Rachel sat with her mouth slightly agape in the passenger seat of Finn's truck as she slowly processed the informed Finn had just entrusted her with. She wasn't sure how to take it all, and she could tell by the tense was he gripped the steering wheel as he took the turns into his neighborhood that he fully expected her to freak out. Rachel licked her dry lips and brushed a lock her of dark hair behind her ear as she looked over to him. "So," she paused to clear her throat, "Steve is your business partner and your best friend and he's married to Alison who is by all accounts your ex wife." Her words came out almost as a question. "Please don't tell me Jace is your son." There was a slightly laugh at the end of her sentence.
"No, no he's one hundred percent Steve's I swear." Finn rambled out and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. From the corner of his eye he looked to Rachel silently wondering to himself if she was ready to leap out of the car and run at the next complete stop.
"I'm not surprised." She finally said after a few moments of silence. "Some people might be but I'm not surprised in the slightest. While I'm sure it bothered you and hurt you to have to endure that, forgiveness has always been in your nature. If anyone was going to be able to forgive and accept a situation such as yours it would be you." She pressed a smile at him before her attention turned to the house the truck was now parked in front of. "Is this is?" Rachel asked as her soft smile began to grow wider.
Finn let out a sigh of relief as he put the truck in park and looked over to Rachel. She had never ceased to amaze him, not once in the years he knew her and now her reaction to his news as if it were a normal situation just amazed him all over again. His eyes turned to his house and he nodded his head in its direction. "Yep this it is, I told you it wasn't much." He shrugged a small bit.
"It's…" She let out a breath as she tried to find the words to describe the small gray home in front of her. The home that belonged to Finn. The home, that no matter how much he shrugged sitting in the truck with her, she knew he took a great amount of pride in. "It's very you." Her lips curved into a larger smile as she clapped her hands together then lightly pushed on his shoulder. "Come on I want to see the inside."
"Alright," Finn said as they got out of the car and he led her up the five concrete steps of his porch and to his front door. "I promise I keep it clean so it's not going to look like a frat house or anything inside."
Rachel laughed at his comment as she watched him fumble with his keys. There was a nervous energy in the air between them. She was about to walk into his house for the first time, and he was about to show her his house for the first time. They weren't teenagers sneaking around; they were adults doing a very adult thing. Rachel fought the urge to smooth down a cal lick on the back of his hair as he pushed the door open the let her in.
Finn spread his arms out in a welcoming manner before he pointed to the left, "Welcome to my living room. Kitchen's that way there's some take out containers and a few drinks. Bathroom and my bedroom are down the hall. I'll show you what's up stairs in a second but feel free to walk around. I'm going to call Steve real quick let them know what the plan for the game is and everything. Help yourself to anything you can find." He gave her a quick half smile as he walked a few steps away to pull out his cell phone and call Steve. His eyes never left Rachel as he made the call. He watched her take in his house; she walked like she was walking on eggshells afraid she might break something even though there was nothing of real value in his house except maybe his television. But even with her careful walk she fit in so well in the surroundings, surroundings that belonged to him. His breath hitched as he caught sight of her standing in the kitchen looking at the pictures and menus hung up on the refrigerator with magnets.
Rachel carefully traced her fingers over one of the pictures; it was of Finn with Steve and Alison all three wearing some kind of Greek lettering and face paint. It was obviously taken during college, she wondered for a moment when during college it was taken. She wondered at what point in her life and where she had been when it was taken. And for the briefest of moments she let her mind wander and wonder how well she would have fit into a picture like this.
Her thoughts were snapped away as she felt Finn's presence behind her. "That was the Greek Wars, sophomore year." He said as if he could read her mind to answer a question she hadn't asked. "Right before Alison and I started dating. Steve was a junior. We roomed together from my second semester all the way until he graduated. He was the one who recruited me into the frat and at the first rush party of the year we met Alison. She was rushing the sister sorority. The three of us, we were all best friends. Even after Alison and me started dating we all stayed best friends. It was never like anyone was a third wheel." Finn paused and looked down at Rachel an honest half smile coming across his face, "It still isn't." He said softly before he nodded towards the stairs. "Come on I want to show you what sold me on this house." He reached down and without a second thought took Rachel's hand and began to tug her towards the staircase.
