Rozen Maiden: Märchen

EPISODE THIRTEEN

Niedergeist

Time passed and Jun did his best to keep going. It wasn't easy. Once upon a time there had been a hole in his heart, and then Shinku had entered his life and filled it. Now that she was gone, he felt empty and aimless once more. He still recalled the time Shinku had lost her arm, and now that he had lost her he couldn't help but feel as if a part of him was missing as well. How he wished someone would magically mend him the way he had mended Shinku.

But he was strong, stronger than he had been before he'd heard the name Rozen Maiden. He didn't hide himself away in his room, didn't shut out the world and crawl into a corner as he'd once done before. He returned to school and studied hard for the upcoming entrance exams. Without anything or anyone to distract him, and desperately seeking a distraction, Jun threw himself into his studies, using the work to occupy his troubled mind.

His parents returned home, at long last. They were going to be able to stay for the entire summer break, which thrilled Nori no end. Jun on the other hand ... ordinarily he would have been happy to see them again, but after everything that had happened he just couldn't seem to find it in himself to smile anymore.

He was pouring Shinku's tea when a knock came on his bedroom door.

"Jun, can I come in?" his mother called out.

"Sure," Jun replied, not even glancing around. His door opened and Eiko Sakurada entered. She stood in the doorway and watched her son as he finished preparing tea for the blond doll sitting in the middle of the room. Naturally, Shinku did not react to her presence. She couldn't. The only reason she was even sitting where she was, was because Jun had placed her there. Her eyes were closed, because Jun couldn't stand to see her lifeless stare. It made his already aching heart throb with pain.

"I ... just came to wish you luck on your exams today," his mother said tentatively. She knew something was wrong with her son. Nori had explained to her that something had happened to upset him greatly, though would not say just what. After pouring Shinku's tea and setting the teapot down on the tray, Jun sat down opposite the doll and ... did nothing. Just stared forlornly at the teapot with his shoulders sagged. Eiko entered and closed the door behind her.

"You know," she said kindly, "I think she likes it. Don't you think she looks pleased, Jun-kun?"

Jun still did not look at his mother. He sighed heavily. "She hasn't even drunk any, mom. She can't."

Eiko knelt beside her son and regarded him with concern, wanting desperately to help him but not knowing how. She took a deep breath and tried again. "Yes, well ..." she hesitated, "Jun-kun ... if you don't mind me asking-"

"I do, but go ahead anyway."

"Why do you keep making tea for her? If you know she can't drink it-"

"I already told you; Shinku likes to have her tea prepared at the same time every day. I'm her servant, so it's my job to make the tea."

"And that television show?"

"Detective Kunkun," Jun answered shortly, his tone tired, as if he barely had the energy to respond to his mother's tedious questions, "It was her favourite show. She loved it. If she missed it she would get really angry."

Eiko fell silent for a while, unsure what else to say. Sure enough, every day at the same time her son made a pot of tea for the doll he kept in his room. And every day he insisted on putting the Kunkun show on television, then setting the doll down on the couch to watch it. It was the only time Jun ever insisted on what to watch, and he would always sit next to the doll, making dry remarks to it every so often. 'Kunkun really is a genius, isn't he Shinku?' he would say, and 'Don't worry Shinku, Kunkun's way too smart to fall for a dirty trick like that'.

Eiko was stumped. Her husband just shrugged his behaviour off, saying that at least it was an improvement from the way he'd been a few years ago when he locked himself in his room and ordered things online. And that was true, but it was still ... worrying. He acted as if the doll were a real girl. And the amazing thing was, his sister refused to talk about it. If Eiko tried to get Nori to speak about the doll, she would fall silent, a sad look upon her face. No amount of coaxing could get her to explain what it was all about.

"She's a very well made doll," Eiko said eventually, and that much was certainly true. In fact the first time she had set eyes on the doll she'd mistaken it for a little girl. It was so lifelike, so real, you could almost believe it was alive. "But Jun, don't you think you should ... go out once in a while? When we spoke to Nori over the phone she said you were going out during the day, that you were making friends and ..." She trailed off for a moment, before a sudden thought occurred to her. "What about that nice Suiseiseki girl? Are you still seeing her?"

Jun grimaced, though his mother didn't see. "I told you mom, Suiseiseki is a doll as well. She was just playing a trick on you that time you spoke to her. She was never my girlfriend."

