Four pairs of eyes were fixed on the unconscious body snoring at the foot of the grand staircase.
"Do you think he's dead?" asked Eloise sarcastically.
"He sure will be when I'm done with him" answered Anthony.
"Has mother seen him?" Asked Benedict.
"She has yet to leave her bedchamber" Kate said.
"Wickham told me he came home so drunk he couldn't climb up the stairs on his own" whispered Anthony.
"Still, we can't leave him here," said Eloise, giving him a little nudge with her foot. "The children will get up soon, they must not see their brother like this!"
"Oh! Bowmore!" Benedict exclaimed, observing the bottle next to his brother. "My brother sure knows how to get drunk. Too bad there is so little left".
"Now is not the time, Benedict!" growled Anthony. "What are we going to do with him now?"
"Oh! For God's sakes" Kate sighed.
She turned around, went to the hall table where there was a bouquet of flowers, threw it away, walked over to Colin and poured the water on his head. Colin woke up with a start, certain that he was drowning. When he finally opened his eyes and saw the bright light illuminating the hall, he laid back on the ground covering his face with his hands.
"The next step would have been the vinegar down the throat" attested Kate with a touch of pride.
"Good morning, my brother" Benedict greeted deliberately too loud, giving him a little pat on the cheek.
"But what the… oh my head!"
"He's not dead, I don't care anymore" said Eloise, stepping over him to go back to her business.
"Had a good evening?" Said Anthony.
"Just… no… speaking…"
"Come now, brother! You don't want to talk? It's funny, because apparently you had some things to say last night!"
"Hush!"
"He's not curious?" Benedict joked. "I would be curious if I were in his place".
"Can you just... shut it", Colin whispered as he sat back up and rubbed his eyes.
"And he's back with us".
"What happened yesterday?"
"You went to Mondrich, you drank most of a bottle of whiskey. You came back home and..."
"My favorite part", laughed Benedict.
"… you serenaded Penelope Featherington" said Anthony grinning.
"What?"
"You went to her window" said Anthony leaning on his little brother with a fake upset look. "You woke her up, you begged her forgiveness for what you said about her at the last ball and to make your apologies official, you sang her a song!"
"No! I didn't! You are pulling my leg".
"Wickham told me you had a nice voice for a man who could barely stand", Benedict confirmed as Kate nodded.
"I think the words 'I'm courting you' were even said", Kate added.
"There was also something about a mirror and her cleavage".
"Oh no! I must go and apologize to Penelope".
"You're not going anywhere near her; you're going to leave her alone. Do you understand?" ordered Anthony.
"Anyway, we now know what happens when you try and apologize", Benedict sneered.
"If you're lucky, maybe your behavior won't end up in the Whisledown. Now, let's get you to bed before mother sees you in this state", said Anthony, holding out his hand to his brother. "And don't think about leaving your room before you wash up, you stink!"
"Can you take your feet off so I can sit down?"
Colin opened one eye to see Benedict standing in front of him with a plate full of cheese. After Anthony put him to bed earlier in the morning, he drifted off to sleep for a few hours before washing himself, dressing and pretending he wasn't suffering from the effects of the world worst hangover in the drawing room which, luckily, had been deserted until now.
"There are at least 15 other empty seats in this room, and you want to take the one where I lay my feet?"
"Move over, will you?"
Benedict sat down on the sofa next to his brother and handed him the plate of cheese.
"Eat, you'll feel better afterwards".
"I don't think I can swallow anything".
"Did you vomit yet?"
"I wish I could; my stomach would certainly get over that nasty feeling," he said, trying to swallow a bite. "I'm an idiot", he said after a long moment of silence.
"That, we have known for a long time", affirmed the eldest, observing him. "Come now, brother! It's not that bad. We've all done stupid things when we were drunk. I once woke up butt-naked on the steps of the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford the morning of the opening of an exhibition about the dodo. The king was the guest of honor at the ceremony. So, serenading a nice girl is not that bad".
"Maybe," he replied softly, picking up another piece of cheese.
"You know…" Benedict added after a moment of reflection. "Alcohol doesn't make us say things we don't mean. He simply gives us the courage to do what we usually don't dare to".
"What are you trying to tell me?" He had now grabbed the plate and was pecking at the contents.
"That maybe you should be open to the idea that you really meant what you said to our dear Penelope yesterday".
"Even if I really meant it, she doesn't even want to talk to me". He swallowed a part of cheese.
"Is that why you drank yesterday? You miss her?" Colin took another bite and nodded.
"I miss my friend".
"Your friend? Or more?" Colin didn't answer and ate a piece of stilton. "You'll be fine, brother. Before you know it, things will be back to normal".
"What if I don't want things to go back to normal?"
"Then, change them", answered Benedict, trying to take a bite from Colin's plate as the young man slap his fingers. "It's as simple as that".
The brothers were silent for quite a while. Was there anything to add? The drawing room door opening snapped them out of their slump.
"Pen!" Colin exclaimed, standing up when he saw his friend enter the room.
"Good day, Colin".
"Penelope", Benedict greeted with a nod. He grabbed the now empty plate from Colin's hands. "I think I'll leave you two to discuss", he said before exiting the room.
"Your brother knows?"
"The whole house knows. I wasn't exactly subtle last night. It wouldn't surprise me if it ended up in the Whisledown".
"I don't think it will be written in the Whisledown".
"I'm sorry, Pen".
"For yesterday?"
"Yes, and for what I said at your mother's ball. It was rude and vindictive of me. You deserve better". Penelope nodded.
"I deduced that you were sorry yesterday. As you said, you weren't discreet".
"Did I actually serenade you?" He asked, knowing full well the answer.
"It was rather enjoyable", she joked. "You have a nice voice". Colin chuckled as Penelope regained her seriousness. "You said things yesterday".
"I don't remember half of what I said..."
"Would you… like me to remind you?"
"It always depends on what I said", he tried to joke without much success then nodded.
"You asked me why I didn't reply to your letters".
"Sober Colin wonders that too".
"That you didn't want to hurt me".
"Which is true".
"You said you wanted to court me…"
Colin swallowed hard.
"And that you had fantasies that would be inappropriate to reminisce about this morning".
"Sorry", he said looking at his feet, embarrassed.
"And that…" Penelope hesitated.
"That… what?"
"That you love me".
Colin looked up at her and remained silent for quite a while. The words Benedict had spoken earlier came back to him. Alcohol doesn't make us say things we don't mean. He simply gives us the courage to do what we usually don't dare to.
"Did you mean it?"
He hesitated for a long time before nodding his head. He, who normally always had the right line, found himself without the words to express his feelings.
Penelope nodded.
"You know? I've waited all my life for you to make me a declaration of love and I'm a little disappointed that..."
He had cut her off with a fiery kiss. It was passionate, and ardent, and… just amazing.
"Sorry, I might still be a little drunk".
"It's fine", she said, smiling. "So, I understand that you intend to court me?" Colin nodded.
"I will call on you tomorrow morning", he smiled for the first time since he got up.
"And maybe you could finish that song?"
Colin laughed. He wasn't sure he remembered what song his drunken mind had concocted the night before, but he was pretty sure that he could sing love songs to Penelope Featherington for the rest of his life if that was what she wanted him to do.
The end?