"I didn't go to their wedding. I actually regret it now because both of them have down everything they could to be a support system for me even if I didn't want it. But the morning they got married I was closing on this house. I was hurt and it felt like everything I got just kept getting taken away from me. First Quinn and the baby I thought was mine, and then you, then Alison and our baby and they were happy. They were honestly happy. And I hated them for it. I just wanted something I could call mine." He released her hand as they got to the top of the stairs. "The moment I walked into this room was when I knew this house could be something I could call mine."
Rachel fought back tears at his confession to her, the pain and the loneliness in his eyes breaking her heart. "Your dad's chair." She whispered as she pointed to the leather chair that sat near the window.
"I have my coffee there every morning. Look out that window and just watch the world outside move around me. Sometimes," he moved forward and gave a kick to the futon against the wall before he sat down on it. "Sometimes I even sleep right here. This room it's just peaceful. The world outside keeps moving but this room… This room never changes on me." His eyes followed Rachel as she moved gracefully around the room her body coming to a halt as she stopped at a picture hung on the wall.
"This is from our first Regionals," she whispered and lightly traced the frame with her finger before looking back at him. "I can't believe you still have that. Let alone have it displayed." Rachel whispered as she moved to sit down next to him, the feeling of the heat from his body making her heart race and her mouth go dry. All these years and he still had a picture of them. He still had a picture of them hanging in the room he considered his most peaceful place. She didn't know what to say about it or if there was anything to say about it. But her heart pounded as her body shifted closer to him.
"Some things you don't want to forget," he said softly as he swallowed and tilted his head down. "Some things you never forget." His voice whispered and again it was as if he were reading her mind. Rachel tongue darted out to wet her lips as he leaned down and she tilted her head up, the air around them completely still as their faces came closer, the feeling of his breath sent a shiver down her spine as their lips came within millimeters of each others.
"Fiiiiiinnnnnnn!"
They both jumped as a young voice cried out Finn's name followed by the sound of a door being slammed. Rachel leaned forward and pressed her face into Finn's shoulder from a moment and she felt his chest groan, then laugh slight. "Guess its game time." He mumbled giving her an apologetic half smile and waiting for his breath to come back to him before he stood up. "Come on." He said and extended his hand out to her, their moment broken up by no means forgotten. "It'll be fun I promise."
"Okay, I'm trusting you on this one." Rachel stand as she took his hand and let him help her up before they started down the stairs.
"Wait!" Finn stopped dead in his tracks and turned to rush back up the stairs. He returned almost before Rachel had a chance to process he was gone. "Here you go," he said as he placed a Reds hat onto her head and pushed her hair back behind her ears with a wide grin sprawled across his face. "Now you're ready."
"Ready? Sure if looking ridiculous ready," she joked as she poked her elbow into his side and they made their way downstairs to leave.
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Yawns could be heard throughout the truck as Finn pulled into the driveway of Steve and Alison's modest family home. "Are we home," the tired voice of the three year old boy in the back seat mumbled as they came to a stop.
"Yes sweetie, we're home. Come on we need to get you to bed." Alison said softly as she smoothed her hand over the boy's head.
"Finn, will you tuck me in. Please."
"Ah," Finn stuttered as he looked over to Rachel, then to the back seat.
"Finn, can tuck you in next time buddy. He needs to get Ms Rachel home." Steve answered not giving the situation time to get any more awkward for Rachel then he was sure it already was.
Rachel looked to the back seat as she reached over and ran her hand over Finn's. "No, it's okay. I'm in no hurry and actually would it be alright if I used your bathroom?" She politely asked giving the three passengers in the back seat a soft smile.
