option open to them at this point. Even with Jun lending his full support to her, Shinku wasn't confident of her chances against the seventh doll.
Nevertheless she had to try.
"So now what?" Suiseiseki finally asked. Shinku bowed her head slightly, her mind made up.
"Tomorrow I intend to enter the N-Field and challenge Kirakishou for the key."
This drew startled expressions from both Gardener twins, who hadn't expected anything of the sort from Shinku, especially given what they knew of her. Souseiseki frowned at her.
"Are you serious, Shinku?"
"I am."
"That doesn't sound like you at all."
"She's right," Suiseiseki added, struggling to understand Shinku's bizarre declaration, "I so thought you were through with fighting, Shinku."
Father's words played through her mind, over and over. The words he'd spoken to her last year after he had brought her back. He still wanted her to strive to become Alice. And then his younger self, who had told her that he would choose her above the others to be Alice. His journal as well, stating that he couldn't help feeling strongly about her. No, she had to do this. She couldn't turn her back on him, couldn't let him down. Not when there was now a way for her to become Alice without having to battle all of her sisters.
At most she would have to defeat Kirakishou. She could bring herself to do that much, at least. And if she succeeded and became Alice, Kirakishou could be revived. If Shinku lacked the ability to do it herself as Alice, then surely Jun or Father could.
"This is so ridiculous!" Suiseiseki hopped down from her chair, marched over to the Box and hefted it. "There's just no need for any of us to fight. I say we give that crazy Kirakishou what she wants and let her become Alice. I so don't care if it's not me! Let her win, let her be the one! That way none of us has to get hurt again."
"No."
It was just one word, and she said it in a low voice. Nevertheless that one word stopped Suiseiseki in her tracks. She lowered the Box and blinked at Shinku as if her sister had just screamed at the top of her voice. Stunned, the twins stared at Shinku. The fifth doll's stern gaze was almost frightening.
"No," she repeated, "I will not ask either of you to come with me tomorrow, yet I will not surrender the Box to Kirakishou. I shall fight her alone for the right to become Alice. If she defeats me then so be it, yet I will not simply stand aside."
Suiseiseki gaped at her, flummoxed by her attitude. "I so don't get that! Shinku, what's gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"Yes," Souseiseki weighed in, "You really want to become Alice that badly?"
Shinku averted her gaze from them both. "I do," she said flatly. Souseiseki sighed.
"I see. Then that means you've made your choice. Have you informed Jun?"
Shinku's eyes widened with shock. Her head spun sharply as she fixed her intense gaze upon Souseiseki. "What do you mean?" she demanded. The Gardener met her gaze with a deadpan look of her own, her voice soft and controlled as it often was.
"Before, you confided in me that you were torn between your duty as Rozen Maiden and your feelings for Jun. If you have decided to become Alice, I can only assume that means you have made your decision."
Shinku didn't reply. She couldn't. Souseiseki had brought up an uncomfortable truth that she had been outright avoiding dealing with herself. She was right though. If she had truly made up her mind to become Alice and be with Father, then did that not also mean she was letting go of her feelings for Jun? The very thought made her squirm uneasily. This was an issue she had not yet resolved, one she didn't know how to resolve.
She did have to decide, and whatever choice she made would mean breaking someone's heart. She knew Jun loved her dearly, yet she could not deny how strongly Father felt for her either. Distressed by the dilemma, Shinku grimaced and pressed her hands to the sides of her head.
"Shinku?" Suiseiseki spoke tentatively, concerned by her behaviour and distraught expression. Heart aching, Shinku let out a whimper and slid off the couch, before striding out of the living room without another word. Suiseiseki moved to go after her, but was stopped by her twin, who put a hand on her arm and shook her head.
She knew what Shinku was going through, and did not envy her the pain she must be feeling. For now though, there was nothing either of them could do.
How could she have been so blind? It had seemed to simple before. Father treasured her, wanted her to become the perfect girl, and at last she had the means to do so without hurting her sisters. A clear path, at long last. Simple.
Except for Jun. Guilt stabbed at her for not even thinking of him. She'd been pushing him from her mind without even realising it, because a part of her knew that if she thought about him for any length of time she would be right back where she started, torn between the two.
Jun and Rozen.
If she did become Alice, then surely that would mean parting from Jun? And if she did not, then surely Father would be heartbroken? He wanted her to be Alice. Wanted her to be his. How could she refuse him? He'd made her after all. She wouldn't exist were it not for him. Any of her sisters would be delirious with envy if they were as favoured by Father as she were. Could she really throw that away for the sake of Jun?
