Chapter 72: She's Awake
Derek sat as patiently as he could while watching Meredith's chest rise and fall for two hours. He tried to ignore the constant rhythm of the machines hooked up to her. He knew the machines were only monitoring her heart rate, but it didn't make him feel any better. He just wanted her to fully wake up. He was told she had woken up briefly before the nurse brought her back from recovery but had pain medication pumping through her body.
"Still not awake?" Alex said in a whisper.
"I keep hoping any second." Derek looked up at Alex.
"I brought you shitty hospital coffee. It is pretty late, and I know you haven't slept."
"Thanks." Derek took the coffee and took a few quick sips knowing he was tired and needing to sleep. After a few minutes of sitting, Derek spoke up, "Why don't you go on back to the hotel and sleep for a while." He was glad when Ellis left an hour ago.
"I will if you will let me sit with her tomorrow while you get some sleep."
"I have to be here." Derek kissed Meredith's hand softly.
"You need to sleep. You are no good to her if you fall out from exhaustion."
"I will sleep some here tonight. I am good." Derek turned to Alex and turned his lips in a slight smirk, "You know, us enlisted guys pull all-nighters nighters all of the time after working all day. It is what we do to keep your ass in the air."
Alex's expression dropped at the same Derek's did, both thinking the same thing. What does the future have in store for them? All of them?
They sat quietly as a few more long minutes passed. Alex stood up slowly, "Do you need anything?"
"You heading out?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks, but I am good." Derek responded.
"See you tomorrow. Try to get some sleep. You also may want to shave. Technically you are on duty." Alex reminded him.
"Shit. Yeah. I need to do that. Have a good night."
After Alex walked out of the room, Derek turned on the TV, turning the volume down very low. He wasn't really watching anything, just had it on more for the noise.
"Roseanne?" He heard a raspy voice beside him speak out.
Derek turned his head to Meredith, smiling the entire time. "You're awake. Do you need anything? The nurse said you would be thirsty. There is some water, but it has probably gotten to room temperature. I can get ice; it is right down the hall."
Meredith tried to laugh, but ended up coughing due to the hoarseness of her throat. "Derek, you sound like me. Any water…" She coughed again and before she could say anything, Derek had the water poured and the straw ready for her. She had a full brace for her back and couldn't really move much.
"Thank you." Meredith smiled at Derek as he stood over her with a comforting smile.
"Are you feeling okay?" Derek tenderly moved her hair out of her face a bit.
"I just had surgery. I am doped up on meds, I feel great." She crinkled her nose and made a funny smile while still feeling groggy.
"Well, okay. Sorry for asking." Derek bent down to kiss her lips softly. And stood back up as their eyes expressed their love for each other.
Breaking the silence, "So… am I going to be okay? How was the surgery?"
"It sounded like it went well." Derek knew it went as well as expected which frightened him. They were told there would be a long recovery with a possibility of more surgeries.
"But?" Meredith could tell there was something more.
"It went well. It will be a long recovery."
"We knew that. I will recover and get back in the air." Meredith said determined.
Derek didn't know what to say. No one talked about it, but he was pretty sure flying would not be a possibility. "Why don't we focus on you getting better." Derek said as a statement more than a question.
"Derek." Meredith whispered knowing he was averting the statement.
"Meredith, I love you. I want you to have a full recovery." Derek said sincerely.
Meredith looked at him, "You just want me to be able to do the bendy thing in the shower."
Derek shook his head, laughing slightly, "Well, that is one or many reasons for a full recovery, like marrying you. You have to be able to walk down the aisle."
Meredith's eyes widened.
Derek felt the knot in his stomach not even realizing the enormity of his comment to her until he saw her reaction and backtracked to what he just said. "I didn't... no marrying."
"You don't want to marry me?" Meredith saw the panicked look on Derek's face.
"No." Derek said but realized Meredith's expression drop. "Maybe we need to talk about this another time. You just had surgery."
"Oh. Okay." Meredith closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling that were quickly pooling in her eyes. She could blame the medication.
Derek took a deep breath before speaking ever so slightly, "Open your eyes."
Meredith slowly opened her eyes before Derek spoke as quiet as before, "Meredith, I love you. I do want to marry you one day. I have no idea if or when that can even happen, but that is my hope. If it is too much, maybe the medicine will cause you to forget this entire conversation."
Meredith couldn't help but let out a breath of relief. "I love you too. Somehow, someway, it will happen. I want it to happen, I want to marry you."
Derek bent down to kiss her again, this time a little less soft than before until they heard the door open. Derek immediately moved away from the bed and cleared his throat.
The naval officer who was the on-call doctor for the night shift gave Derek a hard look before speaking, "How is Ms. Grey doing?"
"She is awake." Derek said cautiously.
"Good." The doctor walked over to her bed, "Ms. Grey, how are you feeling? Any discomfort?"
"Not really. I do think the pain medicine is starting to wear off a bit."
"It has been 4 hours, so it is time. I will send the nurse in to administer them." The doctor checked a few other things.
"Everything looks good. If you need anything, please let us know. I know your mother well." The doctor added as if he was someone of importance for, knowing Ellis Grey.
"Thank you." Meredith noticed the looks the doctor had given Derek. She wasn't quite sure what he may have witnessed.
"Petty Officer Shepherd, can I speak with you a minute?" The doctor asked.
"Yes sir." Derek said more formal than was probably necessary being Derek wasn't in uniform. He had a feeling this wasn't good.
He looked back at Meredith who had a concerned look on her face. He followed the doctor into the hallway as the doctor turned back to face Derek eye to eye. Before Derek could say a word, the doctor spoke first.