Chapter Fifteen- Woe Me
[Dan's P.O.V.]
I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where it was just absolute fun. I mean Waldorf was literally the one thing that made me fun and made me want to be fun for her even when I didn't feel in the mood to be fun. Laying on top of her as we slowly reach our peek, I find myself needing to kiss her…needing some form of touch from her. Her hands are tangled up in my hair as I kiss her so tenderly as if I wanted to preserve each kiss in my memory bank. Breaking away from the kiss, I look into her eyes as I give one final thrust that causes both of our bodies to tremble. With our faces just inches away from each other, she closes her eyes and just smiles up at me and in this moment I swear she could be an angel sent from above that I was suppose to spend my high school hell and the string of bad romances just to get to her. Rolling over onto my back we both just began to laugh from this unspoken joke that we both just happened to know, and usually I would have been paranoid that she was laughing after sex but hearing her laughter had become something that I needed on a daily basis, and I was glad that I was the one she was laughing with while others caught her wrath. Pulling her towards me, I begin to push away a strand of hair that rested on her face before she leans in to give me a kiss.
"Your very sneaking Humphrey" Blair said to me after she broke the kiss as I rested my head in the crook of her neck
"How am I tricky?" I pull back to ask her
"Because I've seen you writing. I've seen you writing a lot, almost makes me wonder if your beginning some new fantasy about a dream girl" Blair said
"Oh, she's a dream girl all right" I joked before she quickly hit me in the chest before I pulled her in once more for another kiss "I've found inspiration, nothing more to it" I said
"What's the story about?" Blair asked "I mean I probably know that it centers around a sexually frustrated Brooklyn boy…that does seem to be your premise for everything" she joked
"It's a good recipe" I replied
"Yeah, a recipe in which you could get food poisoning…why can't the story be about an upper eastsider…in a positive manner" Blair said
"I write your kind in a positive manner, I just put a touch of realism. I can't help if your realism is drugs, parties, sex, and more drugs, parties, and sex" I laughed
"The depiction is far from accurate, and its not like you can stray away from the stereotype. You've become accustomed to the Upper eastside lifestyle, so much so that your father got seduced and is now living it" Blair said
"My father is having a lapse in judgment, an overdose of amnesia" I quickly replied
"Your father is happy" Blair then said
"He's vacationing" I then said "He's off in some foreign land taking a vacation and has yet to realize that he needs to go home" I told her as she just looked at me with a bit of shock in her face
"Wow, since when did you become a snob. This is such the role reversal" Blair laughed
"I'm not a snob" I then replied
"You're a moral snob" Blair teased
"Oh, don't call me that!" I groaned "I'm being honest, you do want me to be honest right?" I asked her
"Honesty is good, but your confirming thoughts I had about you since I first engaged in conversation with you…Dan Humphrey is a snob" Blair joked before I finally got up and straddled her then began to tickle her that lead to a fit of laughter as she tried to stray "Get off me snob!" she called out as she laughed hysterically
"Don't call me a snob" I then told her as I continued my rampage of tickles
"You're a snob" Blair laughed "Just admit it" she went on to say
"I'm not a snob" I said finding that my attention was turning elsewhere with her as I leaned in to kiss her. For a moment we went back in forth in controlling the kiss as she would capture my top lip while I deepened the kiss and I would slide my tongue in so that it glided it against hers. Recapturing her control, Blair rolled on top of me.
"Yeah, you are" Blair said as she broke the kiss to smile at me before she pulled the covers over us as it was clear we were on our way to another session of love making before her cell phone began to ring
"I think that's yours" I whispered to her as I pulled back the covers to look over at the nightstand
"Ugh, it might be S. I told her we'd do breakfast" Blair said as she leaned over to grab her phone only to see that it wasn't Serena that was calling on the caller identification "Hello" she then answered and in the next few moments her facial expression had gone from annoyance to concern as she quickly got off of me and began to sit up in the bed. "I'm on my way" she said before she hung up the phone
"What's wrong?" I asked her as I leaned over to grab my boxers
"My mom. She had a heart attack" Blair told me and that was all I needed to hear before I jumped out of bed and began to get dressed.
[Blair's P.O.V.]