But Jun ... words could not begin to describe the regard he had for her, the strength and depth of his feelings towards her. He was prepared to give up human love for the sake of spending his entire life serving and protecting her. And he truly meant it as well, he really would. That was so fantastically rare that turning her back on such a person would be like stepping on a genuine blue rose. Such a cruel thing the mere notion galled her.
Where was her third option? Jun had always insisted that when faced with a choice you couldn't bring yourself to make, there would always be an alternative eluding you. You just had to look for it. For the life of her Shinku couldn't find it in the jumbled mess that was her feelings. She was almost tempted to simply run away and let herself wind down, to sleep and let the weight of her feelings fade away. Just when she could take it no more, a distraction presented itself to take her mind off the problem.
Meimei. Suigintou's artificial spirit.
"Meimei?" Shinku exclaimed, startled by the tiny wisp of violet light that sailed through the air towards her. It stopped before her and pulsed several times, telling her to follow it. Overcome with curiosity, she did so, and soon found herself standing before the big mirror. Meimei sank into the reflective surface, which immediately glowed with the light of the N-Field.
Did Suigintou want to see her? But if so, why send Meimei to bring her? Since the ill will between them had defused lately, Suigintou had shown no qualms about showing up at Shinku's doorstep. Or breaking through Jun's bedroom window in order to annoy him. If it was her, what did she want?
She could stand there all day asking silly questions, or she could follow Meimei and find out. Since the latter seemed the more prudent and logical course, Shinku hurled herself into the N-Field.
It was Suigintou's Field, true enough, but with two significant details. The first was that it was snowing heavily, the streets and rooftops covered with a thick carpet of soft white snowflakes. The work of that trickster rabbit, Laplace. Shinku hoped he had not lured her here, for she had no desire to see the obtuse demon right now. Or ever, for that matter.
The second was a bit more complex. There were countless N-Fields in addition to the one each Rozen Maiden possessed. A doll's Field was like a person's dream world - it reflected what lied deep within their heart. For centuries, Suigintou's field had been a dark, dreary and ruined reflection of their hometown of Lebensbaum. As Shinku had once remarked, it showed poor taste, and illustrated well the desolate coldness inside Suigintou.
Now though ... Shinku was stunned beyond words. For the first time since she'd set foot inside Suigintou's world, it had changed. Completely transformed might be a better description. No longer ruined, the streets and buildings were intact and brightly lit. It was like a vibrant, living town. Beautiful even, like a Christmas picture postcard, especially with all the snow. Where once there had been a dead husk of a tree, now there stood a healthy living thing that proudly displayed it's leaves in defiance of the heavy snowfall. Where before rubble cluttered the streets and grime coated the buildings, now all was clear and clean.
It was breathtaking, all the more so because Shinku understood how significant the change was. A doll's Field was a reflection of the doll. Looking at it was like looking at the doll's heart and soul. That Suigintou's world should be so changed could only mean that she had changed, and for the better if the changes were anything to go by.
Gaping in awe at her surroundings, Shinku retained enough presence of mind to follow Meimei deeper into the Field. After a few minutes of crunching through the snow, Meimei led Shinku to a square containing a fountain. Like everything else it was restored to it's former glory, no longer a dried out derelict feature. Fresh water gushed from it, and standing before it was Suigintou.
Holding Father's journal.
Meimei buzzed around the darkly dressed doll, drawing her attention to the fact that Shinku was present. Shinku stopped in her tracks as her elder sister gently closed the journal and turned to regard her.
"Hello Shinku," she said. Shinku was unable to gauge anything from her tone of voice. Her expression was inscrutable as well.
"Suigintou," Shinku began, her gaze flicking towards the journal in her hands, "Where did you get that?"
Suigintou glanced down at the book she held and stroked the cover. "I stole it from Jun's room," she admitted casually, "You might have told me you had it, Shinku. Though, having read it now I think I can see why you didn't." She met Shinku's worried gaze and smirked. "'Of all the Rozen Maidens, Shinku has her eyes. When I look into Shinku's eyes, I see Alice staring back at me'," Suigintou recited, causing Shinku's heart to flutter with alarm, "'A father should never favour one child over another, but I cannot help myself.'"
Suigintou strolled over to Shinku and held the journal out towards her, tilting her head slightly and smiling as she did so.
"Oh Shinku ..."
Shinku took the offered journal and watched as her sister turned and walked back to the fountain. She felt a painful lump in her throat, and wondered if Suigintou might decide to fight her once more. Given the way she felt about Father and her feelings of betrayal towards Shinku, Shinku was astonished that Suigintou was not snarling with rage right now.
