Olivia's Dark Nights

Disclaimer: The characters are only on temporary loan. They will be returned to their rightful owner.

Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in chapters. I have really missed writing this! Is anyone still interested in reading? Pretty please review! It rocks my socks!

Chapter 17

Olivia was having a hard time adjusting to the routine of the hospital. Everything was so regimented. Everyday things were done according to schedule. Everyone was forced to get up at seven. Meals were served at the same exact second everyday. Therapy and activities were held at the exact same time everyday. Olivia had spent so many years as a cop that she was used to having no set schedule. She worked irregular hours; sometimes a shift would stretch into three days. She ate when she had time, and skipped meals when she was busy. She canceled a lot of dates because of scheduling issues. The strict scheduling made her feel as if she were back in high school with nuns hovering over her to get to class on time. The only things that were missing were the lockers.

A wave of relief washed over her after Melinda called with the negative results of her STD screening that morning. The level of relief she felt was unprecedented. She was still feeling extreme guilt and disgust over what she did, but at least she knew she wouldn't suffer any permanent physical harm from the ordeal.

Olivia was having a hard time opening up in group therapy. She couldn't speak freely in front of a group of strangers. A lot of the other patients seemed a lot "crazier" then she was. Olivia had issues with cutting, but she didn't hear voices or think she was a kangaroo like some other group members. She couldn't relate to people like that. Compared to most other patients, Olivia was normal. She needed to be in group with other normal people. She knew that her therapist was taking notes about her lack of participation, but she had nothing to say to people who were on their own planet.

Individual therapy wasn't quite as bad as group. Olivia was surprisingly comfortable with her therapist. For the first time in her life, she opened up. She didn't say she was "fine." They talked a lot about Olivia's childhood, and how it was growing up with an alcoholic mother. They talked about her career, her love life, or lack there of, and most importantly her relationship with Elliot.

"So Elliot is your partner?"

"Yes, for ten years. We're more then partners. We're best friends. Just recently he told me he loves me."

"How does that make you feel?"

"For the first time in a long time, I don't feel empty inside. I know we're soul mates. He was married for a long time, and recently got divorced. He finally made the move I've been waiting for. I know he has kids, but I think it will actually work out."

"So you've had a lot of bad relationships?"

"I've been the grand marshal of the yutz parade for so long that I'd forgotten what a real relationship is; and what love is. Elliot is like a breath of fresh air."

Later that afternoon, Olivia was sitting on her bed thinking of how things could be with her and Elliot after she returned to normal life. She had wanted a relationship with him for so long that she couldn't believe it had finally happened. She wished he could be here with her now. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted bury her face in his chest, and inhale his intoxicating fragrance. She wanted to be done with this place. It was time to move on with her life.

She hoped Casey would stop by that evening. She got caught up in a trial, and hadn't come to visit yet. She had been worried about her since she noticed the cuts on Casey's arm. Casey was stubborn just like Olivia; when confronted, she would say she was "fine," even if she was dying. She needed to know the truth. She didn't want Casey to have a breakdown like her own.

There was an announcement over the P.A. system. "Arts and Crafts for group E will begin in the art room in ten minutes."

Olivia rolled her eyes. The stupid activities were annoying her. Olivia was a decent artist, something very few people knew about her. She was a studio arts minor in college. She could draw and paint very well. However, "arts and crafts" at the hospital was more of something out of the kinder academy. There were no canvases and paints. Those were replaced with construction paper, glue, feathers, and crayons. She had no idea how kiddie art would help her heal. She had heard of art therapy, but this nonsense was far from that. She forced herself to go down to her assigned activity. After that, she would be forced to endure bingo. She really hoped Casey would come tonight. She needed to talk to someone "real." She needed to get away from this madness, even for an hour.

As she had hoped, Casey arrived promptly after dinner. She was so happy to have a visitor. Now, she could be excused from the evening boring movie.

Casey and Olivia exchanged a huge hug. "Case I'm so glad to see you!" Casey looked exhausted. She looked kind of frail, and had dark circles under her eyes.

"How are you holding up in here? Is it as bad as it looks?"

"Casey it's awful, it's like summer camp for the insane. I'm the most normal person in here, but I'm still lumped together with the fruit loops. The individual therapy is fine, but group therapy is a waste of time. I can't talk about my innermost feelings with people who think they are wild animals, or who think they are being watched by the government through the TV!"

"Munch would fit in just fine here!"

They both laughed,

"Casey they don't let you get a moment of peace. There are forced activities for every second not spent in therapy. Casey, it's all stupid stuff; kiddie crafts, volley ball, flower arranging. This isn't helping at all. My anxiety has increased tenfold since I've been locked up here."

"I'll talk to Huang. Maybe there is something he can do."

"So Casey, how are you doing."

"I'm fine, same old same old. I'm sorry I took so long to get up here. I've had a lot of trial prep for the Hudgens case. I haven't left my office in days."

"Casey you look really worn down. Are you taking care of yourself?"

"I'm okay Liv. Don't worry about me. Just the standard job stress."