My mind was racing. That's all I could chalk the mistake up to as all I was concerned about was getting to the hospital as soon as possible. The mistake you may ask, well I made the mistake of not planning out our arrival strategy. Humphrey and I had been in such a rush to leave the loft that we took the same cab over to the hospital. I know its stupid of me to think about that when my mother was laying ill in a low thread count hospital bed, but I should have been smarter. I should have done a lot things, I knew my mother wasn't taking care of herself and I just turned a blind eye to it. Stepping off the elevator, I made a mad dash down the hall before I finally saw Darota sitting out in the hallway. I would love to say that I was glad to see Darota, but a part of me felt upset and angry…like she had done this. In my mind I knew that Darota would never harm my mother, hell she was like a second mother to me but a part of me just felt so hurt at this point.
"How is she?" I immediately asked
"She's doing good. Her doctors says that she is resting and will be fine" Darota replied
"And does she have to have surgery or anything? Tell me the important things not the stuff that is pointless" I snapped at her
"No. They have prescribed medicine and lots of rest" Darota replied
"And where were you when this happened? Where were you when she was eating all this bad stuff?" I asked not caring so much about tone anymore
"Blair, calm down" Dan told me as he motioned to touch me but I moved away, not wanting another lapse in judgment to occur between us
"Your mother has been working long hours with this new line coming out, I have implemented the foods that you have set out but she eats out a lot at work" Darota said "She hardly eats at home" she said
"Where is Cyrus?" Dan then asked
"I'm not worried about that right now, I'm worried about why my mother is laying in a hospital bed Humphrey" I snapped at him "I want you to bring linen and change the linen on her bed, she should be sleeping comfortably not on some flea fest of sheets. I want a fresh batch of orchards put in the room so it will ease the relaxation process. Then inform the hospital staff not to bring her water nor ice cubes, she will only drink Evian water that you give to her. Pick up two gowns from her favorite designer…are you writing this down?" I then asked as I noticed while I was listing what my mother needed that Darota just stood mute
"Yes, Ms. Blair…I memorize everything that she will need and will come back with all of the items" Darota assured me "I will do everything in my power to help your mother's relaxation" she said
"You've done enough, just do your job now" I replied as she looked on sadly at me. I could tell that my last words were the final words that caused her to tear up as I made it clear that I was upset with her and that she had failed me
"I will do better" Darota agreed before she quickly went about her tasks while Humphrey walked in front of me
"You were a little hard on her Waldorf" Dan said
"I wasn't hard enough. My mother is in hospital bed Humphrey" I replied
"I know that, but Darota didn't put her there" Dan said
"She might as well have. I'm not home so I need someone to look out for her, there is only so much that I can do" I said trying not to become emotional but I couldn't help it. Doing my best to avoid eye contact with Humphrey, I knew that he just wanted to hold me and this point I couldn't push him away when the only thing that felt comforting to me would be to have his arms around me
"She'll be fine" Dan whispered to me as he looked around a bit before I leaned into his chest feeling as if he had become my pillow "She'll be fine, okay" he assured me as he rubbed my back and in that moment I just started to believe what he was saying, like he was some sort of prophet. Just as I began to melt away in his embrace, I quickly began to smell Serena's scent…I've known that scent ever since I was a little girl, it's the only one she ever wore. Pulling away from his embrace, I could see she looked on a bit confused but I had to play the role of the distraught daughter or else this would be a moment of deeper sorrow if she even suspected. Quickly running over towards her, I wrapped my arms around her.
"I'm so glad you're here" I told her as she just held on to me and for a moment Humphrey and I had manage to escape
[Dan's P.O.V]
With Serena's appearance my presence had to be scarce because it would have been a bit strange if I was comforting Waldorf. I had come up on occasions to check in on them to let them know that I was still there, but even that was sounded suspect. Through out the day the only way Waldorf and I spoke was through text messages to where it felt like she was with me even though she really wasn't. I wish that I could be with her, texts were such an informal way of having a conversation with someone, especially when all you wanted was to just be near the person let alone hold them. Drowning my sorrows in my cup of coffee, I just sat in the cafeteria awaiting another text from Waldorf as I just tried to occupy myself by writing the next chapter of Uptown Girl. Writing had seemed to be therapy for me as even though I couldn't be with her physically, I could be with her on the screen…the Brooklyn boy as she came to call him, longed and adored the object of his affection secretly hoping that in the midst of a crowd he'd be afforded the chance just to hold her hand as everything between them had to remain of secrecy due to their social circles I began to write. This sucks even on screen, Brooklyn Boy is in a mess regardless. Just as I became even more depressed with my secret life, I was soon joined by the blonde beauty that at one point in my life I worshipped like she were a God or something, but now…I could do without.
