Chapter 75: Choices and Frustrations

Meredith, Derek, and Alex had settled in the house nicely. Ellis had gone back home for the time being. Alex had been helping out whenever he was asked. He had noticed very early on that Derek wanted to take care of her. At first, Alex was a little pissed about it, but realized Derek wanted to be there for her in every way. Alex was more than happy Meredith had found a man like Derek who loved her no matter what. She deserved it more than anyone.

Derek walked into the living room after helping Alex clean up the kitchen. They decided to set the living room up so that Meredith could easily spend time in her room and the living room. Thankfully, she had the master bedroom that Derek had moved his things into. The others in the squadron had finished up picking up the pieces of the plane and had been back for a few days. Mark brought some clothes and other things for Derek.

"I think I am going to get to bed. I have an early morning in the morning." Alex said from the kitchen.

"You start back tomorrow?" Derek asked.

"Yeah. They gave me a few weeks off, but I have to go back in tomorrow. I am just not ready for all of the damn questions." Alex said.

"I think my phone has rang nonstop wondering where I am." Derek said casually, sitting down beside Meredith, wrapping his arm carefully around her. But she quickly moved out of it and winced. She often forgot her movements were still limited.

"You can go back you know. I can take care of myself." Meredith snapped while trying very hard to sit up on her own. She was doing her best to hide her pain.

"I am just going to go." Alex said quickly. It seemed Derek and Meredith had been getting along well, but knew things were getting tenser. Meredith wanted to do things on her own, but it just wasn't possible right now and they all knew it. One of them just didn't want to face it.

Meredith nor Derek replied to Alex. Alex looked back at Derek, an unspoken word of encouragement. He wondered how much longer Derek could take the small comments that were bound to be building up.

"You need to go back to work." Meredith said, not letting the subject drop.

"This is my work right now. My orders are to take care of you." Derek said clearly keeping the distance Meredith had created.

"I am sure they don't mean for you to be with me 24/7. I am sure many people would be interested to know you are here, sleeping in my bed." Meredith said coldly.

Derek looked at her in disbelief. "Do you not want me here?"

"What I want is to walk, run, go to work, and fly." Meredith said frustratingly.

"Is that all you care about? Do you not care about me? About us? Have you even considered this could be the answer we have been looking for?" Derek continued to keep eye contact with her. He had been thinking a lot lately and knew what a medical retirement would mean; the two of them could be together. She technically would not be in the military anymore; getting married, having kids, and being together in all ways would be possible.

"What in the hell are you talking about Derek? Do you not want me to fly again?" Meredith asked, raising her voice loudly.

Derek took a deep breath, needing to keep his voice calm. "Meredith, I would do anything to get you in the air again. It is your passion. Is there a chance at new passions?"

"I have never even considered anything other than flying. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being the best female pilot ever. I didn't dream of being a doctor, a lawyer, or anything else. This is all I have ever known." Meredith explained in a somewhat calmer voice.

"Maybe it is time to find a new passion." Derek said, hoping this didn't upset her too much. He broke eye contact with her and looked down somewhat nervous.

Meredith was quiet, not sure what to say. She knew for certain she loved Derek. She was frustrated beyond words and couldn't have the most important thing to her. Although, she considered was it really the most important thing to her anymore. Meredith ran all of the thoughts in her head. She wondered what it would mean for her and Derek. Would it be possible they could be together, no secrets?

Derek noticed Meredith chewing on bottom lip. He knew she was contemplating something important. He just wondered what it was.

Slowly, Meredith settled herself closer to Derek and sighed relief when he opened his arms up for her to take her place within them. She wasn't sure how this would all turn out, but one thing was certain, she loved the man in her arms.

Derek smiled the second he noticed her moving to him and gladly took her in his arms. He knew this was just the beginning to a long journey ahead, but they were together, and it was going to take more than this to shy him away. He wrapped her up making sure she was comfortable and whispered as her eyes fell shut, "I love you."