Olivia's Dark Nights

Disclaimer: I don't make any money from these. However, I am unemployed, and if you need a new writer for SVU, I am available!

Author's note: Please please review! I need to know someone is reading!

Chapter 2

When Olivia's alarm rang the next morning, she was too tired to move. She hit the snooze button six times before finally getting out of bed. She felt woozy, almost like she was hung over. If she didn't have court this morning, she would have crawled back into bed and called out sick. She dressed and went through her morning routine, but felt lifeless. Like it was an effort just to stay alive. She decided to go straight to the courthouse. She didn't have the energy to see anyone from work.

"You look like hell." Casey said. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah Case, I'm fine, I had a late night." Olivia lied. "I'm just tired."

"Why don't you go home? The bags under your eyes are terrible, and you look awfully pale."

"I have too much work to do to stay home in bed all day!" Olivia snapped. "Casey, I'm sorry. Leon and I had a fight last night and broke up. I…"

"Liv its fine, I understand. Why don't we talk over dinner. We can go to Gypsy's. I'll pick you up at your place at eight."

Olivia smiled at her friend. "That sounds great Case. I'll see you then."

Olivia was quieter then normal at work all day. Her co-workers noticed she was even less of herself then normal, but didn't want to pry into her business. Elliot had heard her crying in the locker room. He knew Olivia well enough not to ask her about it. She would deny anything was wrong. She was stubborn and would only talk when she was ready to. Elliot hoped she would not wait long. It took a lot to make Olivia cry; especially at work.

The night before with Leon replayed in Olivia's head like a bad youtube video. Tears dripped down Olivia's olive cheeks. She tried to hide her tears, but Fin came up and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Liv, what's wrong? What's goin on? You ain't acting like yourself."

"Fin, I'm sorry I can't talk about it right now."

Olivia was shaking. She had to get out of there. It was only four o'clock, but she grabbed her jacket and bag, & literally ran out the door.

"Elliot, what's goin on with Liv? She's real upset about something, but won't say what."

"The Captain and I noticed too, but haven't said anything. We're afraid if we approach her, she push us back even more then she already has. I know Olivia. She will only talk when she is ready. I hope she doesn't take long."

"Me too man. She doesn't look too good either. Did you see the dark circles under her eyes? I hope she's not sick."

Olivia ran into her apartment crying hysterically. She couldn't live like this anymore. She was tired of her life. She destroyed all her relationships, both romantic and platonic. She would be alone forever. The thought was too much to bear. She began cutting herself again. She cut deeper then ever before. The blood was dripping down her leg onto the hardwood floor. Olivia threw the knife across the room, and began sobbing into her pillow. She fell into a dreamless sleep.

Olivia was woken up a few hours later by a pounding on her door. Olivia was a bit disoriented, and it took her a minute to get her thoughts together. It was Casey!

"Oh crap, I was supposed to go with Casey for dinner!" Olivia pulled her pants back on. She was a mess. Her eye make-up had run down her face. Her hair was all over the place. She tried to get herself together as she went to the door.

Casey was shocked when she saw the state her friend was in. "Casey, I'm sorry…I…" Olivia broke into tears again. "Shh, Liv its okay." Casey hugged her friend. Olivia was sobbing on Casey's shoulder. Casey gently put her hands on Olivia's shoulders.

"Olivia, listen to me. Why don't you go in your room and get cleaned up. I'll order some of that Hungarian food you love so much, and we can stay in and you can tell me everything."

Olivia smiled slightly and wiped her eye with her hand. "Thanks Casey."

A few minutes later, Olivia emerged from her bedroom a new woman. She scrubbed off all of her old make-up, & combed her hair. She had on an old grey NYPD sweat suit from her academy days. She felt a little better.

Casey and Olivia sat on her couch like sisters. Olivia told her everything that happened the previous night with Leon, i5ncluding how he was cheating on her with some woman named Vanessa.

"I can't believe that slime would do that! You've been with him a year. How can he just give up and move on with some other woman? Liv I'm so sorry."

"Casey, it's my fault! I ruin everything! I'll be alone the rest of my life! I wish I could drop dead! Everyone would be better off"

"Olivia, don't talk like that! None of this is your fault! You didn't choose to be assaulted! He is not worth your time if he can't accept you for the woman you are! Imagine if an issue like this came up after you were married! He would have run right out the door! Liv, I think this was a blessing in disguise. At least you saw what he was before it was too late. Olivia, I know it's hard. I felt the same way when I had to break up with my fiancé. It's heartbreaking, but it gets easier. I'm sure there is someone out there a million times better. And besides, if we both stay single long enough, we can become spinsters together, and live in a house with fifty-two cats!"

Olivia smiled. "What do you mean "become spinsters?" We aren't exactly two spring chickens." The two women laughed.

"Liv, why don't you stop playing with your food and actually eat some of it."

"I am eating!"

"Yeah right, 2 bites of a pierogi does not a meal make. Eat dammit!"

Casey had a feeling there was more going on with Olivia then she admitted to. She had never seen Olivia so depressed before, especially to the point where she wished herself dead. She had been acting off for a while now, but she seemed to be getting worse. She also noticed Olivia didn't look well physically. She didn't want to bring up the subject again, but she was going to keep a close eye on her best friend.