Olivia had to say what was on her mind. It was now or never.

"Casey, I know you're still cutting yourself."

Casey looked away from Olivia. She didn't come here to talk about her own problems.

"Seriously Casey, what's going on with you?"

Casey tried to hold in her tears, but was unsuccessful. Her eyes began to glisten with moisture, then heavy tears began to roll down her face.

"I don't even know where to start. You missed a lot since you've been away at the beach, and now here."

"Nick and I finally broke up. He was moving to Miami, and neither of us wanted a long distance relationship. I was sad about it, but in all honesty I think it was time for both of us to move on."

"Casey, I'm sorry. You guys were together for like two years."

"Off and on, yeah, but I'm okay with it. But last week, a few days before you were found, something happened to me.

Olivia's eyes were wide with concern.

I was in my office late. I had horrific cramps. I could barely stand up. I thought I was getting my period. I went to the bathroom, but when I stood up my chair was saturated with blood. When I got to the hospital, the doctor told me I had a miscarriage. I was about eight weeks along. I didn't even know I was pregnant."

Olivia hugged Casey tightly. "I'm so sorry Casey."

"Casey was sobbing. So am I Liv. I mean, I wasn't planning for a baby, and didn't think I wanted a baby, but since the miscarriage, that baby is all I can think about. It's devastating."

"Is that why you've been cutting?"

"Liv, I lied to you. I never actually stopped cutting. I had it under control for a long time, but it never really stopped. After what happened, it got out of control again."

Casey was practically whispering at this point. "Last week I cut my arms so badly I had to go in and get stitches. The last time that happened I was twenty. I was scared Liv. I could recognize the path I was going down."

"Casey what are you going to do?"

"Obviously the doctors knew the injuries were self inflicted. I had to agree to treatment, or they would have forcibly committed me. I spent a few days in the psych ward. Now I'm in therapy three times a week, and I have to check in daily. It's still a serious problem, but it's back under control."

Later that night, Olivia laid in her bed with the covers up to her chin. She kept replaying Casey's story in her mind. She felt guilty that she wasn't there for Casey when she needed her. She could see the emotional toll taken on Casey. She hoped she could overcome her own demons and return to her own life. She was needed. Her friends relied on her. When she wasn't around she was missed. That was comforting to Olivia. She really wasn't alone.

Olivia couldn't fall asleep. After some tossing and turning, she got up and went to the kitchenette for a drink. She was suddenly very thirsty. As she pulled an individual orange juice out of the refrigerator, a woman stepped out from behind the kitchen door, and came up behind Olivia. The hairs on Olivia's neck stood up. The woman grabbed her and held a knife to Olivia's throat. She dragged her out to the main living area.

"She's a spy," the woman screamed. "She's reading my mind! She's stealing my memories! It's a conspiracy!"

Olivia's heart was pounding in her chest. She realized this was Mildred from one of her groups. She seemed to always stare at Olivia. The nurses sprang into action. The alarms began to go off.

"She was sent here to destroy me! She must die!"

Swarms of doctors and nurses were now in the room. The look in this woman's eyes scared Olivia. She had seen that look before. This woman was serious.

"Mildred, calm down. Olivia isn't here to harm you. She is just a patient. Why don't you put the knife down?"

"No, she's a spy! She is transmitting my brainwaves to Sputnik! Gorbachev sent her to destroy me!"

For a moment, Olivia thought she was dreaming. This couldn't be happening to her. This was supposed to be a safe place. They kept the really crazy people housed in a different unit!"

"I need aluminum foil," Mildred screamed. "I need to stop the transmission!"

A doctor nodded, and a nurse went to retrieve a roll of aluminum foil. When she returned, Mildred instructed her to wrap it around Mildred's head. "It's the only way to stop them!"

Mildred pressed the knife deeper into Olivia's skin.

"Mildred, let her go! If you let her go, I'll call Gorbachev and tell him to stop destroying you. He'll listen to me Mildred we're good friends," said a younger doctor.

"Not just Gorbachev! Hitler is after me too! He wants me to lead the troops out of Germany! If he finds out I'm Jewish, he'll kill me!"

"Mildred, we'll hide you here. No one will find you!"

"I don't believe you! She must die! It's the only way to save myself!"

Mildred moved the knife from Olivia's throat and how had it positioned against her cheek. "When I cut her she will bleed green! She's an alien sent by the Russian spies!"

"Mildred, don't hurt her!"

"Victory is mine," Mildred screamed as she slashed the knife across Olivia's face. She pushed her to the floor, and kicked her in the face. Blood began to gush. Olivia was in shock. She didn't feel the blade cut her skin. She didn't remember hitting the floor. Mildred's kick caused an instant horrific pain in her head. She felt something warm and sticky oozing down. Red was pooling around her. Was this her blood? What happened?

This wasn't happening. She was dreaming. She kept waiting to wake up, and nothing happened.

I feel like I've neglected this story lately. I need to finish it! I want to write a few more chapters, then wrap it up. There may be a sequel. If anyone is still reading, please let me know. Reviews keep me going! Please hit that green button!