"Oh, I see ... well what about Kashiwaba? Don't you want to go and see her? I know she's been helping you to study for the exams, but you don't have to just study when you're together. You could ... have fun. See a movie. Hang out together."

By now Jun was leaning his head against his hand and staring at Shinku, wishing his mom would stop trying to cheer him up or get him out of the house. It was getting annoying.

"Tomoe isn't my girlfriend either, mom."

"Of course not! But she is a very nice girl, and ... err ..."

"Human?"

"I didn't mean that!" Eiko hastily added. Jun merely rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well she's also a lesbian, mom, so unless I get a sex change anytime soon we're pretty much just going to stay friends."

Eiko gave her son a shocked stare, momentarily struck speechless by his blunt response. She cleared her throat and tried to stop from blushing so much. Eventually Jun took Shinku's untouched tea and poured it back into the teapot. His mother watched him as he carefully and methodically began tidying away. When he picked the doll up and placed her inside her doll case, Eiko gave an exasperated sigh and stood.

"You're almost fifteen Jun, I just think you're a little old to be having such an ... unhealthy fixation with that doll."

Jun snorted as he closed the lid of the doll case. "Yeah, well I think Micchan might disagree with you there," he muttered under his breath. Eiko pressed on, determined to say what she felt needed saying.

"I just want what's best for you. She's just a doll, Jun. She isn't a real person. I don't know what happened here while we were gone, but whatever it was it's important that you understand-"

"SHUT UP!"

Eiko stopped, stunned. Jun stood, trembling with barely controlled rage, on the verge of tears as he glared at his mother. She'd never seen him so furious before.

"Just stop it, okay?" Jun snapped, "You don't have any idea what I've been through! You can't imagine what Shinku meant to me! Not real? Not real? Mom, these past two years she's been more real to me than you or dad have been!"

"You can't mean that Jun-"

"I do! You look at her, and all you see is a doll. I look at her and I see the best friend I ever had. Shinku taught me more than you ever did, she ... she helped me crawl out of my shell when no one else could." Jun was sobbing now, great fat tears streaming down his face. This was the first time he'd cried since the day he'd lost everything, the day Alice had been born. His mother listened, dumbstruck by his reaction and his words. "She gave me strength, gave me the courage to live and to fight," Jun went on, "She made me happy. She may be a doll, but she was a person too, mom, don't you understand?"

Eiko could only stare at her weeping son as he pulled off his glasses and buried his face in his hands. Ordinarily she would go to him and embrace him, try to comfort him with soothing words, but the things he said were so astonishing she was simply too thrown to do anything. Finally Jun seemed to get a hold of himself. He wiped his eyes and replaced his glasses, and in doing so noticed the time on his bedroom clock.

"I have to go," he said, "Exams start in a couple of hours, and I promised Tomoe I'd meet up with her before then."

Jun stopped at his bedroom door and seemed to consider something for a moment. Finally he turned back and regarded his mother with swollen red eyes, giving a short sniffle before he said one last thing.

"By the way mom, Kohaku sends her regards."

He departed, leaving Eiko standing in his room, gaping in silent shock.

At one time Jun would have been terrified at the prospect of sitting another entrance exam. Considering the last time he'd done so he had failed abysmally and become the laughing stock of the entire school, it was no wonder. On this occasion though an exam seemed like a joke to him. How could he be scared of something like that, given some of the things he had seen and done? Once upon a time he had fought off Suigintou in order to protect Shinku. He'd faced off against Barasuishou in the N-Field. He'd been held at gunpoint and shot at by hired thugs. He'd even had Kirakishou threaten to carve his eye out with a shard of crystal.

Exams? Pfft.

Between the excessive studying he'd done and the relaxed frame of mind that came from simply not caring about anything much, Jun found the exams to be remarkably easy. By the time the last one was done he walked out of school without the slightest concern that he might have failed.

"Oh no you don't," Tomoe grabbed a hold of Jun's hand and tugged him in the opposite direction, "Come with me, Jun."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"I've arranged to have a drink with a few friends," was all she would say. Jun didn't feel like it, but returning home would mean having to face his parents again, and he certainly didn't feel like that either.

Tomoe led him to a pleasant outdoor cafe about fifteen minutes walk away. It was a mild day, with clear skies and just enough of a soft breeze to keep it cool. As they approached one of the tables, Jun was startled to see that it was already occupied.

"JunJun!" Micchan waved happily as Jun and Tomoe drew near, "How'd the exams go?"