"Suigintou ... are you angry?" Shinku asked, testing the waters. Still with her back to her, Suigintou reached up and cupped her own face with her hands, giving a worrying chuckle.
"I'm not. Isn't that funny? I thought I would be, but ... I just don't seem to care anymore."
Shinku clutched the journal tight, her gaze downcast, her eyes brimming with guilt. Suigintou had always felt inferior. Rozen had left her unfinished, incomplete and without a Rosa Mystica initially. When Shinku had learned that ... it still pained her to think back on the hurtful things she'd said and done. Generations of bitter animosity had followed between them. It seemed inevitable now that the mended bridges they'd worked at recently would burn.
"I am sorry," said Shinku. Suigintou lowered her hands and turned slightly to regard her.
"Why? You have nothing to be sorry for, Shinku." She turned away again and gazed upwards at the falling snowflakes. "Tell me Shinku ... just before Father left us to return to his own time, what did he whisper to you? I'm curious."
Shinku winced. "Suigintou, please ..."
Suigintou laughed and whirled around to face Shinku directly now. "Oh Shinku, you're trying to spare my feelings. How sweet of you. There's really no need, I assure you. Please tell me. I promise not to bite you, regardless of what he said."
Shinku couldn't bring herself to look at Suigintou. She told her what the young Rozen had whispered to her back at Lebensbaum. The first Rozen Maiden did not seem altogether surprised.
"Well isn't that nice. You're clearly Father's favourite," she said. Astonishingly enough there was no bitterness or spite in her voice as she spoke. If anything she sounded faintly amused by it all, which really made little sense. Shinku finally lifted her gaze to regard Suigintou, curious about her strange behaviour. Did it have something to do with the changes to her Field? What had happened to her?
Suigintou sauntered over to Shinku and reached out to brush her cheek with her finger, still smiling vaguely. She then leaned close and whispered into her ear.
"Who can blame him ..."
Her eyes widened as Suigintou pulled back, giggling to herself. Shinku remained utterly baffled by the lack of fury and loathing she was displaying. It wasn't as if she wanted Suigintou to attack her in a fit of jealous rage, but it most certainly was what she would expect of her. Either she had completely changed or was merely toying with her, and would turn sour any moment now.
Suigintou turned and strode off towards a brightly lit building, pausing to glance back at Shinku and beckon for her to follow. Her emotions in confused turmoil, Shinku trooped after he big sister, somewhat curious. She followed Suigintou into the building and her jaw fell at the spectacle within.
It was a ballroom. A lavish, warmly lit, polished marble and gold ballroom. Extravagant, luxurious, immaculately clean and simply beautiful to behold. It was filled with richly dressed dolls, all female, and all waltzing across the ballroom floor, oblivious to Shinku's entrance. As she gaped about at the sight of it all, she saw Suigintou standing in the middle of the room, hand extended towards Shinku in invitation.
"Care to dance?"
Shinku became aware of music playing. Chopin. Grande Valse Brilliante. The perfect music for a ballroom dance. She absent mindedly handed the journal she was still holding to a doll standing beside her with an offered silver tray, before joining her sister on the floor.
"Suigintou, I must confess I am perplexed."
Suigintou sniggered and took Shinku's hand. "I know, I can see it in your face. Such a pretty face, Shinku, you do it an injustice gaping at me so. Would it trouble you to give me a simple smile?"
Shinku smiled a little uncertainly as they both began waltzing to the piano music filling the hall. The other dolls smoothly made way for them without breaking their stride, though Shinku's attention was fixed firmly upon Suigintou as she struggled to understand all of this. She felt somewhat wary and uneasy, unsure if all of this were some kind of elaborate game or trap. Yet, as she danced to the music and gazed at her sister's warm smile, her suspicions began to slowly melt away. She genuinely sensed no deception or simmering rage, indeed Suigintou's good nature felt entirely honest. Only her own expectations made it difficult to accept.
The music changed to a slower melody, Suigintou drawing closer to Shinku as they moved to the more sedate tune. For a long time neither of them said anything, instead enjoying the moment, all of their past differences and arguments lost to the music and the waltz. Finally Suigintou caught Shinku's eye and smirked mischievously at her. Shinku couldn't help but smirk back at her.
"Why are you doing this, Suigintou?"
"What's the matter, aren't you enjoying yourself?" Suigintou teased.
"I am."
"Good, that makes two of us," Suigintou winked at her. Shinku laughed lightly, pleasantly startled. The weight of indecision that had so recently tormented her was gone and she felt ... brighter somehow. Still smiling, Suigintou stopped dancing and held Shinku at arms length, regarding her fondly it seemed.
