Chapter 4: Reality

The diagnostics bay was seemingly devoid of life, the lights dimmed from the prolonged absence of movement. Once Prowl moved further into the room the lights fully activated and he could see his surroundings. He was still quite unfamiliar with the diagnostics bay, as he was only here once before for a systems check before beginning his duties as Second in Command. Everything had a place and was in it: shining tools, scanning devices, diagnostic tables, all arranged to maximize maneuverability in the case of an emergency.

At the far end of the diagnostics bay was the entrance to Ratchet's office. Prowl made his way over to the office and knocked quietly.

"Yeah, come in, what is it?" Prowl heard Ratchet say from beyond the door. Prowl pressed a command button and the door opened for him, revealing Ratchet sitting at his desk with a cube of energon in one hand and a data pad in the other.

"Oh, hello Prowl," he said, setting the pad and cube down and standing up. "What brings you down here?"

Prowl hesitated ever so slightly before asking, "I was wondering if you had time to run a full systems diagnostic. I haven't been feeling quite normal lately."

Ratchet's expression took on a hint of concern. "Well, we certainly don't want our Second in Command feeling less than one hundred percent operational. Just give me a minute to get the scanning devices ready."

Prowl waited somewhat anxiously in the small examination room for the diagnostic results. The diagnostic didn't take any longer than it should have, but he was still aware of how much work he had to do, and how precious having time to do work is during a war. He sat on the diagnostic table in silence, wondering what was taking so long for Ratchet to return. He was relieved when Ratchet finally reentered the room.

"Well, I have good news and bad news," Ratchet announced. Prowl braced himself for whatever news he was about to reveal. His hope was that whatever virus he had was curable, but his processor briefly flashed fearful scenarios of losing his rank due to some horrific infection…

"The good news is you're functioning optimally. Not a thing's wrong with you. The bad news is that I will never get the time spent on that disgnostic back, and I have loads of data pads to go over before the– "

"Wait, so I don't have a virus?"

"Nope. According to the results, you're a perfectly healthy mech." Ratchet smiled lightly. "You have nothing to worry about, at least as far as your health is concerned."

Prowl pondered this for a moment, and Ratchet caught the look of confusion on his face. "Is there something wrong?"

Prowl looked at Ratchet, "No, just…I was positive the results would show a virus of some sort. I haven't been acting quite like myself at all lately. I was sure that a virus was the explanation."

"Hmm," Ratchet thought and rested a hand on his chin, "Have you considered that maybe your promotion is affecting you more than you're aware of? Being Second in Command, although it's a high honor, is also a stressful job – doubly so during wartime."

Prowl was considering what Ratchet said when he continued, "You know, I'm not only the head mechanical officer on base, I have counseling certification as well. If there's anything you need to get off your processor, whatever it is, it doesn't leave this room. "

"Well, I have been thinking a lot lately…" Prowl wondered how much he should say about his situation. He wasn't sure how Ratchet would react if he learned this whole thing was about a femme. And now that Prowl knew there was no virus involved after all, he had to admit what he was so stubbornly denying before the diagnostic, even though in the back of his thoughts he knew it was true…

"Well? What have you been thinking about?" Ratchet set down the data pad containing the diagnostic results on a countertop and sat on the examination table an arm's length from Prowl. "And I can assure you, whatever it is I will handle it professionally. There's no need to be bashful here."

This last statement helped reassure the young Second in Command a bit. He had a hard enough time engaging in typical conversations, but the thought of telling someone about what he had been going through for the past few days made him nervous. However, Ratchet seemed to be in a helpful mood, and Prowl thought maybe he would offer some advice if he knew his situation.

Taking a moment to organize his words, Prowl hoped he wouldn't regret this.

"Quite a few weeks ago I met one of the new recruits. We usually refuel together, and we've become good friends. I just…" Ratchet nodded encouragement when Prowl became tentative to continue. "…I find myself sometimes thinking thoughts about her that I think I shouldn't be." Prowl spoke slowly. This was a lot harder to put into words than he thought it would be. "I mean…she's a fellow Autobot and a good friend, but sometimes I will think of her in a different way before I'm even conscious that I'm thinking it. And when I'm with her, I feel different than I've ever felt before."

Prowl worried that what he was saying sounded silly, but Ratchet's face looked thoughtful. "Well, what kind of thoughts and feelings are you having about her?"

Good Primus, that information was the last thing Prowl wanted to share with anyone. Ratchet must have seen the unintentional look of slight panic in Prowl's optics, because he continued, "You don't have to be specific. Remember, you don't need to talk about anything you feel uncomfortable about."

Once again the mechanic's words helped reassure Prowl, although it was still a difficult subject for him to talk about. "I have thoughts of her… being more than just a friend," Prowl thought that was the least awkward way to get his point across. "And it's started affecting my work. I'll be working on a strategic plan or some other assignment I have to work on, and all of a sudden I will think of her. It becomes difficult to focus on the task at hand."

Ratchet smiled a little. "Prowl, if I may say this so bluntly without offending you, it sounds like you have a crush."

Prowl looked blankly at the floor. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "Okay, maybe I do. Maybe I have for a while. So, how can I get myself to stop thinking about her so much? Whenever I spend time with her, I just want to be with her even more. It's like a cycle that I can't stop–"

"And why do you see that as such a bad thing?" Ratchet said. Prowl looked up at him. "Maybe this is a good thing for you. Spending intimate time with someone close to you can be good for the both of you."

Prowl looked at the wall and remained silent. But nothing intimate will ever happen. I'm not Jazz or Tracks or Sunstreaker…I can't keep a femme happy, Prowl thought to himself.

"Have you asked her out?" Ratchet asked.

Prowl almost doubled back. "What? No. I don't even know if she's seeing someone else…"

"Well, you have nothing to lose if you ask her as a friend. Things will progress later on if she wants them to, but if you want to pursue her you have to make the first move. Ask her out."

Prowl thought about this. There weren't many places he went out to. He kept mostly to himself except when Jazz and some other friends dragged him to a club or energon bar. But there was one place he was fond of…

"You're right Ratchet." Prowl found a new sense of hope within himself. Besides, there's no law that only the extroverted, high-maintenance bots get femmes. And he was already friends with her, so why couldn't they be more?

"Thanks for listening Ratchet, I really needed that talk," Prowl said as he got up to leave.

"No problem," Ratchet gathered up the data pad and headed toward his office, smiling inwardly. He wondered which lucky femme caught the typically standoffish Second in Command's attention.

Prowl set off to his own office, his steps lighter and quicker than usual. He didn't have a virus after all – so he couldn't deny it any longer. He was in love.