Megu was seated beside her, and gave them a smile and wave as well. She was doing well these days, or at least as well as could be expected. Her new heart was as strong as ever, her health improving constantly. Nevertheless she felt the loss of Suigintou just as keenly as Micchan mourned the loss of Kanaria.

"Hey guys, what are you all doing here?" Jun asked as Tomoe steered him into an empty chair, before slipping off to get them both some drinks. Micchan cupped her chin in her hands and sipped at her juice through a brightly coloured straw.

"Miss Kashiwaba thought it would be nice if we all got together and shared a drink," Megu explained, "In memory of the Rozen Maidens."

"Oh she did, did she?"

"We asked Mr and Mrs Shibisaki to come as well, but they couldn't make it. They said to give you their best wishes with your exams."

"Thanks."

Tomoe returned with two glasses of lemonade for herself and Jun, and sat down next to him. It was ... nice. The weather was good, there was no more studying to do for the foreseeable future, and Jun was with some of the few people who could understand how he felt. He wasn't the only one in pain over what had happened that day. Tomoe had lost Hinaichigo - again - Megu had lost Suigintou, and Micchan was herself lost without her little Kana.

"You know," Megu said after a couple of minutes silence had passed between them all, "I remember the first time I made tea for Suigintou ..." She smiled at the recollection and idly stirred her drink with her straw, "She took a sip of it and set the cup down. Then she walked over to me and slapped me."

"Why did she do that?" Tomoe asked, mildly astonished to hear it. Megu however merely giggled.

"That's just what I asked her. She said 'Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to poison me.'"

Jun snorted at that, finding it easy to picture given what he knew of Suigintou. It sounded about right. Tomoe smirked.

"One time Hina snuck into my mom's room and used her lipstick as crayons to draw pictures with. When my mom found out, she got angry with me. I told her that it was Hina that had done it. I even brought Hina to my mom to get her to admit it." Tomoe chuckled softly at the memory. "Hina seemed to know she was in trouble, and pretended to be just an ordinary doll. She wouldn't move or say anything, and my mom told me off for trying to pin the blame on a doll."

Micchan laughed at that and recounted a similar story of her own. "It was because Kana played the violin you see. I loved to hear her play, but some of the neighbours weren't so happy about it. The woman who lives in the apartment below mine knocked on the door one evening to complain about the noise. 'But I don't play the violin!' I told her. She asked who it was then, and-"

"Naturally you told her it was your doll," Jun finished for her. She grinned and nodded.

"I take it she didn't believe you either," said Tomoe, to which Micchan laughed.

"Not at first, no, but when Kana began playing Beethoven's Violin Concerto right in front of her I think she started to. It was hard to say, what with the running away and screaming she did then."

That brought a smile to all of their lips, even Jun's, and he was astonished when he realised that he was actually smiling. He didn't think he could, not anymore. All three girls were watching him expectantly now, waiting for him to take his turn and say something about Shinku. His heart tightened a little when he understood that, but a memory floated to the forefront of his mind and he found that he actually wanted to talk about it.

"I remember once, the dolls were watching the Kunkun show," Jun began tentatively, eyes staring off into the past, "Detective Kunkun read out a fan letter he'd received, asking him what his idea of the perfect woman would be. Naturally he listed off all the things you'd expect - kind, caring, good at cooking and cleaning. He also listed off the traits she shouldn't have, and pretty much described Shinku in the process."

They chuckled at that, and somehow Jun found it easier to keep going. It was as if telling them made the weight on his heart easier to bear. He smiled. "Well you know Shinku; she adored that puppet dog more than anyone, practically worshiped him. She took his words to heart, and the next day we all woke up to find that she'd tried to clean the house and cook breakfast. Of course Shinku couldn't cook or clean if her life depended on it, and she just about burned the house down." Jun laughed a little, a faint grin spreading across his face. "She still insisted that we eat the breakfast she'd made us, but, well ... it was revolting stuff. The second she had her back turned, Suiseiseki started force feeding it all to me, shovelling it down my throat and nearly choking me to death at the same time. Then she told Shinku that I loved breakfast so much I stole hers and Hina's as well. Shinku ..." Jun reached up and wiped a tear away from his eye, his grin fading somewhat, "Shinku was so happy at that, the look on her face ..."