"Hey" I sighed as my tiredness was starting to kick in "How is she?" I then asked
"Good, Eleanor woke up for a bit…Blair is with her right now" Serena said
"Did the doctors say she would be all right?" I asked
"They're keeping her over night but Eleanor is putting up a fight over it, so I think she might be coming home tonight if she has her way. B, she's a mess because she doesn't know if her mom should come home or stay in the hospital…Darota is running around like a crazy person trying to get the orders B keeps giving her" Serena said
"And Cyrus? Where is he?" I asked her hoping that I wasn't coming across as too overly concerned like a boyfriend would be
"Cyrus is in Romania but he's flying back as we speak" Serena said as a moment of silence came between us "When did you get the news?" she then asked
"Oh…uh, Blair called me" I said realizing that I probably shouldn't have said that
"She calls you now?" Serena asked with a slight smile of disbelief
"Yeah, we were suppose to do a paper together for our class and she told me that she couldn't meet me because Eleanor was in the hospital…" I said as Serena pieced it together
"And you being Dan, you came over to see how she was. Your that type of guy, the no questions asked…you'll just be there to support someone" Serena said as if she were thinking back to the times when I was there for her
"Blair isn't that bad, I mean college forces you to deal with a variety of people and I've seen worse" I laughed nervously
"Tell me about it, Juliet would be a perfect example" Serena laughed "It's just…nothing, never mind" she said as I wondered what she was thinking
"No, what? What were you going to say?" I asked her
"When I came in, I saw you two in this embrace…and I just thought…I'm crazy" Serena said as she tried to explain what was running through her head
"Blair and I are just friends. Nothing more. That would never happen" I said emphatically as I needed to be convincing for her to believe me but deep inside I hated thinking of her as a friend when she was becoming more to me
"That's what I figured, but I guess things have just been that crazy for me these days. I mean you're a good guy and any girl would be crazy not to fall for you" Serena said as she really laying it on thick
"Well I'm not looking for anything right now, I'm content with where I'm at right now. It's given me more to write about" I said changing the subject off of relationships that would most likely lead down the road of past mistakes with Serena and I
"I'm glad your talking to me again. I was afraid that we would never be the same after Ben, but I'm glad we're at least on good terms" Serena smiled weakly
"I'll always be there for you, that'll never change. I just don't think we're meant for each other anymore" I told her as she nearly looked like I took the air out of her with my statement
"Maybe not" Serena said "Maybe we'll always be this way" she said
"I will…" I said before she cut me off
"Please, lets not say what we'll never be. Let's just be here for Blair and worry about the future later. Can we do that Dan?" Serena asked
"Yeah, we can" I agreed
[Blair's P.O.V.]
Eleanor Waldorf is the most stubborn on the face of this planet, I finally am starting to realize where I get it from because that woman will argue with a deaf person if she could. We had gone back and forth about her staying overnight just to be sure but she just wouldn't hear of it, I even tried to bribe her with….well I couldn't really because she owns everything you would think of but I made a valiant effort to try until I just finally gave in. Serena had stayed most of the day with me, which as her best friend I appreciate because I would have done the same thing, but that also made me wonder what Humphrey was up to. He had text me throughout the day but I needed more than just texts from him at this point, I needed him but having Serena around made that difficult…hell, having people around made that difficult but not as much. When she learned that my mother was being discharged, Serena had cancelled all her plans to stay at home tonight with me so that we could tag team on my mother and give Darota a break from the evil dictator that was me. I relayed the news that I wouldn't be coming to the loft tonight and I swear through the phone I could tell that Humphrey really wanted to be with me just as much as I did him. I guess I liked having that feeling I then thought after the text, I liked knowing that I was with someone that wanted me just as much as I wanted them, I just hated having to keep it a secret. After we had gotten mother situated in her room, Serena and I attempted to stay up and watch movies but that didn't last long as Serena had drifted off to sleep. I don't know why she suggests the movie ideas and leaves me with them, I know a certain person that would have stayed up with me watching Breakfast at Tiffany's. Looking on to make sure that Serena was in a coma like state, I grabbed my phone and snuck off into the restroom to call Humphrey.