"What is it?" Shinku asked. Suigintou opened her mouth to respond but hesitated. Then she pulled Shinku towards her, leaned close and kissed her. Shinku went rigid with shock, utterly thrown by this unexpected act. She didn't fight it, as it took her so off guard that resisting didn't even occur to her. What did occur to her was the feeling Suigintou put into it. The kiss felt tender, yet somewhat ... sad. As if she fully expected it to be the only one she would ever have and, knowing that, she was trying to treasure it despite that knowledge. When she at last stopped (and it seemed to last a very long time, although that may have been somewhat subjective), Suigintou pulled back and cupped a hand to the side of her own face, blushing faintly.
Shinku stared at her, completely at a loss as to how to react. She wasn't exactly sure what had just happened. It took a bit of mental prodding before she could accept the reality of what Suigintou had just done, and once she did a single thought dominated her mind.
What was that?
"Sui ... gintou?"
Suigintou giggled in an almost embarrassed fashion. "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that?"
"No."
" ... I could tell you exactly, down to the number of seconds. I think 'a very long time' will suffice, though."
Shinku pulled away from her sister and cast about, uncertainty screaming from every inch of her. She floundered for something to say but her normally sharp intellect continued to let her down by giving her nothing. Suigintou reached out and took Shinku's hand, enveloping it in her own as she smiled hesitantly.
"Shinku ... for the longest time I hated you. But it wasn't always so. We used to be close. So close. And I think that ... the strength of my hatred was matched only by the strength of the love I felt for you."
"Suigintou ..." Shinku said her name, because that was all she could think to say. Anything more than that escaped her at the present.
Her hands tightened around Shinku's as she went on, determined to say her piece. "I don't hate you anymore, Shinku," she said effusively, "Not anymore. I'm through hating you. I'm through fighting you. Back home in Lebensbaum, you asked me what I wanted. Do you remember?"
"I remember."
"What I wanted to say then was ... I want to be with you, Shinku. I want that more than anything."
"Suigintou ..." Shinku looked away, feeling ... feeling something, what, she couldn't say.
"Shinku, let's leave. Together."
Shinku stared at her once more, shocked by her words. "What do you mean?"
"I mean let's run away together. Leave everything behind and just go."
"Where?"
"Anywhere. Everywhere. Just as long as we're together. Shinku, the Rozen Maidens are nearing an end. You must feel that too. Alice is coming, and I'm afraid that when she does you and I will never see each other again. I can't stand that Shinku."
Shinku was dumbfounded. Of all the things she'd been considering to explain Suigintou's strange behaviour, this certainly had not been one of them. She couldn't deny a certain thrill at hearing Suigintou confess such feelings for her, feelings that Shinku shamefully shared. She loved Suigintou as well, though she had long since given up hope of Suigintou ever reciprocating after all that had passed between them.
And then it occurred to her. This was it. Door number three. She wanted an alternative to choosing between Jun and Rozen. Here it was. Choose neither and be with Suigintou instead. Well. She certainly hadn't expected that. But there it was. Just as she'd felt lost and confused and torn, her big sister had come along and tugged her in a new direction.
Suigintou sighed and released Shinku's hand, her lavender eyes downcast, shoulders slumped. She took a step back. Shinku extended a hand towards her.
"Suigintou-"
"No, Shinku, it's ... it's fine." Suigintou looked up at her and flashed her a soft smile, her cheeks flushed. "To be honest, I never really expected you to say yes. I had to ask though, and I had to let you know how I really felt, before the end. I understand, and I don't hold it against you. Farewell, Shinku."
Shinku watched her sister turn and walk away, heels clicking on the polished marble floor of the ballroom, the other dancers parting to allow her through. She stopped and, hesitating for a moment, turned back.
"Shinku, just out of curiosity ... who are you going to choose? Father, or your Medium?"
Shinku stared at her. And stared. Music played, dolls danced, and still she said nothing. She felt oddly still inside. Calm. Empty. Clear.
"You."
Suigintou blinked. "What?"
Shinku ran at her. What followed could only be described as a glomp. She barrelled into Suigintou and wrapped her arms around her sister, tears streaming down her cheeks. Suigintou was as dumbfounded as Shinku had been when she had kissed her. She gawked at the blond doll embracing her, eyes wide.
"I choose you, Suigintou," Shinku answered, squeezing her, "Let us forget Alice and Pandora. I wish to be together, with you."
Suigintou's astonished expression gave way to one of bemused joy. She wrapped her arms around her little sister and stroked her hair. Around them, dancers twirled and spun, music filled the air and black feathers rained down from above.