He fell silent, and nobody spoke for a while. Instead they all sat together while people around them went about their business, paying them no attention as they each thought fondly of the dolls that had brightened their lives and given them so much happiness. Finally Tomoe raised her glass in a toast.

"To lost friends," she said. Micchan joined her and raised her own glass.

"To the Rozen Maidens."

Jun raised his glass as well but said nothing, taking a sip of his juice whilst trying not to tear up in front of everyone. It wasn't easy.

He missed Shinku. He would go on missing Shinku tomorrow, and the day after. He'd miss Shinku for the rest of his life, even. The thought that he would never be able to speak to her again, argue with her, call her a rotten pretentious doll one moment and then brush her hair lovingly the next ... it made him want to scream until his voice gave out. Scream at the unfairness of it all.

"To Shinku," he whispered, blinking back tears.

Unbeknown to them they were being watched. Alice laid her hand against the surface of a mirror, which showed the four of them sitting together drinking their toast.

"To the Rozen Maidens," Alice murmured, repeating their words aloud to herself, "To Shinku ..."

She knew them, all of them. She remembered the incidents that they had each recounted as clearly as if she'd been there herself. In a way she sort of had. In a way she sort of hadn't. She was the Rozen Maiden dolls made whole, unified together into one being. Their memories were her memories.

Seeing her former friends and Mediums together, lamenting the loss of the dolls they had befriended, it ... pained Alice. She felt their sadness and loss, and longed to ease it. She supposed she could go to them, but ... somehow she didn't think that would help solve the problem. It wasn't her they wanted, it was the Rozen Maidens. The dolls they had come to know and love.

Alice turned away from the mirror and wandered through the sunlit house until she came to the room. The room that contained the Rozen Maiden dolls and their doll cases. All save Shinku of course. She stared at the collection of dolls, feeling an odd sense of vertigo to see the faces that were at the same time hers and not hers. Was there really nothing she could do?

She turned away from the dolls and instead made for the lone black doll case resting atop a small table. Pandora's Box. A part of her was Pandora as well, though that particular fragment of her had spent a great deal of time sleeping compared to the others. Alice opened the ebony doll case and stared at the white cushioned interior.

"Hope," she called out softly. Almost at once the inside of the case glowed with a bright light and the golden artificial spirit of Pandora emerged from within. It floated before her and pulsed at her in query. Alice turned from it to regard the Rozen Maidens, who lay together upon the settee.

"I wish to restore them to life," she said, addressing the tiny spirit, "Surely there is a way?"

Hope pulsed twice as it bobbed beside her.

Yes, it had said.

Alice stared at it. "How?"

At a price, it said.

"I will pay any price. I will do whatever it takes. These dolls brought joy and happiness to many people, yet they gave their lives so that I might live." Alice winced and stared at the ground, feeling a deep sense of guilt and shame over that particular fact. It troubled her still. Every moment she spent with Rozen, enjoying her new life, always there was the knowledge in the back of her mind as to just what her life had cost.

You are the price, Hope said. Alice nodded.

I ... I understand. Tell me what I must do."

It told her. She listened.

"I see. Very well. So be it."

Alice extended her hand in the direction of the other doll cases, which were stacked neatly together across the room. As one they all opened a crack, and from within emerged the artificial spirits.

All of them.

Meimei. Pizzicato. Sui Dream. Lempicka. Holie. Berrybell. Rosary.

Seven artificial spirits, a rainbow of colours. The glowing wisps of light drifted towards Alice and danced around her. She explained to them what her intentions were, and one by one she absorbed them into herself until they were all gone.

"What's going on?"

Alice opened her eyes and turned. Rozen stood in the doorway, a puzzled expression upon his face. She smiled at him and approached, reaching out to take his hand. He listened as she explained what she was about to do. To say that he was conflicted was something of an understatement. He searched about for something to say, only to find a thousand things suggest themselves. Finally he settled upon one simple word.

"Why?"

"I cannot live like this," she answered, her sparkling blue eyes struggling to convey how she felt, "Knowing that my life, my existence, comes at the cost of the life of seven girls. Your daughters, Rozen. Do you not wish to be with them again?"

Rozen reached out and laid his hand against her cheek. "I am with them. They are you. Are you not happy to be alive? I thought this was what you wanted - to be a real girl. You wanted it so badly that I swore I would do anything to give you life."

"I know," Alice admitted sadly, "And I truly am grateful, Rozen. I could not have asked for more from you. You granted my wish, even though I was nothing but a dream."