"Absolutely," Alison smiled back as she unbuckled her seat belt. "Follow me I'll show you the bathroom while the guys put Jace to bed."
The two women were silent as Rachel followed Alison into the house. Rachel could blame their silence on the hour of the night but really she knew it had to be awkward for her as well. As far as Rachel could tell Finn hadn't dated since the divorce and now his ex wife was leading the first girl he brought out in years into home her. Rachel took a deep breath as she walked into the house; yes it was definitely a bit weird.
"Excuse the mess, we were expecting company," Alison remarked as she turned on the lights. "The bathroom's just down the hallway there, first door on your left."
"Thank you," Rachel smiled as she made her way down the hallway catching quick glances of the pictures on the wall. Wedding pictures from her and Steve's wedding, baby pictures of Jace, but the one that caught her eye was one of Steve, Alison and Finn at their college graduation. A small pit formed in her stomach as she realized that Finn and Alison's were married at the time that picture was taken and had she not been wearing the graduation gown you might have even been able to see the faintest of evidence that she was carrying Finn's child.
The thought wasn't one Rachel wanted to dwell on. It was years ago, she hadn't been in the picture for years and it wasn't a situation that had concerned her. She tried to focus in on that thought. As she finished up in the bathroom all other thoughts were erased from her mind as she heard Finn's voice blending with Jace's and echoing softly down the hall.
"Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. I don't care if I never get back..."
Rachel leaned against the hallway wall, closing her eyes and letting out a soft sigh as her lips curled into a smile. Just the sound of his voice still melted her heart and the way it blended with the young boy's had been something she used to imagine him doing when they had children. Granted she had never imagined the song to be Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
"It's Jace's favorite song probably because he's been going to baseball games since before he could walk." Alison said as she caught sight of Rachel in the hallway. "Every night Finn stays long enough to tuck him in they have to sing it. Finn has to sing the whole thing and then they have to sing the chorus three times before Jace will go to bed." She held up three fingers at Rachel then nodded back towards the kitchen. "Steve went up to bed and they're going to be a few minutes. Can I get you a cup of coffee?"
"I'd like that, thank you." Rachel accepted the offer and turned to follow her into the kitchen.
"I'm not a threat to you," Alison said as she took cups from the cabinet and poured coffee for herself and Rachel. "It has to be a little strange for you. You were his high school love reconnecting with him and on your first date he's taking you out with his ex wife and her child and husband."
"Oh tonight wasn't a date." Rachel said quickly in a hope to end any assumptions.
"If that's what you two want to think that's fine. But I saw the way he was looking at you all night. And the way you were looking at him. Trust me tonight was a date. And I just want you to know that I'm no threat. I love my husband, and I love my son and I would never do anything to jeopardize that."
Rachel quietly sipped her coffee as she gave the woman in front of her a questioning glance. "If you don't mind me asking how did... I mean what... I'm not sure how to ask..."
"I never cheated on him. On Finn. He and I were over before anything ever happened with Steve. After I lost the baby Finn shut me out. He started bottling everything up. Building these walls around himself." Rachel watched as the emotions in Alison's eyes changed and drifted into the past.
"I tried to make it work. I tried to tell him and show him that losing the baby wasn't either of our faults and that I still loved him. But he just shut down. He told me once it didn't matter because every time he got a taste of happiness it was just going to be taken from him. Then he gave up. I was grieving too and instead of being my shoulder he just gave up." Alison paused and took a deep breath the memories surfacing obviously painful. "I never wanted to be someone who got divorce. Let alone someone who's marriage didn't even make it a year but I couldn't keep trying and I couldn't keep getting shut out. It hurt too much. So I moved out of our apartment and asked for a divorce. And Steve, well he was caught in the middle of it all. The three of us had been such great friends all through college and he didn't want to choose sides so he tried to be there for both of us. But just like I had lost my husband when Finn shut down, Steve had lost his best friend. So we turned into each other's shoulders and somewhere along the line we just... Fell in love. We didn't plan it or expect it. It just kinda happened." Alison's melancholy expression slowly turned into a smile as the memories she was reliving turned sweeter. "Sometimes the path you chose isn't the one you end up on. I thank God every night for Steve. Finn hardly spoke a word to either of us until Jace was born. It's funny how a child can change so much around you."