"Hey" Dan answered the phone after one ring
"Hey" I laughed knowing that he probably had been staring at the phone wishing I would call…it was weird, but I just knew the Humphreyisms now
"What are you watching?" Dan then asked
"Was watching is the key term, S fell asleep on me" I told him
"Oh, you were watching Breakfast at Tiffany's" Dan laughed "Is that like your secret weapon on judging a person? If they survive Breakfast at Tiffany's than they get your attention" he asked
"Please, it took you two tries to get mine" I said
"That's because I was getting other things from you that mattered more" Dan teased "I went on your queue and you've got quite the depressor, Broken Blossoms, really?" he said
"It's a classic before the age of the speakeasy's" I laughed "And your queue isn't that brilliant either, An Affair to Remember…that sounds like your trying to tell me something through your movie choice" I said
"Maybe so, it'd feel better than today did" Dan replied "I came there to be there for you, all I wanted was to be there for you…but today was a fierce reminder that in that world we don't belong" he said sadly
"And what about between us?" I asked
"Let's just say I can't wait to have you back in my bed" Dan sighed
"Here I thought you were just going to be happy to see me" I said
"You know what I mean" Dan replied "How is your mom?" he then asked
"She's being Eleanor Waldorf as usual. After today I'm clearly beginning to see what you mean by me being demanding" I told him as he just laughed at me
"It's not demanding anymore, it's actually you being assertive…it's helpful now at least I know what you want" Dan teased "Hey, listen to this…" he said as he read me an excerpt from Eliot's story that he sent to Dan
"Sounds amazing" I replied knowing that Eliot was as brilliant as I thought and now with him dealing with his disorder, it would only add to his gift of writing "Can I hear your piece?" I then asked
"I…its not ready yet" Dan told me as I knew right off the bat that it was a lie
"Your such a horrible liar" I told him
"I'm not trying to lie" Dan laughed "Do you want me to lie? Because I can lie and say that your choice of The Big Broadcast of 1938 is an excellent choice" he joked
"I'm going to find your story, and then I'm going to tell Perry that you're holding out on him" I said "I mean this is me, Blair Waldorf, I know everything" I then said
"Then I'll enjoy the challenge then" Dan laughed "Now I want you to imagine something for me" he said
"You with a better fashion sense, I've been imagining that for the longest" I joked
"Ha, ha, ha. Close your eyes Waldorf" Dan replied as I did as he said "Are they closed?" he asked
"I've reluctantly closed my eyes" I reported
"Now, imagine us in bed" Dan said before I quickly opened my eyes
"We're not having phone sex!" I declared
"I'm not trying to have phone sex…I'm trying to be a boyfriend. Close your eyes and just get your mind out of the gutter" Dan told me as I once again closed my eyes "Would you really be that opposed to phone sex?" he then asked getting a little sidetrack
"Get to the point" I told him
"Just imagine me holding you. Imagine us laughing about something that you probably thought I did stupidly…" Dan said before I interrupted him
"I don't think your stupid, I think your clumsy…but not stupid" I said interrupting his train of though
"Okay, well then swap the words out then. Imagine me kissing you goodnight and then us falling asleep" Dan told me as I just smiled at the thought of us being together tonight in some way
"Did I make a joke about the ring? I usually do when we're in bed" I then said
"Yes, I think my manhood was shot down before I kissed you goodnight" Dan laughed but deep down he knew that I loved his ring, usually I had been given jewelry that had the steepest of prices from previous suitors but with this ring I knew how much he cared about me, that his feelings for me made the ring worth more than any dollar sign could
[Dan's P.O.V.]
