Olivia's Dark Nights
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, and I don't make any money from writing these. I am unemployed and have a lot of time on my hands.
Chapter 5
Elliot woke up around 7 the next morning. Olivia was still sound asleep in her pitch black bedroom. Originally, he was thinking that the two of them could go out to breakfast. Then he realized Olivia might not want to talk about personal stuff in the middle of a crowded diner. He decided he would surprise her with a homemade breakfast. It was the only meal he could cook decently. He ran out to the corner market to grab his supplies.
As he was shopping, he kept thinking about Olivia. He knew there was more to her story then she was letting on. Something wasn't right with her, and he just couldn't put his finger on what it was. He also knew Olivia was not physically well. She had lost a lot of weight. Her eyes seemed to be sunken in, and were underlined with dark purple circles.
Olivia woke up to the smell of breakfast; something she had not smelled in her own apartment for years. She realized that Elliot had stayed the night. She tried to make herself decent before going out into the living room. She made sure all of the gashes on her body were covered by her clothing. She was scared to death that Elliot would find out about the cutting. She couldn't deal with him knowing her secret. Not now. Not ever.
"Hey, you made breakfast? You didn't have to go to the trouble."
"It's no big deal. I was hungry anyway, and I thought you would be too. Come sit down. Its ready."
Elliot filled Olivia's plate with huge pieces of French toast with fresh berries on top with whipped cream and powdered sugar. He even bought her favorite Dunkin Donuts coffee.
Elliot was beaming with pride from his handy work. "Eat up!" Elliot said pushing the plate closer to Olivia.
"So, what are your plans for the day?" Elliot asked Olivia.
"I don't really have any. I was just planning on staying in bed. I'm so tired." Olivia looked terrible, like she hadn't slept in weeks. However, Elliot knew that wasn't true.
"Liv, what's goin on? You've been spending a lot of time in bed lately. Are you sick?"
"No, Elliot, I'm fine. I'm just tired. I think it's just from all the stress I've been under."
Elliot looked at her as he put another fork full of French toast into his mouth. He noticed she had only eaten a few bites from her plate, and was playing with her food.
"Liv, why don't we do something today; just you and me; maybe go to the movies, or we can drive out to Jersey to that outlet mall you like."
"El, I just don't have the energy. Besides don't you have Dickie's hockey game this afternoon?"
"I can skip it. One game isn't doing to make that much a difference."
"That's not fair to him El! Go be with your kids. I'll be fine."
"Olivia, I'll go on one condition. That you promise to call if you don't feel any better tonight."
"Yes Dad." replied Olivia sarcastically. She had no intentions of calling Elliot. She didn't need a keeper. She was fine. Secretly, she couldn't wait to get back into bed.
"Elliot, I'll be back to work on Monday morning. I promise I'll survive until then."
Elliot, Cragen, and Casey had an early morning meet up on Monday before the work day began. Elliot wanted to let them know what had gone on over the weekend with Olivia.
"Cap, I don't know what is wrong with Liv. She doesn't seem to be getting any better. She is so depressed. So lifeless. She told me about her breakup with Leon, but there is more to it then that. She is fed up with her life. She keeps saying she has nothing to live for. She looks like hell. She must have lost fifteen pounds easily. The circles under her eyes are horrible. I think she definitely needs to talk to someone professionally. I think she needs more help then any of us can offer her."
"We all know Olivia. She never asks for help." Casey said. "We can't force her. Unless she talks to a doctor, she won't get any treatment." Our hands are tied.
"I could order a psych evaluation on her, but that will just scare her." Cragen said. "I think the best thing to do is continue to watch her like a hawk. I'll talk to Huang too. I'd like to hear what he says. Maybe he can offer some suggestions."
All eyes were on Olivia as she entered the squad room later that morning. Cragen and Casey had noticed right away the change in her physical appearance. Her usually fitted pants were slightly baggy, like she had to tighten her belt another notch. Olivia was thin to begin with, she didn't have much extra to lose.