Rachel ran her finger over the handle of her coffee mug and glanced down the hall for any sign of Finn before turning her attention back to Alison. "When you and Steve got married that was when Finn bought his house."
"He bought that damn house and has kept himself locked inside it as much as possible ever since. Until now. I love my family and I want nothing more than for them to be happy. Finn just so happens to be a part of that family. I don't know what it is about you and I don't care because you..." Alison pointed a finger at Rachel and tried to conceal a smile. "You make him happy. Happier than I've seen him in a long time." Her smile faded quickly and she made a gesture to signal Rachel Finn was coming up behind her.
"You ready," Finn asked Rachel the words coming out in half a yawn. He watched as Rachel nodded and said her goodbyes to Alison. "Tell Steve I'll see him at the store on Monday."
"Will do. It was lovely meeting you Rachel, next time we'll plan it a little bit better." Alison grinned at her presumptuous words as she waved to them walking out the door.
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"You didn't have to stay at a hotel," Finn told Rachel as he pulled up to the front of the hotel she had booked for herself. "You could have stayed at my house. I have a couch, and a futon, and a bed. You could have slept in any one of those." He pressed a smile and the realized the words he had just said. "I mean I could have slept on the couch or the futon if you had wanted the bed," he began to ramble out.
Rachel laughed and shook her head. "It's okay Finn I know what you meant. But I was showing up unannounced I didn't want to just assume. I mean I'm sure it's rare you have overnight guests."
"Never actually, unless Puck or Jace counts. But you could have called first and then it wouldn't have been assuming."
"I didn't want…" Rachel stopped midsentence before she had the chance to stumble over her words. Again the air between the stood still and this time Rachel held her breath in anticipation.
"You didn't want what?" Finn asked cocking his head back at her, his defense starting to go up as his mind raced at how she could possibly finish her sentence. She didn't want to be depressed? Didn't want to be a part of his damage? His thoughts pushed him to assume.
"I didn't want you to tell me not to come," she said softly and watched as Finn's twisted expression relaxed into a smile.
"I don't think I would have been able to tell you not to come. Even if I hadn't wanted you to." Finn let out a sigh again thinking he had said the wrong thing. Words were not his strong suit right then. "I had good time tonight Rachel."
"I had a really great time too. Best time I've had in a while. I've really missed you Finn Hudson." The air around them began to move again and Rachel began to wonder if the moment they shared in Finn's home had just been nothing more than a moment. It was a thought she didn't want to dwell on or explore right then. If nothing else she wanted to get out of his truck on the best note possible. If she never saw him again she wanted to remember exactly how happy and easy everything seems right there in his truck. So instead of lingering around she reached over and placed her hand on the door handle to push the door half open. "I should get some sleep. My Dads will be home tomorrow and I'm sure it will be non-stop activities until I head back to New York Monday." Her body turned to get out of the car.
"Hey Rachel," he said as he reached out to grab her wrist and stop her from getting to far away from him. "Next time. I want you to assume." Their eyes met and the couple smiled at each other, the electricity back in the air but neither quite sure how to proceed with the moment. It had been years since Finn had even thought more than a couple of days into his future and now he was basically asking Rachel to tell him there would be a next time. His grip on her wrist relaxed and her hand slid up his arm to reach his face. Their eyes stayed locked on each other as her fingers traced over the contours of his face and ghosted over his lips.
"Next time." Rachel whispered as she slowly traced her fingers over his lips then removed her hand. Finn nodded and smiled as she got out of the car and closed the door. He sat still in his truck watching her until she disappeared inside, his body still feeling the fire her light touch had created. "Next time," he whispered as her words rang over and over in his head.