It seemed poetic, staring out at the landscape that was New York City from my office window while dressed in a suit and tie. My dad would be proud, at least for the suit idea, but I begin to feel like a night away from her felt like an eternity. Why am I feeling like I'm some love sick boy? I mean this is Blair Waldorf we're talking about here. Then again, I think a lot has changed from this is Blair Waldorf we're talking about to where the only thing worth talking about is Blair Waldorf. My morning was lonely and non bickering as I diligently made my way to the office to all of the set out tasks, including stare out of this window. I can't help but wonder what she's doing at this moment, should I call her or should I just wait until she alone so she'll call me? ….ugh! I hate this, I hate just spending my days thinking about her because I need to be doing something productive that way Perry won't fire me. Just as I thought of the boss, he soon came into my office and took a seat in one of my chairs.
"I'm trying to escape my ex" Perry tells me as he pulls out a bag of cookies
"And your ex would be….?" I ask him having no clue who he's talking about
"Michael Tolston" Perry said as I'm truly surprised
"Michael Tolston of the New York Press?" I asked
"Yes. Let's just say he really knows how to use his hands" Perry replied
"Okay, I really didn't need that visual" I said clenching my eyes closed
"Why? Because I'm gay?" Perry asked
"Because Perry, I don't want to picture my boss having sex…that's for any gender preference" I replied
"Sometimes Humphrey I forget how wholesome you are. Your so straight laced, here, have a cookie" Perry said as he offered me a cookie
"I just had a bad night, a very lonely bad night" I said
"You had the case of the blue balls?" Perry asked
"No, I didn't…that's beside the point" I answered but maybe I did
"It has something to do with a girl, I can see it all over your face. My guess that it has to with Blair" Perry said "You might as well confess to me" he then said
"Yes, it had to do about Blair. We sort of spent our first night away from each other, and it sucked" I said realizing how pathtic I sounded "I can't talk about this, I sound so pathetic" I then said
"You can, I'm good at other peoples romance. I can't screw that up. I recently hooked Ellie up with a definite winner" Perry said proudly to me like I was supposed to be impressed with his resume "Plus I think its clear why you feel so pathetic" he said as he munched away on his cookies
"Why?" I asked
"Because your in love with the girl. You only get that can't eat, can't sleep sort of feeling when your in love…or so I'm told" Perry said as I weighed the thought in my mind. I mean I had always known that I had deep feelings for her the more we hung out with each other
"Is it too soon? I mean what if I've just gotten use to her?" I asked him
"No, your in love. There is no symptom other than that from what I can see. It's all starting to make sense with your story now, the girl that you once loathed now is the girl you can't stop thinking about. It's the story coming to life" Perry said
"Yeah, yeah" I said beginning to accept that I was indeed in love with Blair Waldorf "I'm in love with her" I declared
"There you go, say it like your proud" Perry laughed "Now you should tell her" he then said
"Oh, I can't do that" I said coming back to reality "This is Blair Waldorf we're talking about…she'll get freaked out if I tell her I love her, all the girls I've said that to always do. I have this whole thing that just causes them to" I told him
"Those are other girls, not her…she could be waiting for you to tell her for all you know" Perry said as I felt like he knew me better than I ever thought just as Ross made his way inside the office, tearing us away from our conversation
"Sorry" Ross said "Michael is gone" he told Perry
"Remember, tell her" Perry told me before he rose from his seat and made his way out of the office
"I have some notes on a couple of the stories, do you want them now?" I asked Ross as he just looked on at me
"Later. I have to make a few phone calls" Ross said "I'll see you later" he said as he left the office. For a moment I thought about my newly discovered revelation that I had discussed with Perry, and with much thought I pulled my cell phone and immediately went to my text screen
D: I love
I put down as I was trying my hardest to put the rest, I had to put one more word and that would be it. My feelings would be on display for her to see with just one more word before I deleted a word.
D: I hope everything is ok
And at this point, I'm a coward.
[Blair's P.O.V.]