"Olivia, are you feeling better?" Cragen asked.
"Yeah, pretty much Cap." Olivia lied. "I'm ready to get back to work."
"Are you sure?" Casey said. "You still look tired."
"I'm fine. It just takes some time to get out of your system completely. What do we have going on?"
"Nothing much right now. Catch up on your paperwork. I'll let you know when you have something."
A few hours passed. Olivia sat quietly at her desk tapping away on her computer. She began to feel sick; sort of weak and dizzy. She knew she had not been eating much lately, and thought maybe that was catching up to her. She sent Elliot down to buy her a carton of orange juice and a bagel from the street vendor. Elliot didn't question why she didn't want to go down herself. She ate her breakfast, but didn't feel much better. She was freezing, but beads of sweat were forming on her forehead at the same time. She hoped no one noticed. She grabbed her grey hooded sweatshirt from her locker and zipped it all the way up. Her teeth were chattering. "I hope I'm not coming down with a real stomach virus." Olivia thought to herself.
"Elliot! Olivia! Cragen yelled as he came out of his office. The doc has something for you at her office. She wants you both down there ASAP."
"We're on it Cap."
Olivia shakily put on her coat, and ran with Elliot out the door. She felt like her legs were going to give in, but she pushed on."
Melinda was washing her hands at the sink with her back turned as Olivia walked in.
"You're back." the ME said.
As she turned, she looked at Olivia with concern.
"Olivia, are you alright? You don't look so good."
Warner knew Olivia was out sick the previous week, but didn't expect the illness to take such a toll on her. She noticed right away that she was ghastly pale and too thin.
"Olivia, have you seen a doctor?" Warner said as Elliot came through the door.
"Sorry I'm late. I couldn't park the damn car!"
"Elliot, give us a minute."
Elliot obliged, and stepped out.
"Olivia, what's going on with you? Here sit down." Melinda rolled a stool over to Olivia and gently guided her to it. Melinda put her hand on Olivia's forehead. She could tell she was burning up.
"Melinda, I'm fine!" Olivia said through chattering teeth. "I'm still getting over a bug."
Olivia tried to stand, but Belinda pushed her back down. "Sit!" She ordered her.
She took Olivia's hand and checked her pulse"
"Your pulse is weak Olivia. Let me listen to your heart and lungs."
As Melinda went to get her stethoscope, Olivia stood up from the stool quickly. "Melinda, don't worry about me! Let's just get back to work. We came here because Cragen said you had new information on Joe Carter."
Olivia started to sway. Everything in the room went dim. Her eyesight went blurry. Olivia couldn't hear what Melinda was saying. The heat in her body was intense. Then, the lights went out in Olivia's mind..
Melinda ran over to Olivia and tried to revive her. Her skin was on fire.
"Elliot! Melinda screamed."
He came running into the room and saw Olivia on the floor.
"Call a bus. Tell them it's urgent."
"She's running a very high fever. At least 103 degrees I'd say. Help me get these clothes off of her. I have some cooling blankets. We need to cool her down before she has a seizure.
Melinda and Elliot cut Olivia's clothes off as quickly as possible. When Melinda cut down the legs of Olivia's pants, both she and Elliot were shocked by what they found.
"Oh my god, Olivia is a cutter?"
"This is serious." Melinda said. She was horrified by the pure number of wounds there were on Olivia's legs. Her olive skin was practically ripped to shreds. There were hundreds of crimson gashes from Olivia's hip to knee. Some were very deep.
"I think she's septic. She has in infection in her blood from the cuts." She needs to get on high dose intravenous antibiotics right away."
Elliot was sick to his stomach. He knew there was something going on with Olivia. Why didn't she tell him? How could she do this to herself?"
Elliot was brought back to reality by Melinda.
"I'll ride with her. Call Cragen and have him meet us at the ER."
Elliot watched as the paramedics loaded Olivia into the ambulance. He couldn't believe this was happening. How could he have been so blind?