"You were much more than that-" Rozen started to protest. Alice raised a hand to stop him and gave him an appreciative smile.

"Thank you. But you said it yourself; your daughters grew to care for others, and those others are heartbroken over their loss. I care for those people as well, and it breaks my heart to see them suffering so."

"Then go to them," Rozen urged, "There's nothing stopping you from being with them, with any of them. Not now. You're real now, you're alive. You can do anything you want."

Alice shook her head and turned to regard the Rozen Maidens. "It is not I they want. It is them." She turned back and gazed up into Rozen's eyes, her own eyes clearly showing her resolve. Seeing this, understanding that her mind was made up, Rozen wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

"I don't want to lose you Alice, not now you are finally here. After all these years."

"You wont," Alice assured him, "As long as you continue to love your daughters, the emotional bond you share with them shall link their hearts and minds to yours. I shall remain in your dreams. As I always have."

As they pulled away, Alice stood on her tiptoes and cupped her hands around Rozen's face, a bright and warm smile upon her own.

"Farewell, my love ..."

She leaned close and kissed him. As she did so, she glowed with a bright nimbus of light and her outline began to blur and shimmer. When Rozen opened his eyes, Alice was gone amidst a final flare of light, and in her place floated the seven artificial spirits. He watched as they shot towards the Rozen Maiden dolls, slipped down their backs and entered through the winding holes they each had there. The dolls glowed with an intense inner light and, one by one, started to move ...

Jun shut the front door and slipped out of his shoes. Nori was in the hallway and greeted him. He gave a half-hearted response and slowly trudged upstairs towards his room. He wanted to get changed out of his school uniform and then collapse onto his bed. If he was lucky he might even be able to sleep tonight.

Something was wrong. As he shut his bedroom door some oddity flagged itself for his attention, though it took him a moment to work out what it was. There was a note lying atop Shinku's case. Feeling his heart leap into his throat, Jun hurried over and snatched it up. Written upon it in red ink was a simple and yet heart wrenchingly familiar question.

~WILL YOU WIND?~

"Yes!" Jun screamed, tossing the note aside. He wrenched the doll case open, pulled Shinku out and frantically snatched up her winding key. His pulse quickened and his heart raced as he heard the familiar sound of clicking gears. Unable to rein in his sense of hope and desperation, Jun set Shinku down and shuffled back to watch.

Nothing happened.

"Shinku," he wailed, surging forwards to grab hold of her, "Please Shinku! Please wake up! For the love of god, please wake up!"

Shinku remained as motionless as ever.

Just as he was about to throw back his head and scream out his frustration, an absurd thought occurred to him then. In fairy tales, there was always one thing guaranteed to wake up a sleeping princess.

A kiss.

With nothing left to lose and everything to gain, Jun leaned forwards and planted a kiss square upon Shinku's lips, pouring all of his heartache and yearning into it, willing with every ounce of willpower for her to wake up and kiss him back.

Shinku opened her eyes. Seeing this, Jun stopped kissing her and pulled back, his face breaking into the stupidest grin he'd ever shown in his life.

"Shinku! You're alive!"

Shinku slapped him. The shock alone was enough to send him reeling back, knocking his glasses crooked. Jun's hand shot to his stinging cheek and he stared at Shinku, a massive jumble of emotions coursing through him. He didn't know what to say first.

"What did you do that for?" his mouth eventually settled on. Shinku's response was as prim and proper as ever, her voice sweet music to Jun's ears and heart.

"No reason. I simply felt like it."

Jun sprang forwards and hugged Shinku tightly, and this time she did not slap him or object. It went on for quite some time. Only when he was utterly certain this was real and not some fervid dream did he let go of her. He nevertheless beamed at her, his heart soaring with indescribable joy.

"Shinku."

"Jun."

Jun laughed. "So you wanna explain how this happened? Because I don't mind telling you, I thought I would never get the chance to see you ever again."

"I take it you missed me then, Jun?"

"Hell yeah!"

Shinku giggled. "That is good to know. For now though, I would very much like a cup of tea. If it is not too much trouble?"

Jun jumped to his feet and snapped off a salute. "On it!"

Shinku watched him tear out of the room like a thunderclap, only to reappear a moment later and timidly peek around the door.

"Err ... you are gonna be here when I get back, right Shinku?"

"Of course I shall."

When he was gone again, Shinku turned away and smiled to herself.

"You're a good boy, Jun."