Coming down the staircase, I looked on at the text that Humphrey sent and I was happy that he cared but I found it a bit odd that he would text me that. I mean I wasn't expecting something grand but it sounded so bland what he wrote, Humphrey is an odd guy. Serena was still sound asleep, so inviting him over for lunch would have been out the question…oh, and he's at work…so that's another added problem. Luckily, I had finished up my article early this morning so I was in the clear when it came to work. Entering into the kitchen, I saw Darota preparing lunch and at first when she saw me it seemed as if she was happy but then her smile soon faded as she remembered that I was still upset with her. Taking a seat at the counter like I always had, I had to admit that I missed my buddy, I hated being upset with her because of all people, I needed her the most. For a while we just sat in silence as she prepared lunch and I just busied myself on my phone. Before I realize just how stupid this was for us not to be speaking to each other.
"I'm sorry" I just blurted out as she looked at me with surprise
"For what Ms. Blair?" Darota asked
"For chewing your head off at the hospital" I said "I just needed someone to blame and you were convenient" I told her
"I see Mr. Humphrey as put himself in your good graces that he has escaped your wrath" Darota smiled as I looked at her alarmingly because Serena could come down in any second and to hear us talking about Dan would not be in my best interest "I'm sorry" she said
"Just don't let it happen again, I want to avoid the drama" I told her
"I will take better care of your mother" Darota assured me
"No, we'll take better care of her. I don't want you burning out either because I don't think I can handle something happening to you as well because of me" I said as Darota nearly teared up "Keep chopping" I told her not wanting her to start a tear fest
"It warms my heart to hear that from you Ms. Blair" Darota told me as she continued to chop
"I figured you'd say that" I laughed "Can I ask you a question?" I then said as my mind had drifted off to a thought I had last night "Lets call you know who…boy, for safe keeping" I told her
"Okay, tell me about boy" Darota smiled
"Sometimes when I'm with boy, I feel like I'm at Marc Jacobs" I told her
"During fashion week?" Darota asked
"Especially during fashion week" I replied "It's like…okay, maybe I should rephrase this. It's like being at fashion week where I'm constantly on a thrill ride. I mean there are certain dresses that I love then there are others, very few, but I don't like them but I appreciate them because they're made by such an amazing designer" I told her but yet she still looked confused
"Does boy wear dresses?" Darota asked
"Darota! Focus" I told her "The dresses represent what boy does for me, and the designer is boy" I explained
"Okay, I think I understand now" Darota smiled "But you love all the dresses by the designer basically?" she said
"I can't wait to wear them. I mean they match with all the important designer shoes I own from Louboutin, Choo, Bensimon…" I began to list before Darota cut me off
"I understand" Darota said becoming annoyed with the list "Do you think you might love these dresses or is it the designer?" she asked
"I don't know. I mean these dresses by the designer are perfect but can't be worn everywhere in the countries that matter" I replied
"But does the designer mean something to you? If the designer does then it shouldn't matter what country you wear the dress in because the dress on its own makes you smile" Darota asked
"The dresses and the designer mean a lot to me. I've never felt this way about a waistline ….and its hemlines constantly surprise me. But this designer though…I don't know" I told her
"Oh, Ms. Blair…I think you know, your just afraid to admit it" Darota said
"Or maybe if I admit then I'll want to share it with everyone and not everyone will be happy about my designer…people will get hurt" I told her as I thought more and more about him "Because I do, I do love the designer, I love how the dresses make me feel. I love how when I think it won't fit that it just slips on perfectly. I especially love that I could be anything with the designer and he'll still find beauty to create a dress just for me, the designer even gave me this cheap ring but instead of me tossing it in the trash, I wear it like its Cartier" I said just as Serena made her way into the kitchen
"What about a designer?" Serena asked as she poured herself a glass of orange juice
"Nothing, I was just talking about my dress for the fundraiser" I said
"Who's the designer?" Serena asked "Maybe I can wear one of his dresses because I just can't find a designer that I haven't worn" she smiled as I had to force a smile as she's worn this designer many of times, she just never appreciated the dresses. If she wore anymore of the dresses by this designer, I'd be like a depressing Taylor Swift song talking about love lost.
[Chuck's P.O.V.]
It's good to be back. I do believe I have been gone too long. With the news that I've received from one of my associates, its clear that I have business to tend to. It will come at the expense of some, but the end game has to stay the same. Why?…because I'